Alyssa had never had so many people touch her without her permission than she did at the feast. Apparently, pregnancy meant that the nobility were free to touch Alyssa's belly when they pleased.
She hated that. And she also hated the fact that some people, men, mostly, treated her like a vessel. Something only carrying the future heir. That it became her only purpose, her only worth.
How was the babe? It was definitely going to be a boy, another king, of course. Any women who were worthwhile delivered boys first. Then they'd turn and talk to Jace and leave Alyssa out of the conversation completely.
The feast wasn't exactly enjoyable. Because while those particular men might've been few and far between, it stuck with Alyssa. Needled at the edge of her mind. It also reignited that fear in Alyssa. After the feast, when she was supposed to be resting, that was all she could think about. Laena. The terror of that night when she died.
She had no control over it. Her body simply would not get the baby out. It happened.
Alyssa's namesake died after labouring. Her late aunt the same. She was surrounded by women who died during labour and she was heading for that same experience terrified it would happen to her too. Alyssa was unbothered by a lot of things but not that.
There was a period after they returned that Alyssa stayed in her chambers for many days. She left for meals, for important things, but tucked herself away otherwise. Alyssa hasn't even been out to greet her dragon and that was unusual.
Then she didn't have to deal with everything. The looks and the comments and the touching. It was hard to digest being pregnant for the first time and not being able to gradually adjust.
Jace knew something was wrong but he couldn't get Alyssa to tell him what. She didn't want him to know she was afraid. He theorized that it was fear but Alyssa wouldn't tell him; she insisted she was just tired.
Daemon was the only one Alyssa trusted enough, the only one who knew how truly terrified Alyssa was. He knew the night Laena died was still present in her mind. She was old enough to remember it all.
She had that same fear Rhaenyra had. Both before she was pregnant and during her first.
He went to Alyssa determined to rid her of the fear that kept her in her chambers. She didn't deserve to forsake the best parts of her life because she was afraid of the outcome.
"Your sisters are starting to get worried," he said as soon as he walked in, looking at Alyssa, who was reading at her desk. "As is your husband. And your father."
"I'm supposed to be resting," Alyssa excused, avoiding eye contact with her father at first.
It was only a look Daemon gave her. He knew her far better than that.
Alyssa sighed and sat back. Daemon pulled a seat up to sit across from her, opening himself to listen to her plight.
"Resting does not mean avoiding the people that care for you."
She bit her cheek and closed her eyes, a hand absentmindedly resting on the child growing within her.
"I'm frightened."
It was two simple words. But the whole reason Alyssa was acting the way she was. Fear.
Daemon knew he would never truly know fear like that. He could be fearful for Alyssa, for the mother. But he would never be the one having to go through it, afraid she would die with no choice in the matter.
Especially carrying the future heir. Everyone was likely to care more for the baby than Alyssa's life if something went wrong. She was just afraid of it all.
Not even the hurt. Simply the fear of death and not having a choice. Afraid of being cut open against her will and left to die like she hadn't really mattered at all.
"It is not wrong to be afraid. All of it is scary. Especially for the first time," Daemon said at first, reaching forward to take Alyssa's hands. "I have been afraid every time a child of mine has been making their way into this world. And I was not the one tasked with delivering them."
Even just hearing him tell her that it was okay to feel afraid made Alyssa relax a little bit. She was rigid with the belief that she was just supposed to accept it all and feel normal. Like the snobby noble women in court who talked about how easy it was for them, they any woman who didn't think the same must have been quite the sinner.
"But fear will only hinder you in the coming weeks. You were born without issue from your mother in the Vale. Raised by some of the strongest women I've ever known. You are strong," Daemon assured, reminding Alyssa of who she'd grown up around. Being fearful would make everything harder.
Whatever was to happen would happen regardless of her fears. It was better not to dwell on the catastrophic outcomes and instead focus on the positive ones. Even if it was hard, it would make everything easier.
"You have already fought battles, little dragon. This one will be no different. Besides, you've won every battle you've fought," he reminded with a little smile.
Part of her knew all of that. But it still helped to hear it. That she would be well cared for, that she was strong, and that she could be afraid while still acknowledging those facts.
Alyssa hugged her father tightly. She needed that comfort, the words, to feel more secure in herself as she progressed. And she also needed to tell Jace her fears. It would help, he would. She was being silly by keeping it from him.
Although Daemon gave her those words and assured her, he was honestly terrified. It might've been the most afraid he had been in his life; it all had to do with births. He lost his mother to it, his wife, and almost Rhaenyra.
