| 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻 |
𝙄'𝙢 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚
✧༝✧
It hadn't crossed her mind that seeing a red jeep sitting at the side of a road would activate so many memories. Riven could see the way Jeremiah's face had lit up when he'd first shown it to her. When she started learning to drive and he let her practice in it. The little trips to the store to grab snacks and sugary drinks.
Riven's trip down memory lane was cut short by a now older Jeremiah, who seemed to be both confused and fuming. He snatched the laptop from Riven's hands and placed it, along with Conrad's other belongings, into the back seat.
"Why would he take off like that to Cousins?" Jeremiah questioned but didn't let Riven answer, "I don't think he's missed a day of class in his life. Not even when Mom was sick. Who was he yelling at on the phone? I mean it had to have been Dad, right? What could they possibly be arguing about?"
He finally stopped, giving her chance to respond, "He and Adam were always disagreeing about something."
Jeremiah shook his head, "I really don't wanna get dragged into the middle of whatever bullshit Conrad's in right now, but if something were to happen to him I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."
"Hey, no." Riven almost dove forward to comfort him, like it was basic instinct to, but she stopped herself when she remembered she couldn't do that anymore, "Nothing has happened to Conrad, okay? He sent his roommate a text, so that signifies that he's alive and well, especially because it seems he's still worrying about his exams. He's probably just spending the day surfing and switched off his phone."
"Maybe." Jeremiah exhaled, his eyes finally shifting to meet hers, "But it's only been a month since..."
The funeral. Riven could feel heat pricking at the corners of her eyes at the thought.
"You know how he is." Jeremiah continued, "He just bottles up all that shit until at some point it explodes. I don't think he has anyone. He definitely hasn't been talking to me."
That hit Riven right in the chest. After Conrad broke up with her, the next time they spoke was at the funeral, and that was that. He could've had her, spoken to her about anything and she'd let him, but he clearly didn't want to.
So she thought he'd at least have Jeremiah to talk to, or Belly, or Steven, or even her own brother but it seemed like since last summer, everyone had fallen apart, and she didn't like that at all.
"Do you want me to come to Cousins with you?" Riven offered.
"I didn't need you to come here." Jeremiah spat, "I think I can handle things on my own."
"Wow." The pain in her chest was stinging, like a thousand wasps were attacking her heart, "Okay, fine. At least text me when you find him."
She wasn't going to stand there and be talked to like that, especially without an explanation, one he obviously wasn't going to give her. How had she fucked something up so badly that her once best friend was now being a completely different person to who she knew? She hated it.
Riven grasped the strap of her bag, trying to relieve the hurt running through her. She spun around and began to head back in the direction of the bus stop.
"Riven, wait." He exhaled. She probably should've kept walking but she stopped and turned back around. Jeremiah pulled open the car door, "Get in."
The brunette took several steps back towards him, her eyebrows pulling together, "Are you gonna stop talking to me like I'm a piece of shit you stepped in?"
She watched his jaw tightened but she couldn't read his eyes. It was like there were a hundred emotions running through them all at once, and he couldn't pick one.
Jeremiah swallowed, gesturing to the vehicle, "You coming or not?"
"I asked you a question."
He exhaled a deeper breath, his eyes failing to meet hers, "I'll be quiet."
In any other situation, that wouldn't have been good enough but this was different. They weren't joking around, or close anymore. This was the most they'd spoken in months. Plus, Conrad was still M.I.A and she wanted to see with her own eyes that he was okay.
So she got in the car.
✧༝✧
They drove in silence for quiet some time with the radio on a low volume. Riven had been fidgeting with her phone and staring out the window at the views they were passing by.
She thought Jeremiah was about to speak so her head turned to glance at him, but all she saw was Conrad, and they weren't in the red jeep anymore, they were in his car.
In the quiet of the night of mid-December, Riven had stuffed a couple of belongings into a bag and left her house. Down the street, sitting in his car and waiting for her had been Conrad. They'd planned to sneak off to the beach house in Cousins in the middle of the night to spend some time together.
"Aren't you cold?" He'd asked, seeing she was wearing only a thin sweater.
"Oh, I forgot to grab a coat on my way out." Riven had told him, having been too excited to see him. "I'll be okay. I'm not cold."
"Here." He was already taking off his own thick grey sweater and handing it to her.
She had laughed, shaking her head at him, "I said I'm not cold."
Conrad's eyes had met hers, his pupils had dilated as they'd drank her in, "You know I know you better than that."
Jeremiah cleared his throat. Riven turned her attention back to her phone when a soft melody played from it. Spencer was calling. She took in a deep breath through her nostrils before answering, "What's up?"
"Mom's leaving for that thing with Laurel." He said on the other end, "What do you want for dinner?"
"Uh, you can have whatever you want." Riven responded, "I'm spending the night at Olivia's. Maybe two."
"All right." Was all he said before hanging up.
After the break-up, Conrad and Jeremiah had lost contact with Spencer too. Their friendships had slowly fizzled out when they found out Conrad and Riven were dating, then when it ended everything fell to pieces. Riven knew he blamed her for that.
"Was that Spencer?" Jeremiah asked as Riven placed her phone into her lap.
"Yeah." She simply responded. It was the first thing they'd said since leaving Brown.
It was quiet for a moment before Jeremiah spoke again, "How is he?"
Riven gave a small shrug, "Okay, I guess. We don't really talk much, about anything."
"Why not?" He questioned, but he must've known.
"A lot has happened in the past five months." She said, staring out the window.
It fell silent again, Jeremiah focusing on driving while Riven couldn't keep focused on anything for too long. Then her eyes focused on something stuck to the wall of a house they passed by. It was a unlit Christmas light that hadn't been taken down.
