Isabel
A week has passed since my conversation with Jhoana. She's been extra clingy lately when I told her what I feel. She's calling me every time she has chance.
Nasa manila siya ngayon while here I am preparing my things, because I'm gonna go there. Tomorrow is Ate Mika and Ate Ara's wedding. I already bought my suit for tomorrow, I'm just finishing some paperworks here before going back there.
"Hi Ate Bei, are you ready na?" Deanna
"I'm almost done na. Ikaw ba?" Bea
"Yes po. I'll wait for you outside na lang." Deanna
"Ten minutes, tapos na ako dito." Bea
"Alright." Deanna
I turned off my laptop. It's weekend, I need some time off too. Deanna waited for me here in Quezon instead of coming with Jia and the others.
She doesn't want me to go alone.
I got my backpack, wallet, phone and car key.
"Sorry I made you wait." Bea
"Okay lang Ate Bea! Para kang others, nag iintay nga ako kay Jema for hours sa shopping eh. Ano ba naman yung ten minutes hahaha!" Deanna
"Sumbong kita!" Bea
"Hoyy! I'm just telling the truth no!" Deanna
My phone rings..
"Let me answer this, start mo na yung engine hehehe." Bea
She happily obliged
"Hey baby, what's up?" Bea
I mouthed Jhoana to Deanns.
"Where are you baby?" Jhoana
"We're leaving palang dito sa resort. Why baby?" Bea
"Wala naman. I'm excited to see you after a week. Drive safe okay?" Jhoana
"Yes baby, gotta go. I'll see you later, you should sleep! It's still early." Bea
"I just want to check up on you." Jhoana
"Now don't pout. Hahaha you're cute cannot wait to hug you." Bea
"Get a room you two!" Deanna
"Hahahaha sorry baby, we need to go para pag gising mo nandiyan na ako." Bea
"Alright baby, bye! Ingat ha! Deanna ingat kayo! I love you." Jhoana
"I love you my sunshine." Bea
"Tamis naman!" Deanna
Jhoana dropped the call already. It's only 3 in the morning. And she made sure, she'll call before I go.
"Ako na magdrive Ate Bei so you can rest? Palit na lang tayo sa stop over?" Deanna
"Are you sure?" Bea
"Yeah im sure! You need rest. Mukha ilang araw ka nang walang tulog." Deanna
Sumakay na kami sa kotse ko.
"What's happening?" Deanna
"You know, Me, Jho and there's still Nico." Bea
"Wala pa din ba?" Deanna
"Wala pa din. But she gave me assurance but it's been two weeks Deanna. I know we broke up that night. I know it's not a dream." Bea
"You mean, you know that really happened?" Deanna
"Yes! I only had eight beers I think, di ako ganon kalasing para makalimutan ko yon no. And Jia told me too." Bea
"I heard Nico's coming to the wedding?" Deanna
"What?" Bea
"You heard me. I saw him at the RSVP list the other day. I think she's close with Ate Ara. Maybe cousin or something." Deanna
"Wala namang nababanggit sa akin si Jhoana." Bea
"Maybe she doesn't know? Maybe it's a surprise or something. We need to be more careful Ate Bei." Deanna
This is another headache.
"Imagine the chaos would be when Jhoana is with Nico." Bea
"I know, are you gonna be okay?" Deanna
"I have to. Ayaw ko namang gumawa ng eksena sa kasal ni Ate Mika." Bea
"For sure, Jhoana's gonna stay with Nico, all night. Are you ready for that?" Deanna
"I don't know Deanns. I might get jealous, but I don't wanna ruin the party. Hoping and praying to all gods out there that Nico would not talk to me that night." Bea
"I want to see a jealous Beadel pa naman but as much as I wanna be there for you, I have prior commitment with Jema so I cannot go." Deanna
"Oh no, it's gonna be a long sad night, without you there, wala na nga si Jhoana sa tabi ko tapos wala ka pa." Bea
"Jia would be there. She could be your date." Deanna
"Parang ayaw ko na lang umattend kung makikita ko si Jhoana at Nico. I don't feel good about it." Bea
"But ALE would be there and Kianna too. You don't have to be sad, just focus on the good things muna. For sure naman sayo pa din uuwi si Jhoana." Deanna
"Sana nga." Bea
Deanna
Ate Bea fell asleep after we talk, she really looks so tired kaya hindi na kami dumaan sa stop over para diretso tulog niya. I really accompanied her because Ate Jia asked me to.
