T/W breakdown has a panick attack
The air was always cold on the nemesis. A chill that sank into every decepticons metal plating. Reminding them of the merciless world they were a part of.
Breakdown sank into his berth. Wide awake from his thoughts that wouldn't stop racing.
Racing.
He looked over at his sparkmate, knockout. Peacefully shut down for the night, recharging. He was happy here, wasn't he? He seemed to love the life of the decepticons. Shouldn't that be enough for breakdown? He thought it was, for so long. Going against his very nature for knockout.
He even liked it for little while. He grew to forget about his old morals. His old friends. He learned to be a decepticon.
But even after so long, just one night with the autobots seemed to make the old him resurface.
Maybe he could cut it down like before? Grow out of it?
He hoped he could. He was already seeing the results of holding his old self back. But it just felt wrong.
Knockout stirred in the berth beside him. Making him freeze for a second in fear.
What would knockout think? Should he tell him about his second thoughts? How would he even react?
He didn't think he would get angry. He would most likely be sad, upset over the fact he was even thinking this.
Knockout was completely unaware of these backhanded thoughts as he peacefully dazed.
Breakdown had a bad feeling about today.
_________
Breakdown stepped outside the ground bridge just after Megatron. Nervous, but he had already gone too far and couldn't turn back now. The sounds of the bridge shutting down whooshed behind him. Making him jump slightly, even though he had heard it over a million times. Today the sound just held a certain chill.
Megatron kept walking forwards. Not seeming to notice or care about Breakdowns jumpyness.
"What are we doing here? Lord Megatron." His words stumbled out clumsily.
"This is one of starscream abandoned mines." He said as if breakdown was supposed to care.
As they walked into the cave, deeper and darker, Megatron didn't say another word. He just continued down the path as if it was one of the hallways on nemesis.
Finally he stopped, and slowly turned around to face him. His eyes full of anger. He punched the wall, and pulled out a scrap of energon.
"Tell me, breakdown, did starscream tell you anything about him taking the decepticons from me?"
"What? No! It's not like I would listen to a word he says anyways."
Megatron looked convinced for a split second.
Then anger took over.
He crushed the small piece of energon in his hand, and with his cannon arm he aimed directly at breakdowns head. "I don't like traitors breakdown. You not only failed me twice, but you got helped by the autobots. You didn't think to get their base coordinates?" His Canon began to glow, a small whizzing sound powering it up. Megatron didn't care that he knew that wasn't possible.
How would that even be possible? Why would he think the auotbots would trust him alone in their own base. Him, a long time decepticon.
"Of course I did! I was only in there for a few hours, I didn't get a chance! All eyes were on me!" He stuttered out, staring at the cannon aiming for him. All he could do was stand here. He couldn't take on Megatron, and he certainly didn't want to try.
The decepticon leader only frowned deeper, somehow.
"I know that you helped the autobots on your last mission, breakdown." He said, calmer then before. But it was still as terrifying as his yelling. His eyes pinned him down, forcing him to stay put in fear.
"What?" He gasped under his breath. Shocked.
Soundwave. That was the only explanation. Of course Megatron would plan to keep an eye on him. Why hadn't he thought of that before hand?
He was more stupid then he orignally thought.
A human walked out from behind a corner silently from behind Megatron. The smile on his face sank quickly, replaced by fear and shock. Breakdown recoginized him, it was Jack.
The autobots were here!
Arcee stepped out after him. Immediately noticing them, and getting into a battle ready stance.
Megatron raised an eyebrow in anger. Noticing that breakdown was looking no longer as focused on him as a split second ago, he turned to see the two of them. He growled in annoyance.
The floor began to tremble under foot. Catching them all completely off guard. Megatron stumbled, using his arms for balance.
There was no longer a cannon pointed at breakdown.
He took a few steps back, thinking about his next move. Rattled by the sudden earthquake. Then he heard the rocks.
