A.F
Nathanael and I met in a small, quiet café for a coffee in the South of Munich. As I walked in, he stood up and smiled toward me as I made my way to him. He pulled me in for a small hug, his cologne staining the air. His harsh shoulders pulling away from mine as he pulled back a chair for me to sit on.
Conversation flowed naturally, everything felt so comfortable and calm with him. Nathanael was an extremely good conversationalist, always able to make the chat go on and on. We talked for a long time, ordering 2 lots of coffee each.
'so you've just got back from Italy, right?'
'yes actually. We, my friends and I, all spent 2 weeks there.'
'oh nice nice. which friends?'
'just Pierre, Charles and Kera' his eyes opening as I mentioned Kera's name and a smile emerged across his face.
'Kera Hughes, the gymnast?'
I nodded.
'Didn't she just fall flat on her face on an easy move' he laughs and scoffs before reaching for his cup of coffee again, hiding his laughing mouth behind it.
'uhm, yes she did.'
'Gosh. I saw the video, it was so funny.'
'ha.. yea i guess it was really.' I laugh.
He continued talked for a while, every word he said i clung onto- fascinated by what he was talking about. He spoke about his work, his friends, different models and so much more. It was intriguing. His accent was different, it sounded like a mixture between mine and an Italian accent. I listened intently and hung onto every word he said.
He very kindly paid for our coffees and as we were leaving, handed a familiar sunglasses case back to me, his hand much larger than mine. I took them and thanked him once again for his generosity. It would've been so easy to have taken the sunglasses, considering they were of a designer brand, however he reached out to give them back to me. He drove me back to my house and gave me a tight hug as he left. I watched him drive off through the front window, like a little kid.
@angiefosterofficial added to her story
I laid on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and counting down the hours until I could call Kera and tell her everything. I thought about how his emerald eyes met mine and made my stomach twist into a knot, I recall how his sharp jawline softened as he smiled when I talked about him, and how his eyes lit up when he was laughing about Kera's fall.
I was surprised that he knew Kera, though she's a famous gymnast not many people would know her unless your a follower of gymnastics or know of her achievements. He talked of her for a while, asking what she was like and how I knew her. He spoke of his best friend, Ruby. His eyes glistened as he recalled all the fun they'd spent on holiday together and how he'd known her since they were teenagers.
I text Pierre, letting him know that I had not in fact been kidnapped and that it went extremely well, to which he seemed happy about. I briefly explained what we talked about but after that his messages got dry and less frequent- often leaving me on read for several minutes before answering again.
Simultaneously, i receive a text from Nathanael, a text back after a meet-up, this means something i swear? I squeal in excitement, wishing that Kera was here with me right now.
Nathanael asks how I am and says that he enjoyed today, which puts a smile on my face instantly. He then asks what I'm up to and I tell him I was texting Pierre. To which he didn't reply to for a while, a sinking feel takes over my stomach.
he's on your instagram a lot. must be a very close friend. 🤷♂️
I stare at the text, contemplating in which way I should take that. Did i get his text in the way he intended? I did a double take and replied that he's a great friend, hoping he would take the hint at friend. I hoped this wouldn't complicate things as he was a really nice guy and i really hoped this would work.
I got left on seen.
I felt all the happiness and excitement work it's way out of me, sinking into a pool of sorrow and pity onto the floor. I felt drained, but confused. Also angry with myself- why was I getting hung up over this? This is nothing to me and I should never have allowed it to get to this point, clinging onto it.
I decided I wasn't going to let this get me down and decided to play some music on my alexa. The music was cranked up to almost full volume, luckily my neighbours weren't home so I had no fear of them coming anytime soon to complain.
I grabbed a RedBull out of the fridge and downed it essentially. The music began to inject itself into my bloodstream, causing my head and body to dance around the music. My thoughts were a blur but the music was clear. I felt my body swaying and spinning around the room, but not fully in control of my movements. My hair bounced off my shoulders and swung behind me as a danced my way through the living room. The sun was beginning to slowly fall behind the curtain, to which I dramatically wrapped myself around to really put the emphasis on the tragedy that was happening in my life. The RedBull soon made me feel as though I was drifting on a cloud, with no real escape or demand for expectations.
Suddenly everything I was feeling was stopped: paused. Life was on a pause.. or as Ross would say 'a break'. I make my way to the floor as I can no longer stand due to the funny joke i made inside my head. The floor was very comfortable so I remained lying on it, continuing to giggle my way through 3 more songs before making my way to the kitchen once again. My hands are shaking as I reach for another can of RedBull. My eyes now begin to sting with tears that have been held back for the last half an hour. The burning sensation of anger only makes me want to forget and move on from tonight more, I want to be anywhere but here. I need to be somewhere else but I have no one around. I find myself calling Charles seen as Pierre is already moody with me for whatever reason.
charles
hello??
angie
heyy charles
you okay angie? what's up?
men are stupid
oh? what's one done now?
just a jerk. you better treat kera right because ur children would be cute.
what?? angie what are you on about? are you ok??
im fiiine gosh stop asking me that. and i just mean that you two would be good for eachother!!!
what makes you say that then?
the way you look at her. DUHH.
she's a friend angie.
awww why is love never real this sucks. i hate everything. now even pierre hates me too.
wait why does pierre hate u?
well he's ignoring me after i went out with a guy and i told him about it. i just told him that we talked about him and his life and about kera's fall and how he found it funny.
funny? he found that funny?
i mean yeah it kind of was.
i don't know what to say to you right now angelina.
angelina??
you know how much that meant to her.
*call has ended*
I groan and throw my head back, half unaware of what just happened. Why did he hang up on me? It's so dramatic, i'm in need and he can't be bothered to help me. It's clear he only cares about Pierre and Kera. I swipe on my phone and open up instagram and begin to post photos that I'd taken earlier. I'm unsure why. Normally my media manager posts on my behalf but this one is up to me. I want them to see that I have my problems too and that I will not go unseen.
@angiefosterofficial
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@angiefosterofficial it's ok ill dance myself.
@nathanael_otto 😍😍
@kerahughes what's up buttercup?
@user1 did she fight with someone
@user2 not that i know off.
@user3 i'll dance with u anyday
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Looking back, was I thinking rationally? no.
Did I have 3 cans of RedBull racing through my body? Yes.