"I meant it Shehnaaz." towering over her but this time not dominatingly. She stared at his eyes confused. He hesitated for a moment but in the next he touched her. He held her arms with both of his hands. Bowing his head a bit to her.
"I want to fix this. Please give me a chance." He said and her breath hitched.
*****
Shehnaaz's breath got hitched hearing him asking a chance from her. A chance!! What does he mean? He wants a chance to fix it. What was there to fix. They didn't have anything between them without a forceful relationship, a forced marriage, a Deal to end this after a time. Or was there?
Standing in his hold, him towering over her, eyes barely two inches away from each other, his eyes trying to penetrate in her heart through her eyes, feeling his breath falling in her nose, Shehnaaz had to think about some moments between them. Despite his being an asshole.
All the time she felt something for him, let this be just an attraction but she felt it too. When she used to find admiration in his eyes for her. When he called her baby. When they were smoothly coping with each other and enjoyed their company. When he gave her claim his mom as hers despite being so jealous about it. When his family made her theirs. When he gave her all the right over his family and everything. When he hugged her, cried in her arms craving for comfort remembering his dad. When he hugged her getting scared of something in the marine drive, when he brought Siraat here just for her happiness, just to see her smile. He had to make some losses to do so, but he did.
Why??? He did all these because he felt something for her!! And she!!! Despite being everything the pull she feel for him. What was that? Was it purely physical? Just a physical pull to a guy or there was something more? There was always some weird attraction between them. They both knew it. They both saw it in each other's eyes from the very beginning. But choose to ignore it, or not saying out loud. Is that was it? Something from which he is asking a right, a chance. That something what she didn't realized existed between the two. Now when situation like this came and she wants to end it, he is asking for a beginning. Or was he? Or it was just for another short time. Of course you can't trust someone so easily who broke it in the first place. Doing a forceful marriage that too with a deadline. That's it. Shehnaaz again made her mind not to give into him as long as her mind doesn't get clear from all the toxic he put in to. She needs a lot of answers before.
She was frozen in his hold. Quiet and frozen. But he didn't say anything and waited for her to response and take as much time she needs. He was just holding her close, looking into her eyes, Showing his heart off and hoping for a reply that could turn their life in another direction. To happiness.
But was he really ready to do that?
It was a long while when Shehnaaz replied.
"I can't" breaking his hopes. She could see his eyes getting hopeless. She felt a pinch in her heart too. But he didn't leave her from his hold.
"Kyun? Because of today? Please trust me baby. I wasn't suspecting you, I just got.... I just got Jealous. I'm sorry" his Baby send a chill to Shehnaaz's spine, even when she was so hurt by him. And he said he was jealous. Now he is saying out his feelings loud. Holy shit. He got jealous to see her in another arms. He said those still in the same position, holding her arms and bending his head a little lower to getting on her eye level. Making her confuse what to say now. When she didn't say anything he again pleaded.
"Please" with a little jerk. Sidharth Shukla is pleading her. That was quite unusual for her. She took a deep breath before starting
"Sidharth, I can't do this. Jo bhi hua wohh normal to nehi tha hamare bich. Aise saadi nehi hote. Wohh man se hota hain jo hamara nahi tha. Saadi koyi Mazak nehi hain par hamne isse mazak banaya. Aur mere man me vi bohut si sawal hain jinka jawab main aaj tak nehi dhund payi. Aise rishte ko agge lena galat hi hoga. Galat se kuch sahi to nikal nehi sakta." She finally opened her heart. Sidharth's felt relieved even her answer was no. at least she is opening her heart. Saying what she never spoke.
He spoke taking some time.
"Aur agaarr tumhe tumhare sare sawalo ke jawab mil jaye?" he asked to a surprised Shehnaaz because he never said why he did that to her. Why he married her like that. She asked him a thousand time before marriage. Why was he doing that but he never answered. But today he himself was ready to answer this.
So she didn't even wait for a second and asked
"Aapne aisa kyun kiya?"
"I told you, I couldn't tolerate you in his arms." He said guiltily. Though this wasn't what she asked him. She asked about their marriage, why he had to marry her like that but he answered today's incident. So she decided to end this first.
"Par kyun?" she asked. And he didn't even take a second to reply.
"Cause you are mine." This time his head came a little closer than before and the vulnerability in his eyes were now replaced with possessiveness. Like he was claiming her whole and sole from his eyes. His this change of expression and behavior shook her to her guards. His coming this close and saying this. His breathing falling on her nose and lips. Shivering her. There wasn't any need to ask anything more about today's incident as answered why. Though it wasn't justified behavior but he had apologized.
"Sit. You are standing for a long time. Pair dard karenge." He pushed her a little and made her sit on the bed. Placing a pillow behind her and pushing her to it to make her relaxed. She let him do all that. This question answer can take a lot time. He himself got into his side and came very close to her. Sat before her, facing her, looking straight into her eyes. He took her one hand and sandwiched in between his two.
He thought for a second what was he doing. He is giving into her. Is it right for him? The wall he created for himself to protect his heart, is going to shatter. But will his heart be okay. Despite knowing all the facts clear what could happen, he couldn't just let her walk out from his life. He couldn't. He felt himself choking in the thought of her leaving her. So he had to do it to stop her. Being so logical he knows he must come next so he got ready to answer all her questions.
Then she again took a breath and asked the very wanted answered.
"Aap ne mujhse Saadi kyun ki?"
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