Riya stretched her body lazily, her eyes moving to the clock; it was half past nine in the morning but she didn't had the energy to be up. She had to take all patients of Dr Smith as a new patient seemed a little on edge and his session lasted few hours. After that long day a work, she had decided to watch movie , have her favorite food and sleep till ten the next day as if was her off. But things changed when Nirali called and kept asking if she was fine. Riya could make out that Nirali had been stressed about something , but latter kept denying. She tried probing and next moment it was Lakshay on the phone. Riya had asked him straight if they had a fight and he accepted.
They spoke and Lakshay did most of the listening. He wished and they called it off. Riya knew in their relationship, Nirali was volatile one but she could never hear a word against her friend. After a fateful incident, Riya had to cut contacts with all who she held dear to her heart but Nirali never stopped looking for her and after she came to UK, it was her aunt who told her that her friend has been reaching to get it touch. Nirali's messages and concerned voice mails had left Riya emotional. Had she heard them before, she would have asked for help. And she knew Nirali would do all to help. She huffed recalling the small quarrel her friend and husband had. Riya smiled praying for the their well being.
Riya moved to her coffee machine but then her heart yearned for her ginger chai. Smiling, she made her way to the refrigerator to get her tea done. She heard the intercom and security informed she had package and checked if it was okay to be left at her door. She agreed.
When Riya opened her apartment door, she found bouquet of roses in every color a her door along with an envelope. She smiled, Shaan had done this for years to cheer her up and let her know he was there as a friend, but he would always pick yellow. The colourful bunch today surprised her. She picked it up moving in . She was curious about the note and pulled it out of envelope. It was a card, a simple card which had just one word ''Sorry!''
Riya stared at it, she knew it wasn't from Shaan. She knew that Varun was closer than she thought, she had not just imagined him under her window on the stormy night, she had felt him around her. She had loved him for so long that she could feel him even without looking at him. She knew he had been watching her but strangely , she wasn't bothered.
Riya picked her tea and moved the living room, she flipped the news paper around shaking her head. News paper were to keep her updated of her surrounding but these days, all they had were the details of error in human behaviour . Feeling a little disturbed , she moved to the window sipping her tea. Her mind replaying the word in the card, but in Varun's voice. How long had she waited for him to say that. On the day he diched her, on the day of her wedding,the day she came to a new country and in countless dreams, but it never happened, and when it happened, she was so over it. It didn't feel a thing. Riya kept her cup aside, pulled out a trash bag and dumped the flowers into them. She was going to leave it in a public trash Bin that very day.
***
Past
''What is this?'' Riya asked Shaan. he smiled at her and took a seat beside her. ''You did well, these are the fruits of your labor. You are accepted for medicine course.''
She stared a him dumb found, this man, who was her husband by law came in her life in form of an angel. Shaan never demand a thing, not even his congenial rights. He understood her like no other and still she wasn't in love with him. Riya broke down, she sobbed hard, her face hidden in her palms.
''Riya, what's wrong?'' Shaan asked worried, he sat opposite to her trying to calm her but to no avail, so he let her pour all out, patiently waiting for her to speak. When her sobs reduced to hiccups, he offered her a glass of water.
''Better'' She nodded. Shaan took his seat next to her again as she kept staring at him. ''Shaan, do you like me.''
he smiled. ''Yes, a lot. But I know you will never return the feeling.''
''Why can't I love you even after you have done all this for me? Am I a bad person...a selfish one.'' Shaan smiled. He wiped her tears, ''Riya, there are many who like or adore me for the way I deal with them or how I am with them. Should I fall in love with them for that?''
''That's different. They are your patient and I am your wife''
''No, you are not. Just because we signed a paper and people declared as man and wife, no. Its for them, not for us. For us, it will be the day you and I accept this relation.''
''What if I am never able to?'' She asked scared that should would lose her final support
He read the fear. ''I know you will never be able to. This is why, I will be Dr Shaan when you need me as doctor and just Shaan, when you need a friend.'' Riya stared at him in disbelief, she felt guilty of using this guy to escape her family who cared less if she lived or die and here he was, like an angel of light bringing brightness to all the dark corners of her life.
***
Riya came back to present and gave an instruction to the security about not accepting anything any further. She was going let Shaan and Vaani know as well.
***
Varun sipped his black coffee, his eyes on his phone. He had rented an apartment in an area closer to Riya. he was aware that she would have thrown the bouquet away but he was determined to beg, till she forgave him.
