CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
butterfly's repose — part two
" 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖕𝖔𝖔𝖐𝖞 𝖘𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓 𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓. "
𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐀𝐃. At least Selene thought so. Bad is a loose term ─ all transformations are bad. But October was Selene's favourite month. The grounds were at their prettiest in the coldest seasons and although she didn't see a lot of them when trapped in her cave deep in the Highlands, the walk to and from, while achy, was stunning.
It was still lonely, still stressful, and still painful, but that was to be expected. Selene was glad the summer season was gone and the colder winds and crunchy leaves were making a return to the Hogwarts Castle in Scotland. When burdened with Lycanthropy, one must find the good in things, and Autumn was her silver lining.
When the nurse appeared from behind the curtain and did her routine checkups, she noticed Selene to be in a better mood than what is usually expected of a girl who had just gone through tremendous pain. Although there were some obvious new scars on her upper left forearm, the amount and intenseness of the cuts weren't nearly as bad as other times she had seen Selene post-transformation, and there was nothing else concerning regarding the girl's health. In fact, Selene wore a smile.
"You seem happy," Madam Pomfrey commented. She took a step away from the bed, checkups complete, just to admire the chipper mood that radiated off of the patient.
"I just love Autumn," Selene shrugged, her smile dimply and nostalgic.
Despite the daunting curtain divider that separated her from the rest of the hospital wing, Selene was blessed to have her usual bed located right in front of a large window. When she turned her head just enough to look past the glass, in a way that didn't bring her pain from all the twisting, she could watch the pretty autumnal picture outside go by.
Pumpkin hues, with cranberry highlights, a canopy of leaves dusting the path so much so you almost couldn't see the gravel beneath. Golden sunlight pierced through bare trees and the cadence of crisp afternoon air and crunching leaves swung through the courtyard harmoniously. She liked having a steaming hot drink beside her, and a cinnamon treat on hand.
Madam Pomfrey ahhed in understanding, smiling at the girl's admirable strength despite the tough time. "Any plans for Halloween, then Selene?" The lady asked.
Selene ooed. It was a great question. Because she had no plans whatsoever, only a joke that she had been thinking about for years with Lycanthropy. "Thought I would transform into a werewolf, this year," she said, nodding in thought, forcing seriousness. "A hyper-realistic costume would freak everyone out, right?"
Madam Pomfrey cackled, her head tipping backwards. "Hilarious, dear." After resting a gentle hand on Selene's from where it was resting atop the bedsheets, and giving it an encouraging squeeze, the head nurse left the girl to rest. She left the compartment and headed over to the other side of the ward where she planned to do the exact same thing to a different student.
"Any plans for Halloween, Remus?" Poppy didn't put much thought into her question. She always followed the exact same routine for both of the Lycanthropy students and so she often found herself repeating the same words to each of them.
Remus pushed his palms into the mattress to sit himself up a little straighter against his pillows. "I was considering showing up to a party as a werewolf," he smirked, before relaxing and clasping his hands on top of his lap causally. "Couldn't fault my costume, could you?"
The boy was grinning now, evidently proud of his childish wisecrack despite regularly joking about his condition to mask the pain he truly felt. But Madam Pomfrey couldn't bring herself to smile along like she usually did. Because his answer had thrown her off.
"Hm." She had come to a halt, hovering over the cabinet beside his bed, fresh bandages in hand, but making no movements to do anything with them.
Remus' smile faltered. "Something wrong?"
The nurse had to shake herself out of her momentary daze. "Nothing wrong, dear," she assured him, now beginning to change the single bandage on his hip where the only new scar resided. "Just a shame the timing is off, ey?" She chuckled nervously as she tried to cover up her hesitation with a joke, the same way Remus used humour to heal his own emotional wounds.
Satisfied with her response, Remus' cheeky grin returned. "A tragedy really."
Madam Pomfrey walked out of Remus' confined curtained space still slightly disorientated. Both Lycanthropy patients had precisely the same reply to her question. Different wording, same idea, as if their minds were linked. Neither Selene nor Remus had any idea of the other's presence in the same hospital ward, and yet they had connected on a sort of injured, anguished level.
It must truly be spooky season.
✽
𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆, free from her illness until the next full moon came along. Despite still being a little achy, her fresh scars stinging when she got them caught on her robes, Selene was rearing to get out of bed. Being the hard-working academic that she is, she wasted no time getting back on track with not only her school work, but all of her extracurricular commitments that required her full attention as being a werewolf tended to make her unavailable regularly.