He could not lose his daughter too. And he hoped those words had done more for her than they had for him.
***
After speaking with Daemon, Alyssa did tell Jace that she was afraid. Of having no choice, of being treated only like a vessel. She really had been silly to keep it from him. Because immediately he was working to assure her that wouldn't happen. That he wouldn't let it happen. He cared for her, he would always choose Alyssa. She was his priority.
And that was when Jace encouraged Alyssa to also speak with Rhaenyra. Entering the last third of her pregnancy, things were beginning to come together for the actual birth. Maesters had poured over the moon charts to predict when Alyssa would deliver. They encouraged hosting a massive Tourney and feasts to celebrate the child that week.
Rhaenyra said no. Not until the baby was actually born and healthy. She would not do that to Alyssa when there was any number of things that could go wrong. Rhaenyra would not have people celebrating while Alyssa laboured. There wouldn't be cheering if there were potential complications. Not like her own mother.
As well, Rhaenyra gave Alyssa a bit of wisdom about it all. Set Alyssa up with her own midwife, who she said was very good, and encouraged one rule. No maesters unless absolutely necessary. They were great for every other aspect of medicine. But not the birthing process. Not unless there was some extreme complication.
They always tended to make things more complicated. Wanted to rush things along, claim it was taking too long or the mother wasn't progressing how they wished. Oftentimes, they created a more stressful and traumatizing experience. Midwives and ladies were much easier. Much cleaner, and more empathetic. They cared more for the mother herself than getting the baby out as fast as possible.
Alyssa was in complete agreement about that. And it made her feel much better. Knowing she would have the assistance of the woman who helped Rhaenyra have her five children.
Entering her third trimester, Alyssa was calmer about the experience. But that calm would only be rewarded with much difficulty. To her dismay, Alyssa's last two and a half months were filled with discomfort and general pain. She couldn't do anything without becoming overly tired afterward.
It was extremely frustrating. Especially since she could hardly breathe with her baby so high up. To Alyssa, it seemed like her pregnancy symptoms were just general discomfort. Nausea came back in full force for a few weeks and she was miserable. Hardly able to eat anything without it making that symptom much worse.
Add that the baby was moving much more frequently and intensely, Alyssa could do little more than rest. Especially with the practice labour pains. As if the real thing wasn't enough.
Jace felt just a little bit useless seeing how hard the last three months were on Alyssa. Unable to sleep, in pain and unable to do much without tiring.
He doted on her. Giving her anything she asked for, rubbing her back when it hurt, staying awake with her when he could, and spending much time talking to their child. Asking the babe to be kind to Alyssa. Everything just seemed exacerbated in those final months, especially the final weeks. The only exciting thing was talking about names together.
"If it's a girl, I want to name her Aemma," Jace requested, glancing at Alyssa.
His late grandmother, her late aunt. Rhaenyra's mother that was killed in the pursuit of a male heir. It felt only right that if his heir was a girl, she was named after the woman who allowed Rhaenyra to keep her place.
Alyssa agreed with that. Though she wanted to honour Laena, she felt the name should be left for Rhaena and Baela. She didn't wish to do what Rhaenyra and Daemon did by having children named the same thing.
However...
"If it's a boy, I'd like to name him Daemon." On the other side, a grandparent and a grandchild named the same thing wasn't much of a problem. Jace knew how important Alyssa's father was to her. And despite Daemon's youth and reputation, he was a strong King consort and a good father. So he agreed and they had their names chosen.
By then, Alyssa felt massive and wasn't doing much of anything. Sitting around and waiting to have her child. That was the extent of her days.
The only highlight that far along was supposed to be when the baby dropped lower. But hers didn't move much and Alyssa was perturbed. Grouchy in the final weeks. No one could blame her with how uncomfortable it had been. Especially getting hardly any sleep.
And then she was simply waiting. When the maesters predicted she would have her child, she was waiting, trying to distinguish if the pain was true labour or just the aches and pains of being that pregnant.
Alyssa had imagined it happening during the day. When she was nice and comfortable and in the birthing chambers. But no.
Just pains. Irregular pains that she could breathe and talk through. Not worse than the pains during Alyssa's course. She was new at it all and didn't want to seem dramatic. Alyssa left it be through the hours of the afternoon, wincing here and there. But she still got ready for bed with Jace and tried to sleep.
And she did get some sleep. Until she was awoken in the middle of the night by the pain. In her back, in her abdomen. And once she was awake and aware, it seemed to get worse.
