The Alchemy of Lovers and Goodbyes

i

Have you ever felt forgotten? Like waiting for someone to remember your birthday and constantly dropping them hints on your messages but they just don't seem to get it. Though, a part of you understands that some people grew out of traditions, you just can't shake the feeling off your shoulder.

I sighed and dropped my phone as I waited for Kuya Ryuk. Pasado isang oras na mula ng pumatak ang alas dose pero wala pa rin akong natatanggap na pagbati galing kay Kuya Ryuk. Unusual and unsettling. Nakakapanibago na makalimotan niya nalang bigla after all these years.

I stared blankly at the ceiling and contemplated. I'm definitely overreacting.

Lazily, I pulled myself up and made my way to my desk. I picked up my modules and turned off my laptop. Tomorrow's the start of our face to face classes after 3 years. Pandemic really fucked us up and I have no complaints about it. I love staying at home.

I sighed heavily and reached for my cup of coffee. Ubos na pala. I rolled my eyes. I need a refill.

Hindi ko alam gaano ako katagal sa dilim nang bumaba hanggang sa sabay-sabay na bumukas ang mga ilaw sa kusina.

"You're still awake?" Nagulat ako nang marinig si Kuya Ryuk sa likuran. Nakauwi na pala siya. He carefully placed his bike keys on the countertop and pulled a chair. "You shouldn't be eating."

I lifted my tub of greek yogurt and nodded. "Got hungry. May tataposin pa ako kaya ako gising. I just took a break." I said cooly, swinging my legs back and forth while sitting next to the sink.

Hindi ko ugaling magsinungaling pero hindi valid na rason kung sasabihin kong nag-aantay pa rin akong batiin niya.

"But you have classes tomorrow. Aren't you supposed to be resting?"

I shrugged and kept my eyes on my yogurt. "Well, we cope overthinking differently. It just so happens that I deal stress better with more stress and though I'm a hundred percent aware that it's unhealthy, atleast it's working."

Ramdam ko ang dilim ng tingin ni Kuya Ryuk sa akin habang patuloy akong kumakain. A part of me is hurt that he forgot about my birthday but I felt touched that he's still concerned.

Simula kasi ng binuksan niya ang autoshop niya, halos hindi na siya umuwi. Despite of having valid reasons, I just missed spending time with my brother. Lalo na't may napapansin na naman akong kakaiba kay Mama. She seemed to be heading straight to another round of failed relationship. What's concerning this time is how she dresses and talks in a certain way.

It reminds me a lot of a fashion icon named Eliśe Juarez. A famous model around my mother's generation in the industry who passed away 19 years ago by an accident.

"Making excuses will never make a mistake right." saad ni Kuya Ryuk. I quickly opened my mouth to counter him with sass when his phone rings.

Nagkatinginan kami. I tried to push my luck but he lifted his finger.  "Go fetch your modules and bring it to my room. Iwanan mo nalang sa higaan ko and go to bed. Don't forget to brush your teeth and drink water." Mabilis niyang dagdag bago tumayong hawak ang susi ng motor at umalis.

I hissed and stomped angrily. Nakakainis! I barely have time to talk with my brother and he's out again! Hindi ko man lang siya na-inform sa behavior ni Mama lately. Napakamot ako ng ulo at bumaba sa kinauupuan. What a disappointing way to welcome nineteen.

Kinabukasan, I headed straight to the bathroom. I was a little over thirty minutes late to my fifth alarm and I overslept the first four of them. Napangiwi ako while brushing my teeth. Buti nalang talaga naligo ako kagabi.

After that, I quickly put on my comfy clothes paired with soft padded shoes that I prepared lastnight and tied my hair by a satin ribbon. My wavy hair looks soft and shiny with my new shampoo. Hiyang siya finally!

I smiled a couple of times to the mirror while waiting for my setting spray to dry and admire myself. How I love being a woman.

"Yaya, make sure that she'll finish her milk. Her modules are on table by the foyer. Paki-bigay nalang sa kanya and please, keep tabs on her water in take. Mukhang tuyong halaman ang kapatid ko kagabi. Make sure you remind her to drink water. Dalawin mo sa school niya kung kailangan..."

"Kuya!" I exclaimed carefully running down the stairs. Madulas kasi ang sahig sa linis. "You're leaving?" Tanong ko. "Uuwi ka ba tonight?" I asked giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Kuya Ryuk gaze softened as he pinched my cheek softly and left. Hindi man lang siya nagsalita. Literal na iniwan akong nakatulala sa inasta niya. I clenched my teeth and furrowed my brows. Why is he acting like this? Hindi naman siya ganito noong mga nakaraang buwan. I can't help but to pin my hate on his business. Hindi lang birthday ko ang nakalimotan niya kundi pati importance ng communication.

"Ma'am, pasensyahan mo nalang ang Kuya Ryuk mo. Busy kasi yon pero pinagluto ka naman niya kanina ng paborito mong pinakbet."

Hindi ako nagsalita at naupo. Of course the kasambahay will defend Kuya Ryuk, siya ang nagpapasweldo sa kanila. I rolled my eyes and folded my arms to my chest. Then there's mom who's been out of the town more often lately with disturbing behaviors. Nasaan na naman kaya yun?

"What about my modules, Ate? May nasabi ba si Kuya?" I asked while eating.

Tumango naman si Yaya Lusing. " Nasa foyer na, Ma'am. Sinagutan ata yon ni Sir dahil nakita kong fina-file niya ang mga modules mo sa plastic folder kanina. Utos niya rin sa akin na ibigay yun sayo at siguradohing hydrated ka po."

I rolled my eyes for the second time that morning. I can't even appreciate it one bit.

Pagkatapos ko mag-agahan ay dumiretso ako sa foyer. Yaya Lusing is tagging behind me.  Dinampot ko ang folder sa side table at binuksan. My eyes immediately to my hand written essay paper for my soc-sci.  Hindi yun penmanship ni Kuya Ryuk kundi ng anak ng hardinero namin, si Kayla. Alam ko at sigurado ako dahil tinutulongan niya akong magsulat ng reviewers noon!

"Yaya Lusing!" I yelled. "Diba sabi mo si Kuya Ryuk ang gumawa ng module ko?" tanong ko habang unti-unting umiinit ang ulo. "Then how come it's written in Kayla's penmanship?"