She said it's for her safety. We're safe naman kasi we have company at the back, that's her guards.
And for my peace of mind, ako na din nagdrive sa kanya.
Ate Jia told me about Miguel. She doesn't want to say it to Bea because she still doesn't know when will she have the chance to talk to Miguel again. Miguel asked her to keep her phone available, because anytime he'll call.
Other than that Miguel said that Nico is planning something big that no one knows about kaya sabi ni Miguel, Bea needs to be careful. He's trying to gather information about what would Nico do.
After four hours driving, nakadating na din kami sa Katipunan. Kuya Loel asked me to bring her home also and Jhoana is waiting for her.
I also talked to Ate Jhoana and she said the same thing over again. Mahirap.
Her words was "Imagine throwing all the good three years with Nico. Just like wow in just a day tatapusin ko na lang lahat yon?"
She loves Nico but she loves Ate Bea too. But you cannot love two people at the same time.. ayaw ko lang dumating sa time na mamimili na siya on the most crucial time.
"Ate Bei, wake up nandito na tayo sa bahay niyo." Deanna
"Oh di mo na ko ginising sa stop over." Bea
"Okay lang, you need to rest." Deanna
"I thought I said we'll go to Jhoana." Bea
"Oh Kuya Loel called he said to drop you by here first." Deanna
"Okay, thank you Deanns, let's grab breakfast first." Bea
"Wag na Ate, Jema's waiting for me. I need to go." Deanna
"Are you sure?" Bea
"Yeah, let's catch up later okay?" Deanna
"Alright ingat sa pagdridrive." Bea
Bea
I entered my house and naabutan ko silang kakain ng breakfast.
"Good morning." Bea
"Oh my god Bea! It's been so long my baby!" Mommy
I gave them a hug and kiss because I really do miss them. I haven't seen them for almost a month.
"Long time no see sis." Kuya Loel
"I miss you too kuya." Bea
"You should clean up first Bea, we'll wait for you here. Go upstairs muna." Daddy
"Okay daddy, I'll be quick." Bea
I immediately went upstairs. Which to my surprise my bedroom is unlocked.
Ahhh baka pinalinis nina mom. Maybe the maid forgot to lock it.
I open my door and to my surprise someone is sleeping on my bed.
I carefully walk around it and to my surprise it's my Jhoana.
I caressed her face and kissed her forehead.
"Good morning love." Bea
She slightly opened her eyes before jumping out of bed.
"Oh my god! Hi! Halaaaaa! Di na kita nasurprise." Jhoana
"Don't worry baby, im still surprise to see you here you know." Bea
"Can we atleast cuddle?" Jhoana
"As much as I want to. Dad is waiting for us downstair. Maglinis lang ako okay? Then let's eat and cuddle?" Bea
"Alright! Be quick baby!" Jhoana
Bumaba na kami ni Jhoana after my quick shower, I don't want my family to wait for me.
"Good morning Tito and Tita and Kuya Loel." Jhoana
"I told you hija, call us Mom and Dad as you always do." Mommy Det
"Oo nga po pala sorry Mom." Jhoana
"Come on ladies let's eat." Daddy
We sat near Dad and on the other side is Kuya Loel and Mom.
"So how's your resort Bea?" Daddy
"It's almost done dad, 3 weeks max, matatapos na yon." Bea
"That's good to hear, finally matatapos mo na childhood dream mo." Daddy
"Yeah, I'm planning to open it this summer, soft opening." Bea
"Just tell me what you need so we can help you." Mom
"Thanks Mom." Bea
"Ikaw Jhoana? How's working with your firm?" Daddy
"Okay naman po Dad, loaded lang po ng mga bagong client but I can still manage pa naman po." Jhoana
He smiled at Jhoana and continue eating, we catch up because we miss each other.
Mom and Dad left early because they need to buy clothes for their Amiga's birthday party.