Autumn was well underway by mid-October. A blessing if she ever knew one. Selene had scored a window seat in the library, where she sat and waited for Dallas to arrive for their weekly tutoring sessions. The sky rained brown leaves, so tinted orange, that it appeared they were burnt at the edges. The grassy floor was scattered by their masses, and the branches were skinny and spiky with cold. The sky was a grey canvas for sprinkled clouds, which shifted with the distant sun.
The small Gryffindor snagged her out of her admiration for the autumnal backdrop. He grinned at her from across the lengthy wooden table, books clutched tightly to his chest. "Good afternoon, Selene."
He made her smile. "Hello, Dallas."
A series of ruffling of paper and bags hitting desks and chairs scraping floors then ensued as the boy got himself comfortable on the chair beside Selene, seemingly blissfully unaware of the commotion he was making in what is usually an intensely quiet hall.
Dallas had his bag still open on his lap once he was done making a racket. From what she could see, even in the dim lighting, Dallas' bag lacked any kind of organisation, parchment crumpled at the bottom, pens loose, books folded at the edges. It made Selene's toes curl in her shoes.
Dallas then turned to Selene, severity forcing creases into his otherwise callow features. "I'm in desperate need of some hunt help."
Selene had come to learn over the years that Dallas had his own language, his personal way of communicating that took some time to get used to. Even with her experience of the Murphy boy, Selene still didn't quite understand what this meant.
But then he retrieved a particular thick textbook from the inside of his haphazard school bag and plunked it down onto the space between them. It made considerably more noise than anything else he had done so far.
Across the top of the textbook which was wrapped in a worn grey-blue leather, were the words A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot in metallic-silver lettering.
Selene nodded in understanding. "Ah."
An hour into the 14th-century Witch Hunts, the two were disrupted by a petite Hufflepuff, her hair just as yellow as her tie. Selene believed she had seen the girl pacing up and down the library several times just a few minutes ago. She was alone, and clearly very shy. She shuffled timidly from behind the bookcase and advanced towards their table.
"Sorry," she whispered, the library setting something she took very seriously, approaching with caution, "but there aren't any other tables available. Do you mind if my tutor and I study here?"
It was a long table, seating eight. Selene and Dallas barely took up a quarter of the area where they were shrouded in towers of books. Dallas was looking up at the girl with a look of recognition and she was returning the same one.
Selene made sure her smile was welcoming and friendly. "We don't mind at all."
Dallas' gaze shot to hers. He gave her a warning look, his eyes tipping down at the creases. "But I like having a table to myself-"
She lightly kicked him under the table and his lips came to a rapid close. Selene knew what it was like to be shy even at seventeen. Being what Selene assumed was no older than a third year and talking to one of the oldest students in the year was not going to be an easy feat for an anxious individual such as this tiny Hufflepuff. Especially when it seemed as though she and Dallas knew each other.
"Please feel free to sit down."
The girl smiled appreciatively, her shoulders drooping in relief, her whole body visibly releasing a heavy bout of tension. As she then began to settle on the chair furthest from them on the opposite side of the table, her bag on her lap, unpacking the contents onto the desk in front of her, another visitor rounded the corner, halting abruptly when he reached their table. Recognition flooded his face for the yellow-haired girl at the end of the table. His mentee had found them a space in the very busy library.
Remus saw Selene before she saw him.
"Selene?"
The Ravenclaw's head, which was once bowed, her fingers trailing the words of Dallas' History of Magic textbook lifted when he said her name. She could practically hear the pleased smile in the tone of his voice.
She lifted her chin to meet his longing eyes, his smile so contagious, the same expression forced its way onto her own face without her even trying to stop it.
"Remus."
He didn't make any signs that he was planning to move and sit down, and the two younger years' eyes were flitting between the older students. Remus appeared stunned that he was going to be sitting at the same desk as her. Selene decided to speak first. "Are you a student tutor too?"
"I am," he nodded. Selene didn't think she had seen someone so enthusiastic about tutoring someone three years younger than him. When Selene's lips tipped up in a way that was more obvious to the boy still standing in the aisle, Remus' shoulders went slack, looking just as relaxed as the girl had when she was given permission to sit with Selene and Dallas.
