Hello everyone! Firstly I apologise for the long wait. Despite exams finishing, I had to prepare for an interview for a school I wanna get into! I also got sick (:D). SO as compensation for the wait, this chapter is super long.
I am currently also in the process of re-editing this book, so if right now, small things don't line up, it's because of that. I'll be sure to iron all that out as soon as I can.
For now, enjoy this new chapter!
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As I sat in the ruins listening to Maeglor's story, I could feel the same thought revolving through my mind.
It...it couldn't be. It just couldn't be..
I felt my head shake vigorously. This had to be some sort of ruse...some elaborate scheme...right?
"I...I don't believe you," I uttered quietly, "my father would never do such a thing.
Maeglor scoffed with a shake of his head.
"That's what I initially thought as well. But-"
"Maeglor-"
"Just..." he interrupted, closing his eyes momentarily before directing his gaze into my eyes, "...just think about it, Daeriel. You are an intelligent person, capable of thinking logically. So just think."
Maeglor stood to his feet before me.
"Why do you think my father tried to kill yours?"
"For the power." I replied, glaring back at him.
But Maeglor just scoffed.
"Really? After a millennium of serving him dutifully, acting as his trusted advisor through hardship, war and adversity, never once leading him astray? Did you really think he was just 'power hungry'?"
I could find no words on my tongue to rebuff what he said. Maeglor just continued to speak.
"No. It was because whilst the kingdom was trying to recover from the plague, including your own mother, your father was in my home, doing nothing but tearing my family apart."
I couldn't help but wring my hands as the realisation slowly began to sink in.
Part of me wanted to believe that Gaerion's attempt at my father's life was unprovoked. I wanted to allege that anyone could snap at any time. But the other part knew that, as much as I hated to admit, Maeglor's words had some semblance of truth to them.
I knew his father, and how passionate Gaerion was about his role as my father's chief advisor. His sudden burst of murderous rage made no sense to me...until today.
Bitterness dripped from every single word as Maeglor paced before me.
"And the funny thing is, everything worked out fine for Arveldir—why?"
Maeglor shook his head, a mirthless chuckle falling from his lips, his voice heavy with resentment.
"Because he's the king, and the king can get away with everything," his voice rose steadily until his eyes were burning with frustration, "because everyone blindly follows the king!"
A tense silence followed as I tried to straighten out my thoughts as more and more of what Maeglor said slowly began to fit into place in my mind. As the crackling of the fire and calls of distant creatures ate away at the silence, all the strange occurrences, unexplained absences, unusual behaviour; small things that I never gave a second thought to now suddenly began to make more sense under the new light.
Was I to continue to ignore what began to feel like more and more plausible signs?
Observing my conflicted silence, Maeglor just scoffed, shaking his head.
"See? It is not as far-fetched as you may think."
"Look..." I slowly began, but he cut me off.
"It was the perfect lie for your father, wasn't it."
My brows knitted together in confusion.
Seeing this, Maeglor pursed his lips as he slowly paced before the fire, the wavering light from beneath him casting flickering shadows over his sharp, sunken features.
"My father, descendent of Eöl the dark elf and Maeglin the betrayer*, was painted as the power hungry-villain, my mother; the harlot, the whore who tried to seduce the king."
I was taken aback by the pure venom dripping from his voice, every word like a sharp blade made of ice.
My frown deepened as I racked my mind, trying to think back to the time in which these events supposedly took place.
"H-how come I did not hear of this?" I asked, my voice quiet.
Maeglor took a step closer towards me.
"Did you think Arveldir would ever expose his precious daughter to such matters, especially after you killed my father? No."
Slowly, I began to realise that Maeglor was right. And he could tell.
"Do you know what life was like for us after my father's death?" He questioned. "Whispers and looks of disgust on the street, stones through our windows, rotting animal carcasses on our doorstep, death threats..."
His voice seemed to falter on the last two words.
I couldn't help but widen my eyes as Maeglor listed the deeds done against his family. All this time, I had been oblivious, completely unaware of what my friend was going through.
Maeglor turned back around to face me, his eyes cold and hard.
