This part will be written in the first person perspective.
This still does not mean it is my story.
And it's kind of a stream of consciousness so it will not always make sence.
But I hope you understand her point of few.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I can not take the pill because it could trigger a thrombosis.
I can not have sex if I don't take the pill.
I will not have my period if I don't take the pill.
If I don't get my period I might never have kids.
I want to have kids.
I need to take extra medication if I ever get pregnant.
I hate this.
Right now I feel empty, lonely and sad.
I would like to be mad.
But at who?
God? The universe? Myself?
I don't know what to do..
I don't know if I should tell someone.
Even if, who could I tell?
Who would actually care?
No one can do anything about that.
With every day I might loose the change of having kids.
Every month I don't get my period my future fades away..
I can't have kids now.
I need to go to school and learn so I can get a good job to secure my future.
But what is my future without kids?
With every other thrombosis, I will take a very real risk to die.
I do not want to die.
Not like this.
Not now.
I have my howl life ahead of me.
I can not die.
I will not die.
But what am I without a happy future to look forward to?
Again I am sitting here crying.
All of this seems so surreal.
But it is the god damn truth.
I even got a letter from my physician to prove it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This might be a bit confusing.
So let me sum this up.
It is a dilemma in which she has to choose between never having kids or taking the risk of dying.
But for a woman/girl that dreamed of having kids and a big family of her own since she was fifteen years old it is just the worst.
She also can't have kids now because she got into a school to become a chemical assistant. And she needs this education to get a promising job so she can earn money without having to depend on another person.
And she wants to give her kids a promising future as well.
So now she has to decide.
Or find another way to deal with this situation she is currently in.
AN:
This is a rather short part put I think I captured the essence of it.
I don't know when I'm updating again.
But this is defiantly an ongoing story.
Be patient.
YOU ARE READING
Fading Away
RandomIt is a dilemma in which she has to choose between never having kids or taking the risk of dying. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This might or might not be true. This might or might not be my story. This might or might not be a story at all. And I don't...