(January 28th, 14 days old)
"She also had a blood culture done last night and her white blood count is back within normal range, which means she's clear of infection and it also means she's stable enough to be taken out of the incubator and moved, if you guys would like to hold her properly." Isla says, catching both the detectives by surprise.
Their eyes widen and Jay's mouth opens agape. Hailey's the first one to speak, her words coming out quickly.
"We can hold her?" She repeats what had just been said and it earns a smile from the nurse in return.
"That's if you want to, of course."
Jay and Hailey both nod fast simultaneously and it erupts a laugh from the nurse as she points to the chair beside the incubator. There's a brief look that the couple share before Jay steps out of the way, allowing Hailey to sit herself down while Isla removes the top of the box.
Hailey shifts nervously as she watches the nurse prepare her daughter to be moved and as if being able to read her mind, Jay gently rests his hand against her shoulder, squeezing it softly.
"It'll be okay." He reassures.
As she slowly picks her up, Isla nods. "And I'm right here with you, too. I promise you won't hurt her doing this, it's actually a great bonding experience for both of you, and it's a really positive thing for her also," she says and as she steps to where Hailey was sitting, she glances up at the detective. "I'm gonna put her into the neck of your shirt, Hailey, so you're skin-to-skin, it'll keep her nice and warm too."
Isla gently lowers the infant down into the neck of Hailey's shirt, placing her down on her mother's chest and ensuring that none of the wires were awkwardly placed. The moment she felt the little added weight sit on her chest, Hailey sucked in a breath and refused to let it back out again. With the nurse's help, Hailey got her hand on her daughter's rear-end to keep her up, while Isla supported her head. The nurse gently placed another blanket on top of the shirt for an extra layer and kept her gaze trained over her shoulder and focused on the monitors.
Hailey looks down at the small frame resting on her chest, feeling the soft, fast breaths she was taking and she finds herself smiling at the quiet grunting noises she was making.
She's so immersed in staring down at her daughter, who was taking in her surroundings slowly and resting her hand flat on her mother's chest, that she almost didn't hear Jay whispering her name beside her. She quickly looks up to meet his gaze and she sees his eyes glazed over, a smirk on his face as he jerks his chin forward slightly.
"You need to breathe." He reminds her and she lets out the breath she had been holding in without realizing.
She puts her focus forward as she feels Jay squeeze her shoulder once again and after watching the nurse for a beat, nerves seem to get the better of her as she asks, "Is everything okay with her?"
The question gets Isla's attention and she looks over at the detective and nods. "She's good."
Hailey can't help the little glance she sends to the monitor as she swears her heart momentarily stops when she sees the decreasing number on the screen. "Her heart rate is going down."
Isla sends a brief look back over her shoulder before she sends Hailey a reassuring smile. "She's just fine, she's calm."
"What?" Hailey furrows her eyebrows together.
"She can feel your heartbeat, she recognizes your voice, she feels safe." Isla responds and Hailey instantly feels her eyes beginning to sting as she quickly looks back down to the infant, who's eyes were just starting to close again.
Hailey lowers her chin slightly closer to her daughter and her voice cracks. "You remember me? I'm your Momma. You're safe with me, I promise."
xxx
A few minutes later, Hailey tilted her head up toward Jay still standing right next to her with a small quirk in her eyebrow. "You wanna hold her?"
Like he had done a few days prior, Jay stammers back on his words, taken aback, seeming to be a little unsure. "You haven't been holding her that long." He says.
Hailey sighs slightly, knowing what he was doing. She shakes her head and shifts in her seat slightly, getting the attention of Isla, who adjusts her own hand accordingly. "Jay, just hold her." She tells him.
And with that, Isla grabs hold of the infant again and lifts her into the air momentarily to allow Hailey time to get up to her feet and switch places with her fiancé. Jay sits down in the chair hesitantly and before Isla can move the infant back down again, he stops her and stares up at Hailey.
"Are you sure you're okay with standing? I can grab you another chair quickly if you'd like."
"It's okay, I can grab it myself. You just focus on what you're doing," she then shoots him a soft, reassuring smile. "You got this, and Isla's right here."
Jay just nods and looks back up at the nurse as she starts to move the infant back down again. The detective lets out a small shaky breath as he feels the nurse lower the newborn under the neck of his shirt, ensuring the same checks as she had done before. He could instantly feel the warmth coming from her chest and it brings and unconcious smile to his face as he follows Isla's instructions on where to put his hands and then the nurse moves away a step, allowing the father to pull the infant further into his chest a little, feeling that breath fall back out.