Remus now grinned teasingly. "Although I should have guessed you were one."
Selene was flattered. She didn't even get to respond because Dallas, who was hoping to have his revision on the Witch Hunts for his test the next day done in two hours so that he could play chess with his friends, was ready for this interaction to end.
He also felt something very strange brewing in his stomach and he wanted to mark his territory.
Forcing an unpolite smile in Remus' direction, Dallas said. "She's great."
To Dallas' dismay, Remus replied with: "I know."
The younger Gryffindor was under the impression that he was Selene's favourite Lion. Clearly, she was fond of this one too.
"Sorry about having to squash onto one table," Remus said, taking up the seat beside his mentee. They were on opposite ends, the two furthest seats away from each other. "We'll try not to be too loud."
Selene smiled appreciately and not because Remus was going to go out of his way to not disturb her, but because he had disturbed her. She motioned to the boy sitting next to her with a tilt of her head and joked, "No promises for this kid."
Dallas' head snapped in her direction. "Hey!"
After the three of them chuckled at Dallas' expense, the blonde girl resumed asking Remus about something or rather, and Selene took that as her time to refocus her attention on why she was really in the library.
Twenty minutes later, they were done with Witch Hunts.
"Now," Selene sighed, grateful to have the bulk of the work done, "have you got that essay you wanted me to oversee?"
Dallas' eyes sparked up in recognition, before he bent over towards the floor, grasping onto his bag. As he lifted it towards him, it knocked Selene's arm quite roughly. She felt the zippers and the edges of the various items inside scrape against her skin, where fresh scars from the month's transformation still stung raw.
Before she could stop herself discreetly, she hissed in pain, muttering what she hoped was quietly: "Ouch."
But her fingers were already subconsciously brushing against where the injury was singeing under her robes.
Dallas, noticing her visible pain immediately, winced apologetically. "Oops, sorry Selene."
Not wanting to draw any more unwanted attention to herself, Selene let the boy continue his search for his essay. "It's okay, Dallas. Just a bruise."
They were so close together that Remus couldn't help it. He watched closely, almost invasively, as she rubbed her arm, up and down, up and down. Her fingers bent at their joints and it was almost as if she was scratching herself, imitating claws dragging along flesh. Something similar to what Remus was doing with to own hip a couple of nights before.
He was hallucinating. She was just bruised and needed relief after Dallas knocked the hefty bag into her muscle. He was far too close to her but Remus needed to focus because his mentee needed his undivided attention.
Selene read Dallas' essay rapidly. Her legs were falling asleep ─ as was the rest of her for that matter ─ and her backside was growing numb from how long she had been sitting down in the same seat.
Fighting a yawn ─ it was only seven o'clock ─ Selene let the parchment flop onto the desk in front of her and she turned to the boy whom it belonged to. "Okay, so you've nailed the structure but-"
"I knew there was going to be a but," Dallas huffed, disappointment flooding his face.
"Don't fret, okay? It's not bad at all. Some of your facts just need a bit of . . . polishing."
Dallas stared at her. "And by that you mean, they're wrong?" He deadpanned.
She winced. "Just a little inaccurate, that's all."
"Ugh," Dallas groaned, "but it's due tomorrow!"
"It's fine," Selene sighed. "We'll just stay a little longer and go over the things you did wrong."
"You don't mind?" Dallas' voice was small as if he was retreating in on himself.
Selene won't lie, she wanted to go back to bed. The hospital wing may be a place she is forever desperate to escape, but at least there she can disappear and drift off to somewhere undisturbed. The transformation was still weighing heavy on her bones and sleep was calling her name, but she had a duty to help Dallas. And she was going to go through with it.
"I don't mind at all."
Selene was just about to open her mouth and start with Dallas' inaccuracies when the Hufflepuff girl a few feet away from them, shyly shifted in her seat to face them. "Sorry, Dallas, but is that the Wideye Potion essay due for Slughorn tomorrow?"
Dallas went pink. He clearly wasn't expecting any more interaction with this girl today and was at a loss for words.
After a painful couple of seconds of silence, Selene answered for him. "Yes it is," she said. Dallas finally had the courage to nod.
The girl turned quickly to the tall scruffy Gryffindor and said, "Remus, do you think we could do Herbology another day? I really need to go over this essay."
Remus' eyes flitted to Selene although the girl in question can't figure out why. He shuffled where he sat and nodded. "Of course. Whatever you want."
