TOM
Look, the internet definitely blew up when Zendaya posted that dumb fucking caption several weeks ago. But, I counteracted it with a quick story about how I was forgetful and didn't renew my visa. Y/N was right after I had slept off my stress and focused on work. Seriously, our publicists didn't even think it was that much of an issue to begin with.
I think it's mostly old news now but a lot of fans are still trying to petition for me to be allowed back to America. But to be honest, I'm really liking it being back home, it's a nice change to my lifestyle.
"Darling! You want to read my GQ piece before it gets published? They just emailed it through," I called out, holding my phone in the air as Y/N smiled and ran over to the bed.
She had finished her exhaustive skincare routine in the ensuite bathroom and was finally ready for bed. It was possibly one of our last nights together in this apartment, since we had recently signed a contract to a three bedroom townhouse in Covent Garden.
I think after the film wrapped and it moved to post production, Y/N and I really started to think more seriously about our future together. We didn't have work anymore, we just had each other and that was all we needed right now. It all happened so quickly, we started looking online, we had an agent arrange private inspections and then like magic we had signed a contract. I find that buying property always ends up moving far more rapidly than you anticipate.
"I'm so exhausted but I'm too excited about this interview to sleep so yes, yes, yes," she grinned, crawling into bed next to me and taking my phone.
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Disclosure: This is written by one of our GQ journalists from a phone interview with actor, Tom Holland. Some parts may be embellished to create cohesion in the written style.
Hello! It's Tom Holland here, giving you, the readers of British GQ an exclusive look inside my camera roll at the moment. So, without further ado, let's jump right in and have a look at some of my recent favourites.
Above: Tom Holland accepting his Golden Globe
Ah wow, this is such a cheesy photo to use as the first photo of this article but yes, this is me winning my very first Golden Globe award. It's currently sitting on top of my coffee table because I haven't found the best spot for it yet. It was such a shock to the senses because I was genuinely convinced I had no chance against my insanely talented fellow nominees; Sam Rockwell, Cillian Murphy, Mahershala Ali, Martin Freeman and Will Poulter.
I hadn't prepared a speech either, which if you watched it live or saw clips of it online, was very obvious. I was just a stuttering mess and I was talking absolute shit up on stage. I can't believe the lack of filter I had up there, like, come on man, get your shit together. I wont repeat what I said for the sake of looking like a wanker again, but I'm sure you could google it. My best tip to anyone out there nominated for an award of some kind, write some bullet points on what you want to talk about and stay sober for it.
Above: Cast of 'A Higher Power'
Okay, so this one holds a really special place in my heart despite it being ridiculously blurry and the quality looking like I took this on an iPhone 4 or something. Putting that all aside though, I took this on our first day of read-through's for my newest film A Higher Power. It was the first day that the entire cast were in the same room and hearing the scenes we'd been reading and studying alone, start to sound like an actual project.
I remember meeting Michael Caine for the first time and choking on my own saliva. It was so surreal, just seeing him in person and hearing his voice. His voice! Man, you just say the name Michael Caine and you can hear him inside your head it's so bizarre. But in all seriousness, this cast has already become so close and tight knit; I must say being mostly UK based helped because our senses of humour were all the same. Americans quite often don't get our blunt and self-deprecating style. Sorry to all the Yankee readers.
Above: Behind-the-scenes image taken by Tom Holland on set of 'A Higher Power'
This little behind the scenes shot was something I found really enlightening and eye opening being on set as an executive producer. The other producers and our genius director Shane Black really made me feel like my creative input was valued and appreciated, and that my voice was always heard. I loved seeing the more technical side to what people don't see, especially us actors who are used to being in front of the lens.
This scene looks quite grim and bleak without context. The film is really quite unique in that it's set in both the 70's and the 90's - two eras I obviously haven't spent much time in. I was just a little lad for half of the nineties! It was a whole new world to embrace myself in and step into which helped my characterisation a whole bunch. I also, for the record, have never been a member of a cult so I'd like to point out that learning about cults helped with building my character too.
I'm not personally someone who takes on a lot of 'comedic' roles but this film isn't your typical 'haha that's silly' type of comedy. Someone like Will Ferrell wouldn't be found within 100 kilometres of this script. Haha. It's R rated, it's deep, it's psychologically twisted but it's still a dark comedy at the end of the day and what you won't see is the amount of tears I've shed from laughing so hard each day with this cast.
Above: Tom's best friend Harrison Osterfield on set of 'A Higher Power'
Oh god, sorry Haz mate, this isn't flattering in the slightest hey? This is my best mate Harrison who we managed to work into the cast. It was pissing down with rain for so much of the shoot, which was perfect for the whole vibe of the film but it was SO muddy and SO cold and we stayed indoors all the time. The cool thing about having such heavy input with this film, was that we actually got to put my whole family and a bunch of my friends into the movie here and there. We always thought that Haz looked a bit like James McAvoy growing up so it was cool seeing them both together side by side.
There's multiple scenes where my character is twenty years older in the 1990's and he's doing this like, motivational speech kind of like a Ted talk to a live audience about his time in the 1970's. And the prosthetics I had to wear to look older were hectic, I seriously looked middle aged for real. So my family were all in the audience for that and my little brother Paddy has a line where he asks me 'Do you have any regrets?' which honestly took us like a solid thirty minutes to get right. Each take where the cameras were solely on me, he'd ask the most ridiculous questions to see if I would break character, and oh man, it was so fucking rough trying to be someone else around my family.