His eyes shot up just in time to watch them tear themselves free and fall on his leader. Crushing him almost completely. He was sure Megatron was fine, but he was almost next. It didnt even register that he quickly transformed, and raced away from the falling rocks. Somehow just in time too. He felt the ground shake as the rest of them smashed on the ground right behind him. Decimating the spot he stood a second ago.
"Jack!" Acree screamed.
Without thinking, he transformed and jumped above Jack, on his hands and knees. Catching any rocks that were about to crush him a second ago on his back.
Large, sharp rocks fell right on his back. Making him gasp in pain a few times.
The shaking stopped just as soon as it started. He heard coughing from underneath him. He looked at the human. Who stared back at him wide eyed.
"JACK!" Arcee screamed in a panic. She knelt down to see him. Then sighed in relief when she saw him. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah. I would've been a goner if breakdown didn't help. Thanks." He smiled at him. Breakdown smiled back awkwardly. Not sure what to say.
The decision was made in a split second. But he couldn't believe he had done it. He had just saved a human.
Not just any human either.
"Uh, yeah..." He grunted awkwardly. "Could you maybe move? This isn't the best."
"Oh, yeah." Jack scampered out from underneath him. Breakdown stood up slowly, letting the rocks fall off his back. He groaned and rolled his neck.
"I should-" Breakdown turned towards the rock pile that Megatrons was stuck. "Help him." He said it out loud, sure, but he didn't mean it. Not after all of that.
"No, absolutely not." Jack crossed his arms. Both cybertronians looked down in shock. "Breakdown, he just tried to kill you." He lifted his arms and pointed at the blue con. "Don't think we didn't see that." He shook his head.
Arcee nodded. "I agree with the kid."
"Well, what do you suggest I do?" Breakdown frowned down at the two of them. Not really wanting to know. He had a feeling he knew exactly what they were going to say.
"Scrap if I know." Arcee shrugged.
Jack nudged her leg. "Come back to our base with us."
The kid said it so confidently. Without any doubt in his voice that it made breakdown believe that he was right, just for a moment.
"I . . . Don't think I can do that."
"Your own boss man was just about to murder you." Arcee rolled her eyes. "But I guess you still think he's the best ever, huh?"
"No, that's not it." His eye glanced between the pile of rocks and the autobots.
"Let me guess? It's complicated?" She breathed deeply. "Sure, keep telling yourself that."
Breakdown stared at the ground, not sure what to do or what to say.
If he left to stay with the autobots. He wouldn't just be leaving knockout. He would also be working with the same bots in which he'd been fighting for eons. The same bots which he had probably murdered friends of. He wouldn't lie and say he never had killed anyone.
This was a war after all.
"Well you think about that, we need to find the others." Arcee tensed. "Have fun helping the one who was gonna murder you. That's gonna be one awkward reunion."
They began walking down the tunnel together. Around the rocks.
Breakdown wasn't sure what to do. If he went with them, he would for sure be a traitor. But would Megatron still decide to kill him if he saved him now? That would certainly prove to him he wasn't a traitor, right?
He let the two of them leave. He knew if he was going to save Megatron, then they wouldn't want to be around.
Several minutes later, he walked over to the pile of rocks. He began to pick up the big pieces from it.
He uncovered his head. The purple gaze was painfully sharp as Megatron glared up at him.
"Breakdown? So, you came back." He snarled at him.
"Of course, lord Megatron. I'm no traitor." He picked up more of the pieces, finally releasing the warlord.
He was free.
Megatron picked himself off the ground, and immediate began walking towards were the autobots had been. He didn't seem injured at all, besides the small dents that were barely noticeable.
Breakdown only noticed them because of all the time he'd spent with a certain someone who was obsessed with his appearance.
"Which way did they go?"
"I'm not sure, they ran before I could get them." He lied. He wasn't a good liar, he stumbled over his words and said it in a awkward type of voice. Then again, he was always like that.
Megatron side eyed him, almost like he knew exactly what was going on. "I don't appreciate liars either."
