Why Me? (TodoBaku)

Chapter Twenty-Three

He walks in and sits on the opposite side of Shoto, so they're looking at each other. Then I sit next to Shoto. "Hi Kirishima," Shoto says. "Hi," Kirishima replies. "Okay um I have a lot to tell you. But we're going to start with my home life," I say. Kirishima nods and says, "I won't judge you for anything that you tell me, okay? If you were scared that I was going to, then I'm sorry that I made it seem like I was. It's not very manly." I shake my head. "No, I was just scared of everything. It's not your fault. You're really manly," I say.

He nods. I continue. "Okay so there's no easy way to put this. My mom is abusive and my dad left us because I came out as gay," I say. He hugs me suddenly and I hug back. "There's more and it's a lot worse than this," I say softly as me and Kirishima hug. He pulls away and I grab Shoto's hand. "Okay. So um in the summer. When I got taken by the League of Villains, they tortured me. They did... a lot of things to me." I look away as I say this. This is too embarrassing for me. I hate this! I take a deep breath and say, "They um- Shigaraki, did things to me. He raped me." I try my hardest not to cry and I feel Shoto squeeze my hand.

I hear a sob from Kirishima. I look up quickly and he has his head in his hands. "While we were doing nothing. You were with him and he was doing those things to you!? How could we have not tried harder!? I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm so weak and I couldn't save you from him. I'm sorry Bakugo-" I interrupted him with a hug. I had started crying too. "It's not your fault. I wasn't strong enough to fight them off. I didn't have enough strength," I say as I pulled away. "Okay. So they drugged me, tortured me with knives, and none of the pros know about the things Shigaraki did to me. Me and Shoto are going to tell them before the end of this year."

"Okay, um please tell me there's nothing else," he says sadly. I shake my head. "Um there is one more thing. It's kind of um a lot too," I say. I grab Shoto's hand again and then I motion for him to tell Kirishima. I've had enough already. Shoto nods at me and looks at Kirishima. "Katsuki has been self-harming. For years," Shoto says sadly. I can't bring myself to look at Kirishima. He probably thinks I'm a freak. The other two things weren't really something I did to myself. But this. I take a harmful object and hurt myself with it. "Bakugo," I hear Kirishima sob. "I- is that true?" His voice sounds so broken. I nod. I don't know if he saw it, but he sobs harder so I'm guessing he did. It hurts me to hear him cry.

I wipe away my tears and then remember about my under eye make-up. Just great. Another thing he finds out. I look at Shoto and he looks at me sadly. "Bakugo. I will help you! No matter what. I will never let anything like that happen again and I will help you stop self-harming. That's a promise. You got that?" He says as he cries. I look up at him, shocked. "What?" He looks at me confused because of my question. "What do you mean 'what'. I'm going to be here for you. Wait are you wearing make-up? Why? Wait, you have bags under your eyes. Are you not sleeping?" I look down at my hand quickly. "Thank you Kirishima. You're really a great friend. I'm sorry for throwing all of this on you. I just thought you deserved to know because, you've always been there. You're a great person and you've seemed so down because I won't talk to you. I've just been building up the courage to," I say avoiding the last questions.

"Thank you for telling me Bakugo, I know it must've been one of the hardest things you've ever done. You're strong and anyone can see that, but you didn't answer my other questions," Kirishima says. I still don't look at him. "No. I don't really get sleep. Well, I've been getting sleep recently since we've moved into the dorms, but at my house, I never really got to really sleep comfortably. Also, yeah, I do wear make-up to cover up the bags," I say. I squeeze Shoto's hand again. "I also ran out of class today because I was going to have a breakdown and I did. I wasn't sick," I say. "Hey can you look at me. I'm not judging you. You're so manly dude. Just telling me and Shoto was a strong thing to do. I'm proud of you man," Kirishima says.