“I was falling. Falling through time and space and stars and sky and everything in between. I fell for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. I fell until I forgot I was falling.”
It started raining not long after he laid down on his bed, feeling strange at sleeping on soft sheets that took sleep away from him. He was looking out the window and thinking about what or who he didn't know but his mind was hazy almost the same as Taehyung had on his face before he stood up and left him.
In the middle of the night, another soldier came in and Seokjin closed his eyes so the other would think he was asleep. And there he fell asleep truly soon.
The next day, he woke up to the first rays of daylight that made him smile a little bit before he got up from the bed. Walked to the shower and cleaned himself up, called himself handsome as he ran a hand into his hair and was drying his face when Hoseok barked in the shower. Nothing special. Just soldiers’ thing.
“I don't remember if I have ever seen you this clean,” he teased.
Seokjin threw his towel at Hoseok before saying “and you won't probably ever see me this clean again” as in everything he did today, was with a reason. One and only reason. And what other than Taehyung could be a greater reason
They walked downstairs together where there was a delicious aroma of meat being cooked as breakfast was being prepared. They sat down on the table where a few soldiers were conversing and reading a newspaper.
“You shouldn't read newspapers this soon,” one of them said.
“And why is that so?”
“It is bad luck, what if they call us back to fight,” said the other, who made Seokjin snort.
They would turn back to war, sooner or later.
“We will be called soon but would you rather go knowing what’s going on or go fight without knowing what is happening out there, in the important places and discussions,” the man reading the newspaper said.
“What does it say?” asked Seokjin, leaning towards the table with curiosity as he picked his cup of coffee.
“Nothing important for us… nothing related for us right now, the war is going on there still”
“Good… I’m not ready to go back yet” he said, which earned a laugh from the rest.
He walked out of the villa as soon as the breakfast was over and lit up a cigarette, took a long deep smoke before Hoseok reached to him and placed his hand on the older’s shoulder.
“What are we going to do today?” Hoseok asked with a smile.
“Whatever you want us to do,”
“I don't know, I have been here for two weeks and this city is all the same, I don't know anything,”
“Then go to port,”
Hoseok shook his head, his smile turning in a thin line bolding his dimples, “it smells of salt and fishes, wherever I look it is sea… a scenery I can't dream of… what about tonight? What are we going to do tonight?”
Seokjin considered for a moment, before he said, “I have someone to meet up tonight,”
“Your flower boy? The lovely singer?”
Seokjin didn't answer. He inhaled a whiff of smoke as he watched the sight in front of him, people passing by, the shining sun with a few clouds adorning the blue sky. The weather was humid and smelled like wet soil because of the rain last night.
“You like this boy?” Hoseok asked. “You cannot tell me that you don't. I saw the way you looked at him last night and how you had already devoted yourself to him.”
“You don't know anything.”
“I do,” Hoseok pestered. “You like to think you're this big mysterious man. But you're not.” Then he smiled at him, a redicioulodly knowing smile before he winked at him and walked back inside. Leaving behind Seokjin and the cigarette in his hand.
Seokjin followed the path to the villa after he finished smoking.
“It's as if I've stepped off the edge of a cliff, and even though my heart's in my mouth and my stomach is in knots, I'm the most excited I've ever been in my life. I'm totally enthralled by him. I want him, every part of him, and I desperately want him to feel the same way about me.”
He waited, tried to be patient and he read but felt that night would not come for a very long time and soon felt that it would not come at all. But the sun did dim and when all he could see was the silhouette of the great Mount Vesuvius, Seokjin bid farewell to Hoseok. Finally feeling like his heart was beating after the whole day and it wasn't just beating, his heart was stammering against his chest, in quiet it could be heard how fast and hard it was pumping blood all over Seokjin’s body but his hands were cold and sweaty. He chuckled at himself. He was nervous.
The weather was cold and Seokjin believed summer was seriously gone. Out was the liveliness of the city. Music was being heard from every cafe that Seokjin passed by. It was almost calming, like there wasn't any war going on out of Nepali somewhere. Even though Seokjin could see soldiers frequently here, just like war. Still it felt nice to listen to music, drink and smoke instead of holding weapons, hearing bombards and fighting. The air was pleasant. Seokjin felt happy. He felt light. And he followed the delicious aroma of coffee being cooked till he got to the cafe where he met Taehyung singing.
He felt his heart bursting.
Taehyung was already on the stage. Seokjin walked up to the bar, took a seat and ordered, “A seltzer, please,”
He drank in silence with a cigarette burning in the ashtray. He watched Taehyung sing, watched him move subtly with the microphone in his hands; and, later, when he swept the room with a searching look, Seokjin knew in his heart that he was looking for him. So he raised a hand and caught Taehyung’s eye. It was then he smiled.
The night went on that way. Seokjin watched with devout interest as Taehyung performed each of his songs with a keen passion that one could feel like a touch to their soul. He was beautiful up there and Seokjin could not turn away.
“You again.” The cigarette girl from the night before came to Taekwoon's side. “Where is your friend?”
