Here But Not Awake

4

Cold.

Nothing but cold.

Well darkness too.

He couldn't hear, or maybe this is what death is.

Just... nothing.

So this is death, just a whole lot of nothing. He would laugh but dead people can't laugh.

He hears something now.

Shouting... wait no, crying? Whose crying?

Is.. is it Rick?

Then, more silence.

More nothing.

But now there's a light. But not light... those are colors? He wants to reach out to them but he can't move.

And then he wakes up.

---

Morty realizes he's not only awake but alive when he hears the sounds of a hospital around him.

He can feel his senses slowly coming back to him but he doesn't open his eyes.

He can't face the fact that he tried to kill himself and somehow failed at it. 'Guess I am good for nothing' Morty numbly thinks.

Slowly he opens his eyes, the light of the room painful. His head is fallen to the side so he sees a couch pulled next to his bed with Rick sprawled out on it, passed out. He moves his head and looks at where he is.

It looks like a normal hospital but when his eye catches a window he sees that he's in space.

Morty tries to sit up and succeeds but not until he notices that his arms are cuffed to the side of his bed. He also can see from his hospital gown that had ridden up a little that that the cuts on his legs have some sort of weird purple gel on them.

He stares at the cuffs on his wrists and sighs frustratedly. Of course hed get tied down, he's so much of a fuck up that they had no choice but to.

Rick must've heard Morty moving because he groans and sits up a little. "Look who finally is woken up. How was your nap sleeping beauty?" He says his voice low and sad. Morty looks down slightly ashamed. He is the cause of Ricks sadness and there's nothing he can do to fix this.

Morty can't seem to find words so he just kind of shrugs his shoulders.

"M-Morty.. we need, um, we gotta talk about," Rick waves his hand toward Morty while speaking "we gotta talk about this Morty."

Morty bites the inside of his cheek and feels tears starting to form. God damn it, crying is not what he wants to do. He can't do this to Rick.

Rick looks at his grandson unsure of where to go with this one sided conversation. Morty obviously feels bad about this. "C-come on Morty, I know I haven't been very good g-grandpa before but, um, but this is s-something that, ya know, thats kinda important."

Morty looks up a little. "I thought nothing was important to you."

Rick can't contain it anymore. "Th-th-that is IT!" Rich shouts standing up pointing a finger at his grandson. "Y-y-you're a real piece of shit, Morty! A real piece of shit! I-I-I find you in y-your room half dead and save you and y-y-you say that nothings important to me?" He scoffs loudly. He actually is just clearing his throat to get tears that are forming away. "Y-y-you have no idea what, uh, y-you do-don't know that y-you're talking about Morty, y-you don't know what its like to find someone you love almost dead." He suddenly feels the anger leave him. He sighs and stares at the boy cowering below him.

Morty doesn't even want to look up. He really messed up this time and now Rick is super pissed. He doesn't even try to defend himself from the words. He doesn't even want to cry. Morty's so tired of crying.

Rick's hand starts to reach toward a pocket in his coat when remembers that he left his flask at home when flying Morty to the hospital. Its been a long, chaotic day. He clears his thoat. "M-Morty, I um, I'm sorry you feel like you can't trust me. I understand why, I'm a piece of shit too Morty." Rick sits on the bed next to Morty and places a hand on Morty's shoulder. Morty looks up, his eyes watery. "Morty? Come on, give me something?" He says, his voice empty and low.

Morty looks up at Rick, trying desperately trying not to cry. "R-Rick? Can, um, can I have a hug?" His voice catches on the last word.

Rick frowns slightly. "Oh, um, okay kid." He sits on the bed next to Morty and wraps his arms around him. After a few seconds he hears slight sniffling from Morty. Rick doesn't let go for a good few minutes while Morty cries on him.

Morty needs to let it out. He's been learning from Rick too well in Rick's opinion and Rick knows that Morty needs to let it out.

The kid tried to kill himself for god's sake!

After Morty's sniffles slowly turn into normal breaths, he let's go and smiles at Morty sadly.

Morty can't help but feel guilty, he can see how much he's hurt Rick. And now he's getting a bunch of pity.

He supposes that its better than Rick being mean or acting like he doesn't care. Its nice to know that someone actually cares.

He rarely ever feels cared for anymore these days.

"Rick... y-y-you don't, um, you don't know how much I needed this." Morty starts.

"How much you needed to try and kill yourself!?" Rick shouts.

"N-no Rick! I, um, it forgot what it was like to feel cared about." Morty whispers, feeling anxiety rise up in his as he waits for Rick to blow up at him again.

Instead Rick just stands up, his face dark. He ruffles Morty's hair before saying monotonously, "I'm gonna get the doctor so we can go home" and walks out of the room.

Morty lays on his back, wishing he could curl up in a ball.

He's really fucked up this time.

The door opens and Rick plus a light green, eight armed woman with dark blue spots on her skin. "Hello, I'm Dr. Nubbs. Let me just check your vitals then you can go. I trust your grandfather will take care of you."

A few minutes pass as the doctor checks his vitals. "Okay, I've talked to your grandfather and you can go home as long as you promise to stay safe. I don't want to see you back here." Dr. Nubbs says, grinning widely and fake.

Morty nods his head slightly and the doctor undoes the cuffs holding him to the bed. Morty swings his legs over the side and tries to stand and fails, falling down but Rick catches him, picking him up.

"Let's go home, Morty." Rick says flatly, walking out of the hospital and into the ship with Morty in his arms. He gently sets the kid in the passenger seat and they take off silently.