I wake up to Pressley's phone playing that beachy song. My alarm isn't going off for some reason. Must be a glitch. I sit up and I'm immediately confined to half of the space I'm used to in these beds. I'm also way up high. I look to my right and I see Pressley also groggily waking up. All the memories of the crying and the thunderstorm seem to wash over both of us.
"Thunderstorm. Loud," I mutter, not being able to make full sentences yet.
"Yeah, the thunderstorm was loud. Anyways, I can go turn on the Playstation if you want so we can have a rematch of the golf game," Pressley offers, and I get a bit more awake at the mention of competition.
"You're on!" I exclaim, hearing our parents wake up.
She turns on the Playstation and gives me a controller. I climb down to the bottom bunk and we play the golf game. This time, I win for the first time at golf. And it's virtual golf against one other person. A very prestigious award.
"Okay, okay. You win. It's even. Now can we watch some British blokes while we change into our ALDC merch for the photoshoot and then change in a minibus bathroom stall into pajamas and go to an amusement park," Pressley asks and I nod.
"I am not going on any roller coasters," I state adamantly.
"We'll see," Pressley jokingly says, and I giggle.
I hate roller coasters. I am going to be teaming up with whichever girl is also afraid of rollercoasters. Pressley changes into a red ALDC hoodie with gold stitching and black leggings, so I guess I'll twin.
I put my hair in a bun and I put on makeup. I then move on to my wrists. I cover them up with foundation and setting powder the heck out of them because I don't want the foundation to transfer to my pajamas later on.
I come out of the bathroom to see Pressley lounging around watching people make brandy snaps. It must be cookie week, or as the British people call it, "biscuits." I grab my laptop and I look at a map of Pleasure Beach. So many roller coasters.
I gulp and I go back to the bathroom, grabbing my pill bottles. Fluoxetine, Cymbalta, and because I don't want to have a panic attack on a ride, I'll grab a Venlafaxine. It barely helps, but any help is some help. Pressely's eyes are glued to the people now making macaron displays, so I gulp it down and rejoin her.
After we finish out the episode, Mom shouts, "Girls! We're going to the bus! Come on!"
I quickly pack up my backpack with everything, grab my pajamas, and put on my shoes. Turning off the television, I put the backpack on my back and hustle out the door. Mom and Ms. Ashley are behind Pressley and I as we run to the elevator, excited.
Once we get down to the lobby, including Mackenzie, everybody else is there, making us the final ones. I go to talk to Gia, since she seems alone. Pressley, Brady, Sarah, and Hannah have all seemed to figure out that they all like roller coasters, so they're all chatting about roller coasters.
"I hate roller coasters," Gia mutters to me, us walking out of the sliding glass door entrance.
"Me too," I agree, and Gia lights up.
"We have to pair up, since everybody else loves roller coasters! Us, we're simple, and simple people have to stay together!" Gia states, and I nod excitedly.
"We should look up a map and look at some of the activities! I need itineraries!" I gush, and we sit down together.
"We can plan when we get a map at the park. I want to focus on the photoshoot!" Gia tells me, and I get a bit anxious, nodding anyway.
I turn on some Melanie Martinez, my old friend that I haven't heard in months to drown out the conversations of roller coasters. All my anxiety about everything is slowly drowned out by Crybaby.
Suddenly, a new song, Ocean Eyes comes on my shuffle by a girl named Billie Eilish. It sounds really good. I go to her profile and I start listening to her other songs. Soon, I have You Should See Me In A Crown on repeat.
"We're at the beach!" Brady shouts, and I reluctantly take out my earbuds.
The sky is cloudy and bleak, not optimal for a photoshoot, but it's good enough. There is a man standing on the sand, and we run onto the beach, squealing at the feeling of the sand making contact with our shoes.
"Ok, two poses per kid! I don't have a lot of time here! You, brown hair cat ears person, you! First! Tell me!" the photographer bluntly calls out.
"Uh, a side tilt and a leg extension on my knee!" Gia yells, getting in front of the camera, doing a leg extension.
"Go!" the man shouts and I back away slowly as Gia lets go of her leg, bringing her leg into an oversplit, smiling big.
