"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." James 1:5.
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Noelle hadn't spoken a single word since Gandalf's death. Not one. She couldn't speak to anyone- not even Legolas.
Head bowed, Noelle trudged along in the back lost in thought and unwisely not taking much notice of her surroundings.
"Noelle Smith. The Jedi." A female voice whispered.
Noelle froze and turned behind her. What was that? The Force had never spoken to her in that way before. She decided to shrug it off, as she really didn't feel like thinking about it anyway.
She heard Gimli going on to the hobbits about "a sorceress who lived in these woods." Gimli apparently still didn't like Elves. Not that Noelle cared right now.
"Well here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!"
Almost crashing into the hobbits who had stopped suddenly, Noelle looked up to see an elf pointing an arrow at her skull. She swallowed as the elf's eyes bored into hers. Elves were deadly when they wanted to be, and they could certainly move faster than her. But why hadn't she sensed them? For one thing, she hadn't really been paying attention.
Legolas on the other hand already had his bow and arrows poised to strike.
"The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark," came the voice of another elf, who was apparently their smart-mouthed leader.
Gimli scowled, and turned to Aragorn, who had his hands raised cautiously. "Aragorn! These woods are perilous. We should go back!"
The wiseguy elf-captain tilted his head and gave Gimli a steady glare. "You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. Come. She is waiting."
The elf who was pointing his arrow at Noelle's head slowly lowered his bow and turned away. Noelle let out a sigh of relief. Now she had to brace herself to meet this extraordinarily powerful Elf-lady. She didn't want to be told that it wasn't her fault Gandalf died or that she hadn't failed to save him. She didn't wanna hear from none of the Elves.
Right now, she wanted to be alone.
~~~~~~
Caras Galadhon -the main city of Lothlorien- was strong with the Force. The feel was incredibly different from say, Rivendell, but its aspect and feel as a whole reminded Noelle of Ilum. It was no wonder they didn't have kyber crystals growing here, she thought with as much amusement as she could muster.
Behind Frodo and in front of Legolas, Noelle trudged up the winding stairs to the main platform of the biggest Mallorn tree in Lothlorien, where they would meet Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel.
They stopped in front of a short staircase. At the top, the white gleaming figures who were holding hands slowly and gracefully descended.
Noelle held her breath. Lady Galadriel was beyond beautiful, same as Arwen. She radiated in white, with golden waves falling behind her to the middle of her back. She looked like a figure of authority. One who commanded power.
Lord Celeborn spoke first. "The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone. Nine there are here, but ten set out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him. I can no longer see him from afar."
Kind of like how Noelle couldn't feel the Jedi anymore, or Obi-wan, Ahsoka, or Anakin.
She could feel Lady Galadriel's piercing, starry eyes gaze over the Company. Her eyes rested on Legolas, as if reading his mind.
"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land. He has fallen into shadow," she murmured quietly.
Noelle suddenly recognized Galadriel as the voice that had been speaking in her mind back in the forest.
Legolas looked up. "He was taken by both Shadow and Flame. A Balrog of Morgoth. For we went needlessly into the net of Moria."
Noelle tried her hardest to blink back the tears that were forming in her eyes, but it wasn't working. She looked down instead. One thing the Jedi couldn't teach her was to control her emotions.
"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life," said Lady Galadriel. "We do not yet know his full purpose." Her gaze rested on Noelle, who froze in place. If she could run away and hide right now, that's what she would do. But she couldn't.
"Do not let the fall of Gandalf trouble your heart, Noelle Smith. For fate does not always give one the power to save life. Often times greater sacrifices must be made. Love is now mingled with grief."
Noelle just shook her head quietly to herself. Gandalf could have been saved. She could have saved him. She didn't know how Gandalf would have let himself die purposefully.
"What becomes of this Fellowship?" Lord Celeborn asked. "Without Gandalf hope is lost."
Noelle really wanted to run away right now.
"The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all," Lady Galadriel said. "Yet hope remains while the Company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now, and rest. For you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace."
Noelle highly doubted that.
~~~~~~
The guy's tents were all a great deal away from Noelle's, but honestly, she was happy about it. She needed sleep, even though she knew she wasn't getting it either way. Gimli's obnoxious snoring wasn't her problem for now, but there were still the dreams.
She lay wide awake on her blanket on the soft green grass and brown leaves that littered the ground, staring at the roof of her tent. In the distance, she could hear a quiet, calming chorus. The voices were in Elvish and she wondered what it was they were saying exactly.
Noelle turned into her other side for the hundredth time tonight.
"Noelle?" came a soft whisper outside her tent.
Startled, Noelle jumped and peered outside her tent. It was Legolas standing a few feet away. He seemed to have a thing for sneaking up on her- or maybe she was just too jumpy. Wrapping Ahsoka's old cloak around herself, Noelle decided to come out, as Legolas couldn't really come in.
She met his eyes. They had a solemn sadness about them. He stepped closer and she didn't move. "How are you faring?"he asked softly.
Noelle knew if she tried to speak, she'd start to cry. She just shrugged.
