GOURMET

五

"And you shouldn't have to. If that's the main reason, the whole point behind his cheating, is because you wouldn't have sex, because you were uncomfortable. Then he's, he's not even a douche, he's just, just a dick. He's just a scummy trashy person. You have no fault at all."

"But what if I'd just, I don't know, done it. What if I just slept with himㅡ"

"ㅡYou can do that." Yongnam bit his bottom lip. "You can but, you shouldn't... I mean, you don't have too. You are entitled to do nothing at all with him." He shook his head, even though he knows that she can't really see him. "It's, it's not fair. I'm sorry that this happened."

"Oh no," she sniffed again. "Please don't be. You were the only one, well the only one who wasn't coddling me I guess. And I didn't really want to be coddled at the time. I still am, being coddled, I mean. So you're the only one, the only one who I guess, I don't know what I'm trying to say." She chokes out. "My minds a mess, it's jumbled, and I can't, sometimes I just can't think about anything but him and her and how he just, how could he?"

"He's a dickwad." He forces out. "Listen, with me, I felt. I was torn, because all my life, people have been leaving. I was never good enough for anyone. My sister, God bless her, is the only one who has stuck around, and my best friend as well. You see, I," he pauses because he's evidently going to tell this girl the story of his family already. "My family, my parents, they, uh, they suck, honestly."

"What?"

"I know, it may seem weird." He chuckles. "But when I was younger, my mom got sick, it wasn't too bad honestly, but my dad, he just, the longer she was in the hospital, the more it was just my sister and I going. By the sixth month of her laying in a bed, doped up on medicine, he just stopped showing up. Our aunt, who was there to help my dad out with us while my mom, her sister, was in the hospital. But then, I went to see, went to see dad and he was just," Yongnam paused, voice shaking. "The things he was saying about my mom and more importantly about my sister, and what he did with my aunt was disgusting. So then, he took off with our Aunt and their together now, even have a kid, kinda weird because he's my cousin and my brother in a very, fucked up ordeal. But he's great, we like him, me and my sister. But we don't talk to my dad, or my aunt anymore." He laughs. "Anyways, by miraculous recovery, my mom got better, and came home, then three days later, dad left. Then a week later mom did. She said she couldn't stand to look at us without seeing him and her and everything they did to her. Which I get, you know, it must have hurt her. But, I, I was fourteen, and I had to grow up.

"It was terrible." He sighs out. "So when Kyungri cheated on me. I wasn't upset that she cheated. I was honestly okay the night I saw her. But then, a few days passed and I realized, that I, I hated her. Because, to me, she was, she is just like my dad. I don't know if I can forgive her for that. I know I said that I did, because I do, forgive her for cheating on me, but I don't forgive her for cheating." He heaves. "I don't know how to say it. But back then, I just wanted to break things, I just wanted to not think about her anymore. Because, it just, it made me lose control. Cheating it's just, it's the worst thing ever and I can't imagine ever, doing it or being okay with it." He swallows. "Sorry, I didn't meant to unload years of problems on you."

"It's okay." She responds softly. "I'm sorry that that happened to you." She pauses before she says, roughly. "And I'm sorry that girl was a ridiculously frigid bitch."

He laughs, unexpectedly. "And I'm sorry that Sungjin was a terrible fucking dick."

"You don't say? I feel better, now that I've talked about it a little."