Everything seems to slow down as Jay drops his chin to his chest and tilts it to the side, mumbling quietly under his breath. "Hi... Hi sweetheart, it's Daddy.." he pauses for a beat when he feels his daughter squirm on top of him, stretching her arms out across his chest and feels the smile on his face grow wider. "I love you." He adds.
xxx
(January 30th, 16 days old)
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay doing all this?" Jay asks concernedly as Hailey climbs out of the truck.
She nods quickly. "I'm gonna be fine," she says, swatting his hand away when he offers to help. Her feet touch the floor and she slides out, reaching her arm over her chest to shut the passenger side door. "Besides, we need to get an idea of what we're gonna do, and how." She replies, joining him as he collected a cart from outside the store.
He silently asks if she wants to push the cart and she takes up on the offer, finding it a nice way of leaning up against something and taking some of the weight off her feet but she quickly found it was difficult to steer with only one hand. Jay figured she was having a problem so he jumped ahead of it, holding the front end of the shopping cart to make sure it didn't crash into anything.
They got through the main entrance doors before Hailey's eyes widened.
"Have you got the paper?" She questions.
Jay doesn't even look back over his shoulder as he pats the pocket to his coat. "Right here," he replies and he hears Hailey hum from behind. He peers his head around one of the aisles, not finding where he was looking for so he carries on stepping forward. "And remember, we're not here to buy anything today because I need an extra set of hands. We're getting an idea of the stuff we want to buy and then-"
Hailey bobs her head and cuts in. "We'll buy it in a few days, yeah you've said quite a few times already."
"I'm just making sure you remember before you try lifting a box of crib parts into the cart insisting you're fine." He checks a second aisle and keeps moving.
"I wouldn't do that."
Jay comes to a stop and raises his eyebrows up, looking over his shoulder with a disagreeing look. Hailey stares at him a moment longer before nudging the cart forward.
"Okay, keep moving or I'll run you over."
Hailey spots the smirk that pulls up the corners of his lips as he turns his head straight again, focusing on finding what he was looking for.
After a minute of silently walking, Jay lets out an unconscious "Ah!" as he finds the aisle he was after and he turns the front of the cart in the right direction, Hailey following behind.
He stops again in front of racks of timber and he darts his gaze over them, flicking through the options available. Hailey watches him for a moment until he pulls out a few slabs of the dark wooden shelves and places them in the cart, as to which she jerks her chin forward.
"I thought you said we weren't buying anything."
He keeps his attention trained on the racks, seeming to be looking for something else. "Anything heavy, and we've got a cart, might as well use it."
Hailey shakes her head to stop herself from smirking. "You're worse than me."
Jay completely jumps over the comment she made and instead shoots her a curious quirk in his eyebrow. "Now is it worth painting the dresser a lighter color and getting white shelves instead, those shelves are cheaper but painting the dresser would be a bitch or do we keep going with a dark wood theme throughout?"
Hailey narrows her eyes and stares at her fiancé for a beat. "I don't know."
"Or, bigger question, can you do white shelves with a dark dresser?"
Hailey just gives Jay the same look as before. "I don't know," she mumbles. "What do you think?"
Jay purses his lips as he darts his gaze between the dark oak in the shopping cart and the lighter ones on the rack. After a beat he puts his hand back on the front of the cart. "The dark will look better."
"Okay."
They start moving again and take a slow walk toward the other end of the aisle before Jay stops suddenly and looks over his shoulder to his fiancée. "Will it though?"
"Keep moving." She pushes the cart into the back of his thigh.
xxx
Later that same night, Jay joined Hailey in bed and stared over at the shelves hanging up on the wall in the corner of their bedroom - the area they had discussed would be sectioned off and would become their daughter's nursery.
He nods. "The dark looks better."
Hailey rolls her head to the side and knits her eyebrows together. "Why was it so important? I've never seen you second guess yourself on something like that before."
Jay shrugs. "I don't know, it's just that's gonna be her room, ya know? I just wanted it to be perfect."
Hailey feels a small smile pulling up the side of her mouth as she moves her hand over and rests it on top of her fiancé's. Then the smile wipes away and gets replaced with a slight saddened look. "I know, but it's not like she's going to be seeing it anytime soon."
He bobs his head, moving his hand out from underneath hers and putting it on top, giving her hand a squeeze. "But when she eventually does, I want her to love it."
The smile returns to her lips as she tilts her head to the side. "And because Daddy put so much attention into it, I know she will."
xxx
(January 31st, 17 days old)
"I got pepperoni, hope that's okay." Jay says as he enters the apartment, lightly kicking the door closed with his foot.
