Save Me From Myself

Chapter 37

Luan's POV

The doctor had kept me in the hospital for another week, to make sure that I was fine.

Today was finally the day that I was released. When we got home, the first thing I did was to go upstairs and lie down in my bed.

Well I climbed the stairs with assistance from my siblings due to the fact that I had to use the forearm crutches and I couldn't support my body with only one good arm.

I never realized how tired I was or how uncomfortable the hospital bed was, until I was in the comfort of my own bed.

"Luan are you alright?" Luna asked, from her position in the bean chair.

"Yeah. Why?" "Well you just seemed more closed off these last few weeks," she stated, nervously.

"I promise you, I'm fine." "If something was wrong you'd tell me right?" She asked.

I closed my eyes. Hesitating to answer. "Luan?"

"Huh? Uh yeah of course I'd tell you," I lied to her.

No matter how many times I lied to her, the guilt still felt just as bad, if not worse.

I can only imagine what Mal and Tessa are doing with that video of me. It hurts to even think about it.

Seriously. The doctor said that the fall cracked my head open and that it would take weeks to heal.

After dinner, everyone was getting ready for bed, except for me. The doctor recommended a week off from school, to see how my progress was going.

While everyone went to bed, I sat in the living room, watching a movie.

As I sat on the couch, my phone made a ping. I checked the notifications.

MissTree sent you an attachment. Would you like to open it?

MissTree? I didn't know the screen name, but I clicked on it.

There was the pic of me in my underwear, crying.

I exited the notification and set my phone down. At that same moment, my text alert went off.

Private number: Enjoy ur pictures bitch!

Next, a whole bunch of pics and files came swarming my phone.

As much as it wasn't healthy to keep viewing this crap. I couldn't stop the urge and once the urge came, the viewing did also.

A fresh set of salty tears filled my eyes. I wiped them away, as I kept scrolling through the feed.

People made many comments on the picture.

Comments:

Lol@gurrl: Thot! Thot! Thot!

Babylace: She's 2 damn ez.

DJ_KOLE: Slut at work.

MissTree: Luv ur poison yet?

Another short vid came with me running down the stairs and Maggie was in the background but it was edited, with the caption,
"When A Friend Sees Her BFF With Another Girl's Man."
Friend's thoughts 🙈💩🙊- What a total Slut.

I threw my phone down on the couch. My secret temptation was calling my name but my razor was too far.

Then I looked on the coffee table and the knife was right there. Lola left the knife that she used to cut the cake.

I listened for any indication that someone was awake. The hallway light went on. Someone flushed the toilet and switched the lights off.

Taking a shaky breath, I slid the knife along my wrist, admiring my artwork.

I wanted more. I needed more. One cut wasn't enough. I cut my wrist another few times, deeper. I had to bite my lip, just to hide the pain.

When I was done, I took up a piece of napkin off the table to clean up my cuts.

They were a nice addition to my other cuts that were faded.

I closed my eyes and allowed the sleep to take me away.