While Kuya is going to have a date with Bianca today.
"What do you want to do today?" Bea
"Wala naman baby, do you have something in mind?" Jhoana
"Date tayo?" Bea
"Hmmm.." Jhoana
"Ay pinag-isipan pa, grabe naman yon!" Bea
"Kidding lang baby! Of course I would date you! Ikaw pa ba!" Jhoana
"Where do you want to go?" Bea
"It's kinda early baby, tulog ka muna kaya? Then let's have lunch outside?" Jhoana
"That sounds like a plan, I need to buy clothes din pala for tomorrow's wedding." Bea
"Alright, sige let's go to the mall later, for now pahinga ka muna okay." Jhoana
Sinunod ko naman ang utos ni kumander. Baka magalit.
~~
I already bought my suit for tomorrow and now we're on my car hinatid ko si Jhoana pauwi. Outside her building
She doesn't seem okay.
"Are you okay baby? Is there something you want to tell me?" Bea
"Bei uhmmm." Jhoana
"Yeah?" Bea
"I know I promised that I'll be your date for tomorrow's wedding but kanina ko lang nalaman na Nico will be attending because she's Ate Ara's cousin. I'm sorry mahal." Jhoana
"I heard." Bea
"Please don't be mad." Jhoana
"I'm not mad, im just disappointed that instead of me, you'll be going with Nico because he's your fiancé." Bea
"I'm sorry mahal, promise after this, I'll fix this mess. Promise konting hintay na lang mahal." Jhoana
"I'll wait for you always Jhoana." Bea
"Don't be mad okay? After the party, I'll go straight home to you." Jhoana
"I love you Jho." Bea
"I love you mahal." Jhoana
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ara and Mika's wedding.
Beatriz arrived at the wedding hall with Jia as her date. While on the other side of the church there's Nico and Jhoana.
The both of them keep stealing glances at each other. They cannot use their phone because Nico might caught them and ayaw ni Bea non.
She doesn't want to be labeled as the dirty mistress.
That's why she wants Jhoana to finish it.
All of Team Besh is here and some of former ALE too.
The brides are now exchanging vows and as they say those words. Jhoana mouthed I love you to Beatriz which made the latter looks like a tomato.
They carefully ignore each other and casually talk when necessary. Or when Nico is not around.
Nico knows Beatriz will be there.
The wedding ceremony is done, all guests proceeds to the reception hall.
BEA
I was sitting by myself at a the couch where Ate Ara and Mika's wedding reception is held. I'm waiting for the girls, who are having their own moment at the comfort room. While the other girls are talking to the newly weds. But I'm waiting for the girls in the comfort room, Jia and Team Besh and of course Jhoana but she's with Nico as her plus one.
I'm simply drinking a whiskey I got in the bar. Not that kind of rough night but it's kinda sore in the eyes seeing the love of your life with someone you hate with.
"Hey! I know you!" Nico
speaking of the devil...
I can smell the alcohol reeking on him. It's too early for drinking.
"Nico Evangelista pare!" Nico
he extend his hand but I didn't even move an inch.
"Isabel." Bea
"A friend of Jhoana right? I'm Jhoana's boyfriend." Nico
"Oh nice." Bea
"Can I introduce you around a little bit?" Nico
"Excuse me? What are you saying?" Bea
"This is my cousin's wedding, I'd like to get you a partner so you won't look lonely. You seem a little creepy sitting here all by yourself." Nico
"I'm just waiting for the girls man." Bea
"Alright, best luck with that." Nico
"You like this right?" Bea
"I'm sorry like what?" Nico
"I know, you know me so drop the act. I heard Jhoana leaves you behind. She goes and has her life without you. Now you have her now again and got to see her reject her past and all that." Bea
"I mean I like it a little bit.. haha" Nico
"Yeah? Let me tell you what I like. I like the fact that Jhoana told me everything about you Nico." Bea
"Okay?" Nico
"She told me. That when she was with you, she would wake up at night in a panic, thinking "Is this all there is?"" Bea
"Wow! She told you everything huh?" Nico
"Uhum, I think I'm still her bestfriend tho." Bea
"Did she tell you that she threw herself at me the other day? Did she tell you that? Or did she stop telling you everything when she knew that I'm the one she loves and not some pathetic boss slash bestfriend who appeared out of nowhere?" Nico
"Look.. I get why you're being such a dick. You obviously love her. And you think you're gonna get her back. But the thing is she out grew you before. What makes you think that won't happen again?" Bea
"Thank you for that advice. I will maul it over while I'm in bed with the love of your life." Nico
I punched him. He punched me back
"Nico!" Jhoana
"Bea!" Jia
"Beatriz!" Kianna
"Bei!" ALE
Jhoana goes with him while the rest of the girls attended to me.