Hailey looked up from her phone and over her shoulder, watching him as trekked into the kitchen holding a pizza box and grocery bag in one hand and a six-pack of beers in the other. She nods subtly. "You must know that's okay." She jokes, sliding herself forward in the seat to begin to stand up.
With her twice weekly visits to Doctor Andrews, Hailey was finding moving her arm to be getting easier, and he had told her at her last appointment that if she kept up the exercises she would be able to lose the sling in the next week or two. However she was still finding it uncomfortable standing up and sitting down, despite how many times she would do it. Moving too fast or overstretching would cause a ping in her lower abdomen that would last a while, but at least it had been a few days since the pain had been so sudden and strong that it had made her sick.
Jay hears the shift on the couch and his head flies up from retrieving plates. "What are you doing?" His voice stops her in her tracks for a brief moment.
"I'm getting up." She points out the obvious as she continues what she was doing.
"I was gonna bring it over." He says.
Hailey shakes her head, getting to her feet. A small scrunch appears on her face at the slight pulling feeling as she stands. "I'm fine," she insists, "I've gotta keep doing it anyway, so it can heal faster." She says, making her way into the kitchen to join her fiancée.
She grabs the plate he extends out to her, thanking him in a quiet whisper before she reaches out and grabs a few slices of the pizza.
They fall into a silence for a few moments but in the corner of her eye, Hailey sees Jay open his mouth a few times as if wanting to say something. After watching him do it another time, Hailey turns her head to look at his profile.
"What's going through your head?" She asks.
Jay looks down at her, firstly confused pretending he didn't know what she was talking about before sighing and looking back down at his plate. He debates picking up one of the slices but decides to wait until he told her what he needed to. He clears his throat and swallows. "Voight called while I was out, he was asking me when I thought I'd be back at work."
"Oh." Hailey says, not noticing the solitary word that fell from her lips before it was too late.
"He said the unit is struggling with two members down."
Hailey nods softly. "Okay," she mumbles before furrowing her eyebrows. "Do you wanna go back?"
"Well yeah, of course I do..." He trails off.
"Then go back."
Jay edges his chin forward. "But what if something happens when I'm not here?"
Hailey turned on her heels slightly so she was more face-on with him. She shoots him a reassuring smile. "Then I will call you and you can meet me there."
"But you can't drive."
"Then I will get a cab," she says before putting her plate down on the counter and moving her hand to rest it on his arm. "Jay, go back to work."
Just then there's a knock at the door that cuts them both off. Jay looks over in the direction of the foyer and points his finger at her. "We'll continue this conversation in a minute." He says, putting his plate back down beside hers and taking off in the direction of the front door.
In the kitchen, Hailey took advantage of the fact Jay was gone, reaching into the open bag of pretzels on the side and taking a large handful before he hogged the rest, keeping a few lone ones in her hand to snack on while he dealt with whoever was at the door. She had just stuffed a couple in her mouth when she heard the familiar quiet voice from the foyer that stops her in her tracks, her face dropping when her mother calls out for her, footsteps getting louder as she enters the apartment.
Helen rounds the corner and her eyes seem to relax when she spots her daughter, reaching her hand out as she approaches the detective standing behind the counter. "Honey, are you okay? I haven't heard from you in days, I've been texting, I was worried. Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?"
Hailey cuts her off before she can go further. "The baby is fine, what are you doing here?" She asks.
Her mother readjusts her jacket to stop it from slipping off her shoulders, giving her daughter a look as if the answer was obvious. "I came to check on you, to make sure nothing bad had happened." She replies.
"Well I'm fine, you didn't need to come all the way out here." Hailey replies.
Helen took another step closer, almost standing against the other side of the kitchen counter at this point. "And are you recovering well?"
Hailey nods quickly. "Recovering great," she says before tilting her head to the side. "Look, Mom, we were just about to eat." She makes a small gesture to the plates sat on top of the counter and Helen bobs her head, seeming to take in the hint.
"Well I won't stay long, but your father will want to check on you too, he's just parking the car now."
Hailey feels her eyes widen at the mention of her father. "Dad's here?"
Helen crosses her arms over her chest. "Of course, he's been just as worried as I have been, he'll want to see for himself that you're okay."
"Mom, this is really unnecessary, I'm okay, there was no point coming by and especially no need to drag Dad from the diner."
Her mother leaned over the counter and rested her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Don't be silly, I hadn't heard from you in like two weeks, I had to check, it was my obligation as a mother."
