Be okay? Pls?

Part of me will always love him.

They asked me to talk about whatever you did to me all this time I sluttered then fell, then started crying, then scratched myself. They said I was a horrible person to deal with. They said it'd be better to put me to bed that time not too late it was that I scratched myself again because dark brown strands of hair, pretty much the only great thing about you was which I could still find in my bed and clothes. They asked me if I wasn't comfortable to talk about all of it; I didn't scratch myself neither did I cry because just the thought of talking about you made me feel like a cloth being pushed into the water; the pruney fingers spread wide seeming to touch all of me, my entire body softening with every touch of yours, it felt like I was made of fibres. The very fibres which were crawling out and you promised to stitch. I didn't want to turn around and not see your face when you were touching me because of the fear of your soft touch turning into a violent one, making me not want to be with you. Everything about your hands was beautifully sad, i wanted to be there with you when he used to hit you; I wanted to be there and tell you everything about how perfectly great you were or maybe you still are I could never be sure of it. I wanted to be there and tell you about how you could just run away from him and do everything you wanted to do then, I now want to tell, you did an absolutely great job growing from the dirt he had put you in, I want to tell you that all of what you did to me is still going to remain in me and I will never love you again but I'll always like you I swear, I will.

Part of me will always love him.
- I.