Philippines POV:
I was sitting in the middle of an ended class, my finger tapping on the side of my desk as if it's a habit of waiting, why am I still here? America left with Slovenia and Japan has to be in a hurry but at least I thanked him.
The room is quiet assuming that I was the only one left but of course, I was wrong "Why are you still here?" A voice next to me spoke flatly but not rudely, I shift to him knowing already who it is Because the nervous feeling of mine spike high but not enough to make me stutter.
"Hey, Singapore." I greeted him, a tiny bit surprised that he talked to me first, He stared at me Until his head turns around to check the Classroom if I'm really alone "Are you waiting for someone?" I shook my head thinking about America, my heart is ranching again "Nah, I'm just Vibing here." I Lied partially, my head tilted towards his direction.
"What about you? why are you still here?" I asked him next "I was helping the teacher to assists her with bringing the Equipment to her office." He spoke smoothly, I cracked a smile "You trying to get that extra credit, huh?" Singapore only chuckled a little as he looks at the teacher's desk "Obviously." he uttered.
Singapore might be a stern person but it doesn't mean he's not the type a person who just downgrades anyone for no reason and not be a little playful, I'm still nervous around him because it's been a long time since we talked.
I stood up from my seat "Wanna walk with me?" "I live at a different building than you." "I figured, just at the gate and we can just split ways?" I never like asking for people to join me for a walk because I don't desire to be a bother to them but I truly want to catch up with Singapore.
"Than sure." He gestures towards the door, I tinge a smile as we went out but not forgetting to lock the doors with the keys Singapore have, The halls are still riddled with students who are talking or just enjoying their small-time "By the way, how are you? It's been a long time since we talked." I questioned him curiously, "Nothing much, Just helping Asean with diversity problems." He replied simply.
"Is it because of the new law?" He scoffed nodding a little "The red rankers are mostly accepting towards this law but the Blue rankers...not so much." The Singaporean sighs, gripping the strap of his gray satchel tightly.
"Is it wrong if I say I kinda don't like this law?" Singapore hesitantly looked at me, his stern and intimidating aura disappeared in a poof.
I thought about it for a moment, Singapore really is a person who is stern when it comes to positions and stuff like this, If I were the same person back then I would've hated this law because what's the point of being a blue ranker when everything you do will be wasted when everyone turns into equals?
"You know I'm a green ranker, right?" Singapore was visibly surprised and guilty not expecting that answer from me, I mean, I will be astounded if I'm him I used to be so adamant when it comes to rankings, I was obsessed with wanting to be a Blue ranker back than to the point I brag about it.
But now I cringe when I thought of it, I was selfish about what I have and I'm fixing myself to being more accepting towards people and myself, just like Dmitri said to me back then.
"there's nothing wrong with wanting to be different...the only problem was, is how to be different without changing yourself to the point you don't recognize who you are?"
I should've known that back then but I didn't, I think I deserve what happened to me in the past because if it didn't occur to me...I would've been the same selfish person now "I mean...you understand what I'm saying right?" I nodded towards Singapore's uncertain words.
"Yeah, I understand completely, you worked hard to get here but that position instantly means nothing when it comes to this law." I flowed out as if I had it in my head for a long time "Do you still want to be a blue ranker?" that Questions saddened me slightly something that stabbed my chest with guilt, I would've been ecstatic if someone asked me that question and go on and on about how great it is to be part of that status but now...it just felt tedious to me, not the rank but just knowing how I used to be obsessed towards that goal.
"Nah." I only expressed, because that's the only thing I felt towards it now, it's just a rank and even if the equality rule isn't subjected here...I wouldn't care less "Don't you want to be part of the rank?" he pointedly gestures at me as he stops walking making me have a few steps in front of him.
I...really don't blame Singapore to assume like this, I turn back to him with a mellow smile.
"Your right, I want to be part of it but...I guess people change." I answered shortly but Singapore's face contorted a little in disappointment.
"you always dreamed about it, when we're still together in the lower rank...you always gush about it, always make plans for the bigger future and yet..." His words stammered as his movements and gestures.