“At the villa with the rest.”
“Why did he not come?”
“I'm not sure.” She followed Seokjin’s gaze to the stage, then turned back to him with a small chirruping laugh.
“You like him.” Seokjin gave a polite nod.
“A lot of people that come in here do.”
“So I've heard.”
“He is a kind boy. He's been here a long time.”
“How long?”
“Very long. Years. He came when he was eighteen.”
“Was that before the war?” Seokjin asked.
“A little. Only a little, though. The Russians and Germans,” she flicked her hand as if staving off cigarette smoke, “all of them. They were already fighting, but Italia had not yet started to fight.”
The girl stepped away then, whispering as she went, “My name is Sabina. You tell your friend to come see me.” Then she was gone and Seokjin was left staring up at an empty stage.
It was quite a while before Taehyung came from the back, but when he came he came as a vision with his hair swept back and all his face burning with light.
He smiled at Seokjin as he approached.
“Follow me,” he said.
He didn't stop, or halted his steps to say a hello. He didn't turn back to check if Seokjin was following but of course he was. They left the cafe without any notice of the others in there and when the cold air hit their face, Taehyung stopped and took Seokjin by his elbow.
He said, “I was worried you would not come.”
“You told me to,” said Seokjin.
“Do you always do what you're told?”
“No.” Seokjin stopped beneath a tunnel and took Taehyung’s hand from his arm and brought it to his mouth. He kissed the knuckles softly. “Ciao, beautiful. You look very handsome tonight.”
“Grazie.” Taehyung laughed. It was a gentle sound, hummed from the center of his chest.
They continued to walk, Taehyung leading a single step ahead. He kept his hand in the crook of Seokjin’s elbow all the time and did not speak much. He was brimming with an excitement Seokjin did not understand.
“Did you have a nice day?” Seokjin inquired.
“Oh, I suppose,” Taehyung laughed. “I don't really know. I did nothing at all.” He looked at
Seokjin. “And you?”
“I suppose, as well. I. . .found myself waiting for sundown.”
“That's lovely to hear.” Taehyung dropped his voice down to a playful whisper. “Because so did I.”
“Don't you long for something different to happen, something so exciting and new it carries you along with it like a great tide, something that lets your life blaze and burn so the whole world can see it?”
The square was quiet at this time of the night, where the day market was crowded and loud, here at the moment there was no sound except the sound of their steps and their halted smoky breaths in the air.
“I have a surprise for you” said Taehyung as he turned to Seokjin and beamed so brightly. “You will love it!”
“Will I?” Seokjin asked, smiling and there he noticed that his cheeks were hurting.
“You said you like the pictures, didn't you? Do you like Chaplin?”
“Of course.”
Taehyung pulled Seokjin closer, then led him to a cafe at the end of the road. The cafe was dim, the curtains were closed and it was only lit by some candles that gave a faint glow to the cafe. It was a beautiful one.
“They show films here. It is not like the film houses in the west. Unlike a film house at all, really, but it's dark and romantic and I love it here.”
When they walked in the cafe, Taehyung pulled his hand out of Seokjin’s and put it deliberately in his pocket.
He said, “They are showing some Chaplin film to-night. Not anything new, you understand.
Europe has trouble gathering anything new. You know why.”
“I know.”
“So we will watch something a little older. Perhaps you've seen it, but. . .”
“I don't mind.” Seokjin felt the first waves of excitement rush into him. There was an
undeniable urge to put his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and wrap him in a close embrace, but he did not.
“What is it called?” Seokjin asked.
“Oh, I don't know, love. It's in Italian, though. Does that bother you?”
“No.” Seokjin smiled. “No… not at all, dear” He quickly leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Taehyung’s ear. “Let’s get settled then, I will die right from the excitement”
It was dark and warm inside, almost home-y that made Seokjin feel at ease. He enjoyed the movie and he thought it was much better than the first time he watched it. He felt his heart leaping and fluttering when Taehyung put his small hand in his palm, light and weightless but warm and calming. Seokjin gripped his hand tightly and never let go.
“His hand glides down my arm, folds over my hand. His fingers lace with mine, palms kissing. I can feel the fast thud of his heart through this single touch.”
It was much darker, the night was all settled when they left the cafe. Seokjin was feeling giddy, he was blessed and delighted. He felt happy as they walked quietly alongside each other in the vally but it was not until they slipped into a narrow alley that Seokjin put his hand on the small of Taehyung’s back and swept him in his arms.
“You are wonderful,” he whispered. softly.
“It was nothing, “ Taehyung whispered in return, his face adorned with a beautiful small smile. Lovely.
They did not speak above this low tone. And it was there, in the silence of the dim alley that Seokjin hooked his finger under the younger boy’s chin, and kissed his mouth.
