My Heart To Keep

Nothing But Love

"I'd never hurt you."

Her eyes filled with tears.

"I know that. I wasn't afraid of you hurting me. I was afraid I was going to hurt you. I ended up doing that anyway, but it was all a mistake. Please forgive me, Levi. Being the wonderful man and friend and father that you are terrified me. Sometimes, sometimes I think I don't deserve to be happy or even normal. Not after all the mistakes I made with Van and Paloma and Eli. Knowing that you cared enough to come after me, to stop me from going to Austin, and knowing that you wrecked because you were speeding to get to me when I shouldn't have left in the first place...it broke my heart. It broke my heart but it woke me up. And I prayed and I begged God that if you could just open your eyes and be okay that I would make it right. Levi, I promise you that I'm not here because of guilt or pity. I am here because I want to be with you."

Levi's eyes strained as they looked around the room. He tried to move and winced. Every part of his body hurt in ways he didn't think possible. He knew he was not in good shape. He knew the accident was bad. He also knew the recovery would be torturous.

"Aida...this is gonna be hard. I, I have to get better."

"I know, baby. And I'll be there. For you and with you."

He licked his lips. Fear paralyzed him.

"How do I know?" he whispered.

Tears welled in his eyes too, and it had nothing to do with the searing physical agony. His heart was in turmoil. He was in love with this woman, always had been. She had hurt him deeply, but now she was back. He had to know, he needed to know if she was going to be there, really be there for him. He couldn't take her running away again.

"Because I love you." She looked right in his eyes. "I love you, Levi."

Stray tears slid down his bruised cheeks.

"I've waited half my life to hear you say that," he admitted.

"Oh sweetie." She tenderly touched the side of his face. "It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay. I just know, I have this feeling that everything that is supposed to happen will happen. You are going to get better and stronger, and you will get up out of this bed and ride again and tattoo again. And you're gonna live a long and happy life and walk Violet down the aisle at her wedding and have all the wonderful things in life you deserve. I promise you."

He managed a smile.

"Will you stay here with me?" he asked.

She nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere. And nothing will keep me from here, not even Hurricane JoAnn," she cracked a joke.

Levi tried to laugh but it hurt too badly.

"You must really love me to weather that storm," he bantered right back.

"I do. I do love you, Levi, and I hate that it took this, that it took tragedy to make me see it."

"It's okay." He licked his lips.

"It's not okay. You never should have been on that road. And you never would have been on that road if it hadn't been for me. I will never forgive myself. If you had died..."

"Shhh. I didn't die, babe. I am right here. I'm with you. And it is not your fault. I, I wasn't careful. I...I was going way too fast. It was stupid. I knew the risks and I took them anyway, knowing I could hurt myself, or worse, someone else. You weren't driving that bike. I was. You didn't make me do anything."

Aida regained her composure. She looked at him, so brave and beautiful. He winced, and she was immediately overcome with emotion again because of his fragile state and because of the fullness of her fragile heart.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to get a nurse? Do you need more meds?"

"I, I'm okay. Just...can you hold my hand?"

It was a simple request that meant the world. She looked down at his left hand and covered it with her smaller hand, interlocking the fingers. In that moment, he needed her to do for him what he had already done for her. He needed her to make him feel loved and safe. And that is what she would do. With every breath in her body and every fiber in her being.

"I love you."

He closed his eyes.

"I feel tired, babe..."

"It's okay. Go back to sleep. Get all the rest you need. I will stay here with you, and when you wake up, I'll still be here."

Before she finished her sentence, he had already drifted off. Even when the door opened, it did not wake him up. It was Violet.

"How is he?" She joined Aida.

Aida smiled a real smile.

"He was awake. We talked. It, it's all a good sign, sweetie."

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked.

Aida looked at him.

"I hope so."

Violet pulled up a chair and touched her father's hand, placing hers so that it touched both his and Aida's. She put her head on the bed and closed her eyes. Aida looked at the two of them. She had screwed things up with Van and Paloma, but now she was convinced that this was her second chance, her second family. She had lived selfishly before, but now no more. Her heart and mind were convinced. This was where she needed to be, not Texas, not New York...nowhere but California and wherever Levi and Violet were. All that was missing was her own baby girl. They were now the three most important people in her life. She hadn't been able to save her little brother, but now she had something to live for, to be good for. And she would lay down her life to make sure they all were safe and happy.