143 | Chanmin | [On hold]

F O U R T E E N

The front light from Seungmin's house hurt his eyes at the sudden flash of it's yellow stain, as he finally saw a beacon of light after walking in the dark for nearly half an hour. It was a different feeling, coming home all hurt and alone, freezing with his minimal layers, and the worst part about it: Seungmin could see Hyunjin's house darkened, with not a single light on inside making it's way out. It was then and there that Seungmin realized it was late, very late, and his mother was already home, with her white car parked out the front beside the neatly kept front garden he stood on. 

Shivering and frigid, he walked up to the front door, struggling to pull out his home key from his left pocket as the unwelcoming air gnawed itself into his skin, drawing the heat from him second by second in the most torturable manner possible. It took him a few goes, but as soon as he saw a cream puppy key chain with bubbly eyes look back at him, he knew he could finally get inside; get inside to indulge in the warmth.  

He slotted the key in the door, turned it around, and pushed the door through it's frame, revealing a warmly lit hallway with a small platform, separating it's shoe area and the rest of the space it has to offer. His mother's royal blue high-heels lay right next to his sneakers, with one one it's side, and her equally coloured bag atop the small table beside the right wall wall, neatly unpacked and presented. 

He slipped off his converse tiredly after closing the door, and his mother hastily got up off the couch, leaning in to take an angle of the hallway, showing Seungmin walk down slowly and into the living room without a single word.

His mother had nothing to say at the sight of him, but her face told a thousand words thereafter. And Seungmin knew such an angry look could only mean the worst, and yet another late night to add to the tally for this week. 

"Kim Seungmin, darling. Where have you been?" she asked with pulled back anger, crossing her arms and looking her son straight in the eyes.

"It's way past your bedtime, and you should have been home another two hours ago! I was worried sick to the point were I nearly called the police...but I then heard you just outside, open the front door and step through the frame. I put the phone down after that" she added fearfully, curling her fingers up to her full lips.

"Mum, I can explain-"

"No, you're not going to explain anything. I'm sick of the wait and excuses. You are to go to bed, and you're not going to school tomorrow until next week" she responded, walking away from Seungmin anxiously filled with the impulsiveness of her actions. 

"No! Mum please, I need to be there tomorrow" Seungmin pleaded, watching her walk to her room and slam the door behind her hastily, not a single sentance thrown back at him in response.

Seungmin threw a palm to his forehead in anguish, left standing in the highly lit kitchen alone with nothing to go off of but the short, sharp conversation he had just held with his highly disappointed mother. Now what was he to do? After everything that happened tonight, from making Bangchan leave with no choice but to walk away or his mother, doing the same out of full sadness and guilt, it ultimately made him want to cry. It mad him want to break down, curl up against the wall and cry until his eyes could no longer let him see. It seems that with whatever he does, no matter how much he tries to fix it, he can never stop people from leaving, from turning the other way. 

Tears began to well up in his eyes, and his hands began to shake. He could no longer function, he could no longer comprehend how much wrong he had gotten himself into. His head felt heavy, but his thoughts bared most the weight, pulling him down. 

Oh, to be free and accepted, it was one of the things he has always wished for. And deep down, Seungmin knew that if this was a girl, a straight crush, his mother would have looked back, and understood a lot more. His mother would have let him finish his sentances, and love him the way he was, and put his arms around him and say "it's okay I understand, Seungmin. I understand"

Readers, I'm so sorry if I've been inactive for quite a while, I've just been so busy with studies and to my utmost sadness, I nearly lost my Wattpad account due to inactivity (≧﹏ ≦)! So I'm writing this message just to let you know that I'm doing well, but I hope you're doing as equal too. I hope you've all stayed healthy during these past months and if not, my wishes go out to you all, I wish you all good health and luck for the coming months, even if you don't need it. You all mean the world to me by reading after all, and it's people like you I'll always cherish. 

Forever <3.

Lots of love, Clarity（*＾-＾* ) 💗!