She quickly gets on her knee and does a leg extension before running back. This seems very fast paced, and the cameraman doesn't seem to want to be here. Rude. I back away with the other kids, trying to get away from the cameraman.
"Um, redhead. Your turn!" the cameraman directs to Pressley.
"Me? Plie squat on relevé and arabesque," Pressley yells, jogging out to the camera.
She does her poses and then the photographer calls out for "other brown-haired girl", also known as Hannah. She does a backbend without touching her hands to the ground and a side aerial. I start to think about my positions. A contortion handstand and a C-Jump. Luckily, right as I think about them, he calls out "tiny bony kid", which is me.
I do my tricks, making sure to have big smiles and pointed feet. I land knee-first in the sand after my C-jump, and I see the slightest nod of approval from the cameraman. Then they call "boy", or Brady. He does a Russian switch leap and a penché, making each seem flawless.
Finally, we have Sarah, which he titles, "taller blonde one." She does a stag leap and arabesque, and with that, the photo shoot is done. In ten minutes.
"We basically did a 10 minute-photo challenge!" Sarah shouts, tripping on the sand, but getting back up to run to us.
"Now we get to go to Starbucks. The question is, should we order in our pajamas, or should we not?" Hannah asks.
"No, we'd look so weird!" Pressley argues, and I side with her.
"Fine," Hannah fake-pouts, smiling afterward as we walk to the Starbucks on the boardwalk.
You have 200 calories, Lilliana. Use them wisely. I dart around with my eyes, the smell of food overwhelming. Wraps. I can skirt by this, especially if it has veggies. The spinach and feta wrap. 290 calories. If I eat a quarter of it and give the rest of it to somebody else, then I've ingested 73 calories. That leaves 127 calories.
An eight-ounce Very Berry Hibiscus Starbucks Refreshers Beverage is 35 calories. Perfect. This is 108 calories, and relatively healthy. Flavored water with fruit and vegetables. I order my food and drink and wait for everybody else to get their abundance of food.
I sit down next to Pressley this time, and we turn on our show again, beginning the pie episode. I tear one of my pieces of the wrap in half and slowly eat the vegetable wrap. It's basically a sandwich. Going on the fear food list, I guess.
I shove the rest to Pressley, who looks annoyed at me, but worried. I plead with my eyes, shoving the wrap. She rolls her eyes and takes it, shoving it into her mouth. I thank her with my eyes and a small smile, lightly sipping on my refresher. By the time we finish watching everybody bake family pies, everybody is finished with their Starbucks, and we get to change into pajamas. I grab my duffel bag and wait patiently for my turn.
Mackenzie goes first, changing into a basic white tee and blue flannel pajama sweats. Hannah goes next, putting on an olive green shirt and short set with leopard print with matching Ugg slippers. Then goes Brady, changing into a gray striped pajama set.
Then it's my turn. My hair and earrings are already good, a very messy bun and my stud earrings. I change into a bunny onesie, putting on hot pink Ugg slippers. Every single girl got these, and they're so comfy. I switch out my pink shark case to a pink fluffy one that compliments my Uggs.
Once I come out, Gia dashes in, very quickly changing into an amethyst colored shirt and pants with little white flowers all over, some cornflower Ugg slippers on her feet. After Gia goes Press, wearing a deep red pajama sweatshirt and short set, black stripes going through it. She also puts on dark red Ugg slides.
Finally, Sarah puts on a duck onesie, accompanied with orange Ugg slippers. After taking a few photographs of us being fake drowsy, we get off the bus, all of us skipping excitedly to Pleasure Beach Park. Don't eat any of the fair food, Lilliana. Fair food will make you gain twenty pounds.
Once we pay for admission, all of us have to listen through the mandatory "be safe, don't talk to strangers, meet back here by three, stay with your buddy" talk. After what seems like years of droning on and on from our parents, we're finally released. Gia and I quickly get a map and a pen.
We start circling places on the map and drawing out arrows. There aren't many attractions that aren't big roller coasters. We do have four hours to kill, but the lines may be really long. Eventually, we come up with a plan and set on our way.