"You left when you almost got to that point..." I only gaze at him mutely, I don't know what expression I'm wearing right now but the surprising emotion Singapore showed made me realize that I accepted the fact I failed that dream, "I don't want to be obsessed about the future and not see the small blessings I already have on my daily life." Even if I finally graduated from this green rank and get to be a blue ranker like I always want it to be, I will not blind myself about the future and not be thankful for what I have now.
Because It hurts knowing that you're in the far eventuality finally getting what you want yet...inevitably feel empty...
"I heard that you greeted Timor." Singapore was startled slightly that I change the subject "Of course, he's my partner after all." He cleared his throat trying to get back on his stern-looking side "But it doesn't mean I'll accept him...-" "yet." I cut him off making him groan a little knowing where this is going.
"Philip, you know I don't like people who don't work hard." I only chuckled at him as we started to walk again "I'm not hardworking." "Well, you used to and that made me respect you." I only shrugged, remembering Singapore not liking me much back then when we first joined the Administration.
"Than Timor deserves your respect." he was about to argue but I beat him to it "I know Timor, more than anyone in this administration next to Indo." I turn to him, concluded to make Singapore think at least a little differently "He is trying his best about wanting to be accepted, he works hard, his optimistic and determined... he might be a green first ranker but his hard work should not be ignored...He's a good kid Singa." My tone became soft not realizing that my pitch feels pleading a little.
Singapore opens his mouth slightly to say something but he closed it a little, not knowing how to respond to that. and eventually, he only sighs deeply, his hand sliding onto his hair in frustration yet in deep thought.
"Why do you always have to defend him from me?" I pursed my lips "Because we used to be like him, still striving for glory and stuff like that." Because it's true, we should not look down on people just because we're in higher standing.
I'm not a blue ranker but the system deems me more superior to him and...I found that shitty
"I know you know what it's like to be in his footsteps Singapore." Singapore only gazes at me until he sighs with a defeated smile "This is the reason why I don't like arguing with you." I grinned at him "Sorry not sorry." we stop when we're finally at our destination.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Singa." I bid him farewell as he returns the favor "You too Philip." and so we went our separate ways.
My gaze wanders around the sidewalk, seeing the small tiny rubbles on the ground and the patches of green grass.
The leaves from trees shield me away from the warm light above my hair, some leaves started to fall slowly by the wind.
Until I saw the Empty park, which it deems as my safe place now, but I halted my tracks when I saw a faint tall person sitting on the small walls dividing the river and land.
I squinted my eyes curious reminding myself this is a public park so I should not be like Shrek as if someone just waltzes into my swamp, I can't believe I just thought of this example.
I took a step closer finally seeing the man's clear face, I finally know who it is and not because of the face, it's because of that infamous ushanka.
Why is Russia here? I thought I would be extremely nervous by the sight of him and yet, strangely enough, it's only in the minimal low...
I even have the urge to see what he's up to, my lip tightened as if ready for something.
Look, you un-socializing Asian ass! use your past knowledge about the arts of speaking and not sounding like you're a dying idiot.
Do I sound like an idiot? wait, no- stop thinking, focus.
"What are you doing?"
I instantly turn into a deer in headlights, he was staring at me confusingly, wait- how close did I just walk towards him? my eyes slowly started to see that I'm next to the swing set just ten feet away from him.
Well fuck, I'm screwed.
"I uh..."
I wavered desperately grabbing my voice back to speak something that doesn't involve ducks like last time.
"I was surprised that someone was in this desolate place." bravo Philip, it sounds like you don't want him here "W-which it isn't bad! so..." I tried to save myself from this poor choice of words I call my already vocal dictionary.
"It's just...nice to see someone come here from time to time..." I scratched to redemption, I only stood there as if waiting for his reply which I shouldn't hope for when the silence keeps shooting down my composure to be the least comfortable around him.
Maybe I should leave- "Do you want to...join me?" the unsureness in the Russian's voice made me felt like...I'm not the only one who is smelling the awkward atmosphere and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing...
