Drip .. Drip .. Drip ..
Sitting up crying about you're pain you've caused in everyone life's.
You sit up at 3'am thinking about running away from a family who's done all they can to figure you're problems out, you have yet to open up to them, you hide you're cuts and you're scars from them, you fake a smile that a little girl puts on her face with her blushy cheeks glowing because there smile is so big, they ask how you are " I'm fine " when really .. " I've been starving myself, I've cut my skin with my razor, i went to using a knife, im purging for life, I want you to kiss my scars an tell me why I have to be here, you're my family, I would never hurt you. Ask me why I started this, talk me out of this, I want you to help me, I want you to SAVE ME. I'm DYING because you won't force my sleeves up, you force me to eat, you won't force me to say the truth, all you see are eyes that cry a million tears every night, a smile so bright that it'll be like the moon glowing at night. You will never understand until you hear my story. Check my journals, check my closet for the hanging rope I keep hidden, check under my bed for the monster that scare me at night.. All you'll see is the fight I've delt with for the past 4 years because your all fools and don't know you're own child, let me be. Let me die. Let me go back to my home, I'm finished"
Some things are to hard to tell you're own parents.. You cry.. You purge.. You die .. You're in constant pain, the monsters who hide under you're bed are the monsters that are really inside You're head.. See you're bed is you're mind, the monsters want you to stay in the same place and be scared of what comes next, they scar you and you'll take that chance and listen to the monsters that haunt you're mind and wonder you're halls that used to be filled with happiness, buttlerflies, rainbows, love, school and passion.. Now that they decided to haunt you for you're mistakes and flaws they filled you with lies, darkness, death, suicidal thoughts, they made the blades seem special, they made hanging you're self fun, the made starving yourself think you're gonna be some happy person and it'll change you're life SOOOOO much.
It did, you're not the same person who runs around in there diaper, playing with mommies make up, getting in daddies closest an putting on his big work boots, saying I wanna be just like you when I grow up.
You don't wonder in mommies make up, you wonder the halls of gloomy death.
You wonder daddies closet for that gun he said he had, the one he said was for emergencies only, you purge for the blade across you're skin, slowly gliding it, the tingly burning sensation running through you're body, telling you're body that you are not dying but you are seeking for the deep cut; you want it so bad, so that one cut turns into another.. Soon you can't stop..
You keep going, over the scars, over you're already opened cuts, then once you're wrist is dripping in blood, you go to you're thighs and mark you thighs, you stop after you've had enough.. You're body is burning, you're watching you're arm drip the warm red velvet blood, you're thighs burn from the cold blade and watching you're thigh bubble the blood up in small sections.. Tingly? That good warm feeling, are you feeling that you're alive? Good. You think it's good. When really you're killing yourself slowly. And slowly; soon, you'll cut and fall into a sleep.. You would be like Aroua, sleeping beauty. Falling asleep because of small silver blade, you're waiting for someone to notice you, you think to youreself.. Who love or kiss a girl.. Or a boy that when a razor was all they thought loved them? When a razor kissed there body before the bruising, starvation, purging, holding on to life.
Remember when they were sharpeners, how you saw the sharpness they can bring you decide to take the advantage and use it on you're OWN skin. You smile, you're happy for once.. But it's not the happiness you want.. It's just a step away from the true happiness you want, the one you desperately want, but death isn't the happiness you need..
Before you take that blade, that knife, you're fist, you're nails, you're starving, Ect. Before you do anything, you say you're hurting people so you do it, you are, you are hurting them an yourself for you're despiteful choices you made in the life god gave you.
Don't try to beat god at his own game, then you'll have to beat yours.
Drip .. Drip .. Drip ..
The blood runs stale, full of happiness.
Sing the lullaby..
Go to sleep and close you're eyes
And dream of broken butterflies..
That tore their wings against a thorn,
You know the pain that endured..
Silver metal shine so bright,
Scarlet blood that feels so right.
Dream of the blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.
The moon light shinning off your tears,
As you bleed out your worst fears.
So tonight when you start to cry,
Whisper The Cutters Lullaby
Hushabye baby,
You're almost dead
You don't have a pulse you're pillow is red ...
You're family hates you,
You're friends let you bleed ..
Sleep tight with a knife,
Cause it's all you'll need.
Rockabye baby, broken and scarred,
You didn't know life would be this hard.
Time to end the pain you hid so well.. ,
And down you'll come baby,
Straight back to hell.
