Life With The Jacksons

Chapter 1 *How*

CHAPTER 1

*HOW*

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ARZEL'S POV

"Hey Zach! I told you not to come here!" I bursted with annoyance.

My best friend's eyes locked to mine with full confusion.

"Wait, what? You've got to be kidding me Ms. Adams. Yesterday, you filled wetness all over my shirt because of your unending tears. And the next thing I know, you're shooing me out of your sight?"

His palms sliding through his messy blonde hair.

My eyes..it's starting to get filled with liquids. Oh my god! What have I done?!

"Oh come on Arzel!"

Zach complained, as if he didn't believe I was about to cry.

"Oh Jesus..no! Don't... Oh gahd! So now what? I made you cry again? Oh pleas---"

I started resting my head to his shoulder. I just couldn't help it anymore.

I'm hurt. Very much already.

"Zach, I-I'm sorry..f-for being such a crybaby. I just can't---"

"Sssh" He held my face and cupped my cheeks with his hands making me face him.

"It's alright. You can always cry on my shoulder."

I cried and cried. I burst out almost all of my tears...again!

"You know it right? You knew how everything happened! You knew what I've been through and you know how I managed to fight all the pain."

"Yes, I know. That's what I kept telling you, you don't have to always say sorry for hurting my brother."

After he said those words, it feels like another knife just stabbed me again.

'Brother'. Oh yea. It's his brother.

Now I feel more guilty.

How could I, a best friend of a very nice person, hurt his brother so badly and so meanly? Am I that bad?

'Yes you are Arzel.' my subconscious haunted me.

Oh shit! This is full crap! I think I want to die! This is freaking me out very much already!

"How did you tell him Arz?" Zach asked out of nowhere.

"I actually haven't yet. I am still about to tell him."

"Didn't he get your actions? Didn't he have clues based on the way you treat him? I mean, didn't Alex get the point that you don't like him anymore?"

We both sat on the bench here at the garden of our school. It's kinda peaceful here so it's probably a good place to stay when you're problematic.

"I think he knows what I'm trying to mean, actually. But I think he's hiding the thoughts and hiding his guess that I am not into him already. Maybe he wants to hear it directly from me"

"I think so. But, do you really have to do this?"

His face frowned. I know Zach doesn't want me to break up with Alex. Because he himself knew, that I am still madly, badly, deeply in love with his brother.

Another batch of tears escaped my eyes.

This is so hard. And painful.

"I would do anything for Jennifer, Zach. You know that. I don't want to lose my bestfriend"

Here we go again.

"I don't know what to feel about that, Arz. I don't know if I should be happy or mad at that decision of yours. Sacrificing your own joy for the sake of your bestfriend's happines? That is not cool at all. It's like you're throwing a diamond and picking up a rock just because the rock is colorful while the diamond is merely plain."

Boom. It hit me again.

Why does he have to say the best words that would hit me the most?

"Zach, how could you say that? You too are Jennifer's bestfriend, right? How could you not feel the same way I feel---"

"Stop it Arzel!!" He shouted. What is going on? Why is he mad all of a sudden?

"I can feel what you are damn feeling right now because I too, am hurt! I too, am sacrificing my happiness for others'. You just don't see it because you don't open your eyes. You don't open your heart. You always listen to others, not to me. That's why you can't see that I am freakin in love with you! And you know, I hate myself for doing that! Because it just keeps hurting me like hell."

I was frozen.

I couldn't move.

Wha-what did he just say?

He's in love with...with me?

But, how?

My bestfriend, and my boyfriend's brother is in love with me? Too?