The doorbell to your house sounded and you stood on shaky legs, reaching for a t-shirt and pulling it over your head, your hair messily mopped atop of it. You felt so drowsy and weak, practically dragging yourself down the long winding stairs - struggling every step- to the door, and taking a good 5 minutes to do to.
Your hand gripped the cold doorknob, a significant amount of effort put into such a simple task as you drew the door open. Trixie's eyes were droopy and swollen, with bloodshot pupils suggesting he may have been crying. David stood a few steps behind him with his hands in his pockets, the both of their bodies rigid with obvious discomfort.
You parted your lips, but the only sound that came out was a weak cry and before you knew it, your arms were draped over Trixie's tall frame and you were crying into his neck.
It was a relief to hug your friend after all of the fighting and emotions. Trixie sighed and wrapped his arms around you protectively, turning his nose into your hair. "You can always ask us for help." David hummed, his hand landing softly on your back, gripping it comfortingly as you and Trixie continued to hug.
Sniffling, you pulled back to look at him with teary eyes, hiccuping as you tried to hold back your incessant tears. "Anytime." Trixie confirmed, gripping both of your shoulders in each of his strong hands and giving you an affirming squeeze. Trixie quickly averted his eyes, wiping away a tear before beginning to guide you back into the large house.
Neither Trixie or David had been in your new house yet, but you doubted this would be the time for them to admire the large size or modern and expensive architecture. You would give them the grand tour after this was dealt with.
You stumbled slightly, feeling the affects of your emotional exhaustion causing you much more disorientation then you had expected. Trixie's hand pressed to your lower back, steadying you as you walked into the large living room.
"Here- just uh- let's sit here..." you mumbled, reaching for the arm of the couch and practically falling into it as you sat down. Trixie looking back to David with a pained expression as the both of them awkwardly sat beside you, maneuvering themselves around the coffee table to give you some space on the large L-shaped couch.
An awkward silence passed over the room and you nervously readjusted your legs, making no attempt to start a conversation you felt so childishly afraid of. You sighed, your shoulders dropping. "Do you wanna get clean?" David asked, breaking the tense quiet air and asking the question both you and Trixie were too afraid to ask.
Your lips parted, but again, your words failed you and you simply nodded, keeping your eyes on the floor and avoiding your what you felt was like a parent's disappointed gaze. "Please say it." Trixie choked out, weaker than you had ever heard his regularly strong and snarky voice.
You often thought of Katya's first slip up as one of the scariest moments of your life, both his and Trixie's reactions to that situation terrifying you, but you hadn't been the cause of that pain. This time around, you were the only one to blame.
"Well what am I supposed to say?" Trixie snapped, an attitude very common in her humour, but much less light hearted. "It's not your fault. I know. We've been through this shit before. But it hurts Brian. I just want you to be happy and healthy and be my friend like you've always been. I can do it on my own, but why would I want to? We both know it's way more fun to live our twisted lives together than apart and I don't want to loose that over some stupid chemical that wiggled it's way into your brain. It's not fair. I love working with you, but I love you being my friend even more, and I don't think I could do life without you." The queen choked up with the last words and so did you, tears welling in your eyes as you tried to hold back your emotions. You related to what Trixie was saying and it only affirmed how much you cared about the both of them, not to mention how solemnly sweet the moment was. On shaky legs, you wandered into your bedroom, leaving the queens to talk in private. You looked carefully over your face in the bedroom mirror, practically contemplating each and every one of your life choices. You were feeling all too conflicted. You were so apprehensive about getting into a relationship, but Brian seemed like the perfect person.
"I wanna get clean." You croaked, finally getting the strength to spew out some of the most chilling words you had ever spoke.
You flicked your eyes back up to Trixie and he shot you a teary smile. "Let's do this." He sighed shakily, reaching forward to pat your knee.
-
"Top drawer." You stated. Holding your left hand to your lips and chewing at your thumb nail. Trixie stood next to you, reaching forward to wrap his arms around you warmly, your head laying back into his chest as David went for the drawers. You almost stopped him, wanting so badly to shout and scream for David to get away from the dresser, but Trixie once again kept you grounded.
You assumed Trixie noticed your heightened tension, because just as David began to rummage through your drawer, he spoke up. "Let's go get you cleaned up, honey, ya look like shit!" He scoffed playfully, taking on a silly rasp to his voice as he retracted his neck and quickly began redirecting you to the ensuite.
You were more than glad for the distraction. "Sorry Trix, I had to bang my coke whore one more time before I gave into the temptation of a healthy heart." You teased, shooting Trixie a stupid grin as you entered the room. The shower was a huge black porcelain with frosted glass doors, even the bathroom being a direct reference to your intense wealth. Between high ceilings and marble floors, the huge room was decked out in modern appliances.
