When you call me by your name

return - Elio

Elio's POV

I walk down the stairs to the family Villa, scanning each wall. Each panting standing out more than they usually do, I scan each brush stoke I can see. "Elio, is that you?"  I hear my father shouting from his study.

I allow my barefoot to hit the floor as I quickly rush down the stairs and towards the study, "Yes?" 

"Oliver is coming, he is coming to help me work on a new project. Would you like to be taken home for while he is here?" The concern on my father's face reflects how I feel inside. 

Wow Oliver is coming, two years of not seeing his face, and would I be able to handle it? "No, when is he coming?" I ask, my voice slightly braking.

"Two days time, he is coming for a few weeks, until the project is done." My father says. I nod and walk out of the study. Running up to my room to grab my journal I got a few weeks ago and head towards the river. 

I sit in the spot where me and Oliver kissed for the first time, my hand running over the spot he had laid just two years prior. The memories of his soft lips on mine come flooding back; everything I felt that day, I feel like I'm reliving the moment.

I place my hands on my ribs, tilting my head up towards the early morning sun. My legs felt the head from the sun, the light brown journal being the only way to express my feelings for Oliver. 

Since Oliver left, my mind reminds me of the lack of feeling I've felt. The sensation of his touch only being felt when I sleep, the feeling of his skin, his hair, his lips, just him makes me feel so filled, but now that's lacked. After a year or so I began forgetting what he felt like against my body. My thoughts of the older man slip into my mind as I quickly scribble down my fastest thoughts for today.

I quickly flip back to 17th June 1983 

I've finally noticed that my feelings for Oliver have developed a lot more than I expected, he caught me off guard today by staring at me from where he was sat by the edge of the pool. Does he feel the same? Not sure, still didn't figure that out yet!
He is so helpful, he helped Mama carry a few things from inside.
I wish I could watch him forever , he is the definition of a god. 
I wish time could be frozen, so these moments don't have to end, but he leaves soon.
If only he saw me the same way I saw him.
The one moment which replays in my head a lot of the time is one of our first interactions - volly ball, he touched my shoulder, sending a shiver down my body and butterflies in my stomach. 
-Elio

Every day since that night since meeting him, I wrote letters that I could never send. Trying to explain my feelings to Oliver but failing every time I tried.

~

The two days till Oliver arrive pass by quickly, I hear the car pull up to the house making me rush up out of my bed and get my shoes on. Quickly rushing down the stairs, passing my Papa as him and Oliver leave the car. I catch a glimpse of how more handsome he has gotten in the last two years. "Elio, come say hello to Oliver" my auntie says as she spots me.

"Can't, busy" I say, quickly rushing down towards the bikes. I grab one before riding past everyone outside. I watch Oliver's eyes follow me as I ride out of gate.  I finally arrive at the river and once I've gotten to our spot, I notice the tears began flowing. I sit with my knees to my chest, letting the tears flow and letting the water try to calm down.

Before I know it, I see Oliver come towards the grass. "Elio, can we talk?" He asks.

"I'd rather not" I say, collecting myself before I begin walking past him, he grabs my arm and swings me around, so I'm facing him. "Let me go" 

"Not until we talk, it's been two years, Elio"

"And I don't want to talk with you Oliver" I say, tears flowing once again "You left me and didn't give me another thought did you?" 

"Of course I did, but nothing could change reality, no madder how much I wanted you then, It doesn't change the type of life I lived then" He says, his voice breaking with some of the words he says. 

"I loved you Oliver and you left me" I didn't even notice that I was screaming at him, "You left god-damn it. You left" My voice breaks and is no longer above anything than a whisper. I let him hold me as the tears fall, staining his shirt. 

"Elio, we can work through this, but we need to talk everything out" He says, his hand caresses my hair then my cheek then my thigh before resting there to hold me up as he sits on the floor with me on his lap. I breathe in his scent as we stay together.

"Why did you leave?" I mumbled out, hoping he wouldn't hear.

"I hated leaving the most amazing person, but my life called back home, my job, my family and mostly what I had to do to make sure I could come back one day" he says, whispering in my ear.

After a little while, he pulls me to my feet, pushing the bikes on either side of us, Oliver wrapping his arm around my waist. I lean against him, "It's late Elio, so we must be quiet" I nod at his comment, we prop the bikes up against the wall.

Slowly we walk inside, making as little noise as we can. He leads me into his room, "Here or your room?" He asks, and I can't even muster up the energy to speak, so I point at the room he's staying in. Needing to be close to him.

He lays me on the bed before stripping down to his underwear, then helping me do the same. He lays down next to me, letting me wrap my arms around his chest, and he rests my head on top of my head, his hand resting on my shoulder. "I've missed you" he whispers and all I can do right now is hum in acknowledgement.

I fall asleep within Oliver's arms for the first time since I was seventeen.