Take On Me

Chapter 4

"That'll be $2.99," I gave the barista the money, muttered a thank you and left Starbucks. Holding my piping hot cup of coffee in my gloved hands, I stepped out into the strong wind. I briskly walked into the large shopping mall illuminated by each individual shop window. We had recently been hit with a freeze-wave which I suppose was natural considering it was September.

It had been about a week since my run in with Dan. I hadn't been to the Grump Space, instead choosing to work from home. Suzy was absolutely fine with it, of course, and she never asked why. I couldn't bear the thought of facing him, facing my embarrassment. What would he think of me? He'd think I was just some whore who did what she did because she failed school or something.

I sighed with contentment as the rich liquid slithered down my throat, the warmth resonating throughout my body. I hadn't bought much, only a book and some make up, when I entered the clothing store. I had been meaning to get some clothes since I had braces the last time I'd been shopping. I flicked through the different fabrics and my thoughts travelled back to the confrontation. It had hardly left my mind, no matter how much I willed it to stop keeping me up at night.

"Fiona!" I spun around to find Suzy making her way over to me.
"Hey, Suzy," I smiled.
"How have you been? Have you been sick? What's going on? The office just isn't the same without you," she gushed as I took in all the information.
"I'm fine, y-yeah I had a cold and my, uh, car needs repairing so I think it'd be better if I didn't come back for a little while, sorry."
"Aw that sucks! Well, Arin and I can give you a ride if you need it? Oh! Actually, Danny lives really close to you. I'm sure he'd drive you!"
"Oh, uh, no it's fine! Thanks for the offer, though. Where's Arin?"
"He's at the GameStop next door, you should come say hi! Barry and Ross are there too, I think," her eyes pleaded to me. I knew she knew something else was up but I wasn't sure if she knew it involved Dan.
"Uh... sure," I gave a weak smile, there couldn't be any harm in just saying hi and Danny wasn't even there.

"Hey guys," I forced a smile to the three men, engrossed in choosing video games.
"Hey, Fiona!" Barry said, giving me a toothy grin. Ross waved at me as Arin perused the different titles, presumably for a new series on the show.
"Sorry I haven't been in for a while, I've just not been feeling well and I-"
"Fiona," I spun around as time seemed to slow down. Dan stood there with his unruly jew-fro and packets of Skittles, I could see it in his eyes.
His confusion.
His disappointment.
His excitement at finally being able to ask all his questions.
"Uh... Hey, Dan," I stumbled over my words.
"How have you uh been?"
"I've been better. You?"
"I'm good..." I could feel Suzy's gaze resting on our brief exchange, the gears in her head slowly turning. She was clearly trying to find a way to cut the tension that was thick as a stack of encyclopedias.

I couldn't take much more as my face started burning red and my eyes began to tear up at the thought of everyone rejecting me, being disgusted at what I do.
"I gotta go, sorry, bye," I mumbled as I pushed past Dan towards the exit. I was abruptly stopped as I felt a hand grab my arm. I turned back to see him staring into my eyes intently, obviously wanting some answers.
But I just couldn't give him answers.
Not now. Not ever.
I yanked my arm away from him and continued towards the mall exit.
"Hey! Fiona!" I continued on, not looking back.
"Fiona!"
"What?"
"What do you mean 'what?'? You've been avoiding me all week! You can't just do that, I was so worried about you,"
"Why? Why would you be worried about someone like me?"
"Because I care about you," I was taken aback. Of course Danny and I were friends but he said it with such sincerity and conviction that I couldn't help but hesitate in my escape as my heart lurched into my throat. I stared at him, dumbfounded.
"I don't care about what you do, I don't care about the way you have to dress. I care about you, so goddamn much," I was speechless as he stepped towards me. He wrapped his arms around me in the middle of the mall. I hugged him back and breathed in his scent, the same as on his jacket.

And I couldn't help but smile.

