WHITE DWARF • THE 100

22

She saw herself. 

Weak. 

Cowardly. 

Bending to the will of those above her. 

She saw how she easily accepted their iron fist rule, how she only complained about it in the darkest hours of the night in hushed whispers, and even then her palms dampened. She saw how she was willing to succumb to their laws. 

Cassie saw someone who was too scared to fight back. 

Letting out a cry, she thrust a fist at Astrid's face. Bones shuddered under the impact. Her fist became a beacon of flames, pain igniting every nerve. Cassie couldn't help it - she screeched at the top of her lungs. She shook out her fist frantically, glaring at Astrid. She remained in place, blood dripping slowly from her nose. 

Even with blood smearing her upper lip, Astrid smirked. "Is that seriously everything you have? That's pathetic." 

The switch went off again. Images flashed before her eyes, all of the memories, the repression, the fear squeezing at her gut everyday. Nothing could hold her back as she sprinted towards Astrid. Cassie didn't even notice Astrid's wide eyes as her body collided into hers, barrelling the pair to the ground. Cassie straddled Astrid's waist easily, her fists hitting Astrid's face in a rhythm she couldn't comprehend. All she knew was that she was beating her and creating an inferno of agony. 

But it was nothing compared to the anger surging within her. 

Astrid didn't even squirm beneath her. Her face was swelling quickly under Cassie's brutal assault. It was becoming difficult to make out Astrid's features. Yet she still kept going, her fists flying in every direction. 

She was so consumed by her rage that she didn't hear the door swing open behind her. 

"Holy shit!" Aidan cursed, running forwards. He slid over the tables, jumping into the middle of the ring. He harshly snatched at Cassie's armpits, pulling her off of Astrid's body. Cassie stumbled. "I leave you two alone for ten minutes and you nearly kill each other?" 

Cassie's gaze darted to the figure on the floor. Now that she wasn't sat over her, a red haze clouding her vision, she could see Astrid clearly. Her face was severely mangled, blood speckling across her face. Bruises had already begun to form in the shape of Cassie's fists. Cassie frantically looked down at her own hands - blood. 

She stumbled out of Aidan's grip, nearly tripping over her feet. She tried to form words, but her brain and mouth wouldn't cooperate. Aidan had clearly assessed Cassie as no longer being a threat, rushing to Astrid's side and helping her sit up. They were having another one of their hushed conversations, the ones that had started this in the first place. 

She didn't even have the energy to be hurt by it. It wasn't that she didn't have that type of relationship with them; she understood they were strangers and that wouldn't happen. But it was the fact that she didn't have that kind of relationship with anyone. Besides her family, she was alone. 

"Astrid." Cassie stuttered, having to try several times to start a sentence. "I - I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so sorry." 

Cassie waited for the screaming. For them to kick her out, to tell her to leave the Pit and never come back. To tell her to abandon her fantasy of fighting and being the reigning champion, taking home the prize and making her dad smile again. 

Astrid smiled. 

Cassie cringed at the sight. Crimson stained her teeth, and the act itself looked like it caused Astrid great agony. Still, she carried on the action, a short laugh choking out of her mouth. "Don't apologise." 

Aidan gaped at Astrid. He opened his mouth to interject when Astrid continued. "Congrats, you finally mastered something." 

"What?" 

Astrid scrambled to get to her feet, brushing off Aidan's offer for help. She reached towards Cassie, ignoring the flinch that flashed over her face, placing a firm hand on Cassie's shoulder. "You can fight with selfless intentions, but you can't win. What you need to do is fight not only for other people, but for yourself too. I saw the way you reacted when I called you pathetic. I wanted you to react like that." 

Astrid let go of Cassie's shoulder, slumping on one of the tables. Cassie remained speechless, staring at Astrid with a slack jaw. Aidan was the one to fill the silence. "Uh, your teaching methods are sure something." 

"Enlighten us Aidan - why did you start fighting?" 

Aidan sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. He paused. It was almost as if he was delaying the truth. "I wanted to fuck the guards over." 

"See - anger. Everyone who fits in the Pit and wins embrace their monsters and let them take control. We just need to work on your technique - a lot, by the way - and you can get in the ring." 

"Hey," Cassie protested, a small tilt of her lips growing on her face. "I'm not that bad." 

"Trust me, you won't ever get the drop on me again. Especially now, newbie." Astrid gave Cassie another gentle smile. It was a shock to see. The woman was all sharp edges and cool glares, it seemed almost impossible that she could be gentle. Cassie slapped herself internally. She was the person who should know the most about judging people prematurely. 

Aidan pointed at Astrid, almost mockingly. "Seems like she got the drop on you pretty good. I'll go grab the med kit." 

On that note, Aidan left the room. Cassie waited a few beats. As much as she knew Astrid wouldn't want her to say it, she couldn't stop herself. "Again, I am really sorry." 

"Don't sweat it." Astrid paused, a playful smirk dancing it's way on her lips. "Besides, I think I can get my revenge the next training session. Agreed?" 

Cassie wasn't sure what surprised her more - the ease that Astrid accepted to have been beaten, or the fact that she was still willing to continue training with Cassie. Secretly, she was glad. As much as she had tried to distance herself, she didn't want.

And maybe she won't be so alone. 

Cassie nodded. 

-

hi.... i know it's been a long time (i updated in june, yikes) but i'm trying to get back into this. please bear with me whilst i try to get into the rhythm of things, it may take a while but i want to get there. thank you for being so patient and sticking by me and cassie, we both appreciate it so much. i hope i can finish the drafts i need soon for this, and then i can bombard you all with the updates you deserve. i'm really sorry it's been so long and i promise i'll make the wait worth it.
lots of love,
thirdwheelchurchill