My foot repeatedly tapped on the carpet floor as my eyes focused heavily on a piece of lent that rested on my jean jacket.
"Lauren, you there?"
I looked up and Dr. Hubert was sitting across from me with a pad in her hand. I sighed and shook my head. It was becoming ridiculous how often I would come in for an hour a week and not say a word to her about anything pertaining to me.
"Yeah, I'm here," I finally answered while shifting my body to sit up straight.
"Okay, great. What do you want to talk about today?"
Dr. Hubert had got so used to me deferring and not talking about myself, that she was ready for our usual dissection of everything pop culture. I couldn't help but to crack a small smile. I fondled with my fingers and said the words that I thought I'd never give in and say to her.
"I'm think I'm ready to talk," I mumbled.
"To talk about you?"
I simply shook my head, waiting for her to start with her line of questioning, but nervous in the process.
"How long have you been married?"
"How'd you know I was married?" I asked with my brows arched, curious to know her answer. Dr. Hubert pointed and I glanced down to see that she was referring to my wedding band on my hand. I had forgotten that I still was wearing it at this point.
"Nine, almost ten years..."
"Wow, that's incredible. You must've married young considering you're only 28," she gathered.
"Yeah, right out of high school."
"How has that worked out for you two thus far?" she questioned me and I shrugged.
"It was decent for majority of the marriage, I guess. People just change as you get older and you start to want different things."
"Was? You're speaking as if your marriage is in the past, Lauren."
"It is. We're separated and have been for a few months now," I finally admitted to Dr. Hubert what I was in denial about.
"But you still choose to wear your wedding band, why is that?"
I started to play with the ring on my finger and wonder the same thing. It wasn't like I wanted stay in my marriage, at least I don't think so...
"I guess it's a familiarity thing. I've never taken it off, ever. So, it never crossed my mind to do it now."
Dr. Hubert wrote in her pad and I was curious to know what the hell she was writing about me in it. I think she caught my staring and placed it down on the table beside her.
"Are you still in love with your husband, Lauren?"
"Christian is my son's father, I'll always love him" I replied honestly.
Dr. Hubert nodded. "That's understandable, but are you in love with your husband still?"
I hesitated to answer her question. "Um, I don't know. I just can't be his wife right now. T-Too much happened."
"What happened?"
"A lot. I mean, the cheating in the beginning was expected. He's a pro athlete and he wasn't home too often, so that never surprised me."
"You were okay with his cheating?" I sighed deeply.
"I tolerated it...because he never brought his mess home most of the time," I finally confessed.
"Okay, so cheating didn't bother you...did you ever step out in your marriage?" I furiously shook my head.
"Absolutely not. I'm not a cheater. Never have been and I never will be."
"What was the last straw in your in relationship, Lauren? Why'd you finally leave your husband after almost ten years together?"
"I got tired. I couldn't be his---" I stopped dead in the middle of my thought while running my hand over a scar on the back of my head.
"Lauren, what did you get tired of?"
"Don't fucking play with me! You messing around on me?" Christian's grip on my neck was breathtaking.
I had to make a late night to the pharmacy to get Nas his ashma prescription, but as usual I'm being accused of something that is all in his head. If anything, his guilt eating at him again for stepping out on me.
"Ba-Babe, I can't brea--the." I gasped, trying to calm him down.
He let my neck go and he forcefully threw me in to to the kitchen island, hitting the back of my head on its corner. I landed on the tile floor face first. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was my son sobbing.
"Lauren, You alright?" Dr. Hubert asked, noticing that I had zoned out on her.
"Yep, just thinking about something."
"You're crying. Tell me what's on your mind right now."
I touched my face and didn't even realize that I had tears running down my face. "I don't want to talk about that right now," I told her and she simply nodded.
"No problem. We'll can always come back to that," Dr. Hubert handed me a tissue box and I took a few to wipe my wet eyes. I glanced back up at her with dry eyes and she was looking at her watch. "Actually, we can come back to that next session. That completes our hour. See you next week."
The middle-aged woman stood and I followed behind her. "Thank you, Dr. Hubert."
"No problem," Dr. Hubert rested her hand on my back as she led out of her office. I gave her a pleasant grin and exited quickly. I had a lot of things to do before work tonight.
Just as I got outside, my phone rang. Christian was still calling me non-stop and it becoming a bit much. When I got in the car, I answered him.
"What?"
"Hey, baby...." I mentally rolled my eyes at him acting like we're on good terms right now.
"What do you want, Christian? I have things to do."
I heard him sigh. "Laurie, when you and Nas coming back home? I miss you guys so much. This house is so empty without y'all."
"We're right where we need to be."
"C'mon now! Why you being so petty? I barely touched you and, now, you acting like I did something crazy. It was a little fight."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I should've expected it. Christian's been on another level of arrogant since his last big contract.
"I got sent to the hospital because you knocked me unconscious. And, yet, you're claiming that I'm being dramatic?" I uttered out of anger.
"Whatever, Laurie. Let's not act like you're so perfect. You're the main reason why I'm like this right now. I think Amara would agree...don't you think?"
"Don't you dare bring her up in this! She has nothing to do with you being a shitty person."
"You don't think you're a shitty person because if I'm not mistaken, you've made done some fucked up shit too."
"Fuck you!" I yelled at him and hung the phone. I couldn't argue with him today. I tried to control my breathing before I started to drive anywhere.
I rested my head on the steering wheel and closed my eyes. When I finally looked up, I glared at the wedding band and decided it was time to let it go. I struggled to get it off of my finger, but I played with it until it came off and tossed it out of my car.
It was time to completely let Christian go. I can't play nice anymore.
Vote, comment, and whatever else....
Hopefully, you guys aren't too upset about me cancelling the "Playing Games" book, but I assure you that this'll be better than that book was supposed to be. Plus, Skylar and Kyle will make quite a few appearances in this book. So yay!
How are we liking it thus far?
Be aware that these updates will be slower than y'all are accustomed too because I have 2 other incomplete works, so just bear with me in the meantime. Thanks!