Nevertheless, I was amazed that he offered me a hand to completely look at him differently like last time.
I nodded my head, a huge grin on my face that I'm trying too hard to hide, I just can't help but be overjoyed that he's even willing to let me stay here.
The Russian patted the small stone surface next to him, his expression blank but I can still see the relaxing yet uncertain movements in his eyes and hand if I look hard enough.
I sat down where he patted but still giving an amount of space between me and him.
I know what the boundary between best friends and people who are still strangers to each other are, Russia isn't a stranger by any means, I just think he's the type of person who wants to have his space, kinda like me sometimes...
"Do you come here often?" I asked The tall man who was looking down on the river that is beneath the wall we are sitting on, he only nodded his head gently not saying any words "So this is where you hang out too, huh?" I smiled at my own words, my legs moving up to the stoned surface like the rest of my body are, facing the sparkling somewhat clean river, patches of grasses, and some rocks while my legs cross beneath me.
"This place isn't even a wreck yet they're not a single person who has standards, well. except for you though."
I thought my joke will be met by silence and it did but I caught a small twitch in the Russian's mouth to a small smile if I look carefully enough but I looked away quickly not wanting to make Russia uncomfortable...
My eyes landed on the Horizon, the park is located where buildings are seen surrounding the river, but the trees or nature are hiding the civilization part here, in other words, it's just really pretty and so refreshing to just witness the parts that felt so natural.
The sun isn't even going down and yet the temperature felt cold like nighttime is nearing making me remember Dmitri.
I wonder what he's up to...I hope he's having a good day at least...
The Silence between me and Russia felt too comfortable that it shocked me a little too much, the serene feeling of just sharing the moment is just what I'm feeling right now that made me regret being swayed a little by does thoughtless rumors that buried what Russia is.
Now it made me question why people didn't take the time to just talk to him.
I mean, Russia isn't a talkative person from my perspective, and yet, it just feels so natural around him. if I just get to know him more then maybe we can be good roommates or even friends if he wants to.
"I didn't get to say this but thanks for having the time to cook for me, I like the taste by the way." I thanked him, remembering the last day that made me smile a little...
It was quiet for a short while but he answered "I just...really like how you cook pancakes..." His words are hesitant yet sweet and sincere.
Damn, if words can melt my heart easily then my life expectancy card is instantly expired.
"Than I guess we both have a talent when it comes to cooking." I unintentional...okay, maybe I intentionally complimented him.
The silence came back again and I started to contemplate if that's a bad move to do "Yeah, I guess so." He expressed monotonously but his mouth is slightly tilted upward as if it's a small smile, I stare at him sneakily as the breezed just lifted up my spirit giving me a huge grin on my face getting used to the halted and hesitant quiet voice he always gave me but nonetheless, it's admirable for me now...almost a small quirk that the Russian has.
I look back at the sky Blue horizon feeling the confidence finally settling in on me to finally consider to be Completely and undeniably Comfortable around him.
So we both sat there enjoying the silence we have till I say my goodbye to him to go back to our dorm first.
-
-
Narrator POV:
"So Phil, any Ideas?" The American asked next to him, looking through there old biography,
Philip clicked his tongue out of habit thinking for an answer "Do you think we should PowerPoint this or just do the traditional Big paper with words in it?" He turns to America trying to block out his attraction towards the foreign Country.
The American put his fingers on his chin, Deciding the impossible "Dad is old school so..." America smirked "Let's do PowerPoint." Philip laughed a little shaking his head on the process "That is not the answer I expected, I thought you're going to, like, choose the traditional style." He shrugged "You know better than anyone that I have a spar with the old man." Philip can't believe he felt a tiny bit of pride knowing America's daddy issue's so well, he is seriously questioning his sanity.
"I know that I just thought that maybe...you guys patch it up someway when I was gone?" he chose his words carefully knowing it's a sensitive subject that he regrets even bringing up, The American stared at the ceiling for a minute in deep thought but eventually, he looked back at the small male with a grin "As if." he scoffed but the snarky country doesn't really sound snarky, instead, his tone sounded tight.
