Starlisha's book of complete awesomeness

Popular girls

Me (high school meh): *walking in the hall*
Popular girl #1: eeeewwwww!! Look at her!! She's like totally gross!!
Popular girl #2: Ugh!! She doesn't dress right!! Like, let's never talk to her!
Popular girl #3: let's make her feel bad about herself so that we can gloat on how pritty we look, and how ugly she looks!!
Me: *pulls down sunglasses, thinking* aww heeeeeeellll naaaawwww!!!! Bitchy popular girls!! And not the mother fuckin good kind!!! DAMNIT!!!
Popular girl #1: hey you, you're like, totally sitting in our spot there!
Popular girl #2: yeah, you're like, not supposed to be here.
Me: oh, I'm sorry, is your name on it?
Popular girl #1: n....no...
Me: have you pissed on it yet?
Popular girl #2: ew...no...
Me: then....it's not yours. *looks back at cell phone*
Popular girl #3: you have rainbow sunglasses? That's like, totally gay, ohmygosh!!! She's gay!! *starts laughing like snobby girls* hahahahahahahahahahah!
Me: nooooo...I support gay couples, I'm not gay, I'm BI, and if you're looking for someone who will go out with such little snobs like you, there a-over there. *points to random direction*
Popular girl #3: she's like, totally not affected by our insults!!
Popular girl #1: don't worry, I like have plan!! You're grandma wants her hair back.
Me: oh. Well, can you tell her that I can't give it to her right at this moment, because one, she's dead, two, I'm talking to the clowns daughter, who just learned how to put on make-up!!