(Violet's Pov)
I see the people run up to the gate but I didn't want to let them in. I look to see Clementine hurry down and then I see AJ as he runs up to the gate and they open it. I sighed and take my revolver out and shoot a few of the Walkers that were by the gate. I glared at the people as I came down.
"Oh, thank god." I hear and I tap my head a bit as a splitting headache was coming in already. I look to see Javier and David but no Kate.
"Jesus thank you Clem." Javier says and I lean on the gate a bit and stare at them for a bit. I was pissed, no I was beyond pissed they should have been left out there to die, Joan said they were bad people, they couldn't be trusted not after what they did.
"Anyone bit?" I asked and they look to me.
"No, no one was." David says.
"Where is Kate?" I asked as I looked around.
"Back at our camp, we didn't think there was a heard coming this way." Javier says as he looked to Clementine. I glare at him then look to Clem who walked over to me.
"Not now." She whispers and I shake my head a bit.
"We can leave once the heard is gone, shouldn't be that long." David says and I crossed my arms.
"I don't remember inviting either of you two, to stay." I comment and they glare at me.
"Violet not now please." Clementine begged and I sighed as I looked to her.
"Fine, fine." I tell her and she nods and I head over to my trailer and saw the puppy laying by the door. I pet the dog a bit and listen to the others as they talked to the Garcia's. I was angry but I was a bit scared. I remember what happened to Romeo, I hated having them here after they broke my damn leg I just, felt... stressed. I tap my head a little and then looked back to the dog and pet it for a while before I hear the door open and I see Clementine walk in.
"You ok?" She asked and I shrugged a little and then went back to petting the dog.
"Got a name for it yet?" She asked and I think and look to the puppy.
"Sasha?" I asked and Clementine nods.
"Alright, Sasha is a good name." She tells me and I nod at this. I pet the dog for a little bit longer and I put my hand to my head a bit.
"Are you stressed out?" She asked.
"A little... I'll get over it, I'm a bit tired too." I mutter and she looked to me.
"You should sleep than, it is getting late." She tells me and I nod as I just do that. I don't know when I woke up but I just did and saw I was in the living room. I get up and walk out the trailer and saw the garcias and the others by the bonfire. I glare at them and made sure that my revolver was by my side as I go over to see Clem sitting next to Minerva.
"I thought you were sleeping?" She asked me and I nod.
"I guess I was... I don't know." I tell her.
"Do you know where you are?" Omar asked and I nodded.
"Texas, my old home." I tell him.
"Why the hell would she not know where she is?" David asked and I glare at him and then shake my head a bit and tap my head once more.
"We just like to remind people where we are." Ruby lied and I crossed my arms a bit. I look back to Clem and motioned for her to follow me, to which she does and we take a seat on the steps of our home. I look at her leg and then to her as she looked back to me.
"Can I see if you're leg it ok?" I asked and she nods as she took her leg off and I see the padding was ok for a bit and there were no rips or anything wrong with it, other than the foot wearing down I look to her.
"Need to get you a new foot, this one looks like it will break." I tell her and she nods.
"It's been ok for the past few years, never had a problem with the foot." She says and I nod.
"Yea but I'm going to work on the new one again, still haven't gotten it to bend how I want it to." I explain.
"Foot looks like shit." I hear and look to David and glared at him. He raised his hands up in surrender and I look back to Clementine as she looked to him.
"You doing, ok?" He asked and I guess he was talking to me so I look at him.
"You were tapping on your head." He says and I think then look to Clementine again then back to her foot.
"Look I get it, I'm an asshole you don't like but I can worry when I see someone struggling with mental problems." He says and I get up and pull my gun on him.
"WOAH!" I hear and the others look at us.
"I never forgot what you did to Romeo, you fuckers killed him, didn't even help the man, then you kept dropping me on my broken fucking leg, you are monsters just like Joan said." I tell them and I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Violet put the gun down." Clem tells me.
"NO, FUCK THAT I SHOULD KILL THIS OLD FUCK!" I yelled and glared at him.
"Violet be the better person, you don't want to kill them, you're mad I get it." Clem says and the others come up to us. I hear Sasha barking and I glared at David as he looked at me.
"Joan was a monster-."
"I FUCKING KNOW THAT YOU ASSHOLE!" I yelled at him and he looked to me a bit shocked and I glare at him as I keep my gun on him.