We start on the nearest attraction, the Flying Machines. After about a twenty-minute wait, Gia and I find a rocketship. I sit in the front and Gia sits right behind me. We strap in, and the ride starts moving.
I let out a small squeal of excitement. At first, the ride starts slow, but soon it starts pulling away from its launching area, going out and up. I look back at Gia and we're both laughing and squealing.
I feel airborne. Free. A sense of adrenaline and euphoria encasing me. Like my intrusive thoughts don't control me. Like I'm Lilly again. And it feels awesome, but confusing. This isn't how it should be. I shouldn't be happy like this. I should be happier with my intrusive thoughts controlling me.
The ride is over before I know it, sadly grounding me back to reality. I get a bit dizzy standing up, but it was a spinning ride. Gia and I race to the exit and speed walk to the Nickelodeon section. Here is our home. It has a bunch of safe rides and attractions. By the time we finish, we're probably going to have to be back at Ice Blast at three.
Avatar Airbender first spots our ride. It's a circle going on a track, but the track just goes back and forth. Gia and I look at each other, smile at each other, and run to get in line.
I feel a near instant sense of dreadful adrenaline as the man straps us in, forcing us into an orange coffin. Soon, the ride starts rocking while going in small circles. This is the pace I want the ride to stay at for the entire time. Of course, that's now how rides work, because it starts going farther and the circles start going faster. Eventually, it's going across the entire track and the circle is going so fast it's a blur. I start to scream gleefully as it keeps getting faster and faster before it slowly goes in reverse. The world starts to be in focus again. The rocking motions aren't as wide. Then it stops.
I nearly fall over trying to walk, gripping onto the railway. I'm so dizzy. So naturally, we decide to go on another spinny ride. But this one shouldn't be that bad. The Backyardigans Pirate Treasure is more of a contained ride.
"We have to get the pink one!" Gia points at the raspberry Jolly Roger flag on a pirate ship as we wait in line.
When it's our turn, we race to the pink one, not running so we won't get in trouble, however. Luckily, we get there before everybody else. We give each other a victorious high-five before climbing into the tiny compartment.
We pull down the lap belt and wait for the ride to start, other tiny children piling in. All the parents are staring at Gia because she is the tallest and the oldest, but she doesn't care. The ride starts and it goes forward in circles. It's actually relatively fast, which adds to the thrill.
It stops, and Gia and I push on the lap belt, but it doesn't budge. Suddenly, we're jerked backwards. Gia and I look at each other with shock as we start going backwards.
"This isn't what I signed up for!" Gia tells me as it picks up speed again.
Despite the unexpected surprise, it's a lot of fun and I don't get dizzy when I get off, which is a plus. Onto the Bikini Bottom Bus Tour. From the outside, the orange submarine just goes in circles, like a Ferris wheel. But on the inside, it's near pitch black. I find a seat in the front, staying with Gia as more people pile up inside the machine.
All of a sudden, an ocean scene is shown across all the windows, and SpongeBob's voice is heard as he begins to give a speech about how he'll be our tour guide. Then fish and coral from the television show start appearing. It's more educational, so definitely not one of my favs, but it feels good to sit down for an extended period of time.
"That was less of a thrill ride, and more of a break," Gia states as we stand in line for the next ride, and I nod agreeing.
Diego's Rainforest Rescue definitely brings back up the adrenaline. It's like a mini Ice Blast, going up and rushing back down. My stomach tingles with adrenaline, making me want to throw up, but it's so fun as we drop ten feet to the ground before shooting back up. The butterflies don't go away as we race to the Fairy World Taxi Spin. This one has buttons we can control.
"We should go all the way up and down," Gia suggests and I give a mischievous smile. Definitely.
We step into a purple and yellow compartment and I immediately start pressing the up button even before the ride starts. Once it starts, we quickly rise and stay there for a minute before doing a countdown.
"Three! Two! One! Oh.." we shout, quickly overcome with disappointment when a slow descent happens.
We stay on the ground level until the ride stops so we can quickly get off. The fast-paced nature is definitely exhausting, but it's also really fun. I look at my phone. 2:55. Dang it, we have to go Ice Blast.
"We have to go," I tell Gia and we walk out of Nickelodeon Land, passing all these roller coasters that make me feel sick.