"On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we're gone?" Conrad asked as he drove them to Cousins. It was so quiet on the roads but all the houses they passed were lit up with Christmas lights and decorations, providing an array of colour through the car.
"Oh, I'm not getting into trouble." Riven told him, "I'm telling everyone you dragged me into the car and kidnapped me."
"What? Please." Conrad playfully scoffed, "You jumped at the chance."
"It's not nice to lie, Conrad." Riven teased.
He shook his head, "So, you didn't want to see me and go to the beach?"
"Oh no, I wanted to go to the beach." She told him, "I just wasn't so sure about the you part."
A laugh escaped his lips as his hand found her thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze, "Now who's the liar?"
Riven tried to suppress a laugh, "You're just my ride."
"I will turn this car back around." Conrad jokingly threatened but couldn't stop the smile on his lips.
She shook her head, tucking her hand into his as she grinned at him, "No, you won't."
"Can you call Conrad again?" Jeremiah asked.
Riven picked up her phone and unlocked it. She found Conrad's name in her contacts and it stirred her stomach. Her finger slipped over the call icon and she held it to her ear, unsure of what she'd actually say if he answered.
But he didn't.
"No answer." Riven told the younger Fisher brother. "We actually haven't talked since the funeral."
"What the hell happened with you guys?" Jeremiah's question shocked her.
She turned her head to look at him, "He never told you?"
"We don't talk about you." He told her. Before she could ask anything the car tugged to one side and a hissing sound came from one of the wheels. "Oh shit. Great."
Jeremiah stopped the car, huffing through his nostrils as he undid his seatbelt and climbed out of the vehicle. Riven did the same. She stared down at the burst front tire as Jeremiah joined her side.
"Who are you calling?" Riven asked as he pressed his phone to his ear.
"Triple A." He told her, "Because incase you didn't notice, the tire's done for."
Okay, so he was back to being an arse to her. And she was stranded with him. Great.
"I'm sure we can do it ourselves." Riven furrowed her brows, "Don't you have a spare?"
"Uh, no...?" Jeremiah seemed uncertain, ending the phone call that hadn't been answered.
She rounded the car to its back trunk. Sitting on the trunk door was the spare tire. Riven slapped her hand against it twice, "Then what the hell is this?"
"Is that not... for decoration?"
Riven tried not to groan outwardly. She exhaled, "Now where's the jack?"
Jeremiah opened up the trunk and searched around until he pulled two objects out, "This it?"
She nodded. They moved back towards the flat tire, "Okay, so you gotta put that behind the wheel so the car doesn't move."
He did as she instructed, "How do you know how to do this?"
"My uncle taught me and Spencer. You know, the one who owns a car dealership." Riven said, monitoring Jeremiah, "Don't lift it too high."
"I'm not lifting it too high." He huffed.
"Okay, bring it back down and move it closer to the wheel." She told him.
Jeremiah tried to push the jack but it wouldn't budge, "I can't."
"Lower it and move it closer--"
"I can't--"
"Just--"
The stress of the situation and the heat swarmed an already frustrated Jeremiah, causing him to fall backwards onto the dirt. He dropped the hand crank onto the ground and pushed himself up, "Great idea with this, Riven!"
"It's not my fault." She frowned.
He let out a humorless laugh, "Seriously? This was your fucking idea."
"I was just trying to help."
"Now I'm covered in dirt, it's a hundred degrees outside, and if you would've just let me call triple A, they would be here already." Jeremiah huffed.
"Then call them?" She continued to frown, "I'm not stopping you. Not this time."
Riven yanked open the passenger side door and pulled out her bag, placing the strap over her shoulder. She started walking in the direction they were supposed to be heading.
"Where the hell are you going?" Jeremiah called after her.
"I'll make my own way to Cousins." She told him.
He scoffed, "Riven, stop being ridiculous."
Her feet ground into the dirt, stopping herself. Riven spun back to face him, "I'm being ridiculous? You're the one acting like a child. Why are you yelling at me? And treating me the way you are? What the hell did I do, Jeremiah?"
"You were my best friend, Riven." His eyebrows had pulled tightly together, his voice straining as he half-yelled, "And you abandoned me, for my brother."
"Abandoned you?" She frowned, "What are you talking about? You froze me out. You stopped answering my texts and calls."
Jeremiah took a moment, his chest heaving. He swallowed, "My mom was dying and you never asked if I was okay. That day we found out, after the deb ball, you were with Conrad. You never even checked on me."
How had she been so blind to that? Now that he'd mentioned it, it was starting to make sense. They were all hurting that day but Conrad was the one who had come into her room, and came to her at the beach.
And then after they kissed, everything became even more complicated and confusing. She had no sense of direction or reality. But all of that sounded like an excuse. She should've been there for Jeremiah, and she wasn't.
That pain in her chest was back and so was the warm prickling sensation of tears, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Jeremiah spat, "For Conrad dumping you? Did you really not see that coming, Riven? Because I sure did."
"I'm sorry for not being there for you." Riven told him, "I'm sorry for being such a shitty friend and leaving you when you needed me most. I didn't know that I'd done that, my emotions were all over the place and when you didn't answer my calls I thought that's what you wanted. To be left alone. So I did. But I miss you, and I have this entire time."
Jeremiah didn't respond, he was trying to hold back his tears by not looking at her.
"When Susannah was sick, I was so focused on Conrad and being there for him, and I should've been there for you too, okay? And I hate myself for not being."
As his tears started to break from his eyes, Riven moved forward and wrapped her arms around him. Jeremiah's head fell against hers, his own arms holding her.
"It happened so fast, Riv. It was really, really bad." He sobbed, "I had Dad and Conrad, sort of, but I needed you and you just weren't there. You left me."
Riven stroked his back, trying to soothe him, "I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."