"But you are monsters too, you killed all those people in that community, children, elderly, you name it you fucking killed them, bombing the damn place, shooting people in the head, Walkers eating the living, that's what caused more problems in the end." I tell him and he glared at me.
"You were kidnapping people-."
"I HATED THAT SHIT, I FUCKING HATED FORCING PEOPLE TO COME IN BY FORCE!" I yelled at him.
"You sure as hell didn't act like it." Javier says and I point my gun at him.
"I won't hesitate to shoot you in the fucking face, you both deserve to be put six feet in the ground.... thanks to you my... Mary is dead." I tell them.
"Violet." Louis says and I shake my head.
"It's true, if the community wasn't bombed, if we were still there Mary would be alive and not six feet in the ground... she was a good kid, she didn't deserve what happened to her, she was scared and because of you fuckers she is dead, Joan was looking for me, we all know it, and because you bombed our home... she had reasons to hurt my family." I tell them and looked to the ground a bit then back to them.
"But neither of you would care about family, last I checked you beat the hell out of your brother because your wife didn't like you anymore, and you killed your own son." I say and smirk at David as he glared at me.
"Violet, don't." Clem warned.
"Why shouldn't I bring it up? It's all fair, they don't care for anyone but themselves from all the stories I heard... wanted to keep it a secret that Mariana was killed by his own group members? Oh, Joan has told me about that bullshit." I tell them.
"That was our own problems to deal with you bitch." Javier says and I see him walk up to me and I shoot near his feet and he stopped.
"But you didn't tell Joan either, didn't tell her that one of her own killed an innocent child, no you kept it silent because you wanted revenge, right? You bashed in the fuckers' head; I should bash both your heads in." I tell them both.
"Violet please lower the gun." Clem tells me and I shake my head.
"No, I will not, I don't fucking trust them and neither should you, Clem look at what damage they caused all of us." I tell her.
"What damage seems like you are doing fine." David says and I glare at him.
"Mary is dead, AJ was almost killed as well, I had to deal with Joan and... and it wasn't pretty none of it was, in the community or out, she still finds a way to damage me, even in death she haunts me." I tell them and lower the gun and look to Clem then shake my head and tap it again. I then look at the and glare at them.
"You all caused more problems for me, than anyone else." I tell them.
"Joan was a monster too, you admitted to it." Javier says and I look to him and laughed.
"I know that, I had to be on the receiving end of Clementines punishments I took the fucking beatings, so don't act as if you are any better... you fuckers killed innocent people, you fuckers killed Mary her blood is on your hands." I tell them.
"We didn't fucking shoot her, damn she probably deserved it." Javier said and I raise my gun to him.
"JAVIER!" Clem yelled and I look to the man and smiled.
"Then Mariana deserved to die right? Oh, but you won't say that will you Javier?" I laughed and came up to him pointing my gun at his gut.
"She was probably a little bitch, right?" I asked him and he punches me and I grabbed my jaw as I turn back to look at him. I smirked and then shot him in the foot. He fell to the ground in pain and I laughed at this.
"Oh Javier Garcia, it's fucking funny, Clem talked highly of you but you... you don't deserve it." I say as others yelled at me and I look to them.
"OH MY GOD!" Minerva yelled and I glared at her then to the others. They looked scared but I didn't care. I didn't care at all I just laughed at this.
"Jesus' fuck what is wrong with you Violet?" Louis asked and I looked to him.
"I've changed mother fucker, I grew up before all this shit happened, I've delt with abuse for far to long and I've seen many... many people die because of people like these two fucks right here... we had a good thing going back at Joan's, I didn't care if I lived or die and I still don't fucking care." I tell him and looked at Javier on the ground and I saw Ruby try to come up to him but I point my gun at her.
"Jesus fuck Violet." Ruby says and I glared at her.
"He is not getting patched up, him and his brother didn't when they broke my fucking leg, this is nothing." I tell her then look to the others.
"Violet don't do anything rash." I hear and look to AJ.
"Rash? Oh no my dear boy this isn't rash, everyone needs to know heir damn place and this fucker belongs in the ground." I say and aim my gun at Javier's head. He looked at me and I smiled at the fear in his eyes.
"Violet please don't." I hear Clem say but I keep my gun to his head.
