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Hyungwon stood in front of his office, hands trembling as he reached for the doorknob. The large doors hadn't looked this intimidating in a long while. Every inch of his bones begged for him to turn and hide out in a room, probably a broom closet if he was unlucky, somewhere but the rational part of him knew that it wasn't a solution.
So, after minutes of terror-filled hesitation, he finally turned the knob and opened the door revealing the familiar space. Jooheon's head immediately shot in the door's direction and he was out of the leader's chair before Hyungwon could even properly shut the door behind himself.
The soft thud of the office door closing badly echoed in the room as arms wrapped around him immediately in a tight hug causing the tall man to freeze momentarily. He then just accepted the warm embrace, petting the younger on the back before pushing him off carefully. He didn't get that much personal space as the other started immediately inspecting him for injuries, eventually grabbing one of his bandaged hands.
"What happened?" Jooheon spoke first, looking up at his face likely inspecting it for any sign of lies that he might spill. The leader sucked in his lips and pulled his hand out of the other's grasp, moving it to his shoulder. "I recommend you sit down," he spoke softly yet twistedly professionally, giving the clothed shoulder a firm squeeze.
Next, Hyungwon moved past the man over to the couch he'd spent many sleepless nights on. "Hyung?" Jooheon's voice came from behind him and before he could sit down or reply anything, the other grabbed his wrist. The leader stopped moving, closing his eyes momentarily before shaking his head and turning back to face the younger.
"I'm sorry." the apology fell out from his mouth like water from a faucet, the words barely audible coming out of his mouth. Hyungwon dropped his gaze to the floor, feeling the grasp around his wrist loosen. "Why? What happened? Where's Changkyun?" The other's voice now sounded much more desperate than seconds ago. The man tugged on Hyungwon's arm next when he didn't speak up.
Admitting to the truth still hurt so bad. He didn't want to say it but he knew he had to admit to it. "I couldn't save him." He slowly looked up at the man before him, expecting an angry and disapproving look from him. After all, he'd let everyone down as a leader, hadn't he? He couldn't help a member of the team.
He had let Changkyun die.
A heavy weight lay on Hyungwon's shoulders as silence lingered in the office. He could see Jooheon's eyes glossed over with tears and he dropped his head, one hand still gripping the leader while the free one rose to wipe away his tears. Hyungwon swallowed deeply, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He'd had his chance to cry. Now he would have to stay calm.
"You're kidding? Please tell me this is some twisted joke you two are pulling." Jooheon whispered, but Hyungwon just let out a quiet apology again, afraid his voice would crack if he spoke any louder. "Hyungwon please." The other pleaded, fingernails now digging into the bandage around the leader's palm. But it didn't matter; nothing could hurt as much.
When he didn't reply, the truth likely finally dawned on Jooheon; slapping him in the face with the harsh reality of their world. "How?" The question was a punch to the gut for the leader, the imagery from the Im residence immediately blasting into his mind. Suddenly he felt sick again. His hands trembled as he shook his head, refusing to answer.
"It was Son. Or one of his men, I don't care." He avoided the question shaking his head and clearing his throat a little bit trying desperately to get rid of the lump stuck there. Jooheon glanced at him, eyes hardening at the mention of the enemy. "Those fuckers. We have to.." "I have it handled." Hyungwon interrupted sharply, raising his hand. "I hope." he then added quickly nodding his head, looking away.
It wasn't completely untrue, he did have the police force looking for Ilsang and whoever had been with him at the residence. It wasn't a rock-solid plan, considering that the only evidence they had was just some CCTV footage but it would be enough to give them time to regroup and plan ahead just so they can avoid even more casualties.
Death was inevitable in this fight, but if they could just reduce the death total by a few people, he'd be more than happy.
"Can you tell me one thing, Hyung?" Jooheon requested quietly and Hyungwon shrugged his shoulders a little bit. He didn't know how much he wanted to share of the events. Eventually, he just nodded. "He wasn't... He didn't go alone, right? You found Kyun before..." The man slowly trailed off, trying to maintain eye contact whilst Hyungwon was doing his damn finest in order to eradicate it.
"No. I was there as long as I could. I couldn't go in the operation room but I was there." Hyungwon replied truthfully, drawing in a deep breath. He heard the other whisper a quiet "thank god" before nodding his head.
