Joe had gone to New York for the day. He'd just finished an interview regarding a film he was appearing in later in the year. Since Taylor had returned from tour, they'd been staying in their Rhode Island home - it was summer, and at least they had a lot of room there. Taylor had only left the house under the cover of night or early morning. Joe felt bad leaving her to go to New York, but she'd reassured him that she was quite happy messing about with the piano. He was glad, in many ways, that she had decided to record music because he knew that she struggled to relax, struggled to lounge about all day without a purpose. Taylor's bump was starting to show now, but for the moment it could still be hidden by a loose top. Any time Taylor had gone outside I'm during the daytime, she'd made sure that she was wearing something that could hide it, like a baggy T-shirt.
It felt odd to be out of the house without her. They loved each other's company so much that he never ever felt like he needed his own space.
Joe had a busy day planned - he'd made sure that he had enough time to arrange a surprise for Taylor. She'd never be expecting it, and he'd made an effort to always give her gifts. They weren't always the most expensive, sometimes it was just a small bunch of flowers, or a special piano piece that he'd written just for her, or some poetry. A couple of weeks ago he'd had the best idea, and today it was finally time to pick up the surprise.
He was picking it up at lunchtime, before he was heading back home. He was so excited and he knew that Taylor would be too.
She was sitting at her piano, facing the ocean. Initially it had been facing the wall, but Joe had suggested that it might be nice for her to look out at the sea while she played. It was such a good decision, because the waves inspired her so much. She was very relieved that she couldn't see the shore, because she knew that there would be fans down there hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Luckily her pool and most of the outdoor areas that she used were hidden by lush trees - almost completely blocking the garden from view.
"Vintage tee, brand new phone, high heels on cobble stones... when you are young they assume you know nothing," she sang as she'd played the sort of melody that she felt belonged with the track. She was working with Aaron on this one, and he'd asked her to send a rough idea of the melody. She actually didn't mind doing everything from home. Something about it allowed the lyrics to be more personal, more connected. She had spent a lot of time writing down different phrases over the last couple of years - and this song in particular took her back to the first time she'd sat down at the piano with Joe on her birthday. She'd listened to him play, heard the way his fingers had glided across the keys, and she'd thought about what his love was like. His love was the kind of love that covered up all your sharp, damaged edges. It didn't try to change her, to make her less broken or shove all the pieces back together in the wrong places. It wrapped them all up - and didn't care that she was broken. It's like the kind of love where it doesn't try and fix you but accepts and loves the broken parts anyway. It was the kind of love that she'd never had before - everyone else had always tried to change her, make her less broken. But Joe, he loved all parts of her. The good, the bad, the broken, and the whole. Just as she loved all parts of him.
It was nice to know that she wasn't going to be spotted by the public, that she didn't have to hide things. Joe had decided quickly that if she needed anything, then they'd either get it delivered to the house, or he'd go and get it. Initially she had felt guilty about this, but Joe had told her that he didn't mind.
She was trying to come up with the first verse - she'd come up with the majority of the chorus, and was halfway through the bridge, but she wanted to hear Aaron's ideas for the track before she solidified anything.
"Sequin smiles..." she muttered under her breath as she bit her lip. She liked that line. It made her smile. She thought of that dress she wore to the Met Gala all those years ago - that snakeskin dress that dazzled as if it had been made entirely out of sequins. She thought of the man with the blonde hair and lagoon eyes that had captivated her the second she saw him standing to the side of the crowd, scarcely dancing, champagne in his hand. She thought of how she had been dancing with Adam, but really, her heart was with someone else. A person she hadn't spoken to, or even shared a look with. A person that, in hindsight, was tied to her with a golden string. She couldn't believe where she was now - that she'd found her lover, the one that she was meant to find. And they were going to have a baby together. Taylor had always been uncertain about whether she wanted to bring children into a life that was as chaotic as hers, but now, she thought as she rested a hand on her growing bump, she couldn't see any other way it could have been. Because just like Taylor and Joe were meant to be together - this was meant to be too.