"He didn't care when he killed Romeo... he didn't care when he said Mary deserved to die, this fucker doesn't care so why should I hu? WHY SHOULD I FUCKING CARE ABOUT HIM?!" I yelled at her then looked to the man.
"You are better than this, you will regret it." She tells me and I laughed again. This was funny, it was fucking hilarious at this point.
"Oh? I'll regret this? You think I give a fuck if I regret killing these two fucks? I won't." I say.
"Violet please put the gun down." Omar says and I look at him. I don't lower my gun at all as I keep my eyes on him but I feel my hand shaking a bit.
"Listen to them." David says and I point my gun at him.
"You don't give me fucking orders." I tell him.
"Look I get it you were made into a soldier; you might not have seen war like I have but you have seen it." He says and I look to him.
"Walkers eating people, people you know dying, I get it, it's painful to see that, and from what you told us, Joan has messed with your head so much that you can't deal with it properly." He says and he takes a step and I shoot at his foot in a warning shot. He stopped and looked to me.
"Shut your damn mouth." I tell him.
"You have hallucinations, right? PTSD, it sucks I know I have to deal with it, I did in the wrong way when I saw my family again, I got my son killed because I just wanted to be a family, I fucked up and I take responsibility for his death, I have to see him as a Walker in my head every day, it haunts me." He says.
"I've lost many things too." He says and I glare at him.
"You..." I tried to say something but I froze a bit and I look around. Everyone is scared and I lowered my gun and I feel someone grab it and I look to see Clem as she put the gun to her side and I look at her.
"Fuck you." I say to her and she looks to me shocked and I looked around and gripped my hands into fists. I was shaking with anger I was pissed but I guess I was feeling guilt too.
"Vi-."
"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!" I yelled at her and she looks at me in shock and I glare at her.
"Ok... ok we won't call you that, you need to calm down please." Clem says and I glare at her. I look to everyone and I glare at Javier on the ground and then back to Clementine.
"Can... Can Ruby patch him up?" She asked and I shake my head.
"No." I tell her.
"He needs to be patched up." Clem tells me and I shake my head again.
"I SAID NO, LET THE FUCKER SUFFER!" I yelled at her then I look in the corner of my eye to see AJ pointing his gun at me and I glare at him.
"Stop." He says and I open my arms for him.
"Shoot me... go ahead and fucking shoot me God damn it." I tell him and he looked to the side then back to me as I see him put his finger on the trigger.
"AJ don't she's not thinking straight." Ruby says and I laughed.
"When am I ever... go on AJ pull the trigger, get me of this fucked up world." I tell him. I then felt something hit me in the head and I fell to the ground. I woke up and sat up from where I was. I felt my hands tied up and I looked down to see the rope wrapped around them. I look around and see I am in one of the sheds and I shake my head as I get up and look out the window as best as I could. It was dirty as all hell from the lack of cleaning so I couldn't make out a damn thing. I sighed as I paced around the shed a bit and looked around to see if there was anything I could use to cut the rope. I smirk as I find some broken metal and I begin to cut away at the rope. It took me a good while but I was finally able to cut myself free and I look to the shed door and I hear some talking. I go to the side of the door and waited for it to open. As the door opens, I grabbed the person and put them in a headlock.
"V-." Clementine stopped as I look to her then look to see I have Minerva in the headlock. I look back to Clementine and I took some deep breaths.
"We... we came to just talk, can you let Minerva go and we can just talk please." Clem begged and I look to Minerva and then to the ground. I was going to tell her no but I couldn't so I let Minerva go and backed away from them and I look at them.
"David and Javier are gone." Minerva tells me and I look at her.
"It's morning." Clem tells me and I nod at this then I took a seat on the floor and so do they as they closed the door.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You went a bit crazy." Minerva tells me and I rubbed the back of my neck and I kept my eyes to the ground. I couldn't look at them.
"You can call me Violet." I mutter.
"Are you sure?" I hear Minerva ask and I just nod.
"Violet... are you sure you're, ok?" Clem asked and I shake my head no.
"No... No, I'm not ok." I tell her.
"How can we help you?" She asked and I shrugged.
"Talking doesn't seem to help... nothing seems to help." I tell her honestly. I look at her and I see tears in her eyes and I look down to the floor. I was broken and I felt like shit.
"Are you ok with being in here?" Minerva asked and I nod a bit and placed my hand on my head.
"I honestly don't trust myself." I tell them honestly.