Another moment of silence fell upon the two men and Hyungwon was running through the timeline of events. All the moments where he could have done something different. He should have grabbed medical supplies from the glove compartment of the car before dashing out. Maybe that could've helped save the youngest of them. Maybe he should have taken a different, faster route to the residence.
Maybe then Changkyun would be alive and not lying in a cold morgue.
"Hey," Jooheon called out for him, placing both hands on his shoulders. The action brought Hyungwon back to the present, meeting the other's glossed-over eyes. "We'll be fine." the attempt at trying to lighten up the mood was pathetic, but Hyungwon would never say that out loud to the other, so he just nodded his head. "I know we will," he replied, unsure but he left that unmentioned.
He knew the group would be okay. While they lost a higher-up, no assets were lost other than what weapons and gadgets had been on Changkyun. They could still fight decently, even while mourning. But Jooheon? He'd lost a man who was practically his younger brother. A man who knew what to do in almost any situation and acted way older than he was since day one.
Then again, Hyungwon didn't know about himself.
Sure, he could pretend he was fine and most people wouldn't even realize that he was a mess. He'd learned to hide any conflicting feelings over the years, the older folk in the group didn't take lightly to cry-babies; imagine the shit storm when their leader is incapable of keeping himself in check. Even so, it was hard to admit that what he'd witnessed was probably the most if not one of the most haunting things he'd ever seen. Maybe it was just the fact that it was Changkyun. Who he'd been close to since they were kids, just like Jooheon.
He knew it would take weeks, if not months, to erase the image from his mind. Maybe a lifetime to try and stop it from coming back up when he tries to rest.
Hyungwon licked his lips a little bit, brushing a hand through Jooheon's hair gently. "You should go to bed. It's been a long day," he said, sighing a little bit. "Get Minhyuk and just, cuddle him to death, I don't know." Jooheon eyed him a little, taking a step back as if analyzing him. What? Did he say something wrong?
"You're not mad at him?" He asked and the older fell quiet immediately. He swallowed a bit, thinking through his words just trying to keep it civil for now. "I will have to assess the situation tomorrow. Get all the recordings we have and possible bodycam footage to see how everything actually played out," he explained, picking at his cuticles before huffing and slumping his shoulders in defeat. "Right now... I don't have the energy to be angry at anybody. I want to just... Crash."
"Right. I'll get all that stuff you mentioned to you tomorrow when I can. You try to sleep too, okay? I'm only a call away." Jooheon patted the taller man on his shoulder with a weak smile before walking past him toward the door. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Chae. I know you'll torture yourself over this, but don't. I need you now more than ever."
And with that, the door opened and quickly closed. Hyungwon couldn't deny anything the other said so he just opted to stay quiet, giving a weak hum of acknowledgment. He stared at the wooden door for a moment, hearing a loud thud coming from outside that was followed by a flow of muffled sobs.
Hyungwon pressed his face into his hands with a heavy sigh, moving to sit on the couch. He knew the younger had acted like he took the news somewhat well. And he could do nothing to help other than to give the man space. Had they been younger, maybe he would have robbed Minhyuk of his place next to Jooheon for the night but he couldn't. He wouldn't help at all by keeping the man up all night because of his sleep-related problems.
He fall on his side, head hitting the cold pillow that had seen better days. Hyungwon slowly crossed his arms, fighting how his eyes threatened to fall shut. The adrenaline had finally faded exhaustion from the day's events catching up to him. Even if his sleep wouldn't last long, he couldn't fight it.
A hand landed on Hyungwon's shoulder, snapping him harshly from his slumber. His hand shot to the gun safely tucked away at his waist and when his fingers curled around the handle, he pulled it out aiming it at the intruder, and sat up. Cold shivers ran through his whole body as he took the safety off of the pistol.
Hyungwon's eyes eventually focused on what was before him. "Wonho?" he croaked out, weapon still pointed at the man before him. He couldn't put it down but he didn't need to as the older pulled the gun out of his hand, setting it down on the floor. "Sorry. My bad." The older spoke calmly, straightening himself. "You were tossing like crazy and I couldn't just sit and watch."
Hyungwon lowered his hand, hands curling into tight fists. "I would have snapped out of it eventually," he whispered, shaking his head a little bit before glancing toward the clock in the office. "How long was I out?" he changed the topic, smoothing out his hair a little bit. Couldn't have been that long. "I just came in and I was talking with Yoo for like an hour," Wonho explained, giving him a small pat on the shoulder before sitting down on the couch too.
