A painful spasm woke me long before dawn as I jerked awake from a rapidly fading nightmare, leaving me sitting upright, frightened and confused in the dark.
"Babe?" Katherine stirred, her words slurring through the fog of sleep. "Everything okay?" The previous night's acrobatics had kept us up well past midnight and we both retired fully sated and exhausted. My body had recovered just fine, but four hours of rest was far too little for my brain and simply forming a coherent sentence seemed beyond my ability.
"Thomas, what's wrong?" She sat up when I didn't reply and put an arm around me.
"I don't know. Bad dreams."
"I got that. I'm psychic now, remember?" Her attempt at casual humor fell short. "You're worrying me."
"I'm fine," I lied, and she knew it. My heart was beating so fast I felt nauseous. "Just need to shake it off." I slipped my legs off the side of her bed and braced myself against the edge of the mattress.
"I'll come with you."
"No, go back to sleep. I'm just taking a walk."
"That's not going to work for me," she said, kneeling at my side. "I won't be able to rest until you calm down. And if you apologize to me again, I swear I'll push you down the stairs."
I chuckled weakly. "Fine. Dress warm."
She nodded and began searching for the clothes she discarded the night before. "I'll meet you in the shower, right after I strip the bed." She pulled back the top sheet and made a face. "Good lord, maybe you're dehydrated."
I didn't bother dressing since the only person typically awake before sunrise was Amy, and she had made other accommodations for herself after our unexpected meeting. The water was warmer than usual, but I didn't adjust it and simply closed my eyes, letting the heat soak into my skin. It surprised me again how easy it was to get used to Meridian. The bath in my apartment was miniscule by comparison and though it had always been sufficient, using it for three days had felt like an ordeal, something we had to tough out. I wasn't sure I could get comfortable under a shower with walls again after the weeks we'd lived there.
"Hey hon," I greeted Katherine when I sensed the presence of another body under the water.
"Hey yourself, babe, but you got the wrong girl."
I cried out and spun on my heel, almost toppling over in the process. Rachel stood in front of me, water streaming down her naked body, running fingers through her long, black hair. I turned my head and tried to cover myself.
"Dude," she said calmly, "This whole bashful thing is cute and all, but we've already crossed this line twice. Shit, I was grinding on your cock just a few hours ago. I doubt rinsing off together will break any more of your rules."
"Why are you even out of bed?" I asked, flailing for something, anything, to distract me.
"I dunno, maybe it was your voodoo. That thing you did to put me to sleep is pretty hard core. I've been wide awake for half an hour."
"You could have waited."
"Yeah, but why? By the time I noticed the water was on your junk was already dangling in the breeze. This taking turns bullshit is pointless, Tom, we should just call Becca and tell her to join us."
"Don't you dare!"
Rachel was about to reply when Katherine called out from her doorway. She was also naked and trying to contain a fit of giggles. "Wow, I turn my back for one minute..."
"Hey princess, your man's a little high strung, you might need to talk him down."
"I don't know, he seems to be handling it fine. Parts of him, anyway."
Rachel turned to face me again. "Fuck me," she groaned, eyes drifting down to my groin.
Katherine strolled up behind her with a sultry smile. "He might if you say please."
"I'm right here," I complained. My arousal was impossible to subdue or hide, so I turned away from them both.
"Tight ass too," Rachel drawled, "What have you been feeding this boy?"
A pair of arms slipped around my waist and I tried to pull away in a moment of panic. "It's just me," Katherine said with a small laugh. "Roll with it. I told you this would happen. She's obviously comfortable, and you have nothing to be ashamed of." With her last words she wrapped her fingers around my erection and gave it a little squeeze. I pushed her hand away. I'd come to think of Katherine's exhibitionism as a perk of our relationship, provided it didn't leave Meridian, but I wasn't ready for her to drag me into it.
"Fine," I said, yielding to the pressure because I had no graceful way to back out. "Just talk about something else, okay?"
"No prob." Rachel shrugged and picked up a bottle of shampoo. "Since you mentioned it, why are you two up? I know for a fact that you both got less sleep than I did."
"Thomas had a nightmare. We were just going for a walk."