But Philip ignored it, knowing too well America never likes talking about emotional stuff "sOo PowerPoint it is?" Philip tried lighting up the atmosphere which America caught on "Noice." His grin came back.
As he sat forward getting the laptop to his lap he types a couple of words "But you must admit that the paper and pen are easier than a PowerPoint, you have to edit that shit." Philip pointed out as he took out his phone for research "Not if you're a pro gamer like I am." He boasted at the Filipino.
Philip put down his phone on the glass table in front of him processing how Gen Z that is, which to be fair, they are kinda like Gen Z even though they are literal countries who are just born in this era because of reincarnation and shit.
"You really have big Gen Z energy." Philip elbowed him for it with a goofy smile "Better than being a raunchy old boomer that's for sure." He huffed clearly joking around with the Pinoy but when things go well, the Family subject was bought up "Do you think we should use our family photos? to show our family linage?" America asked with no intention to hurt anyone and yet, Philip abruptly stopped typing onto his phone like an alarm triggering over his head.
He can't blame America though, even back then he never talks about his family history because it was too much of a sensitive subject in his heart and mind, he guesses America thought that Philip didn't mind it but even now he can't even utter a single word about family to anyone, well. except for Dmitri of course.
He just persuades himself that he doesn't want to bombard his troubles to anyone, he's okay with this, he moved on and that's enough to close that chapter of his life and yet he flinches when a Family-related topic comes up...and he hates it.
"Do you think it's a good idea?" He turned to the American with an uncertain tone he held that even he wishes he never shows "I mean, my real parents died because people really want to take me and use me as a power vessel when I was a baby." Philip gawked at the American on how casual he spoke about his biological parent's death "You sound...kinda normal about it." America scratched the back of his head with an awkward smile "Sorry if I sound QUITE offensive, I was a baby back then so I never personally know my real parents when the old man took me in to foster."
America laid his head back down on the headrest of the sofa, facing the wall with a somber look "Why would I grieve to people I never knew in life?" He faced the Filipino his head still leaning on the headrest of the sofa "Sorry if I sounded ungrateful." Philip shook his head on the apology "Nah, you have a right to think like that." Philip almost felt envious towards America, wait- what envy? I mean, he understands if it's the Admiration kind of envy but this? he just...doesn't get it.
"Thanks for understanding, wanna continue what we're doing?" Philip nodded his head in agreement trying to lift up his spirit and focus on what they need to do today "Sure, I really don't want to procrastinate all day without doing anything." America smiled warmly at the Pinoy, and to say at least, It didn't do his heart very good at all.
After four hours of planning and joking around, Philip finally decides to go home even though he wants to talk to the Foreign country more but he rejected himself reminding that this guy has a girlfriend for Pete's sake.
They gave their farewells and a few quips here and there till Philip finally walks to the Elevator door to his Dorm.
He was standing in the middle of the Moving metal box inside hearing the sounds that is similar to mellow music just coming out from the small speaker on top of the ceiling, he was quiet while thoughts are surging, he tried his hardest to close it off...to just Ignore it but each word that pops up becomes louder.
He never notices how tired he is when he left America's dorm, he wonders who is America's dormmate is because he never saw him even once...He gave a deep sigh, rubbing his eyes tirelessly.
His hand snuck onto his pocket to get something, at least candy to let him stay energized.
He took it out but a crumpled paper falls on the floor in the process.
'Loser'
He stared, thinking who has the time to do things like this? if it's directed towards Philip in malice or as some sort of Joke, or at least some kind of misunderstanding that Philip hoped it for but he can't wish like that.
He bends down to pick it up reluctantly knowing it's no use to think about it, maybe it's just a misunderstanding and he is just wasting his time away to think useless things...
He buried it in his pocket while the Elevator door open ups.
He stepped out onto the lighted corridor knowing in mind that is nearly nighttime or already nighttime in general, he doesn't know honestly there isn't even a single-window here but only doors, his eyes feel heavy but he's starving as well.
