Holding My Breath ~ Larry Stylinson

Chapter 13

"Lou, what's wrong?" He asked, his arms folded. "I know when something's not right."

"I'm fine,"

"No you're not. Tell me the truth." he stopped me from lying and I felt my knees weaken. I walked over to him and fell into his arms, his muscular frame supporting all of me.

"I'm so so sorry, Haz. I'm so sorry." I sobbed into him.

"What? What's going on, Louis?" He repeated as I shook my head into him, trying to support myself.

"I did something really bad, Harry. I don't think you'll be able to forgive me." I cried, sudden anger at myself shooting through me. I managed to support my own weight, standing up straight and punching the wall, leaving cracks in the plaster. I squeezed my eyes, trying to contain the tears.

"Hey, shh shh. Stop it. It's okay." He threw his arms around me, holding my own arms to my sides as he held me. "Tell me what happened." he whispered into my hair.

"I can't Harry, it'll ruin us." I shook my head, tears overflowing my eyelids. I pulled away from his grasp and left the bathroom.

"Louis, tell me what's going on, right now." He grabbed my hand and stopped me from leaving my bedroom.

"Harry, I can't.." I started but was cut off by him kissing me. I pulled away quickly. I couldn't bare the thought of him kissing me after what happened with Zayn. I felt my stomach do back-flips and tie knots, the feeling that I was going to vomit swept over me. I rushed back into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet, throwing up.

"What the fuck is happening? Why are you so upset?!" Harry almost shouted as he held my back. I got up feeling better and grabbed my toothbrush, trying to stall him. I held up one finger and tried to brush my teeth for as long as possible. After 3-4 minutes, he slapped the toothbrush out of my hand.

"Stop already!" He said as I rinsed my mouth. "Please, just tell me. I'm getting really worried."

He took my hand again and held it gently. He kissed my fresh, minty lips tenderly and I tried to resist him. I couldn't let him kiss me without him knowing that I had just been kissing Zayn.

"Please, just.." I was lost for words. I knew he had to know, but I didn't want to tell him. "I love you, okay? Only you."

He nodded.

"Ok, so last night when I was at Zayn's..."

Tears started to fall again.

"I got up to leave and... he kissed me."

Harry looked shocked.

"B-but.. I left quickly. But then.. He text me. And I don't know what I was thinking but.."

His face turned worried again as I cried.

"I went back downstairs and...and.."

His own eyes started to well up with tears. "Please tell me you didn't.." he said quietly.

"No, no.. But.. We nearly.." I stuttered. "We were naked."

I felt a weight lifted, but another one crashed down on my shoulders as Harry looked away with tears.

"We didn't do anything. We just kissed..." I shook my head.

"Why? Why did you do it?" He didn't look at me.

"I don't know, I'm so stupid." I cried. "Harry, please forgive me babe." I put my hand on his arm and he quickly pulled it away. He looked up at me and his eyes were full of pain. It broke me.

"I'm so sorry." I shook my head, covering my mouth. He left the room without saying a word and then I felt it. It was real. This was happening. I'd just broken his heart.

*****

Harry hadn't spoken to me for hours since I'd told him. He'd been in his room all day and when I knocked, he wouldn't let me in, he'd blocked the door. I sat on the sofa with a tear stained face, thinking of what I could do to make it right. My answer? Nothing. I just had to hope that Harry was a better person than I was... Maybe he'd forgive me, or maybe he'd go and find someone better who wouldn't hurt him. As I thought, his bedroom door opened. I rose to my feet quickly and walked to the hallway. I saw Harry by the door with a suitcase.

"What are you doing?" I asked hesitantly. I knew the answer.

"I'm going.. I'm going to Liam's." He replied and shut the door behind him.

***OK, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HATE ME;) minor cliff hanger I guess and I know this was way too short and I know my last update was short but HEEEEY IM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL SOON AND NEED TO GET READY. If you've stuck with this story so far I'd like to say thank you so much. ***