"What are you doing?!" Jhoana
"She punched me first!" Nico
"Because you are being a dick!" Bea
I was about punch him again but Thirdy stopped me and hold me tight. But Nico on the other hand got me served by a punch again. But Thirdy stopped him.
"Fuck you!" Bea
"Atleast I get to fuck her." Nico said as he whispered it right enough for me to hear
God! I am so angry right now!
"Nico ano ba! Nakakahiya na sa mga bisita." Jhoana
"Know your place Isabel Beatriz. " Nico
And He kiss Jhoana in front of me, and everyone. She responded which made my heart broken into pieces.
I let go of myself with them and go outside to breathe. I need air.
"Bea wait!" Jia
I started running away from the party. and found myself along with the waves.
"wow deja vu, how things were like this five years ago, in a party again, where she picked him over me again and again! Fuck!!!" Bea
I sat by the beach where I can watch the waves and the air is crashing in to my face.
( Paubaya - Moira )
"Bea..." Jhoana
I stand up and approach her. And was about to hug her when she stopped me. She took a step back away from me.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Jhoana
"I don't know, that's a really good question! Because I've been driving myself insane! Making a complete ass of myself! Literally trying everything possible to try to save what we have Jho! And you've been throwing yourself at Nico. Which you told me na I should wait for you because you'll come back. But maybe I'm just fooling myself to believe that it will come true." Bea
"That's not fair!" Jhoana
"It's not fair? Are you hearing yourself?" Bea
"I see the way you look at him. I know... because you used to look at me that way. And I accepted it. I waited for you to finish it, because you promised! You promised Jhoana!" Bea
"Bea... I—" Jhoana
" No I think we need to start being realistic. You're not coming back. The fact that I'm still just a mere bestfriend and a past. And things we do, which we shouldn't be doing but you told me to wait for you, and so I did Jho, I always did." Bea
"I'm not trying to hurt you. But I'm just.... I'm so tired of disappointing you." Jhoana
"I know." Bea
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't keep my promise. I'm sorry for making you wait." Jhoana
"I'll apologise to Ara and Mika for the mess I need to go. Sorry for ruining the night." Bea
"Oh God...please listen to me. I'm still finding the right time to finish it." Jhoana
We started crying....
"Jhoana stop! Are you hearing yourself? We're gonna go to the same scenario all over again. I don't want to hear those words that I should wait. Kasi wala naman na ata akong hihintayin? If you even say a word that I should wait. Back to zero na naman ako para bitawan ka. Let's just save ourselves sa heartbreak. Don't tell me to wait again. When in fact I'm the one who always wait Jhoana! Paano naman ako? Jhoana do you really love me?" Bea
"Bea... I do love you but.." Jhoana
"There's a but, now I understand Jhoana. It's okay I understand everything. Wow I didn't think we'll get here at this moment. I'm sorry Jhoana, but I can't do this again. I love you, always remember that." Bea
I just stared at her for a moment. She's a crying mess and so am I. How can I stop her from crying when I can't even stop myself because I'm hurting too...
"I think this is it mahal. How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it's time to walk away?" Bea
I started walking away from her. I'm tired
"Bea!" Jhoana
I looked back at her
"Can you stay for five minutes?" Jhoana
I nod.
She hugs me.