"The door is that way," Rachel said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder.
"After four straight hours of sex, the shower was a higher priority."
"Four—" Rachel began. "What the fuck, you guys? How are you even walking? How are you still rock hard after that?"
"I said pick another topic," I had little hope that either was listening to me, but somehow I endured the next several minutes, and before Rachel dried herself and left I'd even begun to relax a little. I couldn't ignore her body, but her demeanor wasn't much different than it had been while eating breakfast or watching television, and that helped put me at ease.
"See, that wasn't so bad," Katherine said and handed me a towel once I turned off the water.
"It was torture."
"Thomas Junior disagrees."
"He doesn't call the shots. It's hard, Kath."
"I can see that."
"Will you stop? I mean keeping everything in check. We're at it twice a day, and my sex drive isn't slowing down."
"Good to know, neither is mine. What's your point?"
"My point is I think you were right. This isn't going to end and I'm not going to handle it well. Rachel attacked me last night, and a big part of me didn't want her to stop."
Katherine took my hand and held it tight. "I appreciate your fidelity, Thomas, and I love you for it, but the intention is enough for me. I have everything I want. When the day comes that you end up with Rachel, whether it's planned or it just happens, you'll still be mine, and I'll still have my best friend."
"That's messed up," I said.
"A little. I wouldn't have chosen this life and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, but not because I'm unhappy with how things turned out. What we're dealing with is unique and it demands compromise. The fact that you're not using that as an excuse to sleep with Rachel and Becca is amazing and I'll never forget that, but it's not like there's no precedent. Solomon had what, almost a thousand wives?"
I rolled my eyes. "I can't even imagine."
She wrapped a towel around herself. "You're not with three girls for kicks, you're keeping us alive and sane. If you consider all the things that could have happened, where we ended up isn't so bad."
I smiled weakly, but I couldn't agree. It wasn't that I had no feelings for Rachel or Becca, because I did, and not just an emotional pining between people who are reasonably attracted to each other. Becca had been in my life for a few weeks and my connection with her was already deeper than the one I shared with Katherine in the months before Miss Gold's letter. It wasn't fair.
"It's not fair to Rachel or Becca either," she said. "You realized that even before I did."
I gave her a sharp look. "Are you reading my mind now?"
"I don't have to, I know what self-pity feels like." She went up on her toes and kissed me passionately for a long time. My will finally broke and I had to resist the urge to pull off her towel and take her then and there. When she broke away she gave me a knowing, satisfied smile and led me back to her room, all thoughts of a stroll around the island laid to rest.
By lunch, we needed another shower and managed to squeak one in before Becca emerged from the basement where she was practicing growth spells in the new Arcanum. Rachel was another matter, but after that morning, asking her for privacy would have been absurd.
"What's this?" Katherine asked while we dried off, watching a pair of tiny legs walk up the cobblestone path bearing a large pumpkin, intricately carved with butterflies. I hastily wrapped a towel around my waist.
"It's Halloween," Amy answered and set down her burden. "Don't tell me I'm the only one who noticed." The girls looked at each other, then back at the hob who was grinning broadly, arms crossed.
"Yeah, maybe you missed the memo," Rachel said. "Trick or Treats are off the menu this year."
Amy ignored her. "Hope you ladies are prepared. It turns out I'm a kickass music box ballerina."
"We don't have any costumes," Katherine said, but she was already suspicious, grinning back and forth between us.
"Yeah," I said, "about that. Rachel, check under the coffee table."
She gave me a dubious stare, then leaned forward and retrieved three boxes wrapped in black paper with yellow and orange ribbons.
"It's Halloween, dumbass, not Christmas."
"Har har. If you don't mind, I'm going to get dressed. Go ahead and open them."
By the time I returned, Katherine had already worked her way into an angel costume, if that was the right word for it. It was fur and vinyl with leather straps and a gilded halter top and matching bikini bottoms. It came with a pair of small, articulated wings that spread open when you pulled on a string.
"Victoria's Secret, here I come!" she beamed when she saw me. "Where did you get these?"
"Long story," I said. They're a little revealing, but my options were limited."
