❝It's down to this.
I've got to make this life make sense,
And now I can't tell what I've done.❞
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Phoenix stayed behind in the tent with Clarke and Bellamy, he didn't exactly want to leave Obinka behind, wanting to do anything he could to try and help. He, however, didn't expect for Clarke and Bellamy to have a heart to heart in front of him. He sat across from Bellamy, busying his hands with a piece of cloth. To avoid looking at them while they talk, because he decided if they wanted it to be private, they would have kicked him out.
“Octavia's not the only one who's changed, you know,” Clarke told Bellamy, glancing towards him with a small smile. “You could've killed those prisoners in cryo, but you didn't. Diyoza would have killed me if not for you. Madi would be alone.” Clarke nodded at him. “You got that bunker open.”
“Who knew it would turn out to be pandora’s box,” Bellamy muttered, his gaze flickering back and forth between Clarke and Phoenix.
Phoenix avoided his gaze, awkwardly glancing down at the cloth in his hand. “It wasn't always like that,” he told the two of them. “I can't remember much from the beginning, but she was still the girl you knew.”
The two acknowledged his words, quiet for a minute, before Clarke smiled at Phoenix. “You said you can't remember our time on the ground?” She asked. He nodded his head with a curious glance at her. “Do you remember the first words you said to Bellamy when I climbed down the ladder on the dropship?”
Bellamy, seeming to realize what Clarke was trying to do, turned his face towards Phoenix. His heart clenched at the hopeful expression in his eyes, so Phoenix had to look away while he shook his head.
“Your first words to me,” Bellamy tried, taking over for Clarke. “Was that someone must be playing a joke on you because I was ‘too —”
⋆❉⋆
Bellamy’s voice faded away as did the usual surroundings of the tent. It felt like Phoenix was being transported through time and space. The dropship he was on lurched forward in a crash, sending Phoenix's body crashing into his restraints, his head smacking against the seat next to him. The quiet was the first thing he noticed as the seat belts retracted.
He followed the rushing delinquents down the ladder and pushed his way to the front of the crowd. His eyes land on the man standing in front of the crowd, telling them all to back up. The man was handsome and well-built, his closely-cropped hair was slicked back, and his eyes were the most intense shade of brown Phoenix had ever seen. He appeared to be in a guards uniform, which made Phoenix look at him with a raised eyebrow, before glancing towards the crowd surrounding him.
“Someone must be playing some type of joke, right?” Phoenix spoke over the chattering of the crowd, looking back at the supposed guard. “You're too hot to be a guard, because let me tell you, the guards I've seen are all middle-aged.. besides you look too smart to be a guard, so why would you have the seat belts retract by themselves, i mean, there are murderers here,” Phoenix rambled, before he was interrupted by a blonde shouting that the air could be toxic.
⋆❉⋆
The familiar unrelenting pain behind his eyes caused Phoenix to gasp, his stomach heaving with nausea. He fell out of his chair, hands immediately going towards his head to try and put pressure to ease the feeling. He couldn't hear the worry in Clarke and Bellamy's voice, a loud buzzing sound went off in his ears as his vision blurred. Phoenix could feel rough hands pulling him towards a body, he assumed Bellamy's. After what felt like hours but was really only five minutes, the pain slowly began to subside long enough for Phoenix to smile sheepishly up at Bellamy.
“You're too hot to be a guard,” Phoenix told Bellamy simply, his voice still weak from the migraine.
He couldn't describe the warm feeling in his chest at the smile Bellamy sent him. Even the upcoming war couldn't stop the elated feeling at having remembered something. A real, true memory and not one fabricated by others. Phoenix noticed the look of hope that blossomed in Bellamy's brown eyes, because his mirrored it.
“You remembered,” Bellamy breathed, looking up at Clarke. “He remembered!” An elated laugh escaped his lips. “Even if it was just one memory and you nearly scared me to death.”
Before Phoenix could dwell on the victory for too long, shouts outside of the tent caused Phoenix to jump to his feet in alarm. The three shared a look before they hurried out of the tent. He came to a shocking stop beside of Clarke, eyes searching the distance until they fell on rolling clouds with lightening flashes. It was a sandstorm, as Clarke pointed out the obvious.
“It's blocking the way back,” Bellamy noted, standing on the other side of Phoenix with his eyes trained ahead at the clouds.
“Can we outrun it?” Indra asked, and Phoenix turned to look at Clarke for the answer.
“As long as it keeps moving laterally from East to West, we shouldn't have to, but if the wind shifts —” Clarke said, her head turning to look at them as she explained.
“The wind hasn't met Wonkru,” Octavia stated, which sort of surprised Phoenix. He knew she wanted that valley, but he couldn't believe she was still willing to risk all of their lives. “Now there's no choice,” Octavia said as she turned to face wonkru. “We keep moving.”
“Keep moving?” Bellamy asked incredulously, stepping in front of his sister. “Thanks to you, we're stuck between razor-blade winds, and burrowing, parasitic bugs.”
“Thanks to you, we're at war, Bellamy,” Octavia countered, staring her brother down.
“Only if you insist on fighting it,” Bellamy shot back. Phoenix was having a hard time keeping up with the conversation, he felt nauseated at the thought Octavia was willing to still risk their lives when either side would have casualties before they even got to start a war.
“Fight or die, that's all there is,” Octavia stated, shaking her head as she spoke. “You don't understand. I get it. Because you're not one of us,” she said, causing Bellamy to question whether or not Obinka was one of them.
“Guys, now really isn't the time for who's with who, okay?” Phoenix stepped forward in between the Blake siblings, just as Kara went to engage Bellamy, who immediately told her to stand down while another man told him to show respect for the Queen.
Phoenix took one last look at the two of them, before he raced towards the tent after hearing Obika’s scream.
—