But as the four of them descended into studying talk, all of them couldn't help but notice that the same words were being repeated, their speech matching up to the other duo on the other side of the table. It came to the point where Selene and Dallas were so distracted by the similarity of Remus and the girl (Selene had yet to learn her name) and vice versa, that they weren't really making any progress with each of their respective essays.
Emboldened maybe by her exhaustion, Selene stopped her sentence and fixed her gaze on the pair down the table. "Maybe we could all just . . . study together?" She suggested, her confidence wavering as soon as she discovered they were listening intently to her.
Remus smiled. "Took the words right out of my mouth."
Once the Gryffindor and the Hufflepuff were settled on the chairs opposite Selene and Dallas, right by the window, the blonde girl stretched her arm out to Selene. "I'm Emery," she said. Emery didn't look at Dallas once ─ they definitely knew each other, and, for thirteen-year-olds, that was a very awkward fact.
Selene shook Emery's hand. "I'm-"
"Remus said your name was Selene," Emery cut her off. Come to think of it, the young girl was right ─ they had addressed each other thirty or so minutes ago. "He mentions you quite a lot."
Dallas cackled so loud he had to smother it with his fist. Remus' cheeks were painted red. Emery smiled indifferently. And Selene bit her lip demurely.
"He does, does he?" She teased, just about holding Remus' embarrassed gaze. "I thought he was supposed to be your tutor."
"She's lying," Remus said. "I'm a great tutor. We get a lot done." He spoke fast, his voice toned defensively. Dallas just laughed some more.
"Well then," Selene said, fighting her own chuckle, and trying to stop her own cheeks from heating up. She carefully placed her clasped hands onto the vacant space in front of her. "Let's see just how much we can get done then, shall we?"
✽
"𝐖𝐎𝐖, 𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐘. 𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒."
"You're welcome?"
Dallas Murphy was walking away from his weekly tutoring session with Selene very satisfied. Not only with his Outstanding essay that would no doubt leave Slughorn stunned, but also that he had made a friend out of the shy girl in his classes that he had always wanted to talk to.
He wasn't, however, happy that Remus didn't stop looking at Selene the entire hour they spent working together on the younger students' essays but he supposed he'd get over that.
Throughout the course of the hour they had spent huddled together by the ever-darkening window in the library, not only had they been productive, but had also managed to enjoy what should be mundane school work. Dallas pulled through with his unintentional humour, Emery's handwriting had stunned Selene, and Remus had accidentally-on-purpose brushed his hands over Selene's on numerous occasions and blamed it on the fact they both kept leaning over the table to pick up on this or that in the younger one's essay. They laughed over spilled ink, and shared a bar of chocolate Remus said he had left over.
"Same time next week?" Emery said, her eyes hopeful as they packed up their things, two perfect essays written, the entire library grateful to see the loud bunch go.
Selene and Remus shared a look. They had a silent conversation neither of them was prepared to be able to understand because they hadn't been friends for very long.
Did she mean all of us?
Maybe?
Could we do that?
I think so.
"Sure," Selene grinned amiably back at Emery, whose backpack was now firmly strapped to her back.
"Definitely," Remus also answered. He couldn't believe his luck. Spending time with Selene, accidentally, while also being academic and looking good for his future employment application? Brilliant. He had previously led Selene away from the library when she suggested they hang out there, but this time was different. This time hadn't been planned, it was spontaneous. And it worked so well.
Dallas and Emery walked a few paces ahead of them, conversing gauchely, as young children did when faced with the unfamiliar opposite sex. Dallas was clutching his books so tightly to his chest, his knuckles were turning white.
Selene watched from behind how they had formed a little group of four. They left the library, each pushing open one of the double doors and a thought occurred to her when she realised the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws didn't go in the same direction from this point on.
"It's like we have our own little study group," she said, a fond smile lighting up her face.
Remus came to a stop just outside of the library entrance and turned to her, his forehead creasing attentively. "You know, Selene," he said, briefly looking over at their two mentees who looked confused as to why the older two had stopped. "That's not a bad idea at all."
Selene tilted her head back so she could analyse the pensive boy who towered over her by a good few inches. His expression was full of thought, the cogs visibly churning in his knowledge-full head. There was playfulness hidden in the curves of his lips.
She smiled back. "What did you have in mind?"
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