"I'm sorry. Losing you was the biggest and hardest one of all. I never thought I'd get through it. I mean after that I... I had to learn to let go of the past a little and listen to my heart. " Jhoana
"Shhh it's okay, I understand." Bea
"I'm sorry naging duwag ako. I'm sorry kung mas pinili kong matakot kesa ipaglaban to. I'm sorry kung iiwan na naman kita." Jhoana
"Jho, look at me. It's okay, tanggap ko, tanggap ko na hindi mo na ako ganon kamahal. Tanggap ko mahal, tanggap ko na mas mahal mo siya. Kahit masakit tatanggapin ko. Always remember that I love you Jhoana. I'm sorry if I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I'm sorry if you wasted your three years trying to cope up by yourself. I'm sorry mahal, wala ako nung kailangang kailangan mo ako. I'm sorry kung hindi kita agad naalala nung una kitang nakita. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone. I'm sorry mahal." Bea
"Beiii I'm sorry." Jhoana
"It's okay mahal, you don't have to be sorry. Tanggap ko na, pipilitin kong tanggapin mahal. Mahal kita Jhoana Louisse" Bea
I let go of our hug.
"10 seconds? Can I kiss you for one last time?" Bea
It's a bitter sweet kiss.
" I hope one day I can love you the way that you want me to love you" Jhoana
I tried to smile at her and composed myself.
"You don't have to mahal. I know deep inside you still do.... Maybe in the next life time, you figured it out once, you'll do it again. Just remember that I know I love you since I laid my eyes on you on Eliazo. " Bea
I walked away from her. Without hearing any single word from her.
I left my car and walk myself to Deanna's place three blocks away from here. I can't afford driving myself again while all my emotions are bottling up. I can't afford to lose my life again.
Heavy rain started to pour and my suit is all wet. But I keep on walking.
I knocked at her door.
"SHIT!" Deanna
I hugged her real tight and cry myself out.
"You're here and not there. Are you okay? What happened to your face? Let's get you inside. I'm here." Deanna
We sit at her couch.
"Babe who's that?" Jema
"Oh my god! Ate Bei. What happened?" Jema
"I'm done. It's over. I give up." Bea
"You never give up Ate Bea." Deanna
"No, if we were meant to be together, we'd be together. I was just thinking the first time that we went to a French restaurant. In the corner, there was a big banner saying "Now serving soup" and I just started to go and on about all the struggles and obstacles that the owner must've overcome to achieve his life long dream of serving soup." Bea
Deanna laughed.
"And then... When I was finished she didn't say anything for a few seconds and... she just... she just sort of exhaled it almost to herself.
"I love you" I just hung there, I hung myself with those three words. It was her first time she said it. And I didn't even want to respond. All I wanted is to keep hearing it."
I see Deanna's eyes are forming tears as well
"That was two weeks after I confessed my feelings for her. I know to myself that I'm inlove with her. It only took her two weeks to fall inlove with me before." Bea
I wiped my tears. It's getting heavy inside.
"She doesn't love me." Bea
Deanna hugged me, hoping the pain I have inside will be wiped out. I cried myself tirelessly.
"Hindi na ba niya ako mahal? I did everything she wanted. I waited for her, I patiently waited for her promise. But she didn't. Maybe hindi ako enough. Enough for her to fulfill her promise. Maybe her love for me wasn't enough para iwan siya. Baka talaga namang hindi niya ako mahal. Pero bakit ganon Deanns, the way she show herself to me for the past weeks, it seems real." Bea
"She loves you Ate Bea. Maybe she's just afraid of what will happen if he leave Nico." Deanna
"You don't understand. She said infront of my face that maybe eventually one day she can love me the way I love her. She doesn't love me that much. Nico has her heart now. And I know she loves Nico like the way she loves me before." Bea
"Did you tell her you remember?" Deanna
"What for? As if saying it to her now would change anything! It's over Deanns. I'm tired Nico can have her, that's clearly what she wants I'm done fighting for this love it's exhausting." Bea
"Here's some clothes Ate Bei, you're soaking wet." Jema
"Thank you." Bea
"Go get change, we'll drink okay?" Deanna
Jhoana
"You don't have to baby. I know deep inside you still do.... Maybe in the next life time, you figured it out once, you'll do it again. Just remember that I know I love you since I laid my eyes on you on Eliazo. " Bea
"What do you mean??" Jhoana
But Bea started to walk away from me and didn't utter and single word. I never got an answer from her. I started crying. Parang gumuho ang mundo ko.
