Taming the major

The Man With Compassion

"What happened when you turned?" Izzy asked.

He turned his eyes towards an other painting, it was landscape with fading colours but Izzy could still make out the form of a meadow, empty and barren with only a cliff in place.

"When I found out what had happened to me—I tried to end myself, something I soon found out, was not an easy task."

"How?" Izzy blurted out before she could stop herself. Luckily for her, Carlisle didn't seem to mind.

"I jumped off great heights in attempts to destroy myself." Carlisle's voice was impassive, similar to Esmes when she had told Izzy about her own past. "I tried drowning myself in the Thames and later the ocean."

"He was very strong since he was a newborn." Jasper added, his own knowledge of the newborns compelling him. " it's almost a marvel, how he was able to resist himself from...feeding,at that time, that too without guidance, our thirst is stronger in the initial years of the change."

"How is that even possible?" Her voice taking a fainter note.

"I was so repulsed by what I'd become that it gave me the will necessary to go as far as to kill myself by starvation. Not that, it's possible anyways.

"I grew very hungry and thus, with time, very weak. I kept away from civilisation when I realised that with the growing hunger my will power was depleting. For months, I wandered, seeking solitude to dwell in self loathing." He smiled at her in reassurance, patting Izzy's head in fatherly gesture that caught her off guard. He had sensed her sadness at his own even without Jaspers gift.

"One night a herd of deer were unfortunate enough to cross my path, by this time I was so blinded by my thirst that I attacked without a second thought. My strength returned and I found out that there was an alternative to this vile form of existence. Had I not eaten such meat in my human life? That night saved me in a way.

"I could exist without being a demon. In a way I found myself again. It was then that I began using my time for the better. You see- I had always been eager to learn. I studied by night, so much so that I swam to France and—"

"I'm sorry but you swam to France." Izzy stared at him open mouthed.

Behind her Jasper chuckled, wrapping an arm around her.

"People swim across the Channel all the time darlin" Jasper shared an amused smile with Carlisle. "Plus it's easy for us to—"

"Everything is easy for you." Izzy was quick to remind him, a slight pout appearing.

"Because we don't need to breathe at all." He went on as if he wasn't interrupted.

"You can't breathe." Izzy stood stunned for the umpteenth time. "Like at all?"

"Yes I suppose." Jasper mused. "It does get a bit uncomfortable, loosing your sense of smell."

"I would assume." Izzy cocked an eyebrow in clear cut mockery before turning to Carlisle, who was watching the exchange with a fond smile. "I'm sorry for the interruptions, please continue. I'll try not to butt in."

"I swam to France and continued throughout Europe to the learning institutes there. By night I studied music, literature, science and medicine—I found my calling in the process, saving human lives." He told Izzy with serenity that she herself longed for.

Jasper continued for Carlisle, his expression somewhat in awe  it was a look that she'd seldom seen Jasper wear. "It took Carlisle almost two centuries to perfect his self control. At this point he is all but immune to the scent of human blood."