"Ok... we will bring you some food, ok?" Clem asked and I nod. I hear them both leave the shed and I stayed in that position for a while before I look up to see Clementine come in with some food. I look back down and the door closed and I feel her take a seat next to me. I see her hold a fork to me and I grabbed it then I moved my hand from my head and I look at her as she holds the food to me. I grabbed it with my free hand and I look at the food for a while before I ate a little bit. After I took a few bites I looked to Clementine as she looked to me and I rubbed my head a little as I set my fork back into the bowl of food.
"Do you want to try and talk to me?" She asked and I just stay silent.
"It's ok... we don't need to talk." She says and I look to the ground.
"He shouldn't have said that... that Mary deserved to die." I tell her.
"I know... I know it must have hurt you a lot to hear him say that." She tells me.
"It's not true... Mary didn't have to die... she was so innocent... she was so kind." I tell Clem.
"I know... I know she was." She tells me and I lay my head on her shoulder.
"Am I a monster?" I asked her and I feel her pat my head a bit.
"I don't think you are... I think you have some problems that need to be delt with, and I know that you know this, and I know you want help but you just can't ask for it like you use too... it's hard I get it, this world made us the way we are and people make it worse." She says and I rubbed my face a bit to keep the tears from falling on her shirt.
"I just... I feel like I can't... I'm fucked up in the head I know it but sometimes I just... I feel like I'm normal one day and then the next I'm back to being the bitch I was... guess that's how my life would have been even if the dead weren't walking around trying to eat us." I mutter and sighed a bit.
"I'm glad that you can talk about it... not many people can." She tells me and I think.
"David says I have PTSD... I don't really understand it." I tell her.
"Like... you don't know what it is?" She asked and I look down.
"I mean... do I really have it? Not like... I mean." I try to say to her but I couldn't figure out the words to say to her.
"You think you shouldn't have the right to say you have PTSD, right?" She asked and I nod a bit at this.
"Well tough shit, you have it, everyone can have it, people had it before... my mom worked with people who had PTSD, before I was born of course... people get it from car wreaks, assault, wars, many things can cause it, even now, watching Mary get killed... Tenn.... your friends at the school being killed by Walkers, even freezing to death and not being able to help them as it happens can cause it." She explained and I look to her a bit.
"You must have it bad than." I tell her.
"I do, but I learned to deal with it... I can't help you if you don't talk to me about it." She says and I look to the wall, my head still on her shoulder.
"When I was taking those beatings, I thought that I was doing one good thing for you, since I forced you to stay in that community." I tell her and I think.
"I felt that if I was making you mad by staying there that I deserved everything that came at me... that I needed to be... punished somehow and that was it... that was the punishment I was supposed to get." I tell her honestly and I closed my eyes a bit.
"I thought that if Joan killed me, then you would be happy... Joan might have kicked you out after I died, which you would have gladly taken at the time... after you made that comment about Louis, I thought you might have taken my gun and shoot me right there... I was expecting it, I really was.... I was hoping you would have... I was hoping you would have killed me that day, I wanted to die because of what Joan did to me." I tell her.
"Violet." She says my name so softly and I close my eyes and place my hands together.
"I want to die Clem... I really want to." I tell her and I pull back and kept my eyes to the floor.
"I... do you really want to?" She asked and I nod at this. I was being honest to her at this point.
"I... don't know what to say." She tells me and I look to her.
"You don't have to say anything... just... if I want to go alone and I don't bring anything with me... just don't come and find me, ok?" I tell her and she shakes her head.
"How could you tell me to do that? How would AJ feel?" She asked and I look at her.
"I... don't want him to know I just... if that day does come just... tell him I left, it makes me look like a bitch I get it but... I don't know anymore, I'm sorry." I tell her.
"If you ever feel like that you can just... talk to me please, I don't want you to feel like that is your only way out, I just... it makes me selfish to ask you to do this but please for me." She says and I keep my eyes to the floor.
"Violet." She says and I keep my eyes down and closed.
"Do you think I should give up on you?" She asked and I nod.
"Well, I'm not, so deal with it." She tells me and I look at her.
"Clem... I... I shouldn't have said anything, sorry." I tell her.
"No, it's a good thing you did say something, how would you think I would react if I saw you never come back? Violet, we want to help you... I want to help you but you doing this isn't fucking helping you or me." She tells me and I take a shaky breath.
