Things have been... Tough. I only had to work a half day today so I decided it's a good day to go on a hike with J and her dog Bubba. I make it to her place around 12:30 and she already has Bubba locked and loaded with his harness and tennis ball snug between his teeth. He greats me at the door and almost knocks me down which I welcome wholeheartedly. "Oh Bubs I missed you!" I squeal.
Jaqueline hooks on his harness and helps me up. "Ready to go?" I nod in agreement and we pile in to her Corolla and head out to the hiking trail.
I needed this today. My whole family is stressed about TJ going to treatment. He backed out last minute when he was discharged from the hospital earlier this month, but then two weeks later he relapsed and finally gave in. My aunt got him a bed and he was leaving today. I was incredibly proud of him for finally taking this huge step in his journey, so I sent him a quick text this morning.
Bria: I love you and I'm proud of you. I'll be here to talk shit to you when you get back!
TJ: If that's the case I may stay in rehab forever.
Bria: Fuck off! Love you.
TJ: love you too. Sometimes.
I know that this will be so good for him, he's much stronger than I am. I just stopped cold turkey; no rehab, no program, and it's hard. I'm pathetically white knuckling my sobriety. But he is braver than me, always has been, and is going to get a handle on his addiction and using his words "kick it's fucking ass."
We make our way out to our usual hiking trail that takes us down to a small creek that we usually end up relaxing in, throwing sticks and rocks for Bubba to retrieve and gnaw on.
It was hot for an October day so the butterflies and bees were out in abundance. The sounds of nature have always calmed me, J on the other hand was swatting away everything that came in her direction. "How can someone love to hike but hate bugs?"
Watching her duck and dodge every little thing that comes flying her way has me full on belly laughing. "You know if you don't flinch it'll leave you alone."
"I highly doubt that! Look at them dive bombing me and completely leaving you alone." She says with eyes darting around to make sure all flying insects are far away from her.
"J we don't need to be out here if you're going to wig out the entire time." She shakes her head in protest, "I'm facing my fears of insects, just be prepared if I get spooked to catch me if I fall."
I shake my head at her overly dramatic attitude towards the beautiful world around us. I'd always loved being outdoors as a kid. I was super big in rock collecting, I don't know how many photos my parents have or me as a baby shoving rocks in my pocket to take home. I was always painting tiny little faces on each one to keep as pets, even named some of them.
"Whatever you say J. Just don't take me down with you if you eat shit out here."
Bubba has made the hike even more difficult aside from Jaqueline's constant squeals and screams. He is distracted by other people walking past us, always begging for all of the pets and belly rubs, as if he is severely neglected from our love and affection. He stops and sniffs every flower, bush, pebble, and twig. But his favorite past time is definitely pulling on his harness to chase off any squirrels that cross our path which inevitably leads to Jaqueline tripping every five minutes.
I carry my old camera with me to snap some photos of Bubba frolicking in the high grass, rolling around in the few flowers left at the end of summer, and eating shit when he was startled by three squirrels scurrying through the bushes.
Once we've made it down the 3 mile trail to the creek, we settle in on the edge of the water with Bubba curled up right in between us. I give him his travel water bowl filled with ice cold water from my water bottle. I decided to pull my boots and socks off, letting my tired feet soak in the cold clear water. Coming down here is always such a great way to decompress from life's chaos. Jaqueline cracks open a book while lounging out on a towel she brought for the dog knowing damn well he won't settle long and will end up in the water.
Like clockwork after drinking all of his water, Bubba takes off at full speed when he sees a bird fly right past us.
"Bubba get back here! Leave that poor bird alone!!" I holler. But of course I'm ignored. He sprints through the shallow end of the creek letting out the most pathetic puppy cries, desperate to capture that poor creature. The bird flies high enough and lands in a tree where he mocks Bubba with loud vibrant chirps.
Finally disengaged from the failed mid afternoon bird snack, he spends the rest of his time away from us chasing kids, chasing other people's dogs, and rolling around on his back in the grass like the happiest boy in the world.
Makes me wish I was a dog and not a human if we're being honest.
We have to rally him back to the car since he made quite a few furry friends today, in turn refusing to leave. It's now 5 o'clock and we've been at it for almost four hours.
I was exhausted.
I decided to stay at Jaqueline's for the night to avoid any traffic going back to my place. She luckily has a second bedroom that she refers to as my own and it kind of was. I leave some clothes there since it's basically my second home. I brought my work laptop to stay on top of anything time sensitive and decided I'd just work from her house Thursday.
We make a pit stop to grab burgers for dinner before heading to her house, Bubba insisted on trying to eat my chicken burger even though we got him his own patty that he devoured in less than a minute.