"And what did you father do to help alleviate the troubles he caused? Nothing."
His expression softened slightly.
"My mother struggled to raise me on her own under these conditions." His eyes seemed to glaze over, as if reminiscing about his tragic past. "She stopped eating, sleeping, smiling, going out...until one day."
-
As much as people tried to hide it, Maeglor could always feel their biting stares boring holes into him as he made his way through town. It was unmistakable; the hushed whispers as he passed by, the loathsome combination of disgust and pity in every glance towards his direction; it was hell. One he could not escape from.
Ignoring the jeers from some elves across the stone pathway, Maeglor clenched his jaw, before approaching his home. If one could even call it that.
No longer did they reside in the palace as trusted members of the royal party. Not after Arveldir discreetly evicted what remained of their family.
Even Glaurielle, once his closest friend, no longer talked to him. As if they were nothing but strangers.
Now, Maeglor and his mother were left to fend for themselves in a run down hovel at the base of the mountain, left with nothing but a few scattered belongings and themselves.
Maeglor turned his eyes up at the royal palace that sat higher up on the mountainside, the white of the stone almost blinding in the sunlight, it's obnoxious spire of white and gold looming over the rest of the kingdom like an ever-watching giant.
What used to inspire wonder now sparked nothing but hatred, a pure loathing that burned within his heart.
Clenching his jaw, he turned back to his own house. Weeds grew unattended, sprawling across the sparse patch of dirt they were forced to call their 'garden', their strangling, invasive tendrils snaking up cracks in the age-old walls of the house. The once vibrant golden colour that once snaked around the pillars of the building had since faded into a dull grey and brown.
This was the side to the great elven city that rarely anyone ever knew or encountered. Or cared for.
And yet that wasn't even the worst part.
Scrawled all over the decrepit front door and surrounding surfaces were countless messages, either carved into the aging wood or painted in threatening shades of red.
"Gurgof." Traitor.
"Ci orch 'waur." Dirty orc.
"Avof nathlad 'werth min arnad vîn." We don't welcome betrayers in our kingdom.
"Firo." Die.
He liked to imagine that they were just words; nothing but harmless messages written by those with nothing better to do. But that façade was a difficult one to maintain.
At first, Maeglor spent hours trying to remove any evidence of such defacement. But when one hateful phrase was removed, three more would spring up in their place the next day.
Swallowing his rage and bitterness, Maeglor pushed open the door, entering the small dingy house. Inside was dark and quiet, the dust floating through the air made visible in the few streams of sunlight that made it past the wooden boards over the windows.
"Naneth? (Sindarin equivalent for 'mom')" Maeglor called, dropping his bag onto the wooden table in the middle of the room. "I bring food from the market!"
No response.
With a frown, Maeglor made his way into his mother's room to find her sitting on her bed, motionless, as if in a trance, her weary grey eyes seemingly glazed over. In the dim light, Maeglor could make out something clutched in Idhriel's hands.
"Nana?"
Hearing her son's voice seemed to snap her back to reality. The older elleth glanced up, quickly closing her fingers around what seemed to be a strip of paper.
But Maeglor's focus was immediately drawn to the expression on his mother's face. A pair of fragile, forlorn eyes stared back up at him, red, as if she had just been crying. Her usually perfect dark hair hung from her head in lifeless strands, for the first time ever, her millennium of life in Arda was beginning to show. His frown instantly deepened.
"What happened?" Maeglor asked, immediately rushing to his mother's side. "Who did this to you, tell me?"
But his mother just shook her head, standing shakily to her feet.
"No one did this." She whispered. "No one but myself can be held responsible."
"What do you mean?" Maeglor questioned, following after Idhriel as she walked out of her chambers. "Just tell me who and I will make them sorry."
His mother turned around, a melancholy smile decorating her expression.
"I'm so sorry Maeglor, for everything."
"Wh...what?" he quietly replied, his brows furrowing in confusion at his mother's reaction. After Gaerion's death, she had never been the same since, and yet...this was something different.
A quivering laugh fell from Idhriel's cracked lips.
"All this-" She gestured with trembling hands to their surroundings, "-is my fault...my doing, and now, you're suffering because of it."
