By Thursday, the weather was back to being rainy and gloomy. The streets of New York City no longer emitted golden warmth, but rather a grayish cold that sunk into your bones and made you freeze from the inside out. Despite being late May, the cloudy weather prevented the metal buildings from reflecting any heat, and some people, were dressed in long pants and coats to keep warm from the breeze of the storm.
Lizzie hadn't been back to Sunset and Vine since that Tuesday morning, and she was craving a hot coffee more than anything the second her eyes opened. She knew she really should've just made one at home and then gone for lunch like she'd planned, but the feeling of scalding coffee on her tongue was to tempting an idea to delay. So, she dressed for the day, complete with black leggings and a white t-shirt, and headed out the door, LA Dodgers baseball cap on her head and same black sunglasses over her eyes. Always in need of a disguise if any ounce of privacy is to be kept for longer then ten minutes. The sad reality of her life at the moment.
The walk was short, only ten minutes, but the cold was biting for this time of year. Although not terrible, Lizzie's cheeks were pink by time she made it into Sunset and Vine. Via was already inside, wiping down tables with her hair thrown up in a ponytail that looked three seconds away from falling back down. When Lizzie opened the cafe door, and the bell chimed, a wave of air conditioning hit her. Oddly enough, it felt comforting, not adding to the existing cold in her bones.
Via looks up from her table, and for a second, Lizzie thinks she might flinch and back away, but instead, her eyes light up and she looks like she's on the edge of sprinting over and wrapping her up in a hug, but she doesn't do that. She just settles for offering the brunette a shy wave and a blush.
"Good Morning, Jay. Good Morning, Barry." Lizzie grins, greeting the couple who are behind the counter. The cafe is still empty at this hour, but by the stacked up receipts Lizzie can tell they've had quite a few grab and gos since opening. "Good Morning, Via."
"Good Morning, Lizzie." Via blushes, looking back down at the table she's wiping off instead of making eye contact with the actress. She can't explain this shyness, that's so different from her typical antsy nervousness, but it's nice. It feels like butterflies in her belly instead of thumbtacks.
"I thought you were coming for lunch, don't cheat me out of an egg salad sandwich!" Barry jokes, throwing a dishrag down on the countertop as she finishes cleaning the espresso machine.
"Woke up craving a coffee, couldn't wait until lunch. Plus, I figured I could spend the day in the book corner. I've just picked up a new one called All The Light We Cannot See." Lizzie smiles, and Jay just shakes her head laughing.
"You and your coffee, Elizabeth." She shakes her head, turning around to begin the order while Lizzie browses the display case for a breakfast idea for Via.
"Hey Jay, what might Via like? I assume she hasn't let you give her anything yet." Lizzie keeps her voice hushed, and Jay smiles fondly at the care in Lizzie's tone and actions. This woman hasn't been hardened by the industry, if anything, she's gotten softer.
"If you're going to get a cream cheese bagel, so will she. Loves those, but rarely lets us give her one." Barry cuts in before Jay can answer, and his wife just nods her encouragement for his idea. "All we managed to get in her Tuesday was the croissant, and we had very little luck yesterday, she was insistent that so much had already been done for her and she was okay." Lizzie frowns, knowing that little girl must be starving by now, and just pushing through it like she thinks she has too. Lizzie hopes she doesn't feel like she deserves that pain, but she can't be so sure about Olivia's thoughts.
"Two cream cheese bagels then, and a hot chocolate. How she likes." Lizzie smiles, pulling her card out of her bag after setting the books she's holding on the counter.
"You're not paying." Jay shakes her head, setting both drinks on the surfboard countertop while Barry sets out to make the bagels.
"Jay, come on." Lizzie whines, "I'm paying, I'm not just gonna take it."
"You're just as bad as Olivia. Elizabeth, everything you do for us, let this one be on the house. I promise I'll let you pay for lunch." Jay teases, though there's a great sincerity in her tone that warms Lizzie's heart.
"Without the discount?" Lizzie cocks her head to the side, raising her eyebrows at Jay in the most teasingly threatening manor she can compose.
Jay laughs, "In your dreams." Lizzie just grumbles, grabbing the drinks with bold hands and punching the bagel bag between her fingers, books tucked between her arm and her side.
Lizzie walks over to Via, smiling widely at the little girl. Today, she has on a blue long sleeved shirt, and black leggings, though the shirt looks worn thin and the shoes are the same broken apart ones that she had on before. Lizzie had to admit, the blue looked sweet on her.
"Breakfast?" Lizzie asks, holding up the hot chocolate and bagel the best she can manage.
Via blushes, kicking at the ground. "You don't have to keep buying me food."