With arms about his neck, Taehyung pulled Seokjin nearer and nearer until the wall met his back, then Seokjin placed an open palm against the wall. It was their kiss, the way they kissed and didn't part for air, gasped into each other’s mouth from breathlessness but still kissed. Seokjin kissed Taehyung, kissed and kissed that was so much alike devouring and dominating the boy’s mouth. He kissed and lifted Taehyung in his arms so that his feet wouldn't touch the ground and held him as close as he could, his mouth still on Taehyung’s, warm and delicious. The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars.
Then suddenly Taehyung pulled away, softly. Making Seokjin flinch and come out of the ecstatic trance he was lost in kissing the boy.
“What happened?” Seokjin asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No… no, love. I just don't want to kiss here. Not here, okay?”
Then Taehyung took Seokjin’s arm in hand and led him out of the alley to the port. They walked till they got to the pier and there were boats that were ebbed by every wave that the sea brought over. Taehyung. Taehyung climbed up to one of the boats, the most old-looking one, and pulled pulled Seokjin to come and sit next to him.
Once settled, Taehyung laid on the floor and told Seokjin to do so.
"Here?" Seokjin asked with a smile.
Taehyung laughed, "it doesn't matter," he said. "No one will know."
So it was there. Seokjin on the floor of the boat with his arms wrapped around Taehyung's small body and his mouth on the boy's throat. There was a lovely silence surrounding them as Seokjin kissed Taehyung. Held him close so that their bodies were flushed against each other as he mouthed the column on his neck. The boat moved under them and it was dark around them but it was a nice darkness when Taehyung's mouth was tender and warm under his. He listened to the lovely sounds Taehyung made as the fire inside him was building up. It was a fire that went on burning after Taehyung pulled away, smiling with an evident nervousness that they both felt.
Then, Taehyung whispered, "will I see you again?"
Seokjin sighed, "You will see me as long as you want to see me"
Taehyung watched the sky as Seokjin watched him and there they laid together on the boat under the wide sky full of clouds and shiniest stars.
“Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky.”
The time that followed their first time together was amazingly lovely. Seokjin felt like he had been dreaming, dreaming of the pier, boats, sky and Taehyung. He felt the magic of it through the night, and he felt the loveliness of in the morning. Anticipated it in the evening, and he was still under spell when he was next to Taehyung, settled closely beside him.
They would meet at the port when the sun hid eclipse behind the mountains of Napoli. And hold each other tightly in the dim and quiet alleys between buildings where the ground was dusty and tickled their nose as they inhaled deeply. There was not a single time where they weren't touching, and it was beautiful as they loved each other wholly, with their hands always clasped, their fingers intertwined and their heart together that dimmed the whole light everywhere on the earth and sky, till the only light left was Taehyung's glistening beautiful eyes. His face bright and his smile lovely as Seokjin whispered sweetly into his ear.
"You are a strange man Seokjin," Taehyung said with a lost smile, one evening when they were sitting in the cafe "strange but charming… very charming"
Seokjim did not understand then, so he smiled softly and touched his foot to Taehyung's in response.
Then Taehyung said, "I have a secret," he paused as pink aroused on his cheeks, " but I can't say it here,"
"Then… where?" Seokjin asked with a smile shadowing his words.
"Anywhere… anywhere but not here," he replied.
So they left the cafe, and walked to the quietness of the alleys they had been at night before where one could hear the waves and smell the salt and sea. There was a chilly breeze, when Taehyung hid his face in the crook of Seokjin's face and spoke. "I love you… do you know that?"
Then he looked up at Seokjin with his eyes blooming beautifully with wonder, "you are my soldier and I love you, do you know that?"
"I know it," Seokjin breathed, "I know it and have been knowing it and I love you the same,"
"Oh… oh! You don't have to say it just because I did," whispered Taehyung, who was suddenly breathless.
"No… no, love… I love you very much, " Seokjin whispered and kissed Taehyung's forehead and then the mole under his eye. "I have loved you all this time," he said honestly, "I tried not to… but from the first night I saw you, I have loved you all the way, and I feel that I will love you forever,"
"Isn't forever too long?"
"Forever is not long enough,"
"Oh, love, you are so sweet… You are a true romantic,"
Taehyung rose to his feet then, softly wrapped his arms around Seokjin's neck and pulled him closer tightly before he planted a lovely kiss on Seokjin's earlobe whispering: me too… me too… I will love you forever and ever.
And it was the warmth of Taehyung wrapped around him, his sweet kisses and lovely voice. It was all about Taehyung that made Seokjin realise he had never loved like this before and would never love again the way he loved Taehyung in this way. He had never felt the love that he felt then. He had not lived in a time of admiration and love as he lived then. And he knew that very well as Taehyung's arms around his neck loosened a bit that the reality would press into soon and they wouldn't be able to hide from it but would have to face it head straight and chin up, proudfully. But till then Seokjin would go on pretending. He would go on love in a world where Taehyung only existed. Where the only light was Taehyung's smile and where there were no wars that a soul could feel the firing of the guns in the nighttime.
♡♡♡
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAMJOON!!! THE BEST LEADER AND RAPPER! THE LOVELY HUMAN I ADORE A LOT.