"Rig- right. I believe they went this way my leige!" He began walking down the other direction, trying to stay calm as the big leader followed directly behind him.
They walked down the tunnel for what seemed like forever. Breakdown would jump at random sounds, earning angry sounds of disapproval from Megatron.
He had to know.
He had to know Breakdown was leading him the wrong way, right? He could feel his anger growing every second. Unsure of what to do. He was trapped. Literally.
"Breakdown." Megatrons cannon fired up, and he turned around, aiming for his head once again. "Are you protecting the autobots right now?" His eyes glared at him with so much hate it made his mind spin.
"No! No my liege! I would never!" His immediate thought was that he sounded like starscream. It made his whole body shiver with disgust.
"I thought I told you," His cannon began to glow with power. "I don't like liars."
Breakdown was going to die. He was sure of it, he could feel it in his spark. A wave of relief sprang threw him. It was all over now, no more questions.
He was just so calm.
But then a face popped into his head.
His sparkmate.
The one he loved. And suddenly a new motivation surged.
He grabbed Megatrons wrist, and shoved it up with all his strength. Catching the warlord completely off gaurd. The blast caught the ceiling, sending yet more rocks falling onto the two of them.
Megatron was fast to react. He pulled out his blade and stabbed at breakdown.
But Breakdown was gone, speeding away, back down the hall towards the autobots.
"YOU TRAITOR! GET BACK-!" Megatron shouted out. The rocks crashed down mid sentence. Crushing him once again.
Breakdown didn't even want to think about what he had just done.
Megatron not only tried to kill him, he tried to kill him twice!
Was this it? Did he have to join the autobots now?
He certainly couldn't go back to the decepticons. After that? Not a chance.
But he couldn't join the autobots, right? He wasn't so sure anymore.
If he did, he would completely destroy knockout.
What he just now realized, is he had been destroying himself just for love.
All this time, he had pretended to be someone he wasn't. He couldn't do it anymore. Sure, it was shattering his spark into a million pieces just to think about it. But if knockout truly loved him, he would understand.
At least, he hoped so.
He wandered the cave, searching for any of the autobots. Feeling dizzy by what had just happened.
His thoughts swarmed his head, making it harder and harder to focus on his surroundings. His vision began fading away, swimming with spots of black and white. Time began to speed up. His breathing became shallow.
Energon pulsed through him quicker and quicker, forcing his ears to listen as it drowned out all the other sounds. Not that the cave was noisy at all, but it was still upsetting.
He reached out an arm, trying to find a wall to stabilize himself. Trying to grab back his grasp on reality.
The walls of the cave began feeling as if they were trying to crush him.
He shut his eye, and tried to slow down his breathing.
It barely worked.
He had had panick attacks before. He had even had worse ones then this.
But knowing that a warlord was on the path to kill you kinda makes it hard to escape from such a paralyzing fear.
He wouldn't know if he would ever see to knockout again. Which was terrifying in on itself as well.
His eye fluttered open to a small sound. His head snapped towards it.
Like a hammer hitting metal. It was coming from behind a wall of rocks. Someone was trapped behind the wall. He began tearing away the rocks. Hoping to find someone who didn't want to kill him.
The struggle was in vain, because he came face to face with Bulkhead.
"Breakdown?" He grunted. He was holding up the ceiling, clearly struggling. "Miko! Get behind me!" He hadn't noticed the small girl beside the green autobot. She shook her head, standing her ground.
"It's okay, I'm here to help you guys." He said awkwardly. Trying his best to relief the tension. Not just between them, but from the previous moments before.
The two of them stared at him. Their faces full of confusion. Bulkhead glared at him. Well Miko seemed hopeful.
"Really?" She breathed quietly. He barely heard her.
"Don't lie." Bulkhead said through gritted teeth.
"I'm not." He stepped into the small room, and looked up at the ceiling. "Miko, get underneath bulkhead," she did as he said. Hesitating at first. "Here goes nothing." He aimed his cannon and fired directly at the ceiling.
