Forbidden

Chapter 5

I couldn't help but look at the way Harry kept looking at me while we were at dance. I hope that Sam didn't notice. I'm sure he didn't. He was getting a little aggravated with us. Apparently we're not getting the dance right. We still have some time though. I'm sure we'll get it right. Once practice was over Sam just left without really saying anything. I'm fine with that if he was just going to yell at us if he said anything. I noticed that Harry didn't leave though. I handed him my extra bottle of water. He took a drink before asking, "When's the first class you have to teach?"

"I have a little bit."

"Can we please talk now then?"

I nodded before walking out of one of the studio room. I walked down the hall to my office. I heard his footsteps behind me again. I should have just agreed to talking to him earlier. I knew he would figure out that I still have some time before I have to start teaching my next class. Once he was in my office I closed the door behind us. I walked over sitting on the couch with some space between us as I turned to look at him. He looked at me a little confused, "Why did you close the door? We're the only ones here."

"I know. I just don't want anyone to hear if they come in early."

He nodded, "I want to talk about what happened yesterday."

I started messing with my hands. It's just what I do when I'm nervous. I mumbled, "I know."

"Allison, what do you think about it?"

I know I need to be honest about this. I mean it's not like anyone else is going to find out. We don't really go around the same people. I know he's not exactly close with Sam either. I continued messing with my hands, "It shouldn't have happened. It felt so right though."

He mumbled, "You felt it too?"

I nodded before looking up at him. His green eyes quickly meeting mine. He started to smile as he moved closer to me. I felt him put his hand on top of mine, "Have you felt anything like that with Adam?"

I shook my head, "I've never felt that before."

"Why shouldn't it have happened then?"

"Harry, I'm with Adam still. I know I'm not happy with him but that still doesn't give me the right to cheat on him."

He shook his head, "You're going to leave him anyway."

"I know. I still have a little bit before that."

"Ashlyn, you need to do what makes you happy. Not everything in your life has to be about him now."

I looked back down at my hand. His was still laying on top of mine. I know he's right. I should do what makes me happy. I still shouldn't be cheating on Adam though. I get that he's cheating on me too. He's been doing it for so long. It hurt at first but now I'm just used to it. That still doesn't mean I get to do the same thing to him. I don't want to be like him. It did feel right being with Harry. Things are just so different with him. I looked back up at him, "I don't want to be like him and be a cheater."

He squeezed my hand, "You're nothing like him though. You're not with multiple other people. You shouldn't fight your feelings for people."

I whispered, "I know."

"Let's go on an actual date then."

I looked at him confused, "What?"

He smiled a little, "Let's go on a nice date. Just the two of us, dressed nice and think about being happy."

I do want to go on a date with him. I don't want to cheat. I'm just not happy anymore. I can't remember what that's like anymore. I should try just doing things for myself. I mean it's not like Adam will find out about it anyway. One date can't hurt anything, can it? I still need to think about it. I mumbled, "I don't know."

"You don't have to answer me right now. Just think about it tonight. I can wait a day to find out your answer."

"Okay."

I do need to think about all this. I know it all is just going to distract me from everything. He squeezed my hand, "I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful."

Before I could say anything he kissed my cheek before walking out. I felt my face start to flush. I can't help it. It's been so long since that's happened. I really do want to go on a date with him. I just don't know. He's younger than me. Not by much so that doesn't really bother me. I just don't want to be a cheater like Adam. He's cheated on me so many other times. I know he still is. I heard he's been with some nurse at his job. I really don't care. That just means it's less that I'm made to have sex with him. Thinking about that just makes me want to throw up a little bit. He's such a disgusting person. I really can't stand him anymore. I do feel something with Harry though. At least every time he touches me. I know he can be an asshole too. He's proved that with the way he treated me at first. I just feel like he was hiding his true feelings though. I mean I have too well till I told him today. I didn't exactly tell him everything about that though. My thoughts got interrupted by the studio door closing. I heard some laughing. I know it's some of the girls here for their class today. I can't let this all distract me from teaching them. I just can't help but think about it all. 

I taught both of my classes before going back into my office. I have a few things to get done with paper work. There's always things to do here. I like it since it keeps me from going home. I can't help but keep getting distracted with my thoughts like the way Harry's lips felt against mine yesterday. It was nice. It was a nice change from what usually happens to me. He was so gentle. I loved it. I want to feel that again. I know I'll have to wait. I shouldn't cheat. It's wrong. It felt right though. I wish I had someone I could talk to about all this. I hate how Adam basically separated me from everyone. I don't have any friends because of him. The closest thing I have to a friend are his friends wife's and girlfriends. I know his friends cheat too. They don't hide it too well. Their wife's are the only ones that don't know. I'm sure Adam takes his other little girlfriends around them too. Not that I really mind anymore. At first when I found out about it all I was upset. Not really anymore. Now I'm thinking about cheating on him. I want to though. Harry could really make me happy. I'm just going to have to hope that he doesn't find out. I mean who knows what he would do if he did.