Quit

Chapter 58

"You feeling good?" She asked me and put the back of her hand on my forehead.

Oh yeah. I was sick by the way.

"Yeah, thank you." I smiled.

"Stop thanking me so much." She said.

"Okay, sorry." I apologized.

"And don't apologize." Y/n sat next to me and laid her head on my shoulder.

My body was stiff. I wasn't used to her being so... affectionate.

Had she done something wrong and was trying to guilt trip me?

"You wanna watch something?" She asked.

She tried her best to sound enthusiastic but I could see right through her. She had no fun in life anymore.

"Yes." I said and she nodded.

Y/n kissed my shoulder before getting up and grabbing my hand so we could walk into the living room.

The atmosphere in the room was horrible.

We ended up watching Spongebob, neither of us enjoying it. Midway through the second episode Y/n was growing more nervous, probably because she wasn't on drugs.

"I have to use the bathroom." Y/n said and got up.

She was probably taking drugs because she couldn't handle it any longer.

5 minutes later she came back, she looked different. More calm.

I was right. She took drugs. Her being clean lasted about 14 hours. Not bad.

We were watching the episode "The Chaperone" where Spongebob was Pearl's prom date.

"I think you and Spongebob would make a great match." Y/n joked and my eyes lit up.

It was a very unfunny joke, but it made me so happy to hear her make an attempt to joke.

"Haha, you're so funny." I said while keeping a straight face.

"Spongebob surely knows how to make a date unforgettable." She remarked sarcastically.

"Oh, what wouldn't you know about that?" I asked her and she laughed lightly, making my heart explode.

"My dates are unforgettable in a good way." She defended herself.

"I'd be the judge of that and I can't say anything. How many dates have you even taken me on? Minus three?" I asked and she chuckled again.

"You're so overdramatic." She rolled her eyes playfully and I smiled.

I loved seeing her happy, even if it wasn't real. It was at least something. She made an effort which meant she hadn't given herself up entirely.

After two more episodes Y/n fell asleep on my lap. Courtney called me and after I checked Y/n's pulse out of paranoia, I picked up.

"Hey, Court." I said, my voice having a little more energy than usually.

"Hey, how are you?" She asked me gently, knowing how things were lately.

After a bit of small talk, Y/n's topic dropped again.

"It's been over a month again, Ariana. You can't keep torturing yourself like this." She told me and I rolled my eyes.

I hated how everyone treated me like I wasn't an adult who knew what's best for herself. But at the same time, if I knew what was best for me, I wouldn't stay with Y/n.

"It's actually getting better, Courtney." I said.

"Because she made a joke while y'all were watching fucking Spongebob? That's why you think she's finally dealing with her issues?" Courtney asked me, her voice being obviously judging.

She had missed my point completely. It wasn't about the small joke. It was about the fact that she had finally said something without me being the conversation starter. It was about the fact that she was doing something funny, something a person that lives does.

"You don't get it. You don't know what it's like to be in her shoes." I defended Y/n.

"Oh, sorry but you do? You know what it's like to be a fucked up drug addict? She doesn't care about anyone but herself, Ariana. Do you think she really loves you? She's not capable of loving anything, she's only with you because she's scared of dying alone because she knows that sooner or later she'll be dead." Courtney went off and I got mad.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Stop being so fucking mean. She didn't do anything to you. I've never been addicted to drugs but other than you I don't lack empathy, you fucking psychopath." I defended Y/n again and Courtney sighed.

"I don't hate Y/n. But I don't regret punching her that one day. She doesn't deserve you." She said.

"She needs help, Courtney."

"You're grown, Ari. The reason I'm putting such an effort in this is because I love you. And I know you're not gonna listen because no matter how much we love you, you will always love her more. And that's okay but I can't continue watching how you destroy yourself, I'm sorry." She told me.

"What?" I asked, not wanting to know what she meant.

"You talk to us about Y/n all the time but you don't want our advice. You just want someone to rant to. That's okay but I can't be that someone. I can't listen to my best friend destroying herself and just nod my head and agree. I've been there for you every step of your life but this one has topped everything that ever happened. I'm truly sorry but I'm out, Ari." She said and hung up.

Great, one friend less.

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Well? Hi 😅

Is anyone reading this?