"Are you kidding? This is amazing!"
Becca had emerged and was holing hers up, examining rows of large, blue and green sequins on a narrow, transparent skirt. "Is this a mermaid?"
"I think so," I said, shrugging. "It was that or a nurse in a thong."
"Hey Tom," Rachel interrupted, and clacked open a pair of fur lined handcuffs. "You trying to tell me something?"
"Uh," I said, taking a small step back. "I didn't know it came with accessories."
"It's just weird," she said. "The outfit's more superhero than dominatrix, but the cuffs are definitely for playtime." She indicated the black, full body skinsuit and overlapping, studded harness. "Are you sure these are supposed to go together?"
"Look in the back," Katherine smirked. "You can get the suit off without removing the straps."
"Stripper wear?" Rachel laughed. "You bought these at Daydreams, didn't you? Never thought I'd ever catch Tom Corwen in a sex shop."
"I didn't know, okay?" I blushed. "I did the best I could. We can't even have stuff delivered here."
"Well suit up," Amy said before turning away. "I have to finish decorating, then we're going to enjoy the hell out of ourselves."
Even Becca was surprisingly unabashed, perhaps even eager to try hers on, so I left them alone to implement the advice the Daydreams cashier had given me. Without my own costume I'd have felt like a voyeur, but it was more than that. I was damned tired of constant restraint, and for just one night I wanted to feel comfortable with the girls I shared my life with. That meant a bit of reciprocation was in order, and maybe a little humiliation.
The final result wouldn't have won any awards, but it was passable. I descended from the office to find half a dozen more pumpkins glowing around the common room, which was festooned with clusters of black and orange balloons, streamers, party lights and fake cobwebs. I marveled at how quickly Amy had pulled it all together, but then a swift movement behind one of the crepe paper bows caught my attention. A brownie—that wasn't Amy—winked at me before vanishing among the clutter.
Amy had lured the others downstairs while I finished, all according to plan, and I nervously boarded the birdcage, descending to the ballroom where the others had gathered, then waited in the hallway just out of sight for the prearranged signal.
Without warning, the bright globe dimmed and a spotlight with no discernible source illuminated the arch in front of me.
"Are you ladies ready?" Amy's voice echoed through the room.
"What's going on?" Rachel called out from the dais.
Amy's giggle echoed off the walls. "May I present, for your viewing pleasure—" her voice mimicked a drum roll, "Handyman Tom!"
Wincing at the nickname, I performed my best disco strut, awkwardly dancing into the light wearing the denim coveralls the Fae had provided on our first night in Meridian. Amy had been able to produce a hardhat that was left behind after construction, with a worn tool belt and an assortment of gear. A pair of work boots and aviators completed the look. She also suggested I unzip the suit to my navel but after some deliberation, I left it a few inches higher.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before all three girls burst into hysterics, and for once I wasn't bothered by it. When they came up for air, Katherine glided down the stairs, looking every inch like a celestial being, and pulled me back up to the dance floor just as DJ Amy dropped a sick beat. Music erupted from the very air around us. Laughter turned into playful catcalls and every tension dissolved as our bodies found the rhythm. I had never been a dancer, but I joined in enthusiastically amid colored lights and ghostly strobes, and after the first song, Amy, with her hair up in a bun, wearing a leotard and a tutu, left the music room to join us.
It wasn't really a party. There hadn't been much planning, and the impromptu dance didn't last more than a handful of songs, but the chance to put all anxiety and inhibition to rest, if only for a while, was worth every second. It was a moment in time that I'd cherish forever despite the ordeals that followed.
"...fuckin' el guapo! Shit, that was classic!" Rachel cackled from her spot on the sofa while Becca joined in, hugging her knees and giggling uncontrollably. Amy was just as bad, her high voice tittering as she perched near Becca's head. Katherine leered overtly at me as she retrieved the remote to hunt for a movie we'd all enjoy. Apparently, the role of handyman included all servile tasks, so I had been instructed to make popcorn, and I proffered my services with a smile.
Echoes of joyful conversation kept me floating as I worked, bouncing on my heels in the kitchen until the television winked on. Then a flash of memory lanced through my mind in Penny's voice.