"What are you doing!" Bulkhead shouted.
The rock split from the different shots that were being fired. Fragments fell, and the larger pieces began crashing down.
He continued to fire at the falling pieces, hoping to turn them to dust.
A piece landed on himself, but he shoved it off.
Dust slowly settled, and he looked around the room. He really had done them a favor, he smiled to himself.
Bulkhead was hunched over, it looked like he threw the piece of rock he was holding to the side and grabbed miko. Holding her underneath him, trying to protect her.
"BREAKDOWN!" His smile fell. "WHAT WAS THAT!? HOW WAS THAT HELPING!?" Bulkhead sat up, and opened his hands.
The small human began to cough from on his palms.
"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!"
He only shrugged apologetically. Not sure what to say.
The small, pink human looked up and smiled.
"You did great! Thank you!"
"Do not encourage that behavior." Bulkhead grumbled.
"You sound like ratchet." She giggled. But not in a cheery way.
"It doesn't make me wrong."
"Hey!" Arcees voice rang out from behind breakdown. "What happened here?" She looked around at the scattered rocks and dust.
"Breakdown 'helped' us." Bulkhead placed the human girl on the ground and stood up. Dusting himself off.
"He destroyed the ceiling like a badass!" Miko punched the empty air.
"He destroyed the ceiling?" Jack crossed his arms and looked up at the con with concern. Arcee glared up at him.
"Yeah, because bulkhead was forced to hold it up or else it would smash us! And I was running out of oxygen as well. So he helped us! Again!"
The again part made breakdown cringe.
"Oh, huh." Jack breathed.
"So you decided to shoot the ceiling?" Arcee raised an eyebrow.
He just shrugged. Bulkhead rolled his eyes and sighed in anger.
"So, you decided to leave Megatron then?" Arcee asked.
"After I let him out, he tried to kill me. . .
"Again." Jack interrupted.
"And I sorta got him trapped- again so . . ."
"Woah woah woah! What now?" Miko perked up excitedly.
"Well, I guess you can't go back now huh?" Jack shrugged, smiling up at him.
It wasn't a normal smile, there was sorrow in his face. Breakdown wasn't the best at reading expressions, especially human expressions. But he could see that the human obviously felt bad for him.
Breakdown shrugged. "I don't really have a choice. But you do. All of you." He looked around the room at all of them.
"I'm all for you to join us!" Miko didn't even hesitate.
Arcee and bulkhead scowled.
"Come on guys, he needs help." Jack raised his arms in exaggeration.
Bulkhead seemed to frown even harder.
"BREAKDOWN!" A familiar angry voice rang out from the darkness.
The humans backed away from the entrance. The autobots, as well as the single con, immediately got ready for a fight.
Breakdown stomped around the corner, coming face to face with the warlord.
"You betrayed me." Megatron spat through his piercing teeth. He raised his cannon once again, glowing with a fierce purple. "Your as good as dead."
Breakdown didn't answer. He wouldn't know what to say anyways.
He shot his own cannon directly at the warlord.
With one shot, his whole future was decided. Set in the same stone of mountain they stood in.
The autobots gasps.
Breakdown ran up, shoving Megatron to the side of the tunnel.
But Megatron was ready, recovering quickly and using his other arm to grab breakdown by the neck and push him backwards. He fell to the ground with a loud thud.
He scrambled to his feet as Arcee fired at Megatron, which made him stumble backwards and growl. Bulkhead rounded the corner to run at him, yelling as he smashed his hammer down on him with his full body weight. Catching him completely off guard because he didn't know he was even there.
Megatron yelled in rage.
Then he began to laugh.
"So, you have decided to become an autobot, huh?" More insane laughing. "Just wait until knockout finds out." He grinned at him. Then transformed into his vehicle mode and zoomed down the hall. He knew he was outnumbered and injured.
There was only one thought going through Breakdowns head.
Oh primus, what did he just do?