That's something I didn't realise was going to be so hard; having a British accent. I'm born and raised in London, I have always had an English accent and I always will... But fuck me, I'd completely forgotten what it felt like to act in my own accent. I think the first day at table reads I forgot and just whipped out an American accent and everyone looked at me like I hadn't read the script whatsoever. And there's definitely been times where Shane has called cut because I've slipped into an American accent accidentally.
Above Top: Alex Lawther. Above Bottom: Alex Lawther (left) and Tom Holland (right)
Something this movie really touches on is the closeted issues people faced thirty, forty, fifty years ago and how that still happens nowadays. We show light on queer sexuality, infertility, racism, death, heartbreak, drug use, alcoholism, mental illness and toxic masculinity. For background, these two photos are from a scene where the incredibly talented and wonderful Alex Lawther and I share a conversation about our characters inner turmoils. And because we're these two men sharing such deep secrets about ourselves, it completely breaks us both down to show us as these empty shells of human beings.
Above: Still images taken of Tom Holland in 'A Higher Power'
This one I just think are some cool shots of me in the film. I'd explain what I'm doing in them but it's kind of a spoiler and as many people now know about me, I'm notorious for spoiling movies. But yeah, being in this whole 70's style house the whole shoot was really cool. We got some sick photos from it.
Above: Still image of Tom Holland and partner Y/N L/N in 'A Higher Power'
Oh man, is it lame to say that this is my phone wallpaper right now? This one is a sneaky shot where my character and Y/N's character share a steamy moment. It's bizarre working with your partner, I'll admit that straight up. We wouldn't be on set together every single day which was nice, because we'd get to come home and share our stories from that day with each other. And a lot of the time she'd be there cheering me on from behind the cameras.
Not only is she making her acting debut in a supporting role in this film, she actually wrote the script with our director Shane. She is a fucking powerhouse of a woman, it's incredible to watch her work. After a countryside weekend away with my extended family, she was inspired to write this masterpiece. Then put the glittery sparkly executive producer title on top of that, and there's nothing that woman can't do once she sets her mind to it. I am constantly in awe of her brain.
Above: Y/N L/N asleep in between shooting scenes
And of course, being a wearer of many hats comes with extreme fatigue; Y/N sleeps whenever she has time. It's a super power, honestly. She can sleep anywhere and at anytime. She might not be called on set for forty minutes and she will manage to nap in that short break inside a trailer. I don't think she's seen this photo actually, sorry for when you see this darling, but I think it's so cute seeing her all snuggled up on the trailer couch.
But in all honesty, working with your best friend is something that I've had the pleasure to be able to do throughout my career as an actor. I think it's an uncanny knack when casting directors not only hire actors who fit the roles perfectly, but also get along with the rest of the cast when the cameras aren't rolling. I've met some of my closest friends through work and it's how I met Y/N.
Above: Tom Holland and his partner Y/N L/N. Originally posted on @hazosterfield's
Instagram story
Again, another blurry photo taken on a potato rather than an actual camera... I think my brother snapped this after we had finished a day on set and we were on the way to the pub for a drink. It's funny because this is such a main road in London and I completely forgot that we were in public and that I had to put on my 'Actor Tom Holland' persona rather than my genuine real 'Tom Holland' persona.
Being an actor is one of the greatest joys I have ever experienced, although I have come to realise that it's rare that you ever stop acting. Once the camera stops rolling, once the film is done, once you're in the Uber home or going out for drinks; you're still acting as the version of yourself the public wants to see. It's only until you're behind closed doors with people that you love, or just alone, that you're your truest self.
I have had periods where I have kept my private life pretty under wraps and periods where I have displayed my life to the world with open arms. I think in this industry you need to learn how to be selective in what you want to show people, and what you don't. I've endured the inevitable invasion of privacy at the best of times. Times where people have taken photos or videos of me at moments where I just wanted those moments to stay between myself and the person or people that I was with at the time. It's always a risk you take having this lifestyle that anything you do outside the comfort of your own home, can affect your image.
I think that really settled in recently when my deportation from the United States was brought to light in the public eye. It's not something I am ashamed about but it's definitely something I have learnt from. I mostly learnt that you should always renew your visa on time. And it's a bonus that the love of my life came with me to live in the UK, but more importantly I'm spending time making films and doing what I love in my home town. Shooting in the United Kingdom is a really nice change for me and it made me realise how much I love it here. It will be a bit shitty not being allowed into the States for two years though, but hey, you live and you learn.
Above: Tom Holland and partner Y/N L/N. Originally posted on her Instagram
Being lucky enough to have Y/N by my side through thick and thin is something I hope everyone can experience in their lives. I don't mean I hope she dates everyone in the world, I meant more like I hope everyone finds 'their person' at some stage in their lives. She is 100% my person and I wholeheartedly believe that. She helped pull me out of a deep and dark rut where I started to give up on the belief that I could truly find happiness in my personal life as an actor. And I know that sounds morbid and depressing but sometimes when your lowest lows are projected to the whole world, you lose faith in finding and maintaining something thats just yours.
And that's what true love is all about right? Finding your person and not wanting to let them go? Well whatever it is, I've found it.
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A/N: AND THATS THE END FOLKS!!! I'm sorry I really don't know how to end books I kind of run out of ideas and then just randomly have a last chapter so I'm really sorry if you guys hated this hahaha.
Honestly I can't believe y'all still read anything I write and it's crazy to see the amount of love you show me in each chapter. I love you !!!! Xoxo