Hyungwon instinctively moved toward the other end of the couch, putting more than enough distance between the two of them. "How did Jooheon react?" Hyungwon glanced at the older shortly before shaking his head. "Pretended to be mostly fine but I know he's devastated," he replied shortly. He wasn't exactly in a talking mood.
"And you?"
Hyungwon chuckled at the question, leaning back into the couch cushions. They weren't that soft but it was fine. "What is this? Therapy? I'm fine, Shin. I just need to take my sleeping pills and I'll sleep through the night without bothering you." he explained before crossing his arms. He wasn't a fan of popping pills but he really had no choice if he wanted to function.
"Sorry to pry, but are your nightmares that bad?" Wonho, or Hoseok as Hyungwon had newly discovered, asked then, sounding genuinely concerned over the topic. Hyungwon didn't want to get used to calling Shin by his real name, though, as he would eventually slip when talking to him on the field. "I mean I get nightmares about what happened to me, but they are a rarity nowadays." The older continued soon after his question.
"Bad? That's putting it lightly. I've gone days without sleeping a wink because just closing my eyes is enough to have everything flash in my mind." Hyungwon mumbled, a little ashamed. He should be past nightmares. Or maybe it would be more logical to call them night terrors now, but who cared?
"What happened to you?" He turned to the man next to him, furrowing his eyebrows a little bit. "Why?" he answered with a question. Maybe he was still a bit too skeptical about the other man possibly using this against him, but it wasn't a story he often shared in general.
"You tell me, and I'll tell you what happened to me and what I forbid you from seeing in Shownu's files." Wonho immediately bargained, a smirk rising onto his curled lips. He knew that Hyungwon knew that it was an opportunity he couldn't possibly give up. The younger let out a deep sigh through his nose, relaxing a little bit.
"When I was ten I woke up to a man holding a shotgun to my head. I vividly remember looking up at the barrel of the gun and the blast of it going off and the flash... It hit the pillow next to my head, obviously by accident and he was about to shoot again when my father busted in." Hyungwon took a small break, turning his head to look at the wall. It had been so long since that night yet it was almost picture clear in his mind. "I went deaf for a little while because of it and I was horrified. I could only see what was going on and I could see him talk but couldn't hear anything. Whoever attacked us had done a number on my father, too," He explained, returning his gaze to Wonho.
Hyungwon would be lying if he said he hadn't tried a lot to try and rid of the memory. Meditation, multiple kinds of therapy, almost reliving it frame by frame by chance when he was in his mid-twenties. That last one helped the least if he was to be completely honest, even though he busted the bastard's head open by himself that time.
"It must have been what my father was warned about in that letter. He had put up more security and everything, yet..." He trailed off with a deep breath. "I don't think he ever forgave himself." his father barely left his side for the next few years and when he was a child, he was thankful for it. He couldn't bare a minute by himself.
"That's... Horrible, I'm so sorry." Wonho blurted out, almost grabbing the younger's hand but before he could Hyungwon moved his own away. "Do you know who coordinated the attack?" Hyungwon glanced at him, furrowing his eyebrows once more. Wasn't it obvious?
"It... My father eventually, years after it had happened, told me that it was set in place by your men in disguise. Was... Was it not?" He asked glancing over at his desk. Now he suddenly wanted to dive back into the notes, every bit of drowsiness gone in the wind. "No. I would have found out, I swear. My father said that the attack on us was coordinated by your men but... Why would he have warned about it, then?"
Hyungwon rubbed his face a little bit, utterly confused. He then raised his hand, pointing his finger at the other man. had this been Changkyun he would've asked the other to be a rubber duck, but maybe that was inappropriate to do to the older. Considering their whole equality thing. "This is a crazy idea, but what if our fathers tried to fix the rift between our families? But something came up that screwed everything up," he suggested and tilted his head a little bit.
"I mean, sure, Hyunwoo hinted at that being the case too. But I know for a fact our grandparents would have shunned them both. My grandfather was a disgusting person." Wonho argued back and shook his head. That was also true. Hyungwon's grandmother had the lead before his dad and that woman always made him uneasy when it came to business. "More reasonable though, maybe they had a similar situation to now and saw a way to fight it by trying to work together?"
