A Heart on Fire // TonyStarksDaughter

19. Social Skills

When the flashbacks involved something about Stark, I went to Wanda. She told me that most of those were normal childhood memories, whatever normal is anyway.

The memories about Stark were never images, just voices. 

The only memories that came with images were the ones I would rather forget. The really horrid memories about being tortured that I had repressed, often came about when I was trying to sleep. 

I didn't tell anyone about those. I kept it to myself and usually stayed up through the night to avoid them.

There was always something good on Netflix to watch. But if I wasn't in the mood, I would either go punch things, or go build things.

I had no clue how long I'd be staying here though, so I built tiny things.

I made improvements on my little communications hacking device, and I also made a car engine from scratch.

It was modeled after the off road jeeps that were on the Hydra facility. I was building it based off memory, which I know sounds risky, but that's all I had for this model. I had only seen it a few times, but it was incredible. 

Surprisingly, it's been coming along really well and I'm almost done. I just want to add my own modifications to it now.

In other news, movers were working day in and day out to get things into the facility. They worked extremely fast, and the rooms looked different everyday. They built labs and medical facilities and installed lots of new tech and put in new furniture.

But despite all these other distractions, Pietro was always on my mind. I missed him.

I kept thinking that if only he were here, I'd know exactly what I need to do. But I know that's not true.

I just wouldn't be as broken.

*     *     *

I let the events of the past month roll around in my head as I lay in my room.

And no, I don't have special privilege. Everyone has their own rooms.

I feel like I've changed upon finding out what my last name is, which is strange because technically I've always been related to Stark. I guess now I just view it in a different lighting.

I peered over at the little clock that sat on my nightstand. 1:50 am.

I sat up and sighed. Looks like I'm not getting good sleep tonight either.

I turned on the t.v. and let the movie 'Scream' play to help me pass the time.

Personally, I'm not fazed by horror movies. Maybe it's because I've lived through worse? Nevertheless, I find them entertaining. But not tonight. I was too distracted.

Stark had sent a cell phone to the facility for me, which I thought was pretty nice. He had called me twice on it, but I had let it go to voicemail each time.

I listened to both voicemails though. The first one was just him saying hi and asking if I was alright. Which is kind of a stupid question.

The second one was him telling me that he was going to come to the facility tomorrow, to say goodbye to Thor who was leaving Earth, but that he didn't have to be anywhere near me if that's what I wanted.

I hadn't replied to either message.

Thor had told me about his plans to leave earlier and I am sad about it.

I will miss that man dearly. He introduced me to Pop-tarts. And I will miss watching him smash cups onto the ground whenever he wants another drink.

In fact, I had grown quite close with everyone here, not just Wanda anymore.

Yay social skills.

But that raises another issue, I don't want to leave any of them now. I've gotten used to their presence and this facility.

Which is kind of ironic, considering I was raised in an Hydra facility, and then I was moved to the Avengers facility.

Yet, I understand why people move on to new things. Life forces change and nothing can stay the same forever, especially after events like Ultron.

We can't move backwards, only forwards.

And for me, that means I need to stop pretending like my past never happened. For me, moving forwards means I need to be able to accept who I was, and who I have become.

I need to learn to throw myself back into the world.

I grab my remote and turn off the t.v.

I then grab my phone off the nightstand.

The lock screen clock reads 2:44 am. Time flies when you're lost in thought I guess.

I haven't really used this phone for anything, so it's not personalized whatsoever, except for the fact I have all the Avengers contacts.

I click on Stark's contact and my finger hovers above the call button.

I feel like if I say I'll go with him, then I'm leaving everything else behind. Specifically Wanda, and Pietro, and the little family that we had turned ourselves into. I felt as if we were being torn apart.

Pietro is gone. Wanda is training to be an Avenger, and I'm going to go live in the ivory tower.

I let out a sigh before letting a smile creep onto my lips.

'Nothing can tear us apart. Not even death. I may not be blood, but they are my siblings, and I will forever love them.'

I press call.

I place the phone up to my ear and two rings later he picks up.

"Hello?"

His voice sounds tired, but not like I had woken him up. More like his sleeping schedule was just as messed up as mine.

His voice still gives me that feeling in the pit of my stomach, like there is more that I know, I just don't know it yet.

I feel myself get really emotional and frustrated by the fact that I don't even remember the relationship I had with my own father.

Overwhelmed by emotions and unable to speak, I just let myself breathe into the phone, so he knows I'm there.

Surprisingly, he doesn't get mad, and doesn't hang up. He just sits there breathing into the phone as well.

We stay like that, for what is probably around 5 minutes before he speaks up.

"I'm not going to rush you into anything, ok? Just know that I'm thinking about you, all the time and-"

"I'll go with you." I say cutting him off.

I had to. I knew if he went on a ramble I would never be able to get it in.

I hear him sigh and breath heavily on the other side of the phone. I really wish I could read his emotions right now because I feel very confused. I can't tell whether he's relieved or upset.

"Are you sure?" He finally says.

"Yes. Tomorrow after Thor leaves." I say almost in a whisper.

"Ok. That's great." He says back, also whispering. "I'll see you tomorrow then, alright?"

"Yup. Goodbye."

"Bye-" He responds before I quickly hang up.

I run my hands through my hair as I stand up and turn the lights on. I grab the computer that Tony had also sent me and turn on a rock playlist.

'Paranoid' by Black Sabbath begins to play and I bob my head to the music, deciding I like this song.

"Well, time to start packing." 

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