"Well, I didn't even buy this. Jay refused to let me pay. But, I don't mind. I like having company." Lizzie said warmly, breaking a smile in hopes of easing the nerves bubbling in Via's belly. "It's hot chocolate and a cream cheese bagel. I've got a bagel and a coffee."
"Did you bring the book?" Via asks meekly, and Lizzie smiles widely. She sets both drinks on the table Via just finished wiping down, and then the bagel bags, and finally pulls the two books out from between her arm.
"I brought To Kill A Mockingbird, and a book for me to read. I figured we could do some reading today, not so much talking." Lizzie explains considerately, not missing how Via seems to brighten at the suggestion of just existing together, rather than having to carry a conversation. Lizzie assumes too many people have tried to interrogate her on her life.
"I've read that one." She says shyly, nodding toward the other novel in Lizzie's hand. She pulls the sleeve of her top over her hands, nervously fiddling with it. "I liked it."
"Oh, really?" Lizzie hummed, amazed by the depth of Via's reading history. "We'll have to talk about it once I finish it."
Via nods, "I've read most of what's in the library." She looks over toward the bookshelves. "After I leave here, if the library is still open, I sit there and read them. But, that way I can't write in the margins." She explains, and Lizzie stands, puzzled. Jay had said Via checks out the books, but never reads them. But she goes to a public library and reads them there?
"Any reason why you don't read them here? I know Jay and Barry wouldn't mind your notes in the margin. Half the books on that shelf came from me, so they're already scribbled in." Lizzie questions, trying hard not to push or pry, but genuinely curious.
"I have work to do." Via says simply, but there seems to be more words at the tip of her tongue that she doesn't have the courage to push out.
"You know, there are quite a few readers on set. Why don't you go through some of your favorites, and we can set you up a little book of the week recommendation stand. I think a lot of people would love that. Escaping to another world after you've lived in the shoes of somebody else for a day is very therapeutic." Lizzie explains with a wide grin. She hopes her idea is well perceived, and not like she's intending to push Via to open up.
"Book of the week?" The little girl mimics her, eyes wide and colored green as the greenery from around the cafe allows the color to pop, but the blue in her shirt does a wonderful job of bringing out the blue in her eyes.
"Yeah. We can get you a little chalkboard stand, and we can write on it so it says 'Via's Book of The Week'. How does that sound?"
"Olivia's Book of The Week." Via cut in, and for a second Lizzie thought she'd messed up, that this was the little girls way of saying they weren't friends anymore, but Via continued before the thoughts could start racing. "Only friends call me Via, and I don't know them."
Lizzie smile beams, and she giggles a little. Via seems so protective over her name, and whether it's for a good reason or a traumatic reason, Lizzie's letting herself find it cute for the moment. "Okay. They'll only call you Olivia."
"You know Via. I have two older sisters and an older brother, and for the longest time they only called me Lizard. So much so that my little sister thought my name was actually Lizard." Lizzie smiles at the little giggle that escapes Via's lips, and she thinks she'd tell a million embarrassing stories just to hear that sound again.
"Lizard." Via tested it on her tongue, sitting down at the table unconsciously while Lizzie followed her actions. The older woman pushed the hot chocolate and bagel toward the younger girl, hoping now that she's relaxed she'd put up less of a fight.
"Don't you start too!" Lizzie giggles, taking a bite out of the bagel, feeling a floodgate of memories shoot up when she really lets the taste settle in. It still tastes the same, after all these years.
"My um, my old social worker used to call me Pea Pod. She'd call me Via Pia, but then it just got shortened to Pee, and then it ended up as Pea Pod." Via shares nervously, looking back and forth between her hands to Lizzie's eyes.
"Old social worker?" Lizzie frowned, from what she could gather, this social worker Via had was kind, but something tells her that's not the case anymore.
"Mmhm. Got switched a couple years ago. Gloria retired. Mr. Hoards on my case now. I don't see him very much. Gloria cared for me... I think? She brought me a birthday gift one year, my very first one." Via shares, and Lizzie's heart clenches. What child doesn't get birthday gifts? What child has to question if the people meant to protect her actually care or not?
"I'm sorry, Via." Lizzie doesn't know what else to say. She can't assure this kid that her social worker cares, because honestly, he probably doesn't, and deceiving trust isn't something she wants to do with Via. "When is your birthday?"
"May 1st. It must've been 2005." She elaborates.
"You're not sure?" Lizzie frowns, taking a sip out of her coffee that's now finally cool enough to drink without blistering her tongue.
"Well, I've never seen my birth certificate. Gloria gave me my present on my fifth birthday, so I must be nine now. I only know my last name is Gardner because anytime Gloria or Mr. Hoard stop by for scheduled visits, they call me Ms. Gardner." Via wrinkles her nose adorably, and Lizzie wishes she could snap a picture to remember that face forever and ever.