She attacked a professor last week. They say she was trying to kill him.
"Stop!" I shouted and spun toward the living room, dropping the bowl and scattering popcorn across the floor.
"Thomas? What—"
"Quiet! Turn it back."
"What?"
"The news, turn it back on!" Her brows dropped in concern, but she flicked the remote without question, and the tailored baritone of a news anchor filled the room.
"...shot Martinez four times after she repeatedly stabbed a nurse with a fountain pen at East Presbyterian Hospital, where she was being held for psychiatric observation."
I walked slowly around the bar and stood staring at the announcer and the thumbnail photo of Sloane Martinez, Katherine's old roommate.
"...Nurse Anthony Richards was declared dead on the scene..."
Rachel cursed quietly while Becca asked what had happened. I waved them both to silence.
"...was hospitalized after attacking a professor at Berkshire-Avery University when an argument broke out on campus."
The scene shifted and a teacher I didn't recognize stood nervously in front of the camera.
"She came into my office after the weekend and asked for a better grade," he told the reporter, "She offered me. . . sexual favors in exchange so I—I told her to leave, and that's when she. . ."
"Bullshit!" Rachel interrupted, "She wouldn't even dry hump that sonofabitch!"
"Quiet Rachel," Katherine said, a tear running down her face. She was staring at me intently with a look that resembled the dread I felt. Another flash of memory emerged.
You bastard asshole liar, I hate you! I hate you! Take me home!
I had never seen her so angry. I looked back at the television, but instead of the blonde anchorwoman I saw Miss Gold's face.
I found your mother in the psychiatric ward of a local hospital where she was taken after she assaulted and seriously injured a fellow student.
Another flash, this time echoing from the dark cellar beneath Stewart Hall, a primal, murderous howl, followed by my father leering cruelly from the shadows.
I don't need to know where you live to burn your world to the ground.
I stepped forward and stared at the news that still played on the screen in front of me, but I was no longer listening to it.
"Amy can you search the web from here?"
"Yeah, Tom," she answered solemnly, "what am I looking for?"
"Obituaries. Rob Foster."
She borrowed Becca's phone and began tapping. The television flickered for a moment and the news was replaced by a web browser. A few more taps. A pause. Then she hit enter with the palm of her hand.
"Rob Foster," I read aloud. "Died of his injuries on the nineteenth of October, the day after his car struck a tree near Serenity Green." I had to wait for the lump in my throat to pass before speaking again. "What day was that?"
"The nineteenth?" Becca asked, looking frightened. "Tuesday."
"Meaning he crashed on a Monday. Sloane attacked the professor on a Monday morning."
Rachel looked at me as if she'd been struck. "Tom, don't," she begged, but I couldn't stop.
"Glory lured me to the basement on Sunday night. She died early Monday morning." I swallowed hard.
I don't need to know where you live to burn your world to the ground.
The forgotten nightmare coalesced into physical pain below my ribs. Sloane and Rob were messages for me, people connected to those I loved, erased from the world without a thought on the day I took Gloria's life. He was taunting me, showing off how much he knew about each of us, how closely he could strike.
"The story we saw about Mike," I began. Nobody finished because we were all thinking the same thing. Becca was in my father's crosshairs too.
Rachel stood slowly. Her face was frozen as if she wanted to look away but couldn't, and I met her shattered eyes with steel. "Tom?" she said in a small voice.
"What?"
"We need to kill him."
"I don't know how."
"FUCK YOU!" she screamed suddenly in unfettered rage. "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! HE'S FUCKING DEAD!" Rachel struck out at me, beating her frustration against my chest. I was too stunned to move and too numb to feel it.
"Stop it!" Katherine cried and pulled me backward, placing her body between us as she had once before. Rachel's eyes widened as her anger turned inward, then she crumbled to her knees.
Becca knelt down and collected Rachel in an embrace. They held each other on the floor, Becca stroking Rachel's hair while the strongest person I'd ever known wept without restraint. I don't care how long I live or how much of the universe I see, nothing will ever be stranger or more beautiful to me than Rachel finding comfort in Becca's arms.