Maybe he should sleep off the hunger, he's too lazy to cook anyway...
He opened his door while closing it behind him when he came inside, taking off his shoes and placing them on the ground beside the door because he sure the hell ain't gonna walk around with his dirty shoe on, Filipinos will literally kill you if you do that.
As he expected, an empty living room maybe Russia is sleeping in their Dorm room or maybe he is still at the park which is weird considering that fact it's been 4 hours now.
He put his satchel on the sofa checking the kitchen if there is anything he could cook easily even though he really wants to sleep.
But he was taken off guard to see a plate of food just sitting on the table with a note underneath the plate, he scurries over it hesitant to touch it thinking it's for Russia but when he took the note out beneath the plate, his heart just literally exploded.
'For you'
-Russia
His mouth stretches into a goofy grin taking a mental note to cook something tomorrow for Russia and him, I guess they really are starting to acknowledge each other pleasantly even if it's this way and Philip is okay with that.
After enjoying the meal that he gratefully ate he checked their room to see...no one, maybe Russia left outside for a moment which is disappointing, he really wants to thank him personally, he went inside the dim lit room seeing the Outside window confirming his suspicions that is late outside.
He turns to his personal closet taking off his uniform and wearing a pink sweater that says 'Spill the Tea sis.' and some grey sweat pants that are extremely comfortable. He looked at the Mirror seeing his hair disheveled and his face worn out makes him more persuaded to just sleep dead cold.
He laid onto his bed facing the white ceiling, spread out in bed just tired and bored...
Until his phone rang in notifications, he turned his face to the right where his phone is. Opening the phone still recoiling slightly at how bright it is, he squints his eyes on the messages.
Rice Gang CHAT:
bootleg USA: yO Indo, u absent today? we haven't seen you in school.
Kool-aid man typing...
Kool-aid man typing...
kool-aid man typing: I'm not absent today you bimbo.
bootleg USA: don't call me a bimbo.
Kool-aid man: shut it bimbo.
mom: okay but for serious we didn't see you today bro.
Kool-aid man: I was just called in to hang out with the blue rankers.
bootleg USA typing...
bootleg USA typing...
bootleg USA: so you left us with a bunch of snobs?
Kool-aid man: allah malay don't call them snobs.
Kool-aid man: they are good people.
bootleg USA: don't you know what happened to us back then because of those assholes?
Kool-aid man: don't you dare bring that up.
bootleg USA: See! even you don't want to bring that up and yet you hang out with them!
Kool-aid man typing...
Kool-aid man typing...
Kool-aid man: Does it really matter anymore? I'm just talking to them! they're not bad people mal.
bootleg USA: THEY. HURTED. US. INDO.
mom: Both of you clam down, please.
Kool-aid man typing...
bootleg USA typing...
bootleg USA: ...
Kool-aid man: ...
Both of them didn't respond for 3 mins which made Philip closed his phone as he puffed out a long breath, but he was in a state of shock...Philip has his fair shares when his friends fought with each other, hell! even he fought with them too but they always apologize to one another, maybe this won't be different if they try to have a conversation tomorrow and come to an understanding.
Philip's eyes became heavy and for a moment...
He drifted to darkness.
Hoping to hang out with Dmitri...
-
-
-
-
Author's note:
Yo, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, the plot is kinda starting this point on cus why not?
this is literally 4265 words holy crap for me it's long which I should do more often.
oh and People gave me fanart which I really love.
here it is:
Thank you acemature25! your drawing just gave me pure nostalgia! his hair looks hella slick man.
Itsyocomrade, Happy birthday btw! and thank you for giving me this I really love the lineart.
skye_isme thank you fam! I love the design you gave Philip, especially his mask that is covering the sun pattern in his face! good detail!
@DethJ2X bro, this is some good ass Christmas present! thank you so much for this, I have an urge to make this a cover book but still, it's cool!
Thank you for being so pogchamp guys! I got inspiration on hyper max because of it, thank you so much!.
you guys are literally killing me with love, pay me for my funeral and I'll invite you Uwu.