Another loud knock at the door could be heard and Hailey sends Jay a look over her mother's shoulder as he slowly steps backward to answer the door. Just as he reached it, her father rapped his knuckles against the wood again, stronger this time. Jay swung the door open and her father moved straight past him, not acknowledging the detective as he entered his home, coming straight around the corner to join at his wife's hip.
"Hailey, where the hell have you been? You've scared your mother shitless by not answering your phone, it's not considerate and definitely not how I raised you." His voice is already on the louder side so rather than say anything snappy in return, Hailey's face drops slightly.
"Sorry." She mumbles.
Nikolas shakes his head. "Don't be sorry, just don't do it again. Your mother and I are getting older, bug, we can't be having you scare us like that, you'll put us in the hospital." He attempts to joke, his voice warming up as he cracks a smile.
Helen jumps in, wrapping her arm around her husband's waist. "Anyway, we should get going now."
Nikolas looks down and knits his eyebrows together slightly. "I've just gotten here."
She sends him a smile. "I know, but they were just about to eat."
The two look at each other for a moment before Nikolas nods, jerking his head to the side. "I'll meet you at the car." He tells her and Helen is hesitant about leaving for a beat before she grins up at her husband and moves away from him, making her way to the door. Nikolas watches her and then puts his gaze on Jay, standing on the other side of the room. The two lock eyes before Nikolas jerks his chin to the door. "Aren't you going to walk your guest out?"
Jay stares over at his fiancé's father for a moment longer and then the detective just nods. He sends a brief glance to Hailey, silently asking if she wanted him to leave and she sends back a subtle smile so he follows after Helen to walk her out, leaving Hailey alone with her father.
Nikolas took a step closer and Hailey tried to hide the way she felt her legs tense up as if they were getting ready to move suddenly. She drops her gaze to the floor, not wanting to look her father in the face when the inevitable scolding happens for not answering her mother's texts and dragging him all the way across the city. However, rather than raise his voice, it's gentle and quiet and it makes Hailey look back up and meet her father's concerned gaze.
"Are you okay, bug?" He asks.
Hailey's confused at first but doesn't let it show on her face. She darts her gaze between his eyes for a beat before she nods slowly. "Yeah, I'm okay."
Her father leans in closer, dropping his voice down even quieter, as if worried about being overheard. "Jay's being good to you, right? He's not taking advantage of you when you're hurt is he?"
Hailey knew exactly what he meant and she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from snapping in his face. She can feel her blood begin to boil as he waits for her answer, acting like the concerned father looking out for his child, protecting her from harm's way. By the look on his face he believed he was doing the right thing, looking out for his daughter and Hailey had to hold in the scoff at the back of her throat as she thought about the irony of it.
But rather than say anything, Hailey just shakes her head. "He's been great." She answers honestly.
Nikolas lowers his chin. "Well, if you need anything, reach out. And if that boyfriend of yours does do anything to you, tell me, I'll set him straight."
Hailey clenches her jaw to keep to herself and just nods, accepting the offer to get him to leave. She feels herself tense up once more when her father leans down and hugs her and she silently prays he didn't feel it. Too many moments later does he pulls away and say goodbye, reaching the front door just as Jay returns.
Nikolas stares at the detective as he passes him, leaving the apartment without saying goodbye, the house falling into silence once he's gone.
Jay waits a beat before he shuts the front door and treks back into the kitchen, joining Hailey by the counter. He doesn't have to say anything to her as Hailey just looks down to the floor.
"He's such an asshole." She mumbles.
Jay takes a step forward and slowly wraps his arms around her, lowering his chin down to rest on her shoulder. That's when he felt the small shakes that were making their way up and down her arms so he pulled her into his chest a little tighter, turning his head so he kissed her cheek.
"I'm sorry." He whispers.
Hailey shakes her head again. "Don't be, it's not your fault."
He holds onto her a moment longer before he pulls away, and that's when he notices her plate. He smiles as he softly jerks his chin in the direction. "You stole my pretzels." He mumbles as a way of trying to lighten the mood and it tugs a slight smirk on to the corner of Hailey's lips, momentarily bringing out the dimple on her cheek.
He then tilts his head to the side. "You wanna sit down?" He asks.
Hailey just bobs her head, but doesn't move straight away. Jay leaned forward and pecked his lips to her forehead.
"Go and get comfortable, I'll bring all the stuff over." He tells her, moving out her way so that she could get passed.
-
so a little bit of angst at the end, i couldn't be too nice with the fluff, but we're straight back to that next week again so had to mix it up a bit for the time being. thank you all for reading, see you all next week :)