His mother turned away, her voice falling to a whisper as she ran her fingers through her locks, as if she was talking to herself.
"I mean...what kind of a mother am I?"
Maeglor shook his head, making his way in front of his mother.
"No, mother." He denied, gripping her shoulders gently. "It's Arveldir, that lying, two-faced traitor. He ought to pay for what he has done to us."
Idhriel just averted her gaze. Turning away, she walked past the disordered pile of hateful letters littered over the table, making her way to the window.
Through the wooden boards, the ribbon of sunlight illuminated her sunken eyes, the once vibrant blue now a dreary grey, sunken and weary.
A prolonged sigh escaped her lips as she peered through the small openings at the world outside. The world which was once warm and welcoming had transformed in a blink of an eye to a hateful, malicious world, devouring any hope or joy left in her life like a bloodthirsty, ravenous beast.
All she had left was Maeglor, her innocent son...caught up in her mess.
As Idhriel turned back around to face Maeglor, he noticed a slight shift in her expression, one that he could not quite place his finger on. It was almost a new sense of calm.
"Are you alright, naneth?" He asked, his brows knitting together.
"Yes, my son, I'm fine." His mother softly replied. "I just need some fresh air."
Dusting off her pale blue gown, she made her way to the front door.
"I'll be out for just a moment, okay?"
Maeglor followed behind his mother, concern flashing in his eyes.
"Are you...will you be okay out there?" He asked, searching through his mother's eyes. "I will accompany you and make sure you're safe."
"No, it's okay. I'll be alright, I promise." Her voice was reassuring.
Idhriel placed a gentle hand on her son's cheek.
"Maeglor...from today onwards, things are going to change. But it will be a good change."
A small smile spread across her lips. And Maeglor could see that it was a genuine one. His mother brushed a stray hair from his face.
"And I want you to promise me that...that no matter what happens, you always embrace change. Promise me that you will keep moving forwards with your life, embracing new paths like the flowing waters of a river. Promise me, ionneg."
Maeglor shook his head in confusion at his mother's sudden ambiguous words.
"Nana, why-"
"Just promise me." His mother insisted, her eyes pleading with his as she grasped his hands. "Please, for me."
"I-I promise." Maeglor relented, still unsure why.
Hearing those words, the soft smile returned to Idhriel's expression. She placed a hand on Maeglor's shoulder, before pulling him into a sudden warm hug.
Instinctively, Maeglor returned his mother's embrace, leaning into her presence. He closed his eyes. No matter how cold the outside world had become, his mother's embrace was always a source of warmth. A source of comfort and reassurance.
Reassurance that everything would be okay, as long as she was there.
"You have always been a perfect son to me, Maeglor." Idhriel murmured as she held her son close. "And I want you to know that I love you so, so much. No matter what happens."
Maeglor nodded, unable to stop the tears welling up in his eyes. He had no idea what spurred this sudden burst of emotions in his mother, but if she promised things would get better, then he believed her. After all, she was his mother. He trusted her.
They pulled apart, her eyes meeting his. His mother's voice fell to a whisper, and Maeglor could hear a slight quiver in her voice.
"Do not ever forget that, my child."
"I won't." He replied sincerely. "I love you too, nana."
Idhriel smiled. Reaching behind her, she unclasped the gold necklace around her neck, the pendant of the golden feather glimmering slightly in the afternoon sunlight. Their family crest. Placing it into Maeglor's hands, she closed his hand around it.
"This is yours now." Her voice was quiet. "It's a symbol of our family, and I want you to have it."
Maeglor nodded, clutching the necklace in his hands as his mother sent him a small smile.
"It's time for me to go now." She softly announced as she straightened her posture. Drawing in a breath, she opened the door, before stepping outside.
"Wait," Maeglor called after her, "when will you return?"
Idhriel paused. As she turned back around, Maeglor could see her eyes glimmering in the afternoon sunlight.
"Goodbye, ionneg (my son)."
And with that, she turned back around, before walking away, humming a soft melody from her lips.
