Imagine.. Jared Leto Being There For You *Trigger Warning*

*THIS IS A TRIGGER WARNING. If you are likely to be triggered by reading this then I advice you greatly to do something else. Go and listen to Mars, read another imagine or just google pictures of cats in baths. I only write things like this when I'm going through a bad time so I greatly advice you not to read if you feel the same way. Thank you and I am always here if you need to talk*

"I can't believe I'm telling you this but.. Rachael.. She's dead.." 

You sat bolt upright in bed. For a couple of seconds: everything seemed to be distant. Nothing was on your mind. As you started to adjusted to your surroundings the realisation became flooding back.

Rachael, your best friend, had died last night. 

You were meant to have gone out last night. It was Friday and all of your friends were going out drinking. You had been ill all week and still felt that way so you decided to stay home. The drinking had turned excessive and before anybody knew it, Rachael had walked up to a balcony and had fallen and hit her head. She died on impact. Gone. 

You glanced at your alarm clock and it was 3AM. It hadn't actually hit you that she had gone until now: you felt your whole body go weak, your breathing rate increase and your strength dissolving away. Rachael was the one who introduced you to all the different possibilities of life and most importantly: she was the one that introduced you to Jared by working on the set of Dallas Buyers Club. Without her working there, you wouldn't have met Jared. Without her helping you through the bad times, you wouldn't be here. Now she was gone. 

The tears ran down your face as you couldn't help the screams coming out of your mouth. How had you been so stupid and not gone and looked out for her? How could you have not been there like she had been there for you? How were you going to cope without her? You wanted to ring Jared. To tell him everything that had happened and how you were getting worse. When reaching for your phone, you stopped yourself. You remembered the argument you had had with him two nights ago. 

"I hope you're not too drunk.." You said with a laugh in your voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jared snapped harshly. 

"I was only joking.." You spoke slowly trying to calm him. "Just have a little fun, yeah?" 

"Oh, you think I don't have enough 'fun'? Am I not 'fun' enough for you now?" He continued.

"Jared I didn't-" You were interrupted. 

"No, no don't even go there. Every time you call me now we always end up fighting. This is fucking ridiculous! Jesus Christ.. Don't bother calling next time. Bye." 

Although he'd drunk that night - you could tell he wasn't that drunk. Every phone call you had with him just got worse and worse. The problem was you hadn't seen each other in so long that you missed each other and started to worry that the other person was liking somebody else. You more than ever. 

You recoiled your hand from your bedside table. The thought that the only two people you've ever been able to turn to had left made your stomach tie into knots. With your parents living in Sweden, the fact it was 3am and your inability to hold yourself together: you buckled. Finally the university work had become too much, the stress of not having Jared or your parents close and the loss of your best friend had made continuing life seem completely impossible. There really is not any point of me being alive anymore you thought. 

Slowly, you moved your hand to the bottle of sleeping pills to your left and all you wanted to do was sleep. And sleep. And sleep. By the time no more pills were left in the bottle: it seemed that was the only thing you would be doing from now on.