In about three minutes, we manage to traverse the rest of the park to Ice Blast, where we are the last ones, everybody laughing and talking with a giant banana plush, about six feet tall. At least we're on time.
"Did you all have fun?" Ms. Ann asks us, and I nod.
"So we all decided to go on some roller coasters, so we're all going to go to the Nickelodeon Streak and then ICON. Then we're going to this British food restaurant and then back to the hotel," Ms. Ashley informs us, and I start to get anxious.
I hate roller coasters. I hate heights. I follow nearby Pressley and Brady to Nickelodeon, nervous as I see how high it is. I start to shake my leg a bit and fiddle with my fingers. The line quickly progresses as we get on the cars. I sit next to Mom as I realize the roller coaster is wooden.
I grip her hand tightly as we begin our ascent. I can't even look at the ground as we bend a corner and we're faced with a drop. I screw my eyes shut and I feel my stomach fill up with butterflies again when we drop. I scream, and I feel a bit faint.
The whole thing is hill after hill, and I have to admit, it is a little fun, but scarier. Everybody else, even Gia, is gushing about it when we get off. We exit Nickelodeon Land and go across to ICON. I feel really dizzy getting on the ride, sitting with Hannah.
"I promise this has no loops and no big drops," Hannah promises.
My skin starts to get clammy as we start to go up... a big hill. I look at Hannah. She giggles.
"Sorry, it was my idea to force you onto the ride so you wouldn't chicken out," Pressley giggles from behind us, and I glare at her, rolling my eyes.
Whatever. It's not a big deal. But I can see the entire park at this level. My breathing starts to get heavier and it drops. Everything slowly turns to white. I blink, trying to see and I grip Hannah's hand, trying to sense something in reality. I blink again and we're at the end.
***pressley***
As we're going down, I see Lilly slump in her seat. What just happened? Hannah quickly holds her up, holding her head so it doesn't hit anywhere.
"I think she just passed out!" Hannah shouts, and Brady and I look at each other and cover our mouths in shock.
"Lilly just passed out!" we yell to Sarah and Gia, who yells it to the moms and Mackenzie.
We finish up the ride, still having a bit of fun, and Lilly finally wakes up, very confused. Ms. Stacey lifts her up, because she's too disoriented to walk. And worse, by the time we exit, and all the moms are overwhelming her with questions on a park bench, she manages to get enough strength to run over to a trash can and... throw up.
***lilly***
Luckily, nothing I've eaten is too acidic. As I'm puking in the trash can, I try to recount what has happened. I went on the roller coaster. There was a big hill. I was with Hannah. That's it. I still can't really comprehend anything, but I at least have an excuse not to have dinner later.
Once I'm done puking, I stumble back to the park bench and sit on Mom's lap. Everybody looks very sorry and very confused at me, but then we start walking towards the exit. I guess it's a wrap.
I sit with Mom on the way to the restaurant with the other moms. At least Pressley hands me an AirPod that I can discreetly slip into my ear so I can listen to the Great British Baking Show. The shenanigans of Mel and Sue do make me feel a little better, even though I do feel a little sick.
I sit next to Sarah in a booth, just ordering a water. Luckily, throwing up can excuse you from having to order anything. I do order a salad, but I just move it around, not hungry. The water does hydrate me, however, so it helps me become more lively despite a massive headache forming.
Once we get back to the hotel, I stumble to our bedroom and lay down on my bed, groaning from the headache, holding my head and my hands
"I want you two in bed early, especially you Lilly. And I got you some aspirin," Ms. Ashley says, handing me a pill and some water.
"Thanks," I groan, taking the pill and some water before laying down again.
I decide to just sleep in my bunny onesie, and Press sleeps in her red pajama set. We brush our hair and my teeth, and I stay behind to slit my wrists twice. I'm in too much pain to slice them any more. Two quick bandaids and I'm out.
I shut off the lights and walk over to my bed, trying to go to sleep, the headache starting to fade.
"I'm sorry about you passing out on ICON," Pressley mutters.
"It's okay. I just want to sleep," I dismiss, turning over to my side and falling asleep. Today has been an eventful day.
~~~~~