Legolas's brows furrowed in sympathy. He reached out to touch her arm. "Noelle, I am so sorry..."
Noelle looked down. "I just can't believe I..." she whispered. She stopped and took a deep breath before forcing herself to continue. "I can't believe I couldn't save him. Please don't tell me it wasn't my fault. Please."
Legolas was silent for a moment. He really looked like he didn't want to say this. "What if Gandalf did not want you to save him, Noelle?"
Noelle swallowed.
"I must walk this path alone." That was what Gandalf had said to her.
"I don't know," Noelle whispered. She wiped away her tears on the sleeve of her cloak. "What's that singing?"
"A lament for Gandalf," Legolas answered quietly.
Of course, Noelle immediately wished she hadn't asked and began to turn away.
"Noelle, I-I understand how you feel."
Noelle paused for a moment. She wanted to tell Legolas that he didn't understand what she had been through- what she was going through, but she decided to hear him out. She slowly turned back around.
"My mother." Legolas' eyes were cast down. "She meant the world to my father. I was on the hunting trip with her when the Gundabad orcs kidnapped her..." He trailed off. "We were too late, and I... I failed her." Legolas looked up. The memory and grief in his eyes were fresh.
Noelle was stunned. "Legolas... I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
Legolas met her eyes. ''Tis alright. I have since learned to forgive myself."
Noelle hoped that someday she would too.
~~~~~~
Another week went by. Surprisingly, Noelle had no dreams. Not one. She hadn't had any in Rivendell either.
Another sudden realization had hit her as well. Her birthday had just passed again, and now she was twenty-one. Where did the time go? She shook her head thinking about it.
Most of the time, Noelle either spent her time alone by herself meditating in Galadriel's gardens(which was impossible because someone was always there) or spending time with one of the Fellowship members, mainly the hobbits or Legolas. She really had appreciated Legolas coming to her on that first night to see how she was doing. He always seemed to be watching out for her.
"It's not that hot out here," came someone's voice.
Snapping back to reality, Noelle glanced up to see a grinning Boromir. "What?" she asked with a scowl.
"Your cheeks were red," said Boromir.
Noelle stared at him blankly.
"Nevermind," he said, shaking his head. "So how do you deal with having all that... power?" He waved his hands trying to emphasize.
Noelle looked up. "It's simple. I never wanted my power, but I learned to get past my own wants and fears to put others first- or at least, I'm trying."
Boromir didn't answer.
"Excuse me," a golden-haired elf-maiden was standing a few feet away. Neither of them had heard her. "I apologize for the intrusion, my lord, but the Lady Galadriel wishes to speak with the Jedi." She gestured to Noelle.
If Noelle's face was red before, it really was now. Boromir looked utterly confused.
"Come, she is waiting," said the elf girl.
Boromir shrugged, and Noelle gave him a helpless look before she ran ahead to catch up with her.
Noelle followed her to the other side of Galadriel's garden on a stone path until they came to a small, cornered area in front of a statue and a fountain. Lady Galadriel was standing in front of the statue, and before her was a bowl of water on a pillar of stone.
"I will leave you, my lady," said the girl. She curtsied and left Noelle alone with Galadriel.
Noelle turned to Galadriel, who was watching her intently and holding a silver pitcher. "You wanted to speak with me... my lady?" Noelle asked hesitantly, unsure of how to address Lady Galadriel.
Lady Galadriel watched Noelle as she slowly began to move towards the basin of water. Lifting the pitcher up, she poured water into it. "I wish to guide you, since Gandalf is no longer here, and to try and offer you a new path. Will you look into the Mirror of Galadriel?"
"Does the mirror show the future?"
"The mirror shows many things- past, present, and future. But I cannot tell what it will show you."
Noelle wasn't sure if she should. There was no guarantee the mirror was going to show her anything she needed to see. But her curiosity got the better of her, and what did she have to lose? She leaned over, observing her complexion -her oval face, dark eyebrows and hair and blue eyes- in her reflection in the water.
She saw a starry night sky- or at least she thought it was. She saw white lines illuminating an invisible path in the stars- and portals?
Then there was a flash of lightning. She heard thunder and something that sounded like a loud clap.
There were shapes of people kneeling on the ground, weeping over what looked like nothing.
There was a dusty battleground of ruined buildings. Earth buildings. Noelle felt her breath catch in her throat as she tried to inhale.
"No..."
Smoke rose from the ashes of the battleground.
"NO!!!" Noelle screamed. She hurled herself backwards away from the mirror. "No! What is this?" she demanded, as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Is this what's going to happen to my world?!"
Galadriel's deep, ancient eyes met Noelle's teary blue ones. "It is what will come to pass should Evil be allowed to flourish."
Noelle swallowed. "The Force is out of Balance," she whispered. She saw Galadriel nod slightly.
"He will punish this universe if men allow Evil to prevail."
Noelle wiped another tear from her eye. "Who?"
"The One Above All Others."
Noelle was silent for a moment, taking in Galadriel's words. "What must I do?" she asked.
Galadriel's gaze turned more gentle. "Follow His voice, and allow Him to guide you."