FRIENDS - BWS

39 | Hurt Hearts Tell No Truth

"Yeah, I know that", he says harshly, making me freeze on my seat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that", he quickly adds, apologetic. It doesn't make me feel any better though and all the guilt I felt during our breakup comes rushing back to me. I'm not proud of hiding my lack of sexual pleasure to him while we were together. Thinking about it now, our relationship was obviously doomed to end at some point. You can't build something on a lie. Communication should always be a top priority in any relationship, with lovers, friends or family. And yet, here I am, on my way to Jay's parents' house without Brad knowing about it. Hypocrite much? I suddenly realize the consequences my actions could have, and despite being mad at Brad, the thought of harming my relationship with him for Jay is making me regret my decision.

"It's okay, I probably deserved it", I answer as I pull my phone out of my jeans' pocket to check if he called. I sigh as I see that yet again my phone is empty of notifications.

"Is everything okay?", Jay asks, quickly looking at me before turning his head back to the road.

"Mmh?", I hum as I turn towards him, still thinking about how to tell Brad about the whole situation. "Oh, yeah, everything's fine", I add before placing my phone back in my pocket. The rest of the ride is silent and before I know it we're parking in the driveway in front of his parents' house. I reach out for the door handle but before I can leave the car, Jay calls my name, making me turn around to face him.

"I'll tell them, okay?", he says quietly, looking like a scared kid. "I want them to hear from my mouth how much of a disappointment I am."

The look on his face is breaking my heart. He's truly scared of his family and what they might think of him. But what pains me the most is the fact that he thinks no being engaged or married or even in a relationship is making him a failure compared to his brother. How fucked up is that? What kind or parents teach their kids such stereotypes from the 30s? I place my hand on top of his and squeeze it, trying to make him feel better about what's about to happen inside.

"You're not a disappointment, Jay", I say as I look straight into his eyes. "Just because we're not together anymore doesn't make you inferior to your stupid brother. Trust me, you're worth much more than him", I continue while he stares at me, squishing my hand in his. He stays silent as he looks at me and before I can apprehend what's happening, his face moves forward and his lips are on mine.

What the fuck?

I immediately back away until my back hits the car door, my heart racing in my chest. What the hell just happened? 

"Why would you do that?", I say, both shocked and pissed. He knows I'm in a relationship with Brad, what did he think was happening?

"I'm sorry, I thought...", he starts to say before I cut him off.

"You thought what? Fuck Jay, you know we're over", I say, swallowing hard at the realization of what just happened. "This wasn't a good idea", I continue to say, almost to myself. "I should go home"

"Wait, Em", Jay says, grabbing my forearm just as I reach for the door handle again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Look, I promise it won't happen again, just please don't leave", he says, looking at me with begging eyes. "I need you tonight", he adds and I know I can't just leave him like that. Why did I put myself in this situation? I should be home right now, with my boyfriend and not in a car with my ex-boyfriend, about to spend the evening with his family. But it's too late for regrets, I'm already there. The only thing I can do now is to help Jay tell his parents as quickly as possible and end the torture.

"You've got one hour to tell them", I say after a quick silence, hoping to make him understand I'm not going to play his fiancée for longer than that. A faint smile appears on his lips as he thanks me and we make our way to the door where Meredith, Jay's mom, greets us with open arms. I'm still wondering why the sudden change of attitude towards me because she was a real bitch to me the entire time I was actually in a relationship with Jay. Did the 'engagement' make her change her mind about me? I wouldn't be surprised considering the ridiculous way of thinking of Jay's family. Patrick, Jay's dad, quickly appears behind his wife and greets us as well, and we all move to the living room where Luke and his wife Esmee seem to be in the middle of an argument. As soon as we arrive in the room, they stop their whispers and turn to us. I instantly get that awkward feeling I always have when in presence of Luke. I've only met him in rare occasions, Jay not being fond of spending much time with his brother for obvious reasons, but every time I've been in a room with him, I've just had that uneasy feeling. Maybe it's the way he has to look at girls, like he's undressing them with his eyes or the inappropriate comments that leave his mouth way too often in my opinion. I truly wonder how he got Esmee to agree to date him in the first place and worse, to marry him. Something's telling me he isn't the type of guy to be faithful.