The Monster Within

I stood there by the door. The words ringing in my ears and stabbed me in the heart. "They're gone, honey". Three words that seemed to break me down and tear at my insides. I never knew how much it would hurt until I lost them.

They were two years older than I was. I would see them every day after school. The girl had brown hair mid-back length and the guy had shorter brown hair. I knew they were twins. Same hair, same blue eyes. Identical twins. They would stand in the same spot and wait for their sister. One day, I was standing in the hallway. A boy was making fun of me. Tears streaked my face. He laughed at me, saying I was weak. But I felt an arm around me and I looked up. Those same twins I saw every day were standing right by me. The girl shielded me and the words that left her mouth stuck with me. "Leave our cousin alone".

From that moment, I became part of their family. Their sister Alice was now my cousin. Every one in their family welcomed me, especially Caleb and Abrianna. They saw me as one of the babies.

Five weeks later, I noticed a change in Alex. She didn't seem to be this happy person anymore. She had scars on her wrists from when she would cut. I was always there for her. It seemed like I just wanted her to be happy. I held her when she cried, just with the hope that her pain could go away.

But when I saw her two days later with the cut across her arm, I knew it wasn't going away. I remember crying and just begging her to stop hurting yourself. "Please stop cutting... I don't wanna lose you, Alex". I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. She placed her hand on my cheek and wiped the tears away. "I promise, Sparrow". And she did stop. The cuts faded into scars and she was so much happier. I felt like I would always be there for her. Unfortunately, that was only just a dream..

I stood there in the front of the English building. The morning was cold and clouds blocked the sky. My phone rang and I checked the number. My face changed when I saw Caleb's name on my screen. I answered and something felt off.

"Hey, Caleb"

"Hey Katie". He never called me Katie. It was always Sparrow.

"Why did you call me?"

"Katie... I have to tell you something" He hesitated.

"What's going on, Caleb?". I was worried.

"I'm so sorry but Alex and James are dead". My heart stopped.

"How?". I started shaking and my breath was shallow.

"Suicide. They're gone, honey". It became silent on the other end. I started crying, my cheeks stinging as the hot tears flooded from my eyes. My knees wanted to give out. I fell to the ground and my entire body felt like everything crashed down on it. My heart wanted to break in half. I had lost them.

You never expect to lose someone to something as hateful as suicide. My world changed when they died. I lost them to a monster on the inside. I lost them to the monster within.