No longer could she talk through that pain. She had to stop and breathe through it, groaning low in her chest. She was going to wake Jace. Alyssa still wasn't really sure, she didn't want to disturb him if she didn't have to.
Getting out of bed, which was a bit of a task itself, Alyssa went to the bathroom to suffer. She was debating with herself in her own mind as she swayed, holding onto the counter. Was it real? Or was it just more strange aches and pains?
It was the middle of the night for fuck's sake. Did she really have to wake everybody? And what if she woke them all for nothing?
Another wave of pain had Alyssa questioning her decision. But she'd always been stubborn.
Very stubborn.
She didn't know how long she groaned and breathed and swayed in the bathroom, the pain intermittently getting worse. Before it happened. Alyssa had been told about it. What it would feel like, could feel like. A very strange sensation, very unpleasant. Very messy.
But she'd also been told that it was a very clear sign she was in labour. Alyssa was a bit shocked, looking down at herself. But then the pain was immediately worse and Alyssa couldn't help but express the surprise and pain she was feeling.
"Fuck," she cursed, pushing on the counter to try and force the pain away.
That was finally what woke Jace. Hearing her curse, feeling on her side and hand coming away empty.
"Alyssa?" Jace called, wiping his face to force himself to wake up. She couldn't quite reply, not while she was trying to breathe.
He could hear her, though, and quickly got out of bed. Jace pushed into the bathroom after knocking and found Alyssa where she stood.
In pain, swaying back and forth.
"Are you alright?" Jace asked, sticking himself to Alyssa's side. She held up her hand, needing a moment before she exhaled and relaxed.
"Happening," she said between breaths, rubbing a hand over her belly. "Send for the midwife."
Jace's half-asleep brain almost asked Alyssa if she was sure. But with one look at her, at the floor, the panic set in.
She was having their baby.
He nodded immediately and took her arm, helping her back into the main room and then into the birthing chambers; a place set up specifically to care for Alyssa and their baby once it was born.
As soon as Jace tried to sit Alyssa on the bed she shook her head and grabbed the bedpost. Sitting made it worse. Jace didn't argue, kissing her cheek as he quickly made for the door.
It was dark in their chambers, the maids would have to light the candles again. There was light in the hallway, at least. Jace was thankful for that when he pulled open the door.
Their sworn shield seemed startled when Jace opened the door suddenly.
"My prince...?" He said, bowing his head and waiting for what he needed.
"Wake the midwife; the princess has begun her labour. And have someone inform the Queen; she requested to know as soon as it started," Jace ordered, still trying to get his mind in working order.
The knight kept his composure and again bowed to Jace. "It will be done at once, my prince."
With that settled, Jace returned to Alyssa and asked her what she needed from him. Jace had always vowed, after seeing Rhaenyra alone, that he would never do that to Alyssa.
"Light," she said, voice strained as she sat and tried to continue breathing.
He was very eager to please her, to assist her in any way he could. Jace got the matches and lit as many candles as he could, providing light to Alyssa.
And then he took his place at her side. Rubbing her shoulders and back for her, taking his hand away when she couldn't handle being touched, pacing as they waited.
Everything would be fine. He knew it.
***
A strange awakening for the Queen. When her Queensgaurd knocked loudly on the door, trying to wake the Queen before entering. It did wake her from her slumber. Daemon was still fast asleep beside her but Rhaenyra realized someone was knocking on the door in the middle of the night.
"Enter," she called, knowing it was important if it was that late. She rubbed her eyes and got out of bed to appear a bit more modest.
With her permission, the knight pushed into the rooms and bowed. "Apologies for waking you, Your Grace. However, I've just been informed that the princess has started her labours."
Rhaenyra remembered she had asked to know as soon as it started. And that included in the middle of the night.
She felt her heart speed a little bit, some excitement bubbling up inside. Also worry, however.
But Alyssa was in good hands. Jace would be there, her midwife would be there. And perhaps a bit of prayer would do her well.
"Thank you, Ser Steffon," Rhaenyra said as Daemon stirred. "Let us all pray for the health and safety of the princess and her child."
As Steffon bowed and ducked out of the room, Daemon finally turned over after hearing "princess".
"What?" He said tiredly, looking up at Rhaenyra as she sat back on the bed.
"Your daughter is in labour."
That woke him up in about one second. He sat up in bed and acted as if he could do anything to help her. Help the labour progress and keep her safe.
"It's just started," Rhaenyra said, calming him. "She has Jace and my midwife. Let us pray and we will hear news soon."