As the tune of Maeglor's childhood lullaby drifted into the air, Maeglor watched from behind boarded up windows as his mother's figure grew smaller and smaller, until finally, the sound faded into the distance, and the house fell silent.
For the first two hours of silence, Maeglor wasn't worried. After all, his mother used to love taking long walks, especially along the banks of the river that flowed from the waterfall, winding through their city like a great python, the rushing of the river drowning you the noise from the rest of the world
But as the shadows lengthened and the sun slowly began to dip closer and closer to its sanctuary behind the mountain, Maeglor's concern grew.
Maybe she just needed a lot of time to think, he thought to himself with a frown.
But as the seconds ticked by, he could not suppress the worry bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He strained his ears, listening for any sign that Idhriel had returned. But he was met with nothing but a cold, empty silence. His mother had not come back.
His frown deepening, Maeglor closed his book, before standing to his feet. Slowly, he walked through the house, his footsteps echoing into the quiet of the incoming dusk.
Gently pushing open the door to his mother's room, he stuck his head in. Peering into the room dimly illuminated by the waning light of the sun, he saw nothing out of the ordinary.
Just about to shut the door again, something small and white on the floor caught his attention. Walking into the room, he crouched down. It was folded piece of paper.
This must be what she was holding earlier, Maeglor concluded.
Unfolding the piece of paper with his fingers, his eyes widened as the small words scrawled on it became clear.
"You have no place in this kingdom.
You have betrayed your morals, betrayed your kingdom; your people. But worst of all, you have betrayed your family. Your son."
The cogs and wheels in Maeglor's mind spun faster and faster as he pieced together each sentence word by word. He furrowed his brows, struggling to rationalise what he saw before him, all the while trying desperately to control the growing sense of resentment that slowly began building up in his mind .
Still, he continued to read.
"And now, your son is forced to live in fear, without a home, without a life.
A betrayer has no place in this kingdom, but a bad mother has no place on this earth."
Maeglor felt his fists clench as he read the harsh words of the final line, the paper crumpling in his hands as anger surged through his veins.
How could anyone say this about his mother? How could anyone be so heartless, so cruel to accuse a struggling, misunderstood woman fending for her son of being a bad mother?
But before he could act upon this rage, a thought dawned upon
Did this anonymous letter have anything to do with her cryptic behaviour today? And where was she right now?
Putting down the book, Maeglor grabbed his mother's cloak, just in case he found her after the warmth of the day had faded. As the sun slowly began to sink behind the great mountains, Maeglor stepped outside, his eyes scanning his surroundings.
His eyes fell upon a couple who lived not far from them walking along the stone path.
"Excuse me!" He called as he approached, trying to come off as friendly, though a faint sense of worry continuously ate away at the back of his mind. "Excuse me, have you seen my mother, Idhriel?"
The golden-haired elleth just scoffed. "Have you tried the King's personal chambers? Or perhaps the Vice-Regent's bed?"
To Maeglor's disgust, her dark-haired spouse chuckled cold-heartedly in agreement.
"Idhriel seems to fall at the feet of any man who has power these days." He added contemptuously, before walking away, his equally spiteful wife following after him with a smirk.
Maeglor could only stare at their backs in anger as they continued to laugh. Elves were always revered as graceful, elegant and noble, but in the past week, Maeglor had seen a side to his own people that he never knew. Today's letter was just another blow in an endless tirade of hatred and spite.
So this hostility was nothing new. It just showed how successful Arveldir was at turning the entire kingdom against a single woman. Even his closest friend. Even his Elle.
Shaking her head, Maeglor furrowed his brows, trying to redirect his focus from his own personal hatred back to finding his mother. She was most likely by the river, he thought to himself as he turned towards the direction of the waterfall.
After what happened today, she probably just needed more time.
As the distant roar of the waterfall drew closer, and the sounds of the kingdom faded behind him, Maeglor deeply inhaled, feeling the fresh air enter his lungs. He could definitely understand why his mother loved spending time out here.
"Naneth!" He called out, his voice echoing into the distance. "Naneth, let's go home!"
No response.
The sound of rushing water rippled through the air, reaching Maeglor's keen ears. Perhaps she was by the river, he assumed.
