Damn it

Tuesday

~Mila~

"Okay Mils, it's the second day after summer vacation, do you know what that means?" Lucy asked excitedly as we walked into our school. "That it's the second day in hell?" I mumbled. Lucy was a ball of sunshine, every morning, every day and it could be tiring. I had gotten through the night with 3 hours of sleep and a lot of thinking about my small interactions with Enzo, his attitude in the lunch hall, our conversation during art and him and his brother behind the school.
"No Mila! It's rugby try outs! That means a bunch of hot guys showing off. I wanna watch!" She whined. "Lucy, it's rugby, that's not boys showing off that's boys in war. It's a crazy sport."
"A crazy sport with crazy hot guys yea. Please I'm begging you. We'll get some Starbucks afterwards." Damn it. She knows I can't say no to that. 
"Fine. But you pay." 
"Deal!" She smirked at me with that stupid glim in her eyes that always got me to do anything for her. 

Lucy and I sat in English class, thank god we had almost all of our classes together I literally have no other friends, the only people that know me, know me through Lucy. 

Manuel took a seat behind us. I sighed dropping my head in my hands. "Not happy to see me Mila?" He asked in that playful tone he always spoke with. "Not really no." He rolled his eyes and turned his attention to my best friend. "Hi sunshine." 
"Hi dimples." I never understood the hype about nicknames until I met Manuel. I don't think he ever called anyone he was friends with by their actual name. 

He just called you Mila.

Yea cause we're not friends anymore remember.

To my surprise Lorenzo walked into the classroom and took his seat next to Manuel. He looked tired, and I had to stop myself from asking if he still had nightmares. Of course he still had them. He's never not had them.
"How ya doing, Homie?" Manuel asked cheerfully. "Alright, Champ. Ready for tryouts?" Enzo asked. "More then." Another reason that I didn't want to watch rugby tryouts. 

"Are you and Manuel still close?" I asked Lucy after we had taken our seats in the stands. "I'm not sure. I mean he lives across the street and his sister is a friend so I see him a lot. But Manuel and I drifted apart a little." She mumbled. "Do you miss him?" 
"He was my best friend after you. Of course I miss him." Oh. "Okay." 
"Do you miss Lorenzo?" She asked. "No." Liar. She stared at my expression with a frown on her face. "You don't?" She asked again. "He hurt me Lucy, of course I don't miss him." 
"Keep telling yourself that and maybe it will come true." She mumbled. "It already is, Lu. I don't miss him for bits."
"Not even a tiny little bit?" 
"Drop it Lucy! I don't miss him! Not even a tiny little bit." I spat. "Jeez, relax Mils it was just a question. Which you started with." 
I stayed quiet and so did she. "I'm sorry." She said after a while even tho she shouldn't have been the one to apologize. "No, I am sorry, Luce." I said resting my head on her shoulder. "We shouldn't fight over stupid boys." She giggled. "That's not like us at all." 
"It's really not. We only fight about which movie we should watch." I smiled at her. "We should watch Tangled tonight." She nodded. "Omg you look like Rapunzel." I smiled. "No I don't." She laughed. "Yes you totally do! No wonder it's your favorite movie. It is you." I said ruffling her blond hair. "No no not my hair!" She laughed defending herself by grabbing both my wrists. "Let me go!" I laughed. "Do you promise to not touch my hair?" Lucy asked trying to sound serious. "I do."
"Do you promise to watch Tangled with me tonight?" 
"Fine I do now let me go!" She let go of my wrists and grabbed me in a hug. 
"You're my Ride or Die, Mila." 
 "And You're my Goldie." I smiled taping her perfectly shaped button nose. "You're adorable."
 "Stop it! You're making me blush." She smiled pushing my head away. "I'm serious tho. I wouldn't want anyone else as my best friend. I love you a lot. Even tho you are grumpy every morning." That's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. "I love you too. Even tho you are wayyy too happy in the morning." 

"Rugby is crazy." I sighed dropping on my bed. Lucy came in struggling to hold all the food my dad dropped in her arms. "Help." Laughing I stood up from my bed and took some food from her. "Now put on Tangled." She smiled. 

Lucy had gone home for dinner and Ivon was with Elliza so it was just me and my parents at home. I sat on a stool at the kitchen island as my dad started dinner and mom was busy drawing some clothing designs next to me. She was a fashion designer and made the most gorgeous dresses. Half of my closet was full with clothes she had made and every one of them were beautiful. "Lucy is so adorable." Mom smiled at me. "Yea she's the best thing in the world." I said. You said the same thing about Enzo. 

I know.

Who knows when you and Lucy will fall apart too.

I know.

You're not a good friend Mila.

I know

He knows it.

I know too. 

He hates you.
I hate me too.

"You okay, Pumpkin?" Dad asked. Stupid nickname. "I told you to stop calling me that." I grumbled throwing my head back. "It's a cute nickname, Dotty." Mom said. "Will the two of you stop?! I'm going crazy over here." They both laughed at me. Christ I hate nicknames. "No but are you okay, sweetheart?" Dad asked. "I'm alright." I miss Enzo. "You know your eyes twitch when you lie right?" Mom said. "No they don't." I said quickly covering my eyes. "They do. Now tell me what's up." Dad ordered. 
"You're gonna get mad at me." 
"I promise I won't." He put out his pinky for a pinky promise. I wrapped my pinky around his. 

"I miss my friends." 
"Your friends?" 
"I miss Manuel and his stupid jokes and I miss Enzo and his stupid idiotic brain and worse of all I miss it when the four of us still hang out without half of them hating me. They all hate me, dad and it's your fault."  A flash of hurt rolled over his expressions. "Honey-" Dad wanted to say something but got cut off by my mom. "Maybe you should just stop trying to fix things, baby. You said you talked to Enzo yesterday and that it was fine, there's nothing more that you can do. He lost his mother and that's a traumatic thing we know that, honey. But he shot you, sweetheart."  Mom said not breaking eye contact with my dad.
"Mom, something's wrong with him. Nothing about the conversations we had yesterday was fine! He was not fine!" I yelled. "You two ruined both our lives! And I love you guys, but I also hate you so much for what you did to them, for what you did to all of us." 
"Honey-" Dad tried again, this time I cut him off. "No I can't do this, I'm going to bed." I said before walking to my room and dropping down on my bed. 

I grabbed my phone searching for Lucy's number. No answer. 

I can't breathe.

Ivon. No answer. 

Elliza. No answer. 

Damn it where is everyone!

Breathe damn it!

Bawling my eyes out I walked into my bathroom and locked the door. 

I need to call someone. I need someone to distract me before I lose my mind. 
I don't have anyone to call. 

Enzo? 

Before I could press his contact my phone lit up with an incoming call. 

Enzo.