"... black lipstick... sensual politics..." the words came naturally now - the black lipstick that she'd worn on that night, that had ended up smeared across her face by the time Adam had stopped kissing her. The thought of it made Taylor feel sick. She hadn't heard anything from him, he hadn't released any music, and he hadn't posted on social media in months. She was able to forget about him easily now - although occasionally there would be days where she'd flinch as she walked up the stairs, or if a door shut loudly. Those days were inevitable.
"When you are young they assume you know nothing," She wasn't singing the words as such, she was more murmuring them under her breath. She sighed. "So, I think that the piano tune should be something along the lines of this," she said, and began playing her tune. "I'm sure that you're going to take this and make it absolutely amazing. I've got a few more lyrics - but I'll wait until I hear what masterpiece you're going to come up with!" She ended the voice recording and sent it to him. She was having fun, writing this album. It was the most fun she'd had in a while. She hadn't done anything like this album before, and that excited her. It was unlike anything she'd ever done before, and she thrived from that. She got up from the piano for the first time in a couple of hours, and went to find Meredith and Olivia.
She got a drink of water, and looking over at the clock, saw that it was time for lunch. Eating alone, in the house without Joe, was hard. The thoughts always tended to come back - always tried to get her to starve. That had happened the first few times Joe had gone out without her for a long period of time, and she'd been completely honest to him about it. He'd just kissed her, and told her that he'd make them both some food. He never judged her, even though she often felt like she was going insane.
Taylor leaned against the bench top, looking out at the garden. Joe had made her lunch, it was a sandwich and a banana. The sandwich was wrapped up beautifully in the fridge, with a note attached to it.
You can do this, love. Just take things one bite at a time. I love you.
She smiled as she pulled it out of the fridge. Taylor pulled her phone out of her pocket, and thanked him. It was mid afternoon, and the sky was grey. She sat on the couch and ate the sandwich and her banana. It was easier now that she could see her baby bump, it gave Taylor a purpose for her eating. She'd fucked up on tour and she certainly wasn't going to do that again.
New York was busy, but Joe managed to slip around unnoticed. He was always relieved when people didn't spot him, because he didn't want to have to ask any questions. He was in the car, driving to the airport, when he got Taylor's text thanking him for the sandwich. The two of them had worked hard to try and find a solution, something that would help Taylor eat more when he wasn't there. It seemed to be working.
"Are you ready to get on the plane?" He asked Taylor's present.
He got a meow in response.
After lunch, she had gone and sat in one of the spare rooms that faced the ocean for a while. She sat on the bed, watching the rain. The room was on the second floor, right beside Taylor and Joe's. she knew that it would get the evening sun, and it was the perfect size for a nursery, for a child's bedroom. Next week they were going to find out the gender of the baby, and Taylor couldn't even begin to express how excited she was for that.
Her hand rested on her stomach as she softly stroked it. This was going to be the perfect room. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't too small either.
She had this nagging feeling recently that wouldn't leave. It was all to do with the fact that her life was so hectic. The moment people found out about the baby, they'd be in the spotlight forever, without even trying. They wouldn't grow into it like she did - she'd gotten to choose this life for herself. This child wouldn't have that luxury. Something about this made Taylor feel bad. She didn't want them to never have the chance to breathe. She didn't want them to grow up feeing as suffocated as she did sometimes. She frowned, standing up. She equally as bad for Joe, too. He'd always told her that he wasn't bothered by the Paparazzi, all the cameras and the drama, but she knew that she'd robbed him of peace.
An idea for a song sprung into her head, and as she was walking downstairs, she started typing it down.
"I could never give you peace," she whispered. "... all these... people think love's for show... but I would die for you in secret."
It was a relief to be pulling up the drive. Joe sat with Taylor's present asleep in his lap. It was just starting to get dark out, and he was glad that he was home before they usually had dinner.
He got out of the car, holding her gift in his arms. He couldn't wait to see her - he felt like this whenever he was away from her, and he opened the door.
"Taylor?"
"Hi!" He heard her call through the room, and turned around when he saw her head peek down from upstairs. "I missed you!"