"I don't want you to worry... anymore." I tell her and I look down.
"I don't want these dreams anymore, I don't want... this anymore." I tell her and I look at her.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore, I almost stabbed you, I... I fucking feel like shit because of it." I tell her.
"Then just talk to me about it." She says.
"I just... I can't I fucking... fuck this." I say and get up and paced around the shed and I placed my hands on my face and pull them downward and look to the dirty window. I see a shadow walk to the side and I glare at Clem.
"Someone is at the side of the shed." I tell her and she looks to the door and gets up. She looks at me then back to the door and opens it and we see Louis and I glared at him then at her. I know it wasn't her fault or at least I hoped she didn't tell him to listen in.
"Get out." I mutter and look to see her standing there.
"I SAID GET OUT!" I yelled at her and she nods and leaves the shed and I paced the shed a bit. I slick my hair back and I keep pacing the room as I try to calm myself down.
"Seems like Clem didn't trust you." I hear and see Joan and I back up a bit.
"You're not real, you're not real." I mutter and sink down to the floor and I hold my head and look back up to see nothing but I didn't let my guard down. I get up and look around a bit. I knew I was crazy but she looks so real in my head she looks so real. I lay my head back on the shed walls and I felt tears go down my face. I hit my hand to my head and I get up as I tried to breath. I look around and go to the door and it's locked. I panic as I tried more and more to get the door open.
"You put yourself in here Violet." I hear and I cried.
"Leave me alone.... Please leave me alone." I say.
"How can I do that flower?" She says and I turn around to punch the woman but she wasn't there. I get pissed off and I look at the door and kick at it. I was able to get it slightly off the hinges before the door was opened and I tackle the person who opened the door I glare at them and I get up and look around.
"What happened?" I hear and I close my eyes as I hear her voice. I open my eyes and quickly head to the trailer but before I could actually get in, I was tackled and turned to face them and I punch them in the face.
"GET OFF ME!" I yelled as I tried to shove them off. But no one helped me. it felt like when Joan held me down and I shut my eyes tightly.
"Get off, please get off me Joan." I say and I feel them get off me. I move back and I feel my back hit the wall of the trailer and I place my hands on my head.
"Get off." I mutter as I feel a hand on me and I feel it being lifted.
"Vi-."
"Don't... not... not now." I tell them I tried to breath but it was hard and I tried to calm down. I feel someone grab me, I tried to shove them off but they held me tighter.
"Violet, Violet please calm down, breath." I hear and it's Clementine. I tried to breath I really did but I still felt... scared.
"She was... no she." I mutter to her.
"Who?" She asked.
"Joan... I saw her... I saw her I swear I did." I mutter and took a few breaths.
"Ok, ok do you think you can get up? We can go in the house." She tells me and I shake my head a bit.
"Ok, just breath." She tells me and I do just that. It did take me a while to finally breath in a slow and steady manner. I choked a bit as I feel scared, I was still so scared.
"Do you want to go in?" She asked and I just keep quiet but I nod as she gets up and I head inside with her. I sat on the couch and rubbed my face a bit to dry the tears that fell.
"I think you need some sleep." I hear Clem say and I just keep my head down.
"I don't need sleep." I tell her.
"Ok... ok sorry." She says and takes a seat next to me but I move away from her. I didn't want to be touched right now, not right now at all. I rubbed my face and I sighed then looked to the kitchen window.
"Did you tell Louis to listen in?" I asked her.
"No, I didn't I swear." She says and I shake my head a bit. I keep my eyes on the window but then I look down as I tried think.
"I'm sorry." She says.
"Don't be... I panicked... I just... panicked." I tell her.
"I shouldn't have made you stay in there." She says and I shake my head.
"I told you to leave... it's my own fault." I tell her.
"You-."
"If you are going to tell me to not blame myself than you are going to be starting a fight you can't win." I tell her and I look to the wall.
"I'm sorry Clementine... I love you; I really do and I am grateful that you want to help me... if... if we can find a way to help me then I'll take it but I just.... It'll take time." I tell her.
"I know... we can try." She says and I look to her sadly and then to the ground.
"I love you too, you know." She says and I look at her and I nod.
"I know... I know, and... you shouldn't but... I'm glad you still love me." I tell her and I take a breath and I look back to the wall and we just sat in silence for a while.