Him & I

8-Maddy

When I called Dawson I had the biggest lump in my throat.

He had been my first everything, almost. I knew that telling him this was going to be hard.

By the end of the phone call I was even more nervous, since he was coming over.

He gave me the best hug I'd gotten in a while from him when he arrived.

We sat down on the couch and cried for at least an hour while I explained everything that was wrong. I felt a lack of love, he was always jealous, always keeping me from my friends, always touching me inappropriately in front of his when I asked him not to.

I told him how hard it was to keep Anna out of my mind. He told me that he had never wanted to lose me. So he lied. I explained that in doing that, he made it worse.

That made us both cry.

I told him I couldn't do this anymore, but it was always hard to say no to him.

When we were sitting in the kitchen, and I told him about Braxton, I saw a wall come up. He was broken, hurt, and really sad. He got up to leave, but I blocked the door. I wanted us to be on good terms.

He wouldn't accept anything more than a break. So when he left, he gave me an emotional hug and kiss, and we were on a break.

Upon joining my family at camping, three days after talking to Dawson, I realized that I really couldn't be with him.

I called him up, and he was mad this time. I could feel him seething through the phone. He said something, and hung up. That was the second to last real conversation I'd have with him. I felt extremely free.

I immediately got back into another relationship. With Braxton this time. That was the best decision of my life, even though as I write this, I'm single.

Dawson made up so many rumours that people stopped beleiving him, and he is now on his second girlfriend since our breakup.

I only miss him in the dead of the night when I'm thinking about what could have been.