She came down quickly, and Joe smiled. "I've got something for you."
Taylor stopped as soon as she saw it, and squealed. "Oh my god! Where did he come from?" Joe laughed as her voice went high with excitement. He handed the kitten to her, and she kissed it. "Where's mine?" Joe chuckled, and Taylor looked up at him, beaming. She kissed him, and the kitten meowed in response. "He's a rescue," Joe told her. "I've wanted to get you one for a while, and when I saw him there, I just knew."
"He's perfect! Does he have a name?"
"Nope! You get to choose," Joe wrapped his arms around her.
"How am I ever going to - Nope, I've got the perfect name! Benjamin! As in Benjamin Button!" Taylor kissed the kitten again, cuddling it into her chest. "You didn't have to do this!" Taylor turned to face him, kissing him again. "Thank you,"
"There's absolutely nothing to thank me for!" Joe hugged her. "Did you have a good day?"
"I sent a couple of possible works to Aaron - and worked on some lyrics with Jack... but this beats everything. Well, seeing you here again is the highlight of my day." Taylor grinned. "Did you have a nice day? I've got pasta cooking now if you haven't eaten yet."
"Sounds delicious - my day was good. I forget how busy New York is until I'm in the centre of it all again." He smiled. "It's not the same without you. I swear that you are New York's beating heart." Her murmured into her ear.
Taylor blushed. "It wasn't the same here without you either."
After dinner, Taylor and Joe lay on the bed with Benjamin. Olivia absolutely adored having a new friend - Meredith wouldn't have a bar of him. She was sitting in the doorway, watching them. Taylor had already taken so many different photos and videos of Benjamin. She had already decided that she was going to post some of them - because she hadn't posted anything since her long post about cancelling the tour. She wanted her fans to still know she was alive. She captioned a photo of the Benjamin and her with And then there were three...
She lay with her head on Joe's chest, his arms around her.
"I love you," Taylor murmured as she nuzzled her head into his neck. "Thank you for being so incredible. Thank you for bringing home Benjamin. I wasn't expecting it."
"Of course! I saw him - I saw his eyes first and I knew that he was meant for us." Joe chuckled. "And he's got a pretty cute voice too, just like you."
"You have a good voice too," Taylor smiled. "I wish you'd sing more often. I love your voice. Especially with the piano."
Joe laughed. "I was just fooling around the other day."
"I want you to play that tune for me again," Taylor told him. "It's been stuck in my head on repeat for days. I think it's so simple, but so beautiful. Will you play it for me?"
Joe kissed her and agreed. They went to the Piano, Benjamin trailing along behind them, and Joe began to play.
"Did you really just come up with this yourself?" Taylor asked as he played. "Because it's just so breathtaking. It's simple - but it's mesmerising."
"I was seriously just fooling about," Joe nudged her. "You're the one with the talent."
"No - that's not true. You know, I've been thinking. I was wondering if we could try writing a song together - maybe with that piece. It's so beautiful, Joe. It would be so sad if no one got to hear it. You play so beautifully. And it might not work - and we might hate writing or working together, but I think that we should give it a go." Taylor paused. Joe had spread up the melody slightly, and she felt goosebumps all over herself. "But you've got a way with words that only you have. It must be all that poetry. I think that we should totally try it."
"I'd be so honoured to write a song with you," Joe leaned over and kissed her while she was playing. "But I don't want... I don't want people to know that it's me."
"That's okay - I've used fake names before. No one would know. Besides, it might end up being something that we decide to keep to ourselves, anyway."
"I know you," Joe smiled as Benjamin tried to walk across the keys, "And I know me. It's going to be a masterpiece... if I do say so myself."
Taylor laughed. "Let me have a look at my long list of beautiful words that I've got saved in my phone." She scrolled for a while - her list had gotten so long over the last couple of months, mostly because she had been doing so much reading. There was one word that stuck out to her, one word that sparked a whole line within itself, one that sounded perfect against Joe's piano.
"Exile," Taylor whispered. "Exile."