Meant to be

Stranded

I dragged my heavy feat home from training on this summer evening. It was the Friday of the last week of school, freedom for a few months. This was meant to be freedom but it feels like I'm living in a cell, slave to my ever conflicting emotions. The horrific laughters of children sent shivers down my sweaty back, and the still bright summer sun beat down on me, adding to the infinite weight I felt on my shoulders. The world was so warm and yet I felt so cold, so confused, so..., so..., so fucking lonely. I couldn't lean back on the rock and pillar of my world, and the sunshine and warmth in my life had been replaced by an empty, wicked winter. I'm left alone, and scared.

I don't think I've mentioned this before but I don't have many friends, less so close ones. Really the only two people I talk to are Wonyoung and Yujin. But now, I can't really talk to either. My problems are trapped within myself as I no longer feel comfortable with sharing with with them. Why? Well, things are just so freaking weird with them now. Yujin's being all cute and touchy and not getting my signals whatsoever. Do I really have to scream it in her face so she understands. I don't like her, I think. Ahhhhh! I don't know anymore. She knows I'm at a crucial point in my life and I really don't need further distractions. And yet, she goes ahead and messes with my feelings, making me unable to focus. "I like you." What the heck does she actually want me to say? I need her to lean on and I would think that she needed me too but... that wont work anymore will it. I avoid her at training, talk to her as little as possible and yet everyday she sends me cheesy texts like "You call me Yujin but I'd much prefer you call me baby." Shit like that. I cannot. She's not like this and her actions makes me thinks she's drunk on some love potion. Why did Cupid have to shoot your ass with his stupid arrow.

To add to that, I have to deal with Wonyoung and her freaking soft rosy lips... I mean and her completely mistimed confession. I thought that I didn't have to revisit that wound again but here I am, falling for her all over again. Her gentle breaths against my face, her big beautiful eyes staring straight into mine... I really need to get a hold of myself.

I continue my heavy footsteps, while thoughts endlessly run through my mind. Just then I feel a hand grab on to my shoulder an pull me back a little. I turned around to see a panting Wonyoung, clutching my shoulder as she catches her breath. "Wait one... moment. Let... me catch my... breath." I stay there and look at her struggle for a while more before regaining her normal form. "I just wanted to say that I think you're ignoring me and I really don't like it. Can you please stop acting so cold to me? Don't ignore that day like it never happened." She grabbed my hand with both of hers and looked at me, making adorable expressions that melted even the frozen of hearts.

"I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know. So much has been happening. I have to train and practice, I have to think about what you said and also Yujin..." At that moment I realised I had said too much.

"Yujin what?" She asked in a slightly more serious tone, now grabbing my hand a little less tightly.

"Uhh... After training that day, we went out for dinner and she confessed to me. I'm really conflicted now and I feel that I really have to focus to fuel my chances to debut." She looked at me, with a slight frown on her face.

"But you know you like me, don't you? Just go out with me, please?" She took a step closer, and whispered to me, "If you go to prom with me, I'll take it that were dating." With that, she gave me a peck on my cheek and ran off.