***

We sat opposite each other in the independent cafe, the smell of freshly ground coffee beans soaking me in delight. I simply had hot cocoa while Dan had a black coffee. I stirred the brown liquid around and around, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Fiona, I-"
"So you-" we spoke at the same time. I looked away, hiding behind my hair as I blushed.
"I'm sorry I freaked you out the other night," he struggled to meet my gaze.
"I-it's ok, I'm sorry you had to see me like that. It's disgusting."
"It's not disgusting. I thought you were amazing, I had no idea you were that physically fit and you were really like... hot and sexy it was crazy-" he stopped in his rambling as he realised what he had said.
"Uh, thanks but I don't do it for enjoyment, I do it to pay the rent," my face was more flushed than ever.
"You should teach classes, you know."
"I guess I could but I wouldn't know how to get started and it's a lot of work."
"I remember what happened the first night I saw you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"I remember what I said to you when you drove me home, do you?"
Of course I did, it had hardly left my mind.
"Yeah."
"Good, because I meant it... I'm sorry, I have to ask, why didn't you say anything after the first time I saw you?"
"I-I was just so embarrassed, I hadn't planned for you guys to find out, especially as you were giving me a job so I could get back on my feet with rent an-"
"Hold on, are you having money troubles? Are you behind on your rent?"
"I'm not behind, I just use a lot of my money to stay there. Don't worry, it's not important."
"No, it is important. You know, Barry and I have a spare room you could stay there?"
"No no it's fine, thank you though."
He looked at me, clearly concerned.
"Really. It's fine," I insisted. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes not leaving mine.
"Ok. If you say so, but the offer will always be there."
We fell into a comfortable silence for a brief moment.
"Listen, I don't care what you do but are you gonna tell the others?"
"I don't know. Probably sometime soon but please don't tell them."
"I won't." He gave me a look which told me I should tell them as soon as possible but I couldn't help but be nervous. After all, it's not exactly a popular career choice.

What would they think of me now?

***

We made our way back to the others as my mind was swimming with doubts and worries. I hadn't been able to face any of them for the whole week so this impromptu confession meant I was more than a little uptight.
"Hey guys, sorry about that," I chuckled slightly, trying to ease my screaming anxieties.
"It's cool, hey I gotta go to the bathroom, wanna come with? Yep? Great," Suzy rambled out before grabbing me by the arm and pulling me into the restroom.
"So what the hell happened?"
"Uh, did you need to pee?"
"What? No of course I didn't, I wanted to talk to you alone," Suzy was too sneaky for me.
"Well basically, uh, I have this secret and Dan found out and Arin might know but he was kinda drunk and I've been avoiding Dan all week because he totally confronted me about it and now he wants me to tell everyone but I'm super scared to tell anyone," I gushed. I let out a breath I had been subconsciously holding.
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"Did he kiss you?"
"What, no! Why would you think that?"
"I don't know just the way he looks at you and you look at him but whatever. So what is this secret anyway?"
"I'm a stripper."
"What?" I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and my throat about to close up.
"I said I'm a stripper. Well, mostly pole dancer I don't really do the stripping stuff most nights."

Beat.

"That's..."
"Gross, I know."
"That's so awesome!" I was taken aback at how accepting she was.
"What do you mean?"
"You should totally do classes! I really wanna lose some weight so this would be great," she gasped.
"You must be so sexy and I had no idea! Oh my god let me come and see you, please? Please please please please pleeeeeaaaaase?" she begged.
"Uh, sure. So you're not mad?"
"Mad? Why would I be mad?"
"I don't know..." I trailed off, because I really didn't know anymore.
"I'm assuming that you actually go to that club The Exotic Island when you're looking after 'Georgia'? Ok so I'll see you at the club on Tuesday at like 8? Oh whatever, I'll bring Arin and we'll just stay until you can leave."
"Uh, yeah sure," I was frozen in place.
"Maybe I'll bring Dan too..."
"Sure,"
"And maybe I'll bring Barack Obama."
"Whoever you wanna bring."
"Fiona, do you know what I just said?"
"What?" She laughed.
"I'll see you at the Grump Space on Monday," she said as she left me to stand in the restroom alone. Now I just had to muster up the courage to tell the rest of the guys...

Oh shit, Suzy and Arin and maybe Dan and Barack Obama we're going to see me pole dance on Tuesday.

Better polish up my routine.