Trixie snorted out a quick laugh. "Don't tell my coke whore that... Katya's torn up enough about you." He sighed, shaking his head as he bent down to rummage through the bathroom drawers.
You knew you deserved every backhanded jab Trixie shot at you - innocent or not- , but you did not want to feel worse about Katya at a time like this. Perhaps, however, it was as good a time as any to really make amends and get some stuff off your chest. "Does he hate me?" You asked quietly, watching as Trixie found the hair and toothbrush he was apparently searching for and popped up from his bent over position.
"No. I'm sure he wishes he could, but you both know you still love each other." Trixie explained defeatedly, taking a step closer to you and deciding to brush your hair himself, being extremely gentle.
You nodded thoughtfully, trying to really understand in the hope of being at least respectful after all of the shit you put them through.
"What about you?" You piped up, giving Trixie a glance from the corner of your eyes as he focused his attention on your hair.
"What about me?" The queen asked, sighing as he raked his fingers through the parts of your hair he had already detangled.
You felt like Trixie was just avoiding the questioned, but you humoured him. "Do you hate me?" You repeated your question, a little steadier than the first time.
Trixie's shoulders stiffened and only after turning to the counter and placing down the brush did he dare to speak. "I could never hate you. I always admired you, but I hate what you did more than anything." He stated, his eyebrows raised to give that painful sentence some emphasis.
That one hurt.
"Go shower (Y/N). I'm gonna go help David." Trixie mumbled, keeping his head down as he left you stranded alone in the room.
You stood still for a few quiet minutes, collecting your thoughts and taking several deep and cooling breaths. You scoffed out a laugh of disbelief, Brian being the one to teach you those cooling breaths and realizing that he was there to help you even when he wasn't there.
You shuffled over to the shower, pulling the ratty over your head and discarding it on the floor before stepping into the water. The shower was large enough to be a closet, but there was something about the empty space that made you almost immediately despise it. In the shower there was space to think, there was space to move and there was space to realize that maybe Brian had changed you, and maybe you weren't as equipped to be alone as you had been a year or two ago.
Sighing thoughtfully, you quickly busied yourself with washing away the trials of the day and subconsciously wondering just where exactly Trixie and David were going to dispose of your extensive stash.
You were quick to shake that thought away and proud of it. You needed to gain some sort of self control and come out of this negativity with some sort of betterment of yourself.
You thus far had little to no idea of the day to day struggle you would face and were still far too optimistic for your own good.
Scrubbing your scalp thoroughly, you realized your pounding headache was only becoming worse, the scratchy pain in your nose and throat increasing along with it.
You washed the soap from your hair. The hot water streamed down your curves as your hands caressed over your hair and then moved to cradle your neck releasing a deep sigh of immense relief.
Moving to turn off the matte black faucet, your shoulders dropped as you released more of the immense tension you had been holding.
Stepping out of the shower, you were quick to dry off, throw the old t-shirt back over yourself and tie your hair up in a towel to dry.
Wandering out, back into your room, you found Trixie sat on the edge of your bed and David sat next to him with his arm around his boyfriend. "All clean, but I feel like shit." You grinned, flashing them a toothy smile in an attempt to lighten the dark mood encompassing the entire ordeal.
Trixie took in a slow, deep breath, before nodding. "I bet. You had more coke in those drawers then lady Bunny can smuggle in her ass." Trixie chuckled lowly, running his hands over his eyes and groaning.
"Clean body, clean mind. You've got a fresh start honey, don't waste it." David smirked, almost sadly and with some restraint. You hummed in agreement, rocking back on your heels as the heat rose to your face, completely ashamed.
Trixie's eyes were heavy lidded as they flicked hazily around the floor, only finding their way back to your eyes after a few short seconds. "I um-... I like the mansion, kid. It's lit!" Trixie stuttered, clearly uncomfortable, but finding his humour at the end with a stupid voice. He straightened up his posture and plastered on a gentle smile, this action alone causing David to sigh.
You brushed off David's reaction and focused on Trixie. "Yes!" You rose playfully to your tippy toes before falling back down to flat feet. "I'm rich now Mattel!" You smiled, trying to ignore the incessant body aches you were now feeling.
Trixie nodded. Smirking his classically sideways grin. "That's MRS Mattel to you, I only talk to you for my personal gain. Use my proper title when we're out of the office." She teased flipping her none existent wig and causing David to playfully role his eyes with a scoff of laughter.
You hugged out a painful laugh, worsening your headache. "Fuck all the way off Tracy-" just then your phone sounded and you were quickly picking it up from the nightstand. Still laughing, you opened your phone to find a name you had missed so dearly dancing across your screen.
One New Message from: Brian McCook