Nasaktan ko na naman siya. I let my body fall down at the sand. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. I can't stop crying.
"my goodness Jhoana are you okay?" Ate Den
Dumating ang buong ALE
"We already broke up, she told me, she love me ever since she laid her eyes on me at Eliazo."
"Oh my god! Jhoana, where's Bea?" Ate Ly
"She left." Jhoana
"What do you mean she left?" Jia
"She already left. She walked away from me." Jhoana
"Shit! Jhoana are you even thinking? She already said that! My God Jhoana! You just let her leave??? Fuck! If anything happens to her again Jho, I won't forgive you anymore." Jia
"Ly, hanapin niyo na muna si Bea. Ako na bahala dito kay Jhoana." Ella
"I'll join you. Jho let's go inside, malamig dito." Ate Den
"What did Jia meant to say?" Jhoana
"Siguro mas maganda kung kay Bea manggagaling yan. We need to find Bea first, nakainom ba yon? Baka may masamang mangyari don." Ate Ella
"God I won't even forgive myself, if anything happens to her." Jhoana
We heard a big crash sounds of vehicle outside. And people screaming for help.
"Grabe men kawawa yung sakay nung Toyota Camry na white sa labas." Random person
"Kuya Anong nangyari?" Jia
"Nawalan po ata ng preno yung Toyota Camry white eh biglang stop signal, eh may dadaan na truck kaya nadanas po nung ten wheeler na truck, lipad nga po yung kotse eh." Random person
"Anong kotse?" Ella
"Toyota Camry white miss." Random person
"Tangina ganon ang dalang kotse ngayon ni Bea." Ella
As I heard what Ate Ella said. Nagsimula akong tumakbo kung nasaan ang aksidente. They keep calling my name but I don't want to stop running. Hindi pwedeng mangyari na naman ulit to. I cannot lose her again. Jhoana
Hanggang sa makaabot ako, nakita ko kung paano magliyab ang kotse.
"Bea!!" Jhoana
Ate Ella tried to hold me from going near the car.
"Ate Ells bitawan mo ko! Hindi pwede to! Not again! Pleaseee Bea needs me. I can't lose her." Jhoana
"Jhoana huli na ang lahat... I'm sorry." Ate Ella
Alyssa
Dumating naman na ang mga pulis para mag imbestiga, pinatay na din ng mga bumbero ang apoy mula sa sasakyan. Jhoana on the other hand is still crying.
"Woman in her 20s wearing a suit. Dead on the spot. We recovered a wallet, a picture she's holding and a ring." Police
"Did you identify the person?" Ate Ly
"We found an Identification Card, Isabel Beatriz Paras. The Ceo of Lion X Machina. Are you friends with her? Here's what we recovered." Police
"What's the reason of the accident?" Ate Ly
"We're still investigating ma'am." Police
Kinuha ko naman ang gamit na narecover nila.
"She's holding your picture with her, Jhoana. While she was driving. And here's a ring, I thingk this is for you." Ate Ly
"That's not mine. Oh my god! It was our ring before, the ring I gave her before our accident. Why does she still have this?" Jhoana
Jhoana started crying again.
While on the other hand. Jia's crying too, everyone's crying. I kept Bea's wallet. Binalik naman sa akin ni Ella yung ring at picture ni Jhoana at Bea.
"Keep it, maybe they'll need that for investigation later." Ate Ella
Dumating naman na ang ibang ALE at ang bagong kasal na si Mika at Ara with their other La Salle Friends.
"Oh my god! What happened?" Mika
"It's Bea, Bea got into accident." Alyssa
"Where is she now?" Ara
"She's gone." Alyssa
I started breaking down too. Di ko kinakaya. She doesn't deserve this.
Den den hugged me as she breaks down too.
"The police are calling us. We need to go." Jia
"You guys should go, enjoy your wedding, kami na bahala dito. We're very sorry for ruining your night." Alyssa
Umalis naman na kami at nagsimula magdrive papuntang morgue.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Miss niyo ba ako? Hehe! Saktan ko muna kayo </3
Medyo sabaw sa unang part but I did my best! Writer Block for the past weeks!