He was now at a upscale cafe having his breakfast and watching crowd bustling to work through the glass wall. He checked his calendar, they had another show in a week and he was planning to perform. Come what may, he wasn't ready to let his friends or audience down. One let down for a life was enough for him to pay.
He huffed and his eyes moved when he felt cold wind hitting his back. A heavily pregnant woman walked in and took a table adjutant to his. ''Hi Vaani, your regular?'' The young waitress asked.
Vaani, gave a tired smile with a nod. Varun couldn't understand why, but he decided to stay. This woman Vaani, did not look okay. His fears came true when she doubled up crying in pain and he came on to his feet along with the few other people.
''I ...am '' He held her hand. ''I will drive you, just give me your hospital and doctor's name.'' Varun drove Vaani as fast as he could, when they took her in the doctor asked if he knew her. He narrated the incident and she asked the reception to call her husband.
After about an hour, the doctor stepped out and informed Vanni gave birth to a daughter and her husband was on the way. Varun was about to leave when doctor informed, she wanted to see him.
Varun entered her room and Vaani smiled. ''What's your name?''
''Varun.''
''I am Vaani, thank you!'' He just nodded, feeling out of words. ''Do you want to meet my daughter?''
Varun looked a little confused. 'You are a walking curse, you would destroy all you touch.' He recalled his father's words from many of his unpleasant outburst. Varun hesitated.
''That won't be necessary.'' Vaani studied the man, she knew he didn't knew her but she recognized him the moment he stepped in. He was Riya's Varun. She had seen his picture and researched on him when Shaan told her about Riya and her past. Varun, was a broken soul like Riya, she knew Riya might hate her but she owed to this man.
''You small act saved me today, I want you to bless my daughter.'' Varun gulped. His siblings were married and had their own family but none bothered to invite him. He understood his dad's indifference but not his siblings. He took a deep breath. ''Thanks for the honor Vaani, I would request you and your husband to respect all choices she makes and I wish her all the love of the universe.'' Vaani knew those words came from heart. She nodded and just then Shaan entered the room.
''I was in surgery.....'' Shaan's movements froze when he spotted Varun and latter marvelled at destiny to bring him face to face with Shaan. The man she hated and admired at the same time.
Shaan 's eyes held anger but Vaani's voice stopped whatever he wanted to say. ''Varun helped me today or something bad would have happened.'' Shaan just gave a nod and Varun decided to walk away.
Shaan watched him disappear and hen hugged his wife. ''You shouldn't have stepped out.''
''I was craving my favourite dessert.'' She replied as He pecked her forehead.
''Shaan, he is repenting. He is as broken her, help them.''
Shaan shook his head. ''No, he has to help himself before anyone else can step in.''
''I wish she starts loving him again.''
Shaan chuckled, ''She never stopped. He is in her heart, her blood, her breath and he is in her anger and hate. This is why no one could make a place.''
''Will she forgive him?''
''Don't know, but whatever she decides, we should be with her.'' Vaani nodded leaving the topic for now. She watched as her husband cooed their daughter. She watched Shaan, a wonderful man and she was lucky to have him. If not for Riya, she and Shaan would have never met or married.
Vaani knew she could sympathize with Riya but never understand the magnitude of her pain. But another part of her mind wondered how wonderful it would be for the two broken soul to be whole again. She shook her head, she had tried fixing Riya with few guys but latter's rigid persona made her stop. She was never insecure of Riya and Shaan but she wanted Riya happy . All what she had heard for years from Shaan, she knew it was Varun in whom her heart desired. Vaani leaned back, she just could pray for the moment and not do anything which would effect Riya.
***
Varun threw all that was in his stomach. Coming face to face with Shaan triggered something strange. It was a mix of guilt, jealousy or gratitude. Varun couldn't decipher that but he hated himself more. He knew if Riya was fine it was because of another man who wasn't him. Shaan stood up when he couldn't. Shaan was right in every sense and Varun had been the synonym of wrong.
''Why would she come to you?'' ''Why should she accept your apology?'' His mind screamed. He loathed himself more than Riya or anyone else did. He was a coward and Shaan was a man. Shaan stepped in when chickened out.
Varun splashed clod water over his face, she stared at his horrid expression. ''I don't deserve her, but she deserves the best. Hereon, I will live to heal your heart and then I will be gone to watch you from distance. You will never have to see me again.'' Varun smiled, a tear filled with loss came down his cheek. He felt determined and just then this phone pinged, he picked up and double tapped on the message. It was the picture oh him with all his friends , Arun had send it with a caption. 'Remember, we are your family and you promised to come back.'
Varun just shook his head, the choice between life and death had never been this difficult.
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