"History repeats itself, doesn't it?" Wonho then added, giving the younger a small shove. Hyungwon nodded his head a little bit at that, brushing his hand over the part of his arm the other decided to push. "My head hurts a little. This is a mess," he let out, scratching at his head.
"I should ask Mr. Yoo. He was one of my dad's closest men back then." Hyungwon snapped his fingers, earning an approving hum from Wonho. "Wait. Mr. Yoo? As in Kihyun's dad?" Hyungwon's eyes widened at the question a little bit. He forgot about that factor completely. Kihyun's past involvement with them. How long was it since he turned on them? "Yes, him. He has retired to desk work, though."
Wonho stayed quiet for a moment, nodding his head. "Anyway. Let's get back to this in the morning. I have to admit I am very tired." The older stated before standing up from his spot on the couch. "Do you need anything?"
Hyungwon huffed a little bit and stood up himself. He walked past the shorter man to his desk. "I'll be fine for tonight. We have a lot of work tomorrow," he muttered, pulling open a drawer on his desk. He took out a bottle of pills with an exhausted sigh. "I forgot to ask. Did you tell your guys about Changkyun?"
"Yeah. Kihyun took it fine but Min... He blames himself." Wonho replied, moving over to his air mattress to fill it up a little bit. The loud noise filled the office. Hyungwon was so glad the older hadn't once woken him up in the middle of the night while doing that. Yet. "I know I was harsh on him earlier. It was uncalled for." Hyungwon said honestly. He would have to apologize to the older for screaming at him for no good reason. Yes, he was stressed but all the blame can not be put on him. Or, that's what his gut says. The recordings might change his opinion later on.
"Well. At least Minhyuk has Jooheon and vice versa. They are good for each other." Hyungwon then muttered, opening the yellow-tinted bottle in his hand and pouring one of the pills onto his palm. "Wow. A few days and you are already softening to the idea of them dating." Wonho teased him making the younger glare at him sharply. "I am not happy about it, but who am I to separate them? If they truly like each other they will keep going behind our backs."
"And when our deal ends?" Wonho shot next. Hyungwon took out the next pill bottle, some kind of anxiety medication Changkyun had prescribed him in all his unprofessionalism. He placed one of those too on his palm before throwing the two pills in his mouth with a grimace. Maybe he should consider keeping a water bottle in his office. "It's... A problem for future me and you," he replied, closing the drawer before walking back over to the couch.
He sat down, glancing over at the older. "Unless you want to tell them to break it off. I would not mind that either," he replied, leaning on the backrest of the couch. Wonho gave him a look that said more than words ever could. "Oh hell no. I might be older but that guy won't take orders from me concerning his personal life." Hyungwon swallowed a chuckle but nodded his head slightly.
"If you wake up again or need anything, wake me up. I know we aren't anywhere near close to being friends but you're in a place mentally where solitary isn't good." Wonho stated, settling down on the mattress. Hyungwon was surprised he wasn't more bothered by the plastic creaking under the other's body weight.
Hyungwon followed the action, laying down himself with his gaze glued to the ceiling. "Sure, Mr. Therapist," he stated, placing one arm under his head. "I'm serious, Chae." Wonho's voice was slightly slurred and not before long the man fell completely silent, even breathing filling the silent room.
Hyungwon didn't know how to feel about this whole sharing the room at night thing. He preferred to sleep alone, mostly due to the frequent scream and terror-filled moments he could have at any hour of the night. That way it only affected him. He was fine sharing his office during the day, obviously, it was the best option for the two of them. Maybe Wonho would eventually move to one of the free living spaces in the building.
Hopefully.
When Hyungwon woke up next, it was to his phone ringing somewhere in the office. Groggily, his eyes opened up as he tried to find the device from where ever he'd put it last night. When he couldn't find it on the tight couch he forced himself up to look for it elsewhere.
It was on his desk, surprisingly. Hyungwon grabbed the device to see who was calling him so early in the morning. "Who is it?" Wonho's voice made him jump a little bit as it came from out of nowhere. The younger leader glanced toward the other who was still sprawled on his sad excuse of a bed half-naked, now only with papers in hand.
He then glanced down at the screen, examining the number. "The detective I talked to at the hospital." He replied, sitting down on the edge of his desk before picking up the call. He exchanged greetings with the man on the line, before the detective got to the point of his call.
"I do apologize for the early call, but you said to call immediately if we got anything." He explain making the man roll his eyes a little bit. Was he woken up only to be rambled to? "Go on, I hope you got a good clue," Hyungwon replied, tilting his head. This truly better be worth his time.