"Your dog acts like he's never eaten a day in his life J!" I have to keep leaning forward to eat since Bubba is large enough to reach to the front seat. His massive pink tongue hangs out as he whimpers the saddest little doggy cries.
"He's a little pig that's for sure. I need to get him a strap in harness for the car." Jaqueline pushes his nose away from me so I can eat in peace and he surprisingly listens.
We arrive back at her house, sweaty and sunburned. Bubba was covered in god knows what so before heading in we corner him to give him a quick bath with the hose. He's usually really good about baths but he was not having it today. We spent at least 20 minutes trying to hold him down and get him as clean as possible before allowing him to wonder around the house.
I'm pretty sure most of the water ended up on either of us or the plants in her yard, but he was clean nonetheless. She grabs a towel from her back seat and dries him off before going inside.
"Ok I'm disgusting so I'm going to take a shower. You're more than welcome to do the same in the hall bathroom." I give Jaqueline a thumbs up, grab a spare towel from the hall and get myself clean. Knowing I'm particular about my hair care, she generously leaves my favorite botanical repair Aveda shampoo and conditioner on the shower shelves. She even has my favorite coconut and vanilla body wash. She really was the best friend anyone could ask for.
I swear if she wasn't taken I'd marry her ass.
Once settled in on the couch in Jaqueline's cozy dark living room, I worked a bit while she did her Anthropology homework with Bubba curled up right under her feet snoring like a freight train.
"When do you think you'll be done with school?" I ask after about an hour of silence and diligent working between the two of us.
"I've got two semesters left actually. I can't even believe it." She smiles at me proudly and I couldn't be more impressed with how far she's come. Like me, she struggled to stay consistent with school while juggling home life that sent her running from her mother the moment she graduated. Her mom was always great when I was around or ever need to place to crash when my own mother was nowhere to be found, but to J, she was quite cold and harsh. She's had her fair share of troublesome relationships but to see her excelling and shining like she deserves just warms my heart.
She had been working full time and going to school full time online at UT which was always her dream. "Damn look at you!! I'm so proud of my wittle Jaqueline." I tease in a baby voice. In response she chunks a throw pillow at my face, hitting me square in the nose, "Jeez! Was that necessary?"
"Well Capri said you drank all of my Pino so yeah I'd say it's necessary."
"Oh lord I'll buy you a new bottle." I roll my eyes at her as if she doesn't have three bottles in the fridge as we speak. She laughs and goes back studying when I get a call from Harry. "Hey my dude! What's poppin?" I say in a happy voice.
He lets out a boisterous laugh, "Well that's a new one for me. Just checking in. How was your day?"
I close my laptop, "Really good! I spent it hiking with J and her dog, now just having girl time. What about yours? Getting ready for tomorrow I assume?"
I can hear the wind on the other line and loud overlapping chatter indicating he's outside. "Very much so. It's been a eventful day to say the least."
"Hmm I bet. Are you going to tell me what the theme is?" I ask, fingers crossed.
"Absolutely not."
I scoff at his refusal, "Oh come on!"
"Not a chance, love. You'll have to be patient just like everyone else." I can hear the smirk playing on his lips.
"Whatever you say." I can hear someone holler his name through the receiver over and over again. "Jesus one second! Be right there!"
"Gotta go?" I ask.
"Yes m'sorry to cut our call short. You girls have a good night. Say hi for me?"
"Of course! Have a good rest of your night."
He hangs up and I set my phone back down on the side table and continue working. I see Jaqueline waiting for an update. "Ok what." I say abruptly closing my laptop. She laughs and shakes her head. "Just your face. That's what."
"And what about my face?"
"It's glowing that's all. Never seen you smile so damn big." she says with a shit eating grin. "I mean your new BFF has been calling you a lot lately." I can feel my cheeks heating up. "Oh my god you're blushing will you just confess your love already?"
"Ugh what does one even do in this situation. Like there's no way he likes me as much as I like him, J."
Jaqueline actually scoffs at me in disbelief, "Girl he's calling you all the time, like an excessive amount of calling. He's planning on coming back to see you in November too. I think that's a sign."
I shake my head at her. "J I'm just going with the flow right now. I won't get too attached because all that does is get me hurt, so I'm just riding the high right now." I'm clearly lying through my teeth as I am quite attached, but she doesn't need to know that.
She puts her palms up and defense. "Ok ok whatever you say, but the dude seems enamored by you that's all." I continue my work, ignoring her last comment. Her and Capri have observed our interactions more than once now and they keep saying this. I push down any ounce of feelings and stick to the Harry and I are not long term narrative. It's the only narrative that make sense and to be honest that is I could live with and handle.
If I can have him for a moment then I can live with that. No matter how short it'll be.
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Filler chapters are not my favorite so be nice please!