With an exhale, Maeglor began to make his way down the pathway, descending the slope of the mountain towards his mother's favourite spot at the base of the valley. As the glimmering surface of the crystal-clear water came into view Maeglor could see no sign of anyone on the banks.
"Mother?" He called out once again.
He could hear the murmuring of the river and crunch of the gravel and pebbles beneath his shoes as he approached the edge of the river. The cool breeze of incoming dusk sweeping through the surrounding trees, creating whispers that accompanied the rest of nature's symphony.
But still no response.
As his eyes followed along the path of the river upstream, something drifting towards him caught his eyes. He frowned, unable to make out what it was exactly.
Some driftwood? He squinted. No... it was...a large piece of fabric?
But as the object drifted closer, to his horror, Maeglor could make out a humanoid shape. And it was familiar.
The familiar fair skin. The familiar black hair. The familiar pale blue dress.
Maeglor's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as the terrible realisation struck him. Idhriel's cloak falling from his hands, Maeglor leapt into the river, the cold water a shock against his skin as he waded frantically towards the motionless body of his mother, drifting slowly along the current.
"Nana!" He cried as he caught her body, feeling tears burning his eyes as he hurriedly turned her onto her back, his heart pounding relentlessly against his ribcage.
"Amman, nana (why, mother)... " he pleaded desperately, his voice falling to a whisper.
What did you do, what did you do, what did you do? The same thought flew through his grief-stricken mind over and over again
With trembling hands, he brushed the wet hair from out of her face to reveal the painfully familiar complexion of the person he cared for most on this earth, once warm and vibrant, now cold and lifeless.
Cradling his mother's dead beady in his arms, a gut-wrenching cry escaped his lips as sobs tore through his entire body.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to go like this. She wasn't supposed to go...at all.
She promised.
For what felt like eons, Maeglor stood, unable to move, unable to do anything but hug his mother's body close to him as he wept, praying desperately to the gods above for a miracle, for this to all be a dream.
So desperately, he prayed to see her warm smile again, to feel the comfort of her presence and her motherly embrace one more time. That was all he wanted.
But alas, they remained silent, as usual. And he cursed them for it, the stab of betrayal and hatred towards them, towards Arveldir and the kingdom; towards everyone who had wronged them slowly beginning to take form within.
How could he return home without her? Without her, there was no home, just a deathly silent house and an empty bedroom. How could he possibly go back knowing that his mother's voice, her smile, her warm presence would never fill the house again.
That she was gone forever.
And yet, as Maeglor stood waist-deep in the river, he knew he could not hold onto her forever. He had to let go.
Some of his mother's last words echoed in his mind, bringing fresh tears to his eyes. The promise she had him make: to always embrace change.
"Like the flowing waters of the river".
Her cryptic words slowly began to make sense. She knew she wasn't coming back. And she wanted him to move forwards, as much as it hurt him.
Letting out a small exhale, Maeglor bent down, placing one last kiss onto his mother's cold forehead.
"Díheno nin, nana (forgive me, mother)." He whispered tearfully as he slowly released his grip on her body.
Holding back more sobs, Maeglor straightened his posture, trying to maintain his composure as he let the river current carry her body further and further away
She always loved the river. And now, she was a part of it.
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*Eol and Maeglin were elves of the first age, father and son (respectively).
Eol once travelled to Gondolin, a hidden elvish establishment to find his wife and son. However when he wished to depart with his son, he was forbidden, since no one ever leaves the hidden city. Out of anger, Eol tried to kill Maeglin with a poisoned spear. Instead, he killed his wife who leapt in front of the spear. As a result, Eol was put to death, thrown off the cliff of Caragdûr on the side of Gondolin. As he fell, he cursed his son to suffer the same fate.
A century or so later, Maeglin ended up betraying the location of the hidden city to the dark lord Morgoth, who promised him rule of the kingdom and the woman he was obsessed with in exchange. When trying to capture this woman, Maeglin fought with her husband and ended up being thrown over the walls of Gondolin, falling to his death.
Feedback? comment here please, it's been quite a while and I'd love to know how you think I'm going!