"Even better. We caught the man, and would like you to come down to the station to identify him." Hyungwon froze momentarily, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at the calendar. There was no way the cops had gotten Ilsang that fast. He must have sent someone to take the blame for what heäd done. "Mr. Chae?" The voice came through the line, seeming a little distant.
"Huh? Ah, right. I will be there in an hour, give or take." It would take every single bone and muscle in Hyungwon's body to not jump the old man the second he recognized him and beat him to a pulp but he would do his best not to. The call ended soon after that and Hyungwon dropped the phone from his ear before standing up.
"What did he want?" Wonho asked, now having sat up, blanket pooling on his lap. Hyungwon sucked in his lips, tearing his gaze away from the conventionally attractive man, and shook his head. "Apparently they caught Ilsang," he stated blankly, walking over to the small closet in his office. He pulled out a clean shirt, suit pants, and a jacket.
He hadn't bothered to change clothes after coming back so he'd slipped in his dirty, blood-stained clothes. Gross maybe, but was he supposed to act all normal now? He was in a space that only he, well, mostly only he occupied.
"They what now?" The older sounded just as surprised as Hyungwon; So, more skeptical than surprised. "Yeah, my exact thoughts. I'm going down to the station to see if it really is him... I don't feel too great about this." He muttered, beginning to change his clothes. Hopefully, the other man had the courtesy to look away but Hyungwon wouldn't blame him for stealing a glance or two.
He definitely had peeked a few times.
"I'll come with you." Wonho then said, getting up from the mattress to start getting dressed. Hyungwon glanced his way, huffing softly. "There's really no need," he replied, buttoning up his shirt and leaving the few top ones open. "I will just ask Joo..." he trailed off before sighing and nodding his head.
Wonho chuckled a little bit as if there was something amusing about what he'd said or done. "I'll just be there as a shadow, making sure you don't jump the old man. The last thing I need is my business partner to be behind bars," he stated, probably joking judging by his tone, but Hyungwon wasn't sure.
"Fine. We're taking your car, though." Hyungwon agreed reluctantly, pulling on his suit jacket before walking over to his desk and grabbing everything important. He waited for Wonho to finish getting ready before the two of them headed out of the office.
"Just don't stomp the breaks again or I will choke you." Hyungwon huffed at the shorter and crossed his arms. Wonho's stunt last night had been heart-attack inducing' and maybe if Hyungwon wasn't as healthy as he was, he might have been on his way to the morgue too. "So we're talking dirty now?" The older shot. Hyungwon pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek glancing at the older with a raised eyebrow. "I think we started when you called me a good boy in the backseat of my car."
The other's jaw fell open and he stopped walking. Hyungwon stopped too after a few steps, turning on his heels. He was staring back at him, maybe a little bit too shocked at his quip. "What? We're in a rush, Hoseok." Hyungwon then stated, trying to keep a straight face as he watched the older gathering himself. Now, this was amusing. "I was kidding, you know?" Wonho finally huffed, pushing past the taller, making sure to give his shoulder a shove whilst at it.
The par stopped in front of the metal doors of the elevator and stood in silence for a few seconds before Wonho cleared his throat and spoke up. "Do you think there's something fishy about this? Or is it just me?" Hyungwon let out a quiet hum, kicking at the floor tiles a little as he thought it through. He then looked at the older shrugging a bit. "It's either a very good plan on Ilsang's part or he was plain careless. I told everything I knew to the police when they took my statement. Though it doesn't feel right that someone like Ilsang would be stupid enough to get caught before 24 hours have even passed." He explained his thoughts, crossing his arms and scoffing.
Hell, the man has been playing dead for over a decade without outsiders knowing he was alive and well. Playing his part behind the scenes like a perfect little puppet master. Hyungwon would love to see how he explains his suicide stunt and why he would return by killing a seemingly innocent man. Sure, Changkyun had a record, but it was from his youth. The old leader was sure to keep their major crimes hidden and that was easy due to having company in law enforcement.
Nonetheless, Hyungwon would pay several figures just to see the snowball of lies unveiling, while he stood at the side sipping champagne.
"Or maybe I'm over-estimating that soon-to-be corpse and he is that fucking careless."
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thank you for reading! i really appreciate it ^^
i hope you enjoyed the chapter C:
'til next time~