"Don't like being called Ms. Gardner?" Lizzie chuckles, to which Via shakes her head adamantly. "Cant blame you, I don't like being called Ms. Olsen. Makes me feel so much older than twenty-five."
"C-Can I tell you something?" The little girl looks deep in her thoughts, biting at her lower lip again. For the calm morning Lizzie wanted to have, that didn't involve any talking, they've done a whole lot at unpacking Via's home life.
"Of course. This cafe is my safe space. It sounds kind of silly, but Jay and Barry and these four walls have been with me through some very hard times, and nothing I've said has ever left this space. You can tell me anything." Lizzie hopes her words bring Via some comfort, because she desperately wants to know more about this little
girl, and not just the surface level shit.
"My middle name is Olivia. My foster father... Alan... he calls me my first name. Florence." Via shares, and Lizzie wants to scoop her up and squeeze her so tightly. She knew that wasn't easy for the little girl, she can only imagine the trauma she associates with her name if she goes to great lengths to be called something else. For the first time, Lizzie doesn't question if Via feels safe with her. It's clear that she does.
"Thank you for sharing that with me, Via." The tension deflates from Via's shoulders, like she'd been anticipating Lizzie to throw away her wishes and call her Florence now that she knows it's her name, but Lizzie doesn't do that. It doesn't even look like it's about to role off her tongue. Somewhere inside of her, there's a craving to hear the call of her name off of somebody's gentle lips, rather then the harsh one of her foster father, but she silences that whisper or desire for the time being.
"Thank you for sharing about Lizard." The little girl mimics, and Lizzie swears her heart grows three sizes. "I won't tell anyone."
"I won't tell anyone either. Not even Jay or Barry. That stays between us." Lizzie smiles behind the cup of coffee, and Via raises her own cup, mirroring Lizzie. Maybe it was purposeful, the first sense of childish behavior coming out since walking into the cafe, or maybe she'd just finally convinced herself it was okay to start drinking. Either way, Lizzie found it painfully adorable.
"I don't have siblings." Via shocks Lizzie by bringing up another personal subject, and she takes a bite out of her bagel before she can say anything more, giving Lizzie the space to speak.
"I'm the youngest of four biological siblings, and have two younger half siblings. Blood doesn't matter much to me though, Courtney and Jake are as much my brother and sister as the others are." Lizzie explains, giggling when a bit of cream cheese smears on Via's nose. "You've got cream cheese on your nose."
Via scrambles to wipe it away with a napkin, unlike the Tuesday incident, doing it gently, but her movements are still frantic. Small victories. Lizzie just smiles, glad that they're making some kind of progress at all. "I can tell you about my siblings?" Lizzie offers, to which Via nods eagerly.
"Well, Trent is the oldest. He dabbles in writing sometimes, but he's a DJ mainly. He was always into music when we were kids, I think that's part of the reason I love it so much now. And then there are my older sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley. They were actors for a long while, but now they're fashion designers. They're probably the sweetest women I know. I looked up to them when I was a kid, and they've never let me down. Growing up, they used to make me be part of their plays, but I was never allowed to speak. They always gave me the pet role and told me to be quiet." Lizzie giggles a bit at the memory before continuing. "And then there's my sister Courtney, she's graduating high school this year, I don't know what she'll go into, but I assume it'll be something fashion related. And finally, my youngest brother Jake. He's sixteen, so he's still got a couple of years to figure himself out."
Via smiles at Lizzie, taking another bite out of her bagel. "Did they ever make you be a lizard?"
Lizzie gasps, laughing so authentically her head tips backward and her eyes close. Via joins in eventually, and both girls just sit in stitches for a few minutes before sobering up. "You know Via, for what it's worth. I think both of your names are beautiful. Your birth mother did a wonderful job picking them for you."
Via smiles fondly, "She died during childbirth. That's all I really know. Gloria told me that, but never told me how I ended up in the system. Just that my mother died, and she gave me her last name."
"Would it be okay, if... if i got you a birthday present?" Lizzie questioned hesitantly.
"My birthday was weeks ago." Via furrowed her eyebrows, not understanding why Lizzie would do such a thing, especially when she's already bought her breakfast once and brought her a book.
"I know, but you only turn nine once. Besides, I like to spend money." Lizzie teased.
"You don't have to. It's okay." Via quickly shot her down, nerves playing up again like quick pulses of electricity in her belly.
"I want too. Will you let me?" Lizzie asked, shocking both of them when she reaches forward and grabs Via's hands in here.
"O-Only if you're sure." Via squeaks, eyes wide, looking for any indication that Lizzie is playing her right now.
"I want to." Lizzie smiles softly, and Via just nods, all conversation dwindling away. Lizzie cleans up the bagel bags, and pushes To Kill A Mockingbird toward Via.
The little girl grabs it eagerly, and dives in without hesitation, more then accepting of the distraction that will keep her and Lizzie in comfortable silence for at least a few minutes. Neither girl notices how the other stops reading to look across the table and admire the other, only to bashfully look back down at their book when fear crept down their back thinking they'd be caught. This went on for an hour, why looks trader back and forth, until Lizzie actually did get caught.
Via tilted her head to the side, a cute frown on her face as she inspected Lizzie looking at her. Lizzie grinned, albeit bashfully at the prospect of being caught, but grinned nonetheless.
"Sorry." She giggled a little, not really knowing how to explain to Via that she was trying to ground herself. The anxiety she's been feeling for days has become a stampede in her belly, thoughts racing about how she's doing so much wrong in this situation. But, what would the average person do in this situation? How does anybody handle this? "Oh, I forgot to give you the pen!" Lizzie remembered, digging through her crossbody bag before stumbling upon an old Elizabeth and James pen that she'd swiped from her sisters work desk a few years ago.
"You won't mind the writing?" Via double-checks, to which Lizzie just shakes her head with a kind smile.
"Don't mind at all. This is why I love paperback books. The writing in the margins, highlighting sentences that caught your eye, color coding tabs in the sides for specific elements. It's why I buy the physical copy more than I use my kindle." Lizzie grabs another pen, sticking it between the pages she's left off at, and closes the book paying Via more attention. "What other books have you read?"
"Oh, the list is long. Before I Fall, Paper Towns, The Fault In Our Stars. I really liked Number The Stars when I read it for a school project. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle." Via names a few, some a bit more age appropriate while others continue to fall into a category of maturity Lizzie wishes she never had to find so early. "I've read at lot more but those are some of my favorites."
"Most of those are at a super high reading level." Lizzie comments, a wide smile on her lips, hoping that Via doesn't take her comment the wrong way.
"Readings my favorite. Alan says I'm a couple grades ahead in my schoolwork, though. I'm not sure what grade I'm really in. What grade are nine year olds in?" Via questions. It's the first question she's ever really asked Lizzie that wasn't just mimicked reassurance, and the brunette can't help but feel like they're finally getting somewhere.
"Usually third or fourth."
Via hums, thinking about her school work. "I think I'm higher than that. I dunno, Alan has me do a lot of work at a time, so, I kind of loose track on where I'm at."
"Do you like school?" Lizzie asks, trying not to overthink the last comment about the overload of work. That's stressful for anyone, let alone a child, but kids exaggerate the truth, and if Via doesn't like school, 'a lot of work' could very easily just mean the correct amount. Though, Lizzie has a feeling that's not something Via would do.
"Um, I used too. It's okay, I guess. I'm just not very good at my geography class, because we needed our own map and Alan ripped mine up." Via averted her eyes, suddenly ashamed of how much she'd just let Lizzie know. For so long she'd prided herself on leaving Alan out of her life when it came to new people, but somehow Lizzie was getting it all out of her.
"He ripped up your map?" Lizzie frowned, growing increasingly concerned.
"It's okay! He didn't mean to. I shouldn't have left it on the table, I know that everything's supposed to go back in my folder when I'm not using it." Via scrambled to reassure the older woman, looking nervous now.
"So how do you do your geography work now?" Lizzie asks, genuinely curious.
"Well, I guess I just wing it? Some of its in the textbook, sometimes I sneak out to the library and use the computer." She says shyly, unsure of what Lizzie's reaction will be. Lizzie just nods, but makes a mental note to add a map the the birthday present she'll give Via tomorrow. Only problem is, she doesn't even know where you'd look to purchase a map.
"Geography wasn't my favorite either, I preferred math." Lizzie shared, "For a while, I thought I was gonna become an accountant."
Via grimaces, shaking her head at the thought of spending an entire day doing math and money related tasks. She'd rather be somewhere nose deep in a book, getting lost in the imagination of it all.
Lizzie giggles, mimicking Via's nose scrunch, shrugging her shoulders up to her ears, "Yeah, I'm not to fond of that near life decision either. I'm very content with acting. Do you have any idea what you wanna do in life? It's still early, but I remember when I was your age I was so set on being an actress."
"I just wanna read books forever and ever." Via says innocently, a gleam overcoming her gloomy eyes. The essence of childhood that engulfed Via's frame possessed Lizzie, a rarity for the otherwise gentle and composed girl.
"Now that, sounds like a wonderful idea. Let me know how that goes for you because I want in." Lizzie giggled, and Via did too. Both girls settling into comfort again.
"Lizzie?" Via questions shyly, kicking her legs back and forth, grounding herself in the feeling of heels hitting metal. When Lizzie hums her listening, Via continues, "Thank you for eating with me."
Lizzie just smiles, and